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Should a Christian Date A Non-Christian?

Discussion in 'Ethics & Morality' started by DTate98, Jan 4, 2016.

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  1. DTate98

    DTate98 Official CF User

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    I am kind of confused on this. I've been told that dating a non-Christian is unbiblical with the conflicting belief systems, but I have also heard that as long as the person isn't anti-Christianity then it's okay, and you can do missionary dating, as in convince them to convert while dating. Which is really true?

    Please provide biblical support for any answers.
     
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  2. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Missionary dating ends up with the christian violating their morals or falling away altogether in probably 80% of the cases.

    IMO it is an unwise choice.

    Unless you have a clear word from God on it; and a LOT of people praying for the other person's salvation.
     
  3. DTate98

    DTate98 Official CF User

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    What if the person has Christian morals, but not a Christian faith? Or if the person is willing to participate in activities such as going to church, etc? Would I have to make sure they convert before I date them?
     
  4. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    How serious about the dating are you? If you develop strong romantic feelings, then you will probably want to get married at some point.

    THAT is the real problem - being covenantally yoked together with someone who disbelieves.
     
  5. SkyWriting

    SkyWriting The Librarian Supporter

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    It is difficult. But all relationships are difficult. How do I get along
    with my disbelieving dad? How do I get along with my uncle?
    He is both a paster and an sob. There are many difficult relationships
    to navigate. If they are hostile to your faith, then you have a problem.
    If you feel they are open to the Christian message, then you have a
    potential partner.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2016
  6. DTate98

    DTate98 Official CF User

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    I'm not saying I'm interested in dating anyone. I just need to know what I should do if that situation comes around.
     
  7. Måns

    Måns New Member

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    Follow your heart.
     
  8. LOVEthroughINTELLECT

    LOVEthroughINTELLECT The courage to be human

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    Just be honest with yourself and the people you interact with and everything should fall into place.

    Missionary dating sounds deceptive.
     
  9. The Cadet

    The Cadet SO COOL

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    Honestly? Even leaving aside what the bible has to say about it, I think that if you consider the bible so important, and the person you date doesn't, you'd probably both be better off finding someone else. Think about it - if she's not a Christian and you act as a missionary, she's liable going to be irritated with your proselytizing. If she's not a Christian and you don't proselytize, how will things go when you're deep into the relationship and she starts taking issue with you wanting to teach your children about Christ? Regardless of how this goes, it's going to be a rocky road.

    Personally, I wouldn't date a "serious" Christian. A Christmas-Easter Christian, sure (my current girlfriend was, until she realized that she didn't really believe), so long as they accepted that I am an atheist and intend to raise my children to think critically and understand science, but a Christian who wonders what the bible has to say about every action in their life? Never. It would be a disaster. And the reverse is just as true. Nobody would enjoy that.

    ...Granted, that's not very biblical, but you really should think about this not just in terms of "what does the bible say" but also "what is going to lead to a good relationship". The bible, despite the claims of some here, does not contain all the answers on everything. Some things, like a good apple pie or a good relationship, aren't really held within its pages.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2016
  10. talitha

    talitha Cultivate Honduras

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    EXCELLENT POST, especially what I bolded. You should listen to what a prospective nonChristian date or mate would really think and feel, if not right away, then definitely after the pink glow wears off.
     
  11. LOVEthroughINTELLECT

    LOVEthroughINTELLECT The courage to be human

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    Sounds like indoctrination.
     
  12. SteveB28

    SteveB28 Well-Known Member

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    Good grief! In 2016??
     
  13. The Cadet

    The Cadet SO COOL

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    :doh:

    Yes, the exact opposite of Indoctrination somehow counts as indoctrination. You do realize I don't mean "Teach them Christianity is a load of nonsense", right? I mean exactly what I say - teach them to think critically and understand science. To be able to understand logic, understand the world around them, and be able to reach their own valid conclusions about how the world works. How in the world is this indoctrination? :scratch:
     
  14. talitha

    talitha Cultivate Honduras

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    I was actually thinking about commenting on that but decided not to because it's not material to the OP - I totally agree that kids should be taught to think critically and understand science. That's called ed-u-ca-tion. I believe that Christianity will stand up completely to critical evaluation - has many times.....
     
  15. The Cadet

    The Cadet SO COOL

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    Yeah. If someone sees this as "indoctrination" against Christianity, it's a tacit admission that they don't have good reasons for their faith, and that their faith doesn't hold up to scrutiny.
     
  16. LOVEthroughINTELLECT

    LOVEthroughINTELLECT The courage to be human

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    What would making children aware of intuition be called? If making them aware of intuition is also education, why is critical thinking being emphasized?

    What would teaching children to understand aesthetics be called? If teaching them to understand aesthetics is also education, why the emphasis on science?
     
  17. LOVEthroughINTELLECT

    LOVEthroughINTELLECT The courage to be human

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    I have my own biases.

    I would especially want my children to develop an appreciation of things.

    Merely having an "understanding" of something is overrated.
     
  18. talitha

    talitha Cultivate Honduras

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    LOVEthroughINTELLECT, you have some interesting thoughts..... Of course, I (and probably Cadet) also value intuition and aesthetics. He was not trying to be comprehensive in EVERYthing a child needs to know - probably would include social skills and manners and a slew of other things.....

    True (see above).

    Okay.
     
  19. Calvinist Dark Lord

    Calvinist Dark Lord Regular Member

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    Somebody here just gave you the advice (without scriptural justification) to "follow your heart".

    i would plead that you DO NOT take that advice.

    Here's what the scriptures say about your heart and mine...
    9)The heart is deceitfull and wicked aboue all things, who can knowe it?
    10)I the Lord search the heart, and try ye reines, euen to giue euery man according to his wayes, and according to the fruite of his workes.
    Jeremiah 17:9 1599 Geneva Bible.
    God through His word has already spoken on this subject. He tells us to not be unequally yoked.

    14)Be not vnequally yoked with the infidels: for what fellowship hath righteousnesse with vnrighteousnesse? and what communion hath light with darkenesse?

    15)And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath the beleeuer with the infidell?

    16)And what agreement hath the Temple of God with idols? for ye are the Temple of the liuing God: as God hath said, I will dwell among them, and walke there: and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

    17)Wherefore come out from among them, and separate your selues, saith the Lord, and touch none vncleane thing, and I wil receiue you.

    18)And I will be a Father vnto you, and ye shalbe my sonnes and daughters, saith the Lord almightie.
    II Corinthians 6:14-18 1599 Geneva Bible
    Dating is for the intention of marriage, which is a covenant relationship with another persons (see Ephesians 5). Being in covenant relationship with an unbeliever is the last thing you want to do with yourself. Mankind is by nature covenant breakers. That is the testimony of Scripture.
     
  20. DTate98

    DTate98 Official CF User

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    Thank you for your response. I understand that maybe missionary dating isn't the best way to go about it, and perhaps if the situation came about, I should probably attempt to convert them before I date them.

    Also, the bible has relationship advice. It's basically the right and wrongs of a Christian relationship.
     
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