Should I be praying for a relationship?

[DrasticMeasurements]

I don't really know how I should work this, but I'm desperate for a girlfriend and I believe that God wants me to marry because of all the passion that I experience. However, I've just been going through bad luck in dating over and over again. I'm 25 and never been on a date, let alone been in a relationship and my friends, even those that are Christian, can't relate.

A year ago, I turned down an offer from Navy OCS because I knew that with a 6-year contract that I'll spend more miserable years single when I didn't want to be so I did the lesser-evil choice and didn't go to the Navy.

I don't feel worthy of praying for a relationship because I felt that I've done a lot of sin in the past, although part of me feels that God is calling me to marriage because I'm not what Jesus describes in Matthew 19:12, as in I'm not a eunuch or single by choice.

Would really appreciate social and spiritual guidance because it's been going on for years. The only thing I haven't fully accomplished was attain a six-pack abs and biceps that I believe help attract women, especially for a first date.

 

[anna ~ grace]

This may sound desperate and silly, but it's worked for centuries. What about asking some of the older ladies at church to put their feelers out for any nice, Christian, singles girls who might be looking?

 

[Blade]

worthy has nothing what so ever to do with this. What did GOD tell Adam and Eve to go do? HELLO? So... know this.. when you pray.. KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW (faith) He hears you! If you ask the Father ANYTHING in my name.. what so ever you desire when you pray.. ask me (jesus) anything I will do it. If you know the Father hears you when you pray you KNOW you have the petitions you asked for!

WHERE do you think this DESIRE you have came from? YOUR FAITHER! Its HIS WILL!

 

[Edwin627]

No.
Firstly you'll find if you focus on something else (career, sport etc), it'll be easier to date and find a meaningful relationship. With the sole purpose of finding a Wife you will be rushing into things, running the risk of marrying a woman who won't respect you.

Secondly Six pack abs won't help neither will big biceps. But being physically strong is always good for life in general.

If you pray for anything about this situation, pray for help in your decision making.

 

[DrasticMeasurements]

This may sound desperate and silly, but it's worked for centuries. What about asking some of the older ladies at church to put their feelers out for any nice, Christian, singles girls who might be looking?

I currently go to a very small church and feel shy that I've known some older ladies for months and haven't asked because it would come off as weird at this point.

The reason I mentioned looks was because almost all the married guys I know were in some physical shape better off than me. Like I said, if I can't get a date or last 2 minutes in a conversation with a new woman, chances are I'm not her type.

And Blade, I do appreciate your strong statements regarding prayer. I try to make sure I go in with a clean mind when I make pleas to God. It's a feeling that God wants me to pursue certain goals combined with the right intentions.

 

[AllDayFaith]

Honestly, most girls aren't attracted to big muscles, they prefer a confident man. If you work on your confidence and learn to become very decisive, then you will attract a lady. What works for me is being around women for a while. At first you get to know them and engage in convo, eventually it will naturally happen for you.

 

[anna ~ grace]

I currently go to a very small church and feel shy that I've known some older ladies for months and haven't asked because it would come off as weird at this point.

The reason I mentioned looks was because almost all the married guys I know were in some physical shape better off than me. Like I said, if I can't get a date or last 2 minutes in a conversation with a new woman, chances are I'm not her type.

And Blade, I do appreciate your strong statements regarding prayer. I try to make sure I go in with a clean mind when I make pleas to God. It's a feeling that God wants me to pursue certain goals combined with the right intentions.

Try anyway! It's never too late, and little old Christian ladies love match making!

 

[DrasticMeasurements]

Honestly, most girls aren't attracted to big muscles, they prefer a confident man. If you work on your confidence and learn to become very decisive, then you will attract a lady. What works for me is being around women for a while. At first you get to know them and engage in convo, eventually it will naturally happen for you.

That MAY be true. But my problem is currently more concentrated in the DATING phase, rather than the relationship part. I consider myself very confident out in the field until reality hits, that is: She needs to find you attractive enough to like your personality. What I mean is that if I approach a woman I don't know, have a conversation and intend to ask her out, she needs to be physically attracted or find me to be "her type". The vast majority of rejections I've experienced are because of that 2-minute mark. Either she blatantly ignores me within the conversation, or she gives out a phone number only to never answer a call (yes, I never text like most guys, I call).

Going up to a girl out of the blue is already confident enough, whether at work, at the gym or in a school group. I can read her body language (wink, playing with her hair, etc.) if she's interested or not from afar and the only times it's happened was when I was in sorta good shape. I'm now close to obese so that's why I'm taking a sabbatical from dating and focusing on my physical health and relationship with God in the meantime.

 

[DrasticMeasurements]

What do you think?

 

[AllDayFaith]

I'm now close to obese so that's why I'm taking a sabbatical from dating and focusing on my physical health and relationship with God in the meantime.

