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Featured Should I accept who I am or pray for a change?

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by SK_Brace, Jan 11, 2020.

  1. SK_Brace

    SK_Brace New Member

    12
    +10
    Canada
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    Single
    I never really liked myself as an individual. I have always been really shy and never had much of a personality or opinions on any matter. I realized that I don't know a lot about anything or have any passions. I never feel like I have a presence anywhere, I just merely exist. There isn't anything I am really known for, I am not charismatic, talented, smart etc. This also hasn't helped me make friends so I have always been a loner. I also don't think I can make a change as a Christian because I don't have anything to offer. I know that God made me who I am for a reason, however, it hurts being so unremarkable. My question is can God change me or do I just have to accept myself?
     
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  2. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

    +4,032
    New Zealand
    Christian
    Married
    Many of us are not what He created us to be.

    There can be hurts and fears that limit us from stepping into what He has for us.

    We can be limited by what we think others think of us and this can be purely imagination.

    What I suggest is a study on how God views you.

    Then if you choose to agree with Him, your attitude to yourself will change.

    We are greatly loved by God, He is jealous over us, we are His prized possession.

    We are all uniquely created for a specific calling and service.

    You don't need to have anything to offer - He is wanting to work through you if you will surrender to Him.

    It is a Love relationship that will bring healing and fulfilment.
     
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  3. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +4,104
    United States
    Charismatic
    Married
    US-Others
    Hello & welcome @SK_Brace .

    God's first commandment to you (and to ALL of His people) is to love Him with all of
    • your mind,
    • your strength,
    • your heart &
    • your soul.
    If you will do that, you will begin to grasp His Love for you, and it will counter your current low opinion of yourself.

    (If you have depression, treat that, too.)
     
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  4. look4hope

    look4hope Love.Fellowship.Joy Supporter

    +1,417
    Lutheran
    Private
    Not easy accepting something or the many things we don’t like ‘bout ourselves. there will always be a long list. However, we have no other choice. We gotta work with what we’ve been blessed with.

    I have that shyness problem. There was a turning point when I said F that. I can’t let it rule me.
     
  5. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

    +8,546
    New Zealand
    Pentecostal
    Married
    In 1969, at the age of 20, I asked the Lord to transform me into the person He wants me to be. Now, at the age of 72, I am overweight, bald, have a stupid sense of humour, and very opinionated concerning theological issues. So I don't know how much progress was made over the years.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2020
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  6. Goodhuman

    Goodhuman Active Member

    429
    +168
    Croatia
    Christian
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    Human can't be changed without being born again.
     
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  7. tturt

    tturt Senior Veteran Supporter

    +4,283
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Might want to spend some time thinking about each one of these scriptures

    God formed you:
    -“For You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb” Psa 139:13

    He gives you life each day plus that breath you are taking right now - it's from Him:
    -“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psa 118:24)
    -“The spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life.” Job 33:4
    "I will put ligaments on you, place muscles on you, and cover you with skin. I will put breath in you, and you will live. Then you will know that I am Yahweh." Eze 37:6

    He has a plan for each one:
    -“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jer 29:11
    -“And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose,” Rom 8:28

    He knows everything about you - He's interested!
    "But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows." Luk 12;7
    God knows when we are awake and asleep, thinks about us (Psa 139), and knows what we say such as Matt 12:36.

    God isn't tolerating you You are important
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2020
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  8. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

    +4,032
    New Zealand
    Christian
    Married
    Hey... don't be hard on yourself - it was great meeting you !!!
     
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  9. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

    +8,546
    New Zealand
    Pentecostal
    Married
    The feeling is mutual!
     
  10. rocknanchor

    rocknanchor How the Lord Hears You - James 4:3 Supporter

    +5,623
    Non-Denom
    Married
    US-Constitution
    With a lineup of supporters as seen here, you and I share that same feeling. Except, there was a time when I couldn't have constructed such an opener as you did in the OP (original post). I lived and breathed rejection till my life "almost" rejected me.

    But like some of the comments here, you see, God knows us through and through...from the current struggle He sees you presently in to the unbelievable heights just up the road, here and there, He made you and knows the deepest intricacies of our hearts no human will ever know, including ourselves, but is fully capable to bring to pass.

    So when heartache and substantial difficulties plague our every waking hour, whom please note, the bible declares amongst suffering mankind, is a common condition, with patience as well as confidence, these two in very small portions is enough to bring to pass heaven on earth in Jesus.

    Build your character in this one Lord!
     
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  11. pdudgeon

    pdudgeon Traditional Catholic Supporter

    +10,581
    United States
    Catholic
    Widowed
    US-Republican
    Don't ever judge yourself by what you see out there in the World.
    Rest assured, what is out there is not what God wants for you.

    Instead, turn your focus on the heart of God; especially on the story of Creation.
    See how careful He was, how He progressed from the beginning in creating a difference between Light and Dark, Day and Night. Look at how everything that He created was perfect and innately good.

    And then look at yourself. See the gentleness of God in your shyness. See your reticence as being God's patience in waiting to be sought out.

    If you focus on, and study the characteristics of God, you could find and develop qualities that are similar to His in your own character.

    Don't follow the World. There is no peace or satisfaction to be found in doing so.
     
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  12. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

    +6,584
    Christian
    Married
    Everybody has a niche (i.e. somewhere that they can shine).

    It's just a matter of finding it.

