Should a Christian marry a fornicator

[Conker]

So I'm just wondering what you all think.

So let's say you start to date someone and you're a virgin, but you find out they're not. A few years pass and you think about marriage.
Would you marry her/him if:

A) (S)he is a true convert, and lives in holiness.

B) (S)he's a false convert, but of 'relatively' good character.

 

[faroukfarouk]

So I'm just wondering what you all think.

So let's say you start to date someone and you're a virgin, but you find out they're not. A few years pass and you think about marriage.
Would you marry her if:

A) She is a true convert, and lives in holiness.

B) She's a false convert, but of 'relatively' good character.

Here's a good verse:

"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3.3)

 

[~Anastasia~]

So I'm just wondering what you all think.

So let's say you start to date someone and you're a virgin, but you find out they're not. A few years pass and you think about marriage.
Would you marry her if:

A) She is a true convert, and lives in holiness.

B) She's a false convert, but of 'relatively' good character.

All have sinned. It is up to a person's own convictions if they can overlook that particular sin in the life of one they wish to marry, but I would caution that to hold it against someone as unforgivable betrays possibly a prideful and/or unforgiving person.

If someone is a true convert, God has forgiven them. If we hold a sin against them, we put ourselves above God.

Someone who does not really follow God but just "tries to be good" can be any sort of person at all. I have known some highly moral and ethical people who were very prideful in their morality, and the fact that they achieved it "without God". THAT is a very dangerous mindset. We cannot really know another person's heart, but I would always encourage believers to ONLY marry other believers.

But past sins are not really a factor.

 

[Phil 1:21]

So I'm just wondering what you all think.

So let's say you start to date someone and you're a virgin, but you find out they're not. A few years pass and you think about marriage.
Would you marry her if:

A) She is a true convert, and lives in holiness.

B) She's a false convert, but of 'relatively' good character.

Which one of your previous sins should she judge you unworthy for?

 

[stuart lawrence]

So I'm just wondering what you all think.

So let's say you start to date someone and you're a virgin, but you find out they're not. A few years pass and you think about marriage.
Would you marry her if:

A) She is a true convert, and lives in holiness.

B) She's a false convert, but of 'relatively' good character.

A definitely

 

[Shempster]

Should a woman marry a man who secretly commits fornication with women only in his mind?

 

[Conker]

All have sinned. It is up to a person's own convictions if they can overlook that particular sin in the life of one they wish to marry, but I would caution that to hold it against someone as unforgivable betrays possibly a prideful and/or unforgiving person.

If someone is a true convert, God has forgiven them. If we hold a sin against them, we put ourselves above God.

Someone who does not really follow God but just "tries to be good" can be any sort of person at all. I have known some highly moral and ethical people who were very prideful in their morality, and the fact that they achieved it "without God". THAT is a very dangerous mindset. We cannot really know another person's heart, but I would always encourage believers to ONLY marry other believers.

But past sins are not really a factor.

I totally agree.

One thing does seem very weird to me though (Not to say you shouldn't marry them). The part about putting your genitals where someone else has been. Seems kinda gross.

Maybe I need to reconsider my standing, and see if I need to do some humbling...

 

[SkyWriting]

So let's say you start to date someone and you're a virgin, but you find out they're not. A few years pass and you think about marriage.
Would you marry her/him if:
A) (S)he is a true convert, and lives in holiness.
B) (S)he's a false convert, but of 'relatively' good character.

Hold on there! Wait a ten more years before thinking about marriage.
Don't rush into things.

 

[stuart lawrence]

I totally agree.

One thing does seem very weird to me though (Not to say you shouldn't marry them). The part about putting your genitals where someone else has been. Seems kinda gross.

Maybe I need to reconsider my standing, and see if I need to do some humbling...

I was raised by parents who always considered the first man a woman slept with, was the man she gave something to that could not in the future be equalled by sleeping with anyone else.
And your point above is a natural thought.
It depends on the man himself, as to whether he could happily marry a Christian woman who isn't a virgin, but he is.
Some men may fret they may not gratify their partner in marriage as any previous partner did, they may feel insecure in this regard, others may not.
How much does sex mean to the women? Is it overriding? Everyone is different. If it is overriding, may she compare her husband to any previous partner?
These issues need to be clear in your mind and settled before you marry. There is absolutely nothing wrong in marrying a Christian woman who us not a virgin. But don't do so until all the negative thoughts are faced and settled by you. Don't leave them to be settled once you are married

 

[-Luca]

Here's a good verse:

"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3.3)

Sorry, what does this mean?

