Should I accept who I am or pray for a change?

[bèlla]

The desire for remarkableness often hails from ego. They want to be special and have the spoils. But it has little to do with Him.

God doesn’t call everyone to a stage, platform, or ministry with a million eyes. Many see the accolades and never consider the sacrifices, expense, or spiritual battles you encounter.

They don’t realize you’re not in control. He is. My obedience is costing me three international moves and 5 years of self-funded education in euros and pounds.

How many people would do that? They’d see their home, savings, and retirement fund and question if they heard Him correctly.

The nitty gritty truths sift and reveal what’s underneath. You can’t be remarkable until you know Him and trust Him with everything. And He defines what it means. What you do. Where you go. And who you serve.

It’s not about you feeling better about yourself because you’re somebody. It’s the lives you touch. The ones who see your walk and want the same for themselves.

They don’t want to be you. They want what’s inside of you. And that’s remarkable.

~Bella

 

[Cis.jd]

I never really liked myself as an individual. I have always been really shy and never had much of a personality or opinions on any matter. I realized that I don't know a lot about anything or have any passions. I never feel like I have a presence anywhere, I just merely exist. There isn't anything I am really known for, I am not charismatic, talented, smart etc. This also hasn't helped me make friends so I have always been a loner. I also don't think I can make a change as a Christian because I don't have anything to offer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason, however, it hurts being so unremarkable. My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?

What you expressed about yourself is something millions of people, such as my self have felt towards themselves. Everyone felt this form of apathy so this alone should tell you that whatever negs you think you have isnt exclusive. You are not the first nor even the 50,000 person that God has known who feels this way.

You are bored and growing. Try to travel. Go on vacation to a different country and just exeperience a new environment and culture. It will be a great escape for you

 

[Cross Over the Lake]

So. A lot of people change through different periods of time. I am not the man I used to be 10 years ago (Thank God!). As for accepting you as you are is up to you. I think some honest prayer and inner reflection would be good for you. Find areas you may be weak in and find a Bible based answer. I’ve found that when God shows me signs of the man He wants me to be it never contradicts the man I would want to see myself become. I do believe that God wants you to love and honor his creations, and that is exactly what you are!! Hope this helped some!

 

[GaveMeJoy]

The guy who led Billy Graham to Christ was a shoe repairman. If you share Jesus with people, you have the possibility in being involved in bringing a dead man or woman to life.

imagine how more significant that is than being good looking, or getting the girl, or being an extrovert? In a thousand years, nobody is going to remember the guy at the party who had everyone’s attention. But if you share JESUS with people, they may be worshiping God in infinite glory in heaven partially through your words. That’s insane! Don’t worry about this life which is a vapor, if you want to do something CRAZY,
Walk up to the next person on the street you see and tell them Jesus Christ died on the cross for their sins!

 

[Aussie Pete]

I never really liked myself as an individual. I have always been really shy and never had much of a personality or opinions on any matter. I realized that I don't know a lot about anything or have any passions. I never feel like I have a presence anywhere, I just merely exist. There isn't anything I am really known for, I am not charismatic, talented, smart etc. This also hasn't helped me make friends so I have always been a loner. I also don't think I can make a change as a Christian because I don't have anything to offer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason, however, it hurts being so unremarkable. My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?

The answer is, oddly enough, yes and yes. God loves you as you are. You will remember that we are called to love our neighbour as we love ourselves. If we not love ourselves, then we have no hope of loving our neighbour. You remind me very much of me. I had to do a SWOT test once. I detest that sort of microscopic analysis. My answer to the "strengths" was easy. I have none. It is not true, as my friends are quick to tell me.

I am what is known as Melancholic by temperament. You might like to get a book by Tim LaHay called "Spirit Controlled Temperaments". It's a good insight into what makes us tick.

Not accepting yourself is rebellion. So a good start is to confess it as sin. God has already forgiven you, but you need to get clean. Now the good news. What you dislike about yourself is the sinful nature that you got from Adam. There is nothing good about it. So God has dealt with the problem with absolute finality. He nailed you to the cross with Christ, killed you and, through water baptism, buried you. So now the negative side is dealt with.

Jesus did not stay dead and neither do those who are identified in Christ. That includes you, if you have accepted Christ in reality. If you are not sure, I can help you there. Since Christ rose from the dead and you were in Him, then you too are risen. That is what it means to be a new creation. The old you really has been dispensed with and the new you really has risen from the dead. That is the best news anyone could have.

God is delighted in you because He no longer sees you directly. When He looks at you, He sees Jesus. How can He reject His own Son? Some will tell you that you have to do all kinds of religious gymnastics and obey all kinds of rules in order to be saved. No you don't. God wraps you in the Son of His great love and you are safe and secure in Him. All we have to do is stay where God puts us. When you see this truth, you will never want to be anywhere else.

