Should i just let him go?

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I've been thinking about this for a while..and then thinking about it again.

My friend is getting married soon and I feel our lives are on 2 different wave lengths,
Mine has gotten better but I feel like its a roller coaster..like it goes up then dips down...well now its dipping..I don't want to talk about it but..because of it.. I told my friend I needed a break and wanted to be alone.

I just wonder if should let it go because its going to happen eventually..and if it does I rather do it now than later...u know?

A part of me is afraid ill miss him but its like ..its going to happen anyway and ill have to cope. Even my other friends our texts have slowed to a crawl...everyone is moving on with their lives and in their lives...and I want to do the same..

I want to move on because its like ...with online friends you can't do anything with them..its not like they're here and they're so busy in their lives that I don't think we could meet... But I'm also afraid because I don't think ill ever meet friends as good as them...
But I just wish they were with me physically so I won't be so lonely.

Idk know what to do. Part of me wants to end the friendships. All of them...because its going no where... We'll never meet up or hang out...and it sucks because I get along so well with them... And all the people I tried to befriend in real life never wanted much to do with me outside of class and I feel like I'm just destined to lead this lonely life..

And if so, I'm not strong enough for it.

But I feel having these amazing friends I can text but never meet is like a carrot being dangled in my face..

I just..idk

 

[QuikSand]

I've been thinking about this for a while..and then thinking about it again.

My friend is getting married soon and I feel our lives are on 2 different wave lengths,
Mine has gotten better but I feel like its a roller coaster..like it goes up then dips down...well now its dipping..I don't want to talk about it but..because of it.. I told my friend I needed a break and wanted to be alone.

I just wonder if should let it go because its going to happen eventually..and if it does I rather do it now than later...u know?

A part of me is afraid ill miss him but its like ..its going to happen anyway and ill have to cope. Even my other friends our texts have slowed to a crawl...everyone is moving on with their lives and in their lives...and I want to do the same..

I want to move on because its like ...with online friends you can't do anything with them..its not like they're here and they're so busy in their lives that I don't think we could meet... But I'm also afraid because I don't think ill ever meet friends as good as them...
But I just wish they were with me physically so I won't be so lonely.

Idk know what to do. Part of me wants to end the friendships. All of them...because its going no where... We'll never meet up or hang out...and it sucks because I get along so well with them... And all the people I tried to befriend in real life never wanted much to do with me outside of class and I feel like I'm just destined to lead this lonely life..

And if so, I'm not strong enough for it.

But I feel having these amazing friends I can text but never meet is like a carrot being dangled in my face..

I just..idk

Here is your signature...

If there's one thing I've learned, is that it's up to me
If it's my life then nobody gonna tell me how to live it They can't see the way I see it through my eyes

 

[Near]

I like to think of myself as a traveler going from place to place, city to city, state to state, country to country. (That's just a metaphor. I actually don't travel much.)
You meet new people, and make new friends, sorta lose contact, but that's okay, more friends are around the corner!
Who needs to have the same friends all the time anyways?

 

[Saucy]

Depends on how you feel. If you feel it's over, there's nothing left to go on, then just quietly disappear from his life. At some point, you have to take into consideration what you're getting out of the friendship and if you're the only one trying to keep it going, then you should divert your attention elsewhere

 

[Hidden In Him]

A part of me is afraid ill miss him but its like ..its going to happen anyway and ill have to cope

If it's going to happen eventually, why are you rushing it? You might be hurting him too.

I feel like I'm just destined to lead this lonely life... And if so, I'm not strong enough for it.

You're being worked over. Your ID lists you as Christian, which means you have God to turn to for strength. Do you believe these verses apply to you in your own life? (Philippians 4:13; Philippians 4:4-8).

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

If it's going to happen eventually, why are you rushing it? You might be hurting him too.

I know but I don't want to hurt either... When he finally has everything he's ever wanted line up so perfectly then he gets to move on with a new chapter of his life while I'm left behind and still lonely. If rather end it now..

 

[Hidden In Him]

I know but I don't want to hurt either... When he finally has everything he's ever wanted line up so perfectly then he gets to move on with a new chapter of his life while I'm left behind and still lonely. If rather end it now..

Ok, fair enough. What about my other question?

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Ok, fair enough. What about my other question?

I do believe that but its gets lonely just being u and god. I can't hear him,see him, feel him.. Its not good to be alone. I need to meet people... That's I'm going to pray for and pray for hard.

