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Should I Let My Son Play Dress-up?

Discussion in 'Christian Philosophy & Ethics' started by DanielRuben, Nov 9, 2018.

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  1. DanielRuben

    DanielRuben New Member

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    My 7 year old son is crazy lately about playing dress-up with his female friends (most of his friends are girls although he does get on very well with a couple of boys too - his best friend is a boy, they're inseperable when they're together).

    To be honest, it worries me a lot as a father to see him running around in dresses and skirts when I go to pic him up from play dates. He's already a nervy, sensitive kid, not into team sports at all and most of his friends are female. On the other hand it's not like he's unsure about whether he's a boy or a girl - he's definitely certain about that fact. I asked him once if he ever wished he was a girl and he said "What for? I just wanna be a boy not a girl", so that seems settled.

    The behaviour seems harmless on the surface but then again, the Bible also reads pretty straight on this it seems: “A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God." (Deut. 22:5)

    It all seems innocent enough now but I've seen innocent behaviour turn into something much more dangerous. I saw this first-hand in my younger brother who's hopelessly addicted to weed which began with "innocent" experimentation when he was 15.

    I don't really know what to do. I don't want to overreact. Some of his friends' parents are pretty liberal too and I don't want them to go "poor kid with his crazy fundie dad". What's the moral thing to do here? Should I stamp out this behaviour and insist on God's word on this or just let it be and hope it's just a passing phase?

    Thanks in advance for any advice.
     
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  2. Paidiske

    Paidiske Bodily member Staff Member Supervisor Supporter

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    At that age it's still pretty normal to explore and learn about the world through imaginative play. If he were 17 you might have reason to be worried, but at 7 that's totally age-appropriate.

    In a year or two he'll be lucky to still have such innocent friendships, I'd say let him enjoy them for now.
     
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  3. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Supporter Angels Team

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    Well I am sure you will get plenty of other responses here but my answer would be a resounding NO.
    He is made in the image and likeness of God and God does not make mistakes so explain to him, That he is a boy and dress him like one.
    Take that boy out hunting and fishing and show him manly things.
    Men and women are equals in the eyes of God, But they have differing roles in society and if children are not taught the truth, They grow up confused.
     
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  4. disciple Clint

    disciple Clint Active Member

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    He will be fine, not to worry. He seems to be very comfortable with being a boy.
     
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  5. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Supporter Angels Team

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    Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
    Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
    Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
    Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
    Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
     
  6. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Supporter Angels Team

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  7. gym_class_hero

    gym_class_hero Active Member

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    God is not the author of confusion. I wouldn't be over the top about it but Id guide his habits and friendships towards boy stuff. If at an early age you teach him it's ok to dress up like a girl, why would he depart from that or change his thinking as he ages?
     
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  8. Soul-searching

    Soul-searching Member

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    He is 7, he is just playing. Sorry, but to me it seems like you are full of fear, that your son will not live up to the role model of a man. You can not make a child fit into a bibel verse made for adults, children needs to play, to explore, and be imaginative. Many girls plays with cars, like there is equally many boys who plays with dolls, it does not say anything about anything, it´s just play. I don´t think you can hold a 7 year old accountable for their actions in play like that, and say that what they play with now, predicts their future, nothing predicts anyones future, no one even knows if we are alive in 5 years. You say he is sensitive. If you force him to be something he is not, you will only hurt him, more than you know. If he learns now that all he likes to play with is bad, then he will fear making independant choises, and he will feel less about himself. Let him be who he is, let him figure out who he is on his own.
     
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  9. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Supporter Angels Team

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    Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

    Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
    Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
    Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
    Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
    Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
     
  10. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

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    Totally age appropriate?
    False.

    I seriously doubt that more than 1 in 25 little boys get off on dressing like a girl.

    Some might think this to be proper behavior but, men know deep in their hearts that it is not.

    And as mentioned it is specified in the Bible not to do this.

    Many that claim to follow the Word at times seem to not take it seriously?

    Note -- my wife has been teaching 2nd and 3rd grade for over 20 years and this is not a common behavior.

    I would share this dressing issue with your pastor or a local pastor of a (solid Church.)

    M-Bob
     
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  11. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Supporter Angels Team

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    This is why children are so confused now days. They are free to do what feels good to them and it is not biblical. We are told to raise them in the way that glorifies God and a boy wearing girls clothes doesn't do that at all, Even if it is just play now. Later in life it will not be and he will be confused.
     
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  12. gym_class_hero

    gym_class_hero Active Member

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    have to respectfully disagree. It's more important to teach our kids who God wants them to be, instead of "who he is on his own."
     
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  13. musicalpilgrim

    musicalpilgrim pilgrim on the sacred music pathway Supporter Angels Team

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    Can you encourage more boy stuff? Bat man, Star Wars etc...he could take his gear with him, his favourite outfit of the moment. I would always encourage, nothing confrontational but I always 'prefer' The right outfit for a boy.
     
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  14. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

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    Most of my friends atm are women. Ironically, my interests are more feminine in nature too.

    But I'm perfectly straight. Have absolutely no attraction to a male whatsoever and only crazy attracted to women.
     
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  15. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

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    Well maybe there is a little confusion here? Maybe rather than state what we think to be correct we should actually check on the Word of God??????

    As my Christian Mentor says often, "what do you wish to do tear that page from your Bible?????"

    If left to the Old Common Man some Bibles may not have more than eight pages in them????

    What does the Bible say about cross-dressing / transvestism?

    M-Bob

    I just cannot get over how some wish to share a weak message. My question for them would be -- how many little boys did you really see dressed up as Peter Pan on Halloween????????
     
  16. Aspzan

    Aspzan Member

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    I think you should not worry about what other people will think about your parenting, worry about what God has instructed. If you live the Christian life you will face persecution.

    John 15:18-27 (KJV)
    18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

    Also, men are to be masculine:

    1 Corinthians 16:13 (KJV)

    13 Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.
     
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  17. SkyWriting

    SkyWriting The Librarian Supporter

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    Thanks for the "Christian Moral Dilemma" exercise.
    Brain exercise is good.
     
  18. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

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    There's never a true dilemma for the few that actually follow the Bible.

    M-Bob
     
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  19. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe society has come down to the point that this is even in question. Of course boys don't wear girls cloths, period. Unless they were just drowning and need something dry on to save their lives there is absolutely no good reason to stick a boy in girls clothing and letting him get into that habit when he is playing with girls is silly, actually pathetic.. You won't think it's ok when his future wife finds out he wants to wear her nighties and panty hose. It's cross dressing at any age and letting him do it is giving him the go ahead, " Gee ya son that's fine".. NO, You can calmly tell him in the car on the way home, " look son boys don't wear girls cloths ok, do you ever see dad running around in a dress"? If he regularly plays with little girls at 7 he knows the anatomy is different ( i sure did), he has different equipment than they do. And he needs to dress accordingly, next thing you know he will wonder why he can't wear a bikini to the beach when someone has to tell him to go change out of it.. Talk about confusing the kid ! How about stopping the confusion dead in it's tracks and tell him to go put on his own cloths.
     
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  20. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

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    Some will not wish to believe it but, it's a fact that these little ones grow up with many psychological problems, other addictions and a higher rate of suicide.

    Now who the heck would promote that in a sweet little one??

    Please keep it at home.

    M-Bob
     
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