I can say that I am obese, and the prettiest girls still flirt with me and give me a chance to be with them.

 

[Strugglingsaint]

Hey brother, my prayers are with you as you try navigate this phase of single-hood and searching for the right partner.

Praying would be a good idea, it's always good to submit our requests to Him. Speak to Him and continue to read His Word.

What I would suggest, on a practical aspect, though is to have an inward look, why is it that you're desperate?
Start asking yourself some of these questions, write them down if you need, it doesn't really matter.

What's important is that marriage is good, the desire to have a wife is not wrong. However, these desires can be perverted and sinful.

Especially if these desires comes from a deep-rooted dissatisfaction in our lives.
Would you be fine with never marrying and remaining celibate for the rest of your life? If not, why not?
Would having nothing but Christ be considered gain to you (Php 3)? Now, the answer is obvious, but believing it and living that out is the hard part.

Work on being satisfied in Christ, work on conforming into His image, when we start to seek confirmation outside of Him is when we start treading dangerous waters. Yes a wife is good, if you're both growing together in Christ toward one goal in unity, seeking to proclaim the Gospel, encourage others and build up His Body etc...
When we're searching for a partner because we're lonely, destitute, sexually frustrated, incomplete, wanting that's when we aren't truly satisfied in Christ alone.

I wrestle with this often, being 25 and single too. It's especially hard to find a solid Christian woman where I live. My desire is to be content with what I already have, that way, by God's goodness, grace and will, if I find a wife - I won't be seeking for her to complete me and instead be the husband she deserves.

TL;DR - work on being content with God and with what you have, become the right person, stop looking for the right person.

 

[carp614]

Nothing wrong with asking God in prayer to provide you with a wife. My wife prayed for my soul and my safety from the time she was 13 or 14...long before we met.

You seem to have some other things you need to focus on right now though...

 

[Not David]

I don't really know how I should work this, but I'm desperate for a girlfriend and I believe that God wants me to marry because of all the passion that I experience. However, I've just been going through bad luck in dating over and over again. I'm 25 and never been on a date, let alone been in a relationship and my friends, even those that are Christian, can't relate.

A year ago, I turned down an offer from Navy OCS because I knew that with a 6-year contract that I'll spend more miserable years single when I didn't want to be so I did the lesser-evil choice and didn't go to the Navy.

I don't feel worthy of praying for a relationship because I felt that I've done a lot of sin in the past, although part of me feels that God is calling me to marriage because I'm not what Jesus describes in Matthew 19:12, as in I'm not a eunuch or single by choice.

Would really appreciate social and spiritual guidance because it's been going on for years. The only thing I haven't fully accomplished was attain a six-pack abs and biceps that I believe help attract women, especially for a first date.

You need confidence! Girls are attracted to guys who don't cling to them.

 

[DrasticMeasurements]

You need confidence! Girls are attracted to guys who don't cling to them.

I consider myself a pretty confident person. Although I believe a large chunk of my problem was that I attended the wrong college. I went to UH which was so liberal that I couldn't find a nice Christian woman there. If I attended A&M or Oral Roberts, I would've been married by now. This isn't a puff of bitterness, rather it's me coming to terms that when many Christian men told me "seek a better pond", they weren't joking. Most universities are so ridiculously left-wing that Christian dating is almost extinct there.

This last midterm, I looked up the results of my college's precinct in Harris county, Texas and found that ONLY 7% of the students at UH voted for Ted Cruz, compared to 92% for O'Rourke. Cruz did better in some of the black neighborhoods.

I guess that my prayers should instill me with wisdom to seek a more Godly community of believers so that I can empathize being spiritually transformed for a future relationship, in addition for better opportunities of meeting women. Not all Republicans are Christians, but almost every committed believer in Christ tends to lean towards the GOP.

 

[Not David]

I consider myself a pretty confident person. Although I believe a large chunk of my problem was that I attended the wrong college. I went to UH which was so liberal that I couldn't find a nice Christian woman there. If I attended A&M or Oral Roberts, I would've been married by now. This isn't a puff of bitterness, rather it's me coming to terms that when many Christian men told me "seek a better pond", they weren't joking. Most universities are so ridiculously left-wing that Christian dating is almost extinct there.

This last midterm, I looked up the results of my college's precinct in Harris county, Texas and found that ONLY 7% of the students at UH voted for Ted Cruz, compared to 92% for O'Rourke. Cruz did better in some of the black neighborhoods.

I guess that my prayers should instill me with wisdom to seek a more Godly community of believers so that I can empathize being spiritually transformed for a future relationship, in addition for better opportunities of meeting women. Not all Republicans are Christians, but almost every committed believer in Christ tends to lean towards the GOP.

"If I attended A&M or Oral Roberts, I would've been married by now."
I guess I am doing something wrong if I am not married yet.