 

[Hidden In Him]

... That's what I'm going to pray for and pray for hard.

Ok. As I think I said to you in another thread, keep in mind that if you continue walking with God the time will come for friends in Him. In the meantime, I would just repeat my suggestion that with God you have a friend that will never marry out, and go on to live His perfect life without you. And by the sound of it, your present loneliness suggests that up until now you have been investing yourself far more in the friendship of those you can see and touch than in Him.

Isn't it time to maybe try something else?

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

"If it's my life then nobody gonna tell me how to live it"

Can you see the contradiction in asking for advice and having this in your signature?

 

[pdudgeon]

I've been thinking about this for a while..and then thinking about it again.

My friend is getting married soon and I feel our lives are on 2 different wave lengths,
Mine has gotten better but I feel like its a roller coaster..like it goes up then dips down...well now its dipping..I don't want to talk about it but..because of it.. I told my friend I needed a break and wanted to be alone.

I just wonder if should let it go because its going to happen eventually..and if it does I rather do it now than later...u know?

A part of me is afraid ill miss him but its like ..its going to happen anyway and ill have to cope. Even my other friends our texts have slowed to a crawl...everyone is moving on with their lives and in their lives...and I want to do the same..

I want to move on because its like ...with online friends you can't do anything with them..its not like they're here and they're so busy in their lives that I don't think we could meet... But I'm also afraid because I don't think ill ever meet friends as good as them...
But I just wish they were with me physically so I won't be so lonely.

Idk know what to do. Part of me wants to end the friendships. All of them...because its going no where... We'll never meet up or hang out...and it sucks because I get along so well with them... And all the people I tried to befriend in real life never wanted much to do with me outside of class and I feel like I'm just destined to lead this lonely life.

And if so, I'm not strong enough for it.

But I feel having these amazing friends I can text but never meet is like a carrot being dangled in my face..

I just..idk

there's a couple of points worth exploring here..
1. you mention two different wave lengths, and that's a very apt description. Your friend who is getting married should be putting his future wife first which will inevitably bump your relationship with him down a notch., and be cause for a new and different connection than the two of you have had before.
All of that takes both time and some juggling to learn how to handle things.
It does mean change and learning how to relate on a different level than was previously enjoyed by each of you, but it doesn't have to mean relinquishing the relationship.

2. online relationships are different. They just are, because of the distance factor.
So the key there is to learn to appreciate it for what it is....basically a sounding board or a support group.

3. save the true friendships for people in real life whom you can fully interact with on a regular basis, and treat those folks like family. It sounds like those relationships are what is missing in your life.

 

[Galatea]

This is going to sound harsh, I don't intend it to be harsh- but it might come across that way.

Put yourself in the shoes of your friend's fiancee. If you were about to get married, would you want your husband to be talking to single women online? I most assuredly WOULD NOT.

Maybe I'm a fuddy duddy (probably so) but if I were married, I would not my husband talking to women online. It might lead to an emotional affair.

I would say talk to single men, single women and married women. This keeps you safe from becoming romantically attached to a married man, it avoids this pitfall. I am not insinuating that you have romantic feelings for this man, but they might develop on your part or his part in the future.

This is my course of action, anyway.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

This is going to sound harsh, I don't intend it to be harsh- but it might come across that way.

Put yourself in the shoes of your friend's fiancee. If you were about to get married, would you want your husband to be talking to single women online? I most assuredly WOULD NOT.

Maybe I'm a fuddy duddy (probably so) but if I were married, I would not my husband talking to women online. It might lead to an emotional affair.

I would say talk to single men, single women and married women. This keeps you safe from becoming romantically attached to a married man, it avoids this pitfall. I am not insinuating that you have romantic feelings for this man, but they might develop on your part or his part in the future.

This is my course of action, anyway.

Oh no no no, I'm not jealous of his gf nor do I want to take her place I know very well she comes first ...I'm just saying I just feel my friend and I are on 2 different wave lengths and I feel maybe its best to cut if off bc he's gonna have a wife soon, he'll be married while I'm still single... And I feel eventually our friendship will fizzle. I just feel alone is all. I just wish I had friends here with my physically...its just lonely.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I know but I don't want to hurt either... When he finally has everything he's ever wanted line up so perfectly then he gets to move on with a new chapter of his life while I'm left behind and still lonely. If rather end it now..

