Can I Wear a White Wedding Dress if I'm Not a Virgin?

[BaptizedbytheHolySpirit]

Ok, this question has probably come up at one time or another, but should a Christian bride, be able to wear white regardless of if she is a virgin or not? In the Church white has always stood for two things. Joy and Purity. Purity is truly not gained on our own but by the grace of God, and the grace of God causes joy as we take part in all things willed by God including Christian marriage.

In 2 Corinthians 5:17 It says "Behold whoever is in Christ is a new creation the old has gone the new has come!" So, it is obvious regardless of any sin committed that purity can be restored. In my boyfriend's Pentecostal church it is rumored anyone who is found not to be a virgin is not allowed to wear white in her wedding ceremony. She must wear a pale pink or some other color.

Is it really fair to make one person's sin public though and another's not, if that person has repented and has been made pure by Christ again? Jesus Christ tells us he makes all things new, and if something is made new again through Christ it is once again pure.

Now, my boyfriend has got me heavily involved in his Pentecostal church and we honestly feel that regardless of him being younger (which has also been an issue) God has sent us to one another and we will one day be married and missionaries together. I made a mistake though in my past that I regret. That has caused me to almost kill myself but I knew I couldn't as a Christian woman.

I had sex outside of marriage before I was with him but I repented and didn't continue. It doesn't bother him though he's a virgin and he sees me as pure again. Still, I have trouble forgiving myself. What is your take? Also, we are not even kissing until we are married, which will be years from now, but we are waiting for even kissing until marriage. Our first kiss will of course be on our wedding day.

 

[immersedingrace]

Ok, this question has probably come up at one time or another, but should a Christian bride, be able to wear white regardless of if she is a virgin or not? In the Church white has always stood for two things. Joy and Purity. Purity is truly not gained on our own but by the grace of God, and the grace of God causes joy as we take part in all things willed by God including Christian marriage.

In 2 Corinthians 5:12 It says "Behold whoever is in Christ is a new creation the old has gone the new has come!" So, it is obvious regardless of any sin committed that purity can be restored. In my boyfriend's Pentecostal church it is rumored anyone who is found not to be a virgin is not allowed to wear white in her wedding ceremony. She must wear a pale pink or some other color.

Is it really fair to make one person's sin public though and another's not, if that person has repented and has been made pure by Christ again? Jesus Christ tells us he makes all things new, and if something is made new again through Christ it is once again pure.

Now, my boyfriend has got me heavily involved in his Pentecostal church and we honestly feel that regardless of him being younger (which has also been an issue) God has sent us to one another and we will one day be married and missionaries together. I made a mistake though in my past that I regret. That has caused me to almost kill myself but I knew I couldn't as a Christian woman.

I had sex outside of marriage before I was with him but I repented and didn't continue. It doesn't bother him though he's a virgin and he sees me as pure again. Still, I have trouble forgiving myself. What is your take? Also, we are not even kissing until we are married, which will be years from now, but we are waiting for even kissing until marriage. Our first kiss will of course be on our wedding day.

I don't think it's anyone's business but the bride's and the groom's on what color her gown is. If he doesn't care, then she should be able to wear what she wants. If you have a child or have been married before, you will most likely hear people talking but IMO, it doesn't matter! Personally, If my hubby died before me and I got remarried, I wouldn't wear white, but then again, I wouldn't have a bit wedding. Wear what you want. I teased hubby about my wearing a tux and he wearing the gown....now THAT would have caused talk

 

[Lisa0315]

It is under the blood, sister.

I will tell you a lesson that I am still trying to learn though. Sometimes, I still don't feel forgiven for things and you know what I realized? It is the sin of pride that I do not believe that God has done what He promised to do. Somehow, I have at moments convinced myself that my sin was greater than God's forgiveness.

So, are you forgiven? If so, purpose in your heart that you will believe it and not have pride that your sin is greater than God's promise.

Hope this helps.

Lisa

 

[BaptizedbytheHolySpirit]

No, I don't have any children and I have never been married before. I don't believe in divorce and I would be bound to him till death do us part. I am a Christian woman, just one that made a mistake in her past, I wish I had a time machine but I don't so, all I can do now is prove the power of the body and blood of Jesus Christ and show that virginity can be restored spritually, if we allow Christ to work his will in our lives.

 

[Autumnleaf]

No. A woman who had sex before marriage is not a virgin and is therefore not as pure as the wind driven snow. She can wear whatever is fashionable but she should not wear white.

 

[tigercub]

(answering the topic question directly)

Yes. Who are we to judge whether or not any particular person should wear white on their wedding day? No one else really knows what has happened in someone's life, or where they stand with god now (except the person themselves, and god) Therefore unless that person brings us into their confidence, it's none of our business

As a side note; where in the Bible does it say that only virgins can wear white on their wedding day? Or even that anyone should or shouldn't? The whole 'white wedding dress' thing is not of god, it's pretty much completely something that western society tells us! Should Christians really be placing any importance on it?

In Chinese weddings, white is unlucky (they wear red) there's a point to ponder

 

[mina]

It's a man made tradition and doesn't have to mean "virginity". It can mean purity of heart. I'm sure the bride and groom have talked about their pasts with each other (at least i'd hope so- openly and honestly) and the groom shouldn't be basing her "virginity" on what color the dress is.

 

[BaptizedbytheHolySpirit]

No. A woman who had sex before marriage is not a virgin and is therefore not as pure as the wind driven snow. She can wear whatever is fashionable but she should not wear white.