 

[Conker]

Hold on there! Wait a ten more years before thinking about marriage.
Don't rush into things.

Lol, Im too young. I won't do anything foolish. Thanks for the concern

 

[Conker]

I was raised by parents who always considered the first man a woman slept with, was the man she gave something to that could not in the future be equalled by sleeping with anyone else.
And your point above is a natural thought.
It depends on the man himself, as to whether he could happily marry a Christian woman who isn't a virgin, but he is.
Some men may fret they may not gratify their partner in marriage as any previous partner did, they may feel insecure in this regard, others may not.
How much does sex mean to the women? Is it overriding? Everyone is different. If it is overriding, may she compare her husband to any previous partner?
These issues need to be clear in your mind and settled before you marry. There is absolutely nothing wrong in marrying a Christian woman who us not a virgin. But don't do so until all the negative thoughts are faced and settled by you. Don't leave them to be settled once you are married

Oooh, that was some good stuff. Thank you.

 

[SkyWriting]

Lol, Im too young. I won't do anything foolish. Thanks for the concern

I proposed to my wife 10 days after we met. She is not an admitted Christian
but she follows what the Holy Spirit has taught her about how to treat people.
And she had been married before.

 

[Conker]

I proposed to my wife 10 days after we met. She is not an admitted Christian
but she follows what the Holy Spirit has taught her about how to treat people.
And she had been married before.

Wow, thats early.

So she has not repented her sins, and put her faith in Jesus Christ yet? But believes in the principles of the O.T.?

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Wow, thats early.

So she has not repented her sins, and put her faith in Jesus Christ yet? But believes in the principles of the O.T.?

That would not no different to the 120 who received the Holy Spirit on the Day of Pentecost. Most of the Christian believers of the First Century AD, which, incidently, was the most powerful episode of the Early Church, used the Old Testament as their scriptural foundation. Jesus had pointed out to them all the O.T. scriptures that referred to Him, so a person can have faith in Christ and be saved while relying just on the Old Testament.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

So I'm just wondering what you all think.

So let's say you start to date someone and you're a virgin, but you find out they're not. A few years pass and you think about marriage.
Would you marry her/him if:

A) (S)he is a true convert, and lives in holiness.

B) (S)he's a false convert, but of 'relatively' good character.

Marriage is one of the most important steps in a person's life. It can determine a person's future. But to determine whether to marry someone on the basis of their past sins is not really supported by the New Testament. "Forgetting those things that are behind, we press forward to the mark of the high calling of God in Christ."'

I think that it would be difficult to distinguish between and true and false convert. If a person has taken the steps of faith, we have to give them the benefit of the doubt and treat them as true converts until they show their true colours. The true colours emerge when their faith is tested by circumstances or persecution.

Fornication is just one of many sins. Jealousy, envy, gossiping, lying, unbelief and pride are just as bad and these are rife in today's churches, and yet unfortunate souls are heavily judged and punished for sleeping around while those who commit the other sins are left unpunished and often promoted to leadership positions in the church.

I think the crucial question has to be: Can I live with this person for the rest of my life?" A prospective partner could be the truest convert and the most holy person, but he or she might be a perfectionist and it may emerge that they may end up very unhappy in a marriage if the partner does not come up to those perfectionist ideals. Therefore the perfectionist could have a critical spirit and that is just as bad as any other. What about a root of bitterness? A lot of judgmental church goers are that way because of something negative that has happened in their past lives and they are still bitter about it and so that bitterness comes out in accusations and judgmental comments about others who remind them of the person or persons who have hurt or disappointed in the past. And what what the spiritual abusers and bullies in our churches? Is that just as bad as all the other sins? And yet the church is also rife with such people, and unfortunately they are pastors, ministers and leaders. And also a controlling spirit is also a sin, and get so many pastors and leaders get away with that one as well. So, someone who might have had some sexual partners in the past might seem like an innocent Sunday School teacher in comparison with some of the other less prominent sinners in our churches.

Doesn't the book of Proverbs say that it is better to live in a small attic room than to have to live with a nagging, controlling, bullying woman? Food for thought, because there are plenty of those in our churches!