When we are born again, it is our spirit man that is resurrected. Our soul man still exists although his hold on us is broken. We have been moulded and formed by experience, parental control, education - our normal life experiences. Some of those are traumatic. So God will set about delivering us from those old ways. We do not change instantly. If we will seek God and ask Him to change the things we hate about ourselves, He most surely will.

I hardly think about myself these days. I know who I am in Christ and I'm more than happy with that. It's been a rough trip at times, but worth every moment. It won't be easy. You will be transformed. Others will see it first. God has a purpose for your life. If you will stay the course, you will fulfil your purpose with great joy.

 

[Richard Mulcahy]

I never really liked myself as an individual. I have always been really shy and never had much of a personality or opinions on any matter. I realized that I don't know a lot about anything or have any passions. I never feel like I have a presence anywhere, I just merely exist. There isn't anything I am really known for, I am not charismatic, talented, smart etc. This also hasn't helped me make friends so I have always been a loner. I also don't think I can make a change as a Christian because I don't have anything to offer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason, however, it hurts being so unremarkable. My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?

You are worth more than Gold...

 

[zoidar]

I never really liked myself as an individual. I have always been really shy and never had much of a personality or opinions on any matter. I realized that I don't know a lot about anything or have any passions. I never feel like I have a presence anywhere, I just merely exist. There isn't anything I am really known for, I am not charismatic, talented, smart etc. This also hasn't helped me make friends so I have always been a loner. I also don't think I can make a change as a Christian because I don't have anything to offer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason, however, it hurts being so unremarkable. My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?

Dear SK_Brace,

God made individuals to enjoy life, with him. Your soul was made by God, but of course God can change us. I believe some of the things you are struggling with today, may be of no concern tomorrow. My thoughts are: Don't think so much of how God can change you, but how you can be of service to God.

Christ love,
Peter

 

[Donovan1972]

I never really liked myself as an individual. I have always been really shy and never had much of a personality or opinions on any matter. I realized that I don't know a lot about anything or have any passions. I never feel like I have a presence anywhere, I just merely exist. There isn't anything I am really known for, I am not charismatic, talented, smart etc. This also hasn't helped me make friends so I have always been a loner. I also don't think I can make a change as a Christian because I don't have anything to offer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason, however, it hurts being so unremarkable. My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?

Look at many of the great people of the Bible. What made them special or unique? It was their faith in God. The kind of faith that could move mountains. As a grain of mustard seed being small and insignificant through the course of faith they would become great people of God used for His Kingdom. We are made for His glory.

 

[Sabertooth]

"For you see your calling, brethren, that

• not many wise according to the flesh,
• not many mighty,
• not many noble,

are called.

But God has chosen

• the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and
• God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and
• the base things of the world and
• the things which are despised God has chosen, and
• the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are,

that no flesh should glory in His presence." 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 NKJV

 

[Steve97]

I never really liked myself as an individual. I have always been really shy and never had much of a personality or opinions on any matter. I realized that I don't know a lot about anything or have any passions. I never feel like I have a presence anywhere, I just merely exist. There isn't anything I am really known for, I am not charismatic, talented, smart etc. This also hasn't helped me make friends so I have always been a loner. I also don't think I can make a change as a Christian because I don't have anything to offer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason, however, it hurts being so unremarkable. My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?

Loaded with low self-esteem (I've been there). We all know that you are a sinner, as we all are. Welcome to the club. Personally, I am more of an introvert. So what? I always strive for having NO esteem...I am not "good" or "bad". Sometimes I am right, sometimes I am wrong. So what? All that matters is I am saved by the grace of God, through His son, Jesus Christ. I am 65 years old and was saved at 19 years of age and I like to say that I am in the "slow group". Looking back on my life (as the old saying goes), I am not where I should be but I am no longer where I was. Nothing else really matters.

 

[Bob Crowley]

A few weeks ago our priest made a comment in his homily that "God isn't so much interested in our ability as our availability."

You would have some gifts. Find out what they are and start to use them.

I'd have three other suggestions -

1. Find a local charity you can get involved in, whether it is related to your own church or not. Helping others helps us to forget ourselves.

2. Volunteer for something in your local church, even if it means eating humble pie for a while eg. kid's club, the cleaning roster, the kitchen after the service handing out the coffee mugs, handing out the newsletters at the door. Something simple. Gradually make your presence known.