Are u serious or are you being sarcastic?

 

[Adamantium]

In 2 Corinthians 5:12 It says "Behold whoever is in Christ is a new creation the old has gone the new has come!" So, it is obvious regardless of any sin committed that purity can be restored. In my boyfriend's Pentecostal church it is rumored anyone who is found not to be a virgin is not allowed to wear white in her wedding ceremony. She must wear a pale pink or some other color.

Rumors? That doesn't sound very Christian to me.

I think this is the business of the bride and groom and God--no one else. And I think the bride should wear whatever she wants on her wedding day.

 

[Adamantium]

Are u serious or are you being sarcastic?

Ignore him. He has a habit of making cruel and misogynist statements.

 

[GrannieAnnie]

I always believed that only virgins should wear white.....however I think anything goes these days. I also thought that only first time brides should wear a full wedding dress. When my mum married back in 1939 her cousin loaned her a dress that was a very beautiful pale blue, it was in the full tradition of a long bridal dress. My sister was married in white and the first time I got married, I had the top part of my dress in the palest of pink....just so all the women in our family had...blue, white and pink....I thought it was nice. When I married the second time, I wore an apricot cocktail short dress and a hat.

 

[Mskedi]

I think the white actually meaning something has been long since over.

I do know some churches that require a cream color or non-white color for non-virgins. Honestly, I find that incredibly unfair. What about the men? Do they have to wear polka-dotted suits, then?

Sheesh. It's all silly. So long as you are honest with your fiance, what business is it to the rest of the world?

 

[GrannieAnnie]

I think the white actually meaning something has been long since over.

I do know some churches that require a cream color or non-white color for non-virgins. Honestly, I find that incredibly unfair. What about the men? Do they have to wear polka-dotted suits, then?

Sheesh. It's all silly. So long as you are honest with your fiance, what business is it to the rest of the world?

A church requires an ....off white....for non virgins.....I can't believe it. What a total invasion of privacy. My daughters skin looked yukky in white, so she wore a pearly colour....and it's no ones business if she was a virgin or not..... I think some churches and Christian rules are just totally over the top and wrong.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I think telling a bride what color she can or can't wear is ridiculous and legalistic

As for the virginity issue, if you have repented, God has made you pure!!

 

[immersedingrace]

I missed the part about it being rumored that non-virgins are required to wear some other color. How do they know you're a virgin or not? If someone asked me that question, I'd have, and did, tell them it was none of their business. From that, they could have erroneously determined that meant I wasn't, but what did I care. If a church requires such a thing, which I've never heard of, I'd be finding another church, at least to get married in. It's not something that is even remotely biblical. I'm all for churches upholding BIBLICAL truths and standards, but bride's wearing white is not one of them.

 

[Assisi]

I repented and didn't continue. Still, I have trouble forgiving myself. What is your take?

I think you need to pray about this part of your post. It is reasonable for us to feel the weight of our own sins, it is good to praise God for His mercy. BUT, once we go to confession, repent of our sins and God forgives us - we need to trust in God's faithfulness and we should know we are forgiven. Ask God to help you trust in His mercy, and ask God to help you forgive yourself. The sins we commit in our lives do hurt us, but they offend God and that is the more important part. If God can forgive you, who are you to hold back your forgiveness.

About wearing white. A good friend of mine did not wear white at her wedding because she was not a virgin, they had a child so this was somewhat public knowledge and she felt that it would be hypocritical of her to wear white. Through this and several other things she has done in her life she has really gained my respect. But I don't believe that she had to wear something other than white.

Remember that the white of the bride is also drawn from Revelation 19. The Bride, the Church, is arrayed in white which is the good deeds of the saints. And in Ephesians 5 we read about how the love of husband and wife is a sign of the love of Christ and his Church. I think wearing white uses this imagery to remind you, your husband, and your guests of the high standards you intend to live up to as husband and wife. It also reminds us that marriage on earth is a sign for our future life in heaven when we will all partake in the 'wedding feast of the Lamb'. This is part of why it was so important to me to have communion at my wedding.

But most important of all: remember, you are forgiven.

Remember what the priest prayed over you when you asked God for forgiveness:

God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

 

[progressivegal]

You should wear whatever you want on your wedding day
The only time anyone might EVER say anything (and it would still be totally inappropriate for anyone to say anything in any circumstance) would be if the bride was married before and/or had children.
Most women still wear white in these situations because it's traditional or because they like the dress, and there's NOTHING wrong with that. The white wedding dress thing started because Queen Victoria had one and made them popular. It's tradition, the whole "white wedding dress=virginity" didn't start until later I don't think. And really it's ridiculous. Most women are not virgins on their wedding day. Most women wear white. I wasn't, I wore white, I didn't give it a second thought and neither should you when you get married.

 

[revrobor]

No. A woman who had sex before marriage is not a virgin and is therefore not as pure as the wind driven snow. She can wear whatever is fashionable but she should not wear white.

Good grief! Where does that "logic" come from. There is no Scripture, law, rule, requirement or anything but tradition that dictates a virgin bride's gown should be white. Any bride, regardless of her past, may where white is she chooses and neither you nor anyone else has the right to tell her she can't.

 

[moonkitty]

I think the bride should wear whatever color she wants. heck, she can wear a clown suit for all I care. If you're not paying for the wedding then you can complain about it.

 

[immersedingrace]

I think the bride should wear whatever color she wants. heck, she can wear a clown suit for all I care. If you're not paying for the wedding then you can complain about it.

Now, THAT is something I would love to see!