No one has everything they want and nothing in this world lines up perfectly.

Maybe you are 'presumming' that your friends lives are perfect or something. I know a lot of people pretend they are things they are not, but you should not be putting their lives on a pedestal either.

A friend should be there in good times and in bad. So now that they are going through a good time of happiness in their life you want to get up and run?

I don't get it. You must learn to be happy for others and be happy in their happiness. It sounds (and I may be wrong) that you are only interested in yourself and now that they are beginning a new chapter in their life, they can not be there for you anymore or they are not good enough now to be your friend?

What kind of friend are you being to them? That you do not want to share with them in their happiness, only their or your pain?

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

This is going to sound harsh, I don't intend it to be harsh- but it might come across that way.

Put yourself in the shoes of your friend's fiancee. If you were about to get married, would you want your husband to be talking to single women online? I most assuredly WOULD NOT.

Maybe I'm a fuddy duddy (probably so) but if I were married, I would not my husband talking to women online. It might lead to an emotional affair.

I would say talk to single men, single women and married women. This keeps you safe from becoming romantically attached to a married man, it avoids this pitfall. I am not insinuating that you have romantic feelings for this man, but they might develop on your part or his part in the future.

This is my course of action, anyway.

Also, I told my friend abt that, it would seem awkward for us to keep talking while he is married so its best to end the friendship...and I'm not attracted to him.

 

[Galatea]

Oh no no no, I'm not jealous of his gf nor do I want to take her place I know very well she comes first ...I'm just saying I just feel my friend and I are on 2 different wave lengths and I feel maybe its best to cut if off bc he's gonna have a wife soon, he'll be married while I'm still single... And I feel eventually our friendship will fizzle. I just feel alone is all. I just wish I had friends here with my physically...its just lonely.

I didn't mean to imply that you had romantic feelings toward him. But you MIGHT in the future, or he MIGHT in the future. When it comes to married men, better safe than sorry, I think.

I know I probably sound like a controlling harpy or something, but if I ever get married, I'd want him to not have female online friends. I'd hope he wouldn't want me to chat with men, either.

It seems to me that when you are married and friends with a person of the opposite sex, it is playing with fire. Love happens when you least expect it, so it is just a policy of mine. I don't want to be too friendly with married men online (or in real life, for that matter).

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

No one has everything they want and nothing in this world lines up perfectly.

Maybe you are 'presumming' that your friends lives are perfect or something. I know a lot of people pretend they are things they are not, but you should not be putting their lives on a pedestal either.

A friend should be there in good times and in bad. So now that they are going through a good time of happiness in their life you want to get up and run?

I don't get it. You must learn to be happy for others and be happy in their happiness. It sounds (and I may be wrong) that you are only interested in yourself and now that they are beginning a new chapter in their life, they can not be there for you anymore or they are not good enough now to be your friend?

What kind of friend are you being to them? That you do not want to share with them in their happiness, only their or your pain?

Yes you're very wrong. I have been happy for them when they graduated, getting married ect. I have been happy but this is inevitable. My friend will be married soon so we can't talk anymore because with won't look right so its going to come to an end soon...maybe sooner than later.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I didn't mean to imply that you had romantic feelings toward him. But you MIGHT in the future, or he MIGHT in the future. When it comes to married men, better safe than sorry, I think.

I know I probably sound like a controlling harpy or something, but if I ever get married, I'd want him to not have female online friends. I'd hope he wouldn't want me to chat with men, either.

It seems to me that when you are married and friends with a person of the opposite sex, it is playing with fire. Love happens when you least expect it, so it is just a policy of mine. I don't want to be too friendly with married men online (or in real life, for that matter).

No you aren't controlling. If feel the same way if I had a man that talked to some girl online the way me and my friend talk.... That's why I say maybe it's best if I let him go now. It'll be hard but I feel it needs to happen. In very sad about it but it has to happen.fml

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

"If it's my life then nobody gonna tell me how to live it"

Can you see the contradiction in asking for advice and having this in your signature?

Its just a signature, musical lyrics, don't read so much into it. I could have holy scriptures as a signature and still be living the way I want and you wouldn't be able to tell. Plus, your post doesn't answer anything in my thread.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Its just a signature, musical lyrics, don't read so much into it. I could have holy scriptures as a signature and still be living the way I want and you wouldn't be able to tell. Plus, your post doesn't answer anything in my thread.