3. I'd suggest you join Toastmasters, which is an organisation which helps people to become better public speakers. When people do their first speech, which used to be called the "Icebreaker", they would usually talk about themselves (for 4 to 6 minutes). Some people had an extreme fear of public speaking, or low self esteem, etc. Yet in time, some of those same fearful people have become brilliant speakers.

It's a great confidence booster, but you have to take the first step. There's bound to be a Toastmasters Club near you.

https://www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club

 

[mama2one]

My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?

when your age, I was very shy and quiet, also
it wasn't until after getting married that I started to learn about myself more as a person, develop interests, volunteer more, etc

years of being quiet & shy are good years
you learn to watch others and listen
you become more attuned to people

as you become more comfortable with yourself, you will learn to accept yourself & realize what you perceive as negatives can be your strengths

you may still be an introvert as I still am
you may learn that you're good at working one-on-one with people OR you're the person someone confides in because you're quiet & will keep their confidence

 

[createdtoworship]

I never really liked myself as an individual. I have always been really shy and never had much of a personality or opinions on any matter. I realized that I don't know a lot about anything or have any passions. I never feel like I have a presence anywhere, I just merely exist. There isn't anything I am really known for, I am not charismatic, talented, smart etc. This also hasn't helped me make friends so I have always been a loner. I also don't think I can make a change as a Christian because I don't have anything to offer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason, however, it hurts being so unremarkable. My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?

My daughter does not makes friends easily. She sits alone in church and is painfully shy. However I downloaded this book the other day and wanted to post a section from it...it's called "how to make friends fast" by june hunt. BTW I don't have many friends myself, I am sort of an internet nerd. I would rather spend my time on forums, tweeting and being on social media, listening to worship music, etc, than having friends in the real world. You just have to find your niche.

"
Make the First Move


First and foremost, you have to stop being shy and you have to know how to make the first move!

More often than not, a lot of friendships aren’t formed because people are so scared to actually put their foot forward and give some attention to a person or to the people around them. There are times when you yourself feel like this person beside you seems nice, and that you could be friends, but none of you are talking to each other! Why?

Remember, you’re both shy. You both aren’t sure about each other, but you shouldn’t let yourselves be limited by those thoughts. As long as one of you learns to make the first move, things will flow on easily!

Don’t let that potential friendship go to waste. Here are a few good ways to make the first move:

1. Say something right away. You know what? You don’t actually have to be so formal and introduce yourself in such a way that it feels like you’re introducing yourself at school or something. Just say something like, “Have you seen the big game last night?”, or “I swear, the Oscars Best Picture should’ve been something else”, and the like. This way, you get to start the conversation and the person you want to be friends with won’t feel so shy around you anymore!

2. Then, introduce yourself. Of course, you don’t have to be like “I’m Ann, I’m 27, I took up literature, blah blah blah…” That would be so unnecessary and so unnatural, and of course, that’s not good for your potential friend to hear. Just be as natural as possible. Say, “I’m Ann, by the way.” And surely, he or she will introduce him/herself, too.

3. Start conversing! Now, you can go and start a conversation, and if you’re lucky, you’d be talking for a while and won’t get bored with each other. In the next chapter, you’ll learn how to make sure that your conversations won’t ever be boring and that you can form a good bond already!

4. Smile and be positive. As they say, when you smile, it’ll be so easy for others to smile back at you. When you smile, it’s like, you’re opening yourself up to others and you’re letting them know that they can talk to you and you’re not going to bite. Having a positive aura will make the person you want to be friends feel that he can trust you and that you’re someone who’s fun to be with—and that’s exactly what you want to happen.

5. And, remember that you can always start with your “crowd”. The easiest way to make friends is by getting to know people with the same interests as you are. It’s easy to know who these people are especially if you’re at work or at the office, but you can also try joining groups such as book clubs, committees, charitable groups, or even online forums to find people who are in the same wavelength as you are. This way, you’d know that you actually have something to talk about and you won’t instantly be annoyed at each other. Then, you could go on from there.

"

if you want to read the next section on how to make conversations not be boring, check out the rest of the small book:

https://www.amazon.com/How-Make-Friends-Fast-Relationships-ebook/dp/B015I2FBCG

 

[A_Thinker]

years of being quiet & shy are good years
you learn to watch others and listen
you become more attuned to people

as you become more comfortable with yourself, you will learn to accept yourself & realize what you perceive as negatives can be your strengths

you may still be an introvert as I still am
you may learn that you're good at working one-on-one with people OR you're the person someone confides in because you're quiet & will keep their confidence

As a fellow introvert (60 years old), I have found that his is all true.

Extroverts are particularly good at entertaining numbers of people.

Introverts are particularly good at developing intimate and close friendships.

People tell me I'm a particularly good listener ... and a great friend ...