    So ... you start with your inclinations ... and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of them. Some of the most successful people are those that became known for doing something that noone else thought to be valuable.

    I'll give an example. For the last 15 years or so, I've made muffins (from various Betty Crocker mixes) for our church's Sunday School attendees. It's gotten to the point that I am called the "muffin man" ... and people express to me that they really miss it when I am not able to bring muffins.

    But, more than that, every one of the members of my church KNOWS that I love them ... because I am willing to make muffins for them every Sunday.

    Certainly making muffins isn't remarkable ... anyone could do it. But it touches the hearts of people.

    Another way I've set upon to touch people ... is to make it a point to smile at them when we meet. It doesn't have to be someone I know. I jut know that, often, when I am down, someone's smile at me will, generally, lift my spirits.

    I try and do things that I believe will lift the spirits of people that I encounter. Sometimes it's just a matter of asking them how they are doing ... or paying a bit of attention to them if they are being left alone in a gathering.

    There are lots of things that we can do for one another. And most of them are not spectacular. But when you think about it, ... none of the ingredients in a cake is particularly spectacular, in itself. Not the flour, or the milk, the sugar, the eggs, the butter, the flavoring. But put them together ... and you can have something spectacular ... and each of those ingredients is absolutely necessary to make that cake.

    The key is to find your own God-given ways ... to make a positive difference in the lives of those around you. Everybody's not a soloist ... but an prestigious musical director once told me ... that every voice in his choirs ... added something to the quality of the singing.

    You've got to get out there ... and get involved. To some extent, ... that's what churches are there for ... to give you opportunities to use your God-given gifts to make a difference in the lives of others.

    I have a son ... who, like you, yearns to be seen as significant. But he doesn't yet understand, or perhaps is just learning, that you can't really be significant ... unless you are willing to invest in the lives of others. Nothing else really matters.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2020
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  13. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +4,104
    United States
    Charismatic
    Married
    US-Others
    Servant of All
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2020
  14. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

    +10,643
    United States
    Calvinist
    Married
    US-Republican
    We all need to examine ourselves, change and repent daily. Sometimes it's rough but, we keep praying for God's help.
    M-Bob
     
  15. Richard Mulcahy

    Richard Mulcahy Active Member

    229
    +197
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Single
    UK-Conservative
    You are amazing!

     
  16. Andrewn

    Andrewn Well-Known Member CF Ambassadors Supporter

    +1,385
    Canada
    Anglican
    Married
    Welcome in the Christian Forums. You already received good answers. All I'm going to recommend is that you stop thinking and saying negative things about yourself. You have great advantages that most people in the world don't have. You're saved by grace. You have eternal life. God is really fond of you. You're daughter of the King.

    God bless you.
     
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  17. Greengardener

    Greengardener for love is of God Supporter

    488
    +458
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    I feel with you, friend, and the people who have written have added good words here. We aren't many impressive, many amazing. We're just us, and God is at work in us. Jump on in, the water's fine! The only thing I can add is that as you study who God is, draw closer and keep hard after Him. Persevere, keep on asking, keep on seeking HIM. Like Lot's wife, don't look back, but keep learning what God is like and keep doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him. You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself. I look forward to watching you grow in grace and in the knowledge of Jesus Christ Who loves you!
     
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  18. tturt

    tturt Senior Veteran Supporter

    +4,283
    Non-Denom
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    Like the suggestion about studying God's names, titles, and attributes Can be goggled. Personally select the ones with Scriptures so I can check it out.
     
  19. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    +6,470
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Republican
    The answer is, yes and no.

    Yes, God dealt you a certain hand, so to speak. Your strengths and your quirks should be embraced.

    No, because you are meant to grow. When you were a baby, you couldn't talk, you couldn't do a whole lot with your hands, and you had to use a diaper. Your parents cared for you and trained you, and you grew into a much more capable person than that. And God would have you continue to grow into the best version of you, with character that has grown to resemble Christ's.
     
  20. AWorkInProgress

    AWorkInProgress A fool becoming wise

    +212
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    US-Others
    Hello SK_Brace,

    The short answer is God can change you. I read your post and it reminds me of my own walk and problems. I can tell someone has deceived you into thinking you don't matter, which is an utter lie from the pit of hell. Many nights I wanted in my frustration to toss myself into the trash can, and in my mind's eye. The Lord would take the concept of what he made to me be and take it out of the trash can. And he told me that I just didn't understand what he created.

    You are a work of the Almighty, and he didn't make a mistake with what he made of you. It will take time and seasons, letting the Lord reveal the deceit that was spoken over you. To let His Holy Spirit guide you into the truth and much-needed healing of your soul. You are a very interesting person, passion does live in your heart, and there are people on this earth that needs a person like you in their lives. As you need them.

    This journey will require three things; be humble like a child, a fire to fight, and access to the truth. This is not a journey you do one your own(strength/knowledge), but one you walk alone with God himself in his way he talks with you.

    The Lord knows you and how to speak to you. When I started my walk, my parents were a blessing to me equipping me with NLT bible with Life Application. My reading comprehension was low, so it worked and it gave me details I hungered for. My Dad walked up to me and he gave me a scripture that was the foundation of my recovery. (2 Chronicles 7:14) It was exactly what my troubleshooter mind required, a troubleshooting method to follow. The Lord will help equip you too and speak to you on your own level with him. Be open to it.

    I will pray that you see the lies that are forcing you to drown. That you begin the journey to discover the joy of what God made you to be!
     
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