You have not explained these verses, you have explained them away.
Your Lk. 9 and 14 quotes are good quotes but they do not better your position. in Lk. 9 Jesus is throwing down the gauntlet for all those who would profess to be followers of His. If you intend on saving your own life then you disqualify yourself. It cannot be denied that Jesus uses very expressive language to get His point across; He forces you to make a choice or an excuse. Lk. 14 He does the same thing, He expresses Himself without qualification, His meaning is clear. Only those who want to qualify and manipulate His words have problems. If you choose to save your life by the use of weapons then you will loose your life; and if you put your family above obedience to Jesus you have made a bad choice. If you decide to listen to theologians and commentaries rather than taking these words at face value the again, you have made a bad choice.
If your wife is working for a law firm that enters into judgment against the enemies of society then she needs to find another job. To work for a politician, judge, lawyer, military, or to sit on a jury are all against the very things that Jesus came to separate His people from. If you deliberately work for and support these things then you have turned your back on the truth. The world does these things because they are of the world, I pray that your eyes will be opened.
The guard you mention if he claims to be a Christian was doing an un-Christian thing. The problem is that Christians do not get the proper education, they simply follow their leaders who have mostly been trained in institutions of higher learning that promote and support worldly things: patriotism, voting, military, the court system, which are of the world. These things were not sanctioned by Christ, His Apostles, or the Church for the first 300 years. Only with Constantine and the Augustine, and 1300 years of Catholic darkness has Christian doctrine been changed and promoted by Luther, Zwingli, and Calvin, all three were murderers just as much as the Catholic Church. The New Testament says for a reason that the end times would be highlighted by the fact that good would become evil and evil good, and it has come to past. By my promotion of a simple truth that Christians are called to peace and nonviolence will be enough in a future time to earn me death. The vast majority of past persecution has been toward those who practiced nonviolence, and it came at the hands of the Church both Protestant and Catholic.
“Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience. Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority.”
Romans 13:1-7
Paul was a Pharisee and yet he was chosen by Jesus to be His disciple.
“When Jesus returned to Capernaum, a Roman officer came and pleaded with him, “Lord, my young servant lies in bed, paralyzed and in terrible pain.” Jesus said, “I will come and heal him.” But the officer said, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you come into my home. Just say the word from where you are, and my servant will be healed. I know this because I am under the authority of my superior officers, and I have authority over my soldiers. I only need to say, ‘Go,’ and they go, or ‘Come,’ and they come. And if I say to my slaves, ‘Do this,’ they do it.” When Jesus heard this, he was amazed. Turning to those who were following him, he said, “I tell you the truth, I haven’t seen faith like this in all Israel!”
Matthew 8:5-10
“They said, “We were sent by Cornelius, a Roman officer. He is a devout and God-fearing man, well respected by all the Jews. A holy angel instructed him to summon you to his house so that he can hear your message.” So Peter invited the men to stay for the night. The next day he went with them, accompanied by some of the brothers from Joppa. They arrived in Caesarea the following day. Cornelius was waiting for them and had called together his relatives and close friends. As Peter entered his home, Cornelius fell at his feet and worshiped him. But Peter pulled him up and said, “Stand up! I’m a human being just like you!” So they talked together and went inside, where many others were assembled. Peter told them, “You know it is against our laws for a Jewish man to enter a Gentile home like this or to associate with you. But God has shown me that I should no longer think of anyone as impure or unclean. So I came without objection as soon as I was sent for. Now tell me why you sent for me.” Cornelius replied, “Four days ago I was praying in my house about this same time, three o’clock in the afternoon. Suddenly, a man in dazzling clothes was standing in front of me. He told me, ‘Cornelius, your prayer has been heard, and your gifts to the poor have been noticed by God! Now send messengers to Joppa, and summon a man named Simon Peter. He is staying in the home of Simon, a tanner who lives near the seashore.’ So I sent for you at once, and it was good of you to come. Now we are all here, waiting before God to hear the message the Lord has given you.” Then Peter replied, “I see very clearly that God shows no favoritism. In every nation he accepts those who fear him and do what is right. This is the message of Good News for the people of Israel—that there is peace with God through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all. You know what happened throughout Judea, beginning in Galilee, after John began preaching his message of baptism. And you know that God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power. Then Jesus went around doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with him. “And we apostles are witnesses of all he did throughout Judea and in Jerusalem. They put him to death by hanging him on a cross, but God raised him to life on the third day. Then God allowed him to appear, not to the general public, but to us whom God had chosen in advance to be his witnesses. We were those who ate and drank with him after he rose from the dead. And he ordered us to preach everywhere and to testify that Jesus is the one appointed by God to be the judge of all—the living and the dead. He is the one all the prophets testified about, saying that everyone who believes in him will have their sins forgiven through his name.” Even as Peter was saying these things, the Holy Spirit fell upon all who were listening to the message. The Jewish believers who came with Peter were amazed that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out on the Gentiles, too. For they heard them speaking in other tongues and praising God. Then Peter asked, “Can anyone object to their being baptized, now that they have received the Holy Spirit just as we did?” So he gave orders for them to be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. Afterward Cornelius asked him to stay with them for several days.”
Acts of the Apostles 10:22-48