Shoud this scripture be considered "Patriarchal?"

Dave-W

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1 Corinthians 7:3
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.​

Isn't this just a biblical excuse for a woman to be abused sexually by her husband?
 

Yeshua HaDerekh

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1 Corinthians 7:3
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.​

Isn't this just a biblical excuse for a woman to be abused sexually by her husband?

Sounds pretty equal to me...basically both should respect each other
 
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Dave-W

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Sounds pretty equal to me...basically both should respect each other
But where does that leave the wife who does NOT want to have sex? Is it not forcing her to do so against her will?

Would that not be the very thing that #metoo is dealing with?
 
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Dave-W

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These verses promote a cooperative 50/50 relationship; however, too many patriarchal societies tend to over-emphasize the first part of verse 4 while conveniently ignoring the second part.
So how does that fit with my post #3?
 
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Dave L

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1 Corinthians 7:3
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.​

Isn't this just a biblical excuse for a woman to be abused sexually by her husband?
Only if the husband is abusive.
 
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Dave-W

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I would ask what you think "except by agreement for a time" means?
I know historically what it meant. Hillel and Shammai (first century BC) had that discussion and Shammai said 2 weeks max and Hillel (grandfather of Paul's mentor Gamaliel) said one week max.

But that still does not stop this passage from being used in a patriarchal manner to force a wife to have sex.

What brought this up for me was this thread:

Another sexless unconsummated marriage

with all of the people berating the wife (who is not here to defend herself) and suggestions that the OP divorce her for not living up to her marriage vows.
 
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Duke Nelson

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But where does that leave the wife who does NOT want to have sex? Is it not forcing her to do so against her will?

Would that not be the very thing that #metoo is dealing with?

Hi Dave,

There can be many reasons why a wife doesn't want to have sex with her husband.
  • loss of respect (the husband has disrespected himself or her too many times)
  • She can be no longer attracted to her husband because he lacks self control, discipline, internal strength, motivation, vision, leadership etc
  • lack of affection and care
Remember women do not need sex this is why their drive is much lower than mens. Women NEED affection as opposed to men (married) who NEED sex.

God is obviously not telling you to rape your wife neither does a man ever want to feel as if he's raping he's wife. As men if your wife was attracted to you and no longer isn't, then the first place you should start looking is at you.
 
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Yeshua HaDerekh

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Dave-W

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Hi Dave,

There can be many reasons why a wife doesn't want to have sex with her husband.
  • loss of respect (the husband has disrespected himself or her too many times)
  • She can be no longer attracted to her husband because he lacks self control, discipline, internal strength, motivation, vision, leadership etc
  • lack of affection and care
Remember women do not need sex this is why their drive is much lower than mens. Women NEED affection as opposed to men (married) who NEED sex.

God is obviously not telling you to rape your wife neither does a man ever want to feel as if he's raping he's wife. As men if your wife was attracted to you and no longer isn't, then the first place you should start looking is at you.
OK - does that include a non-consummated marriage of almost a year and a half? (from the OP of the linked thread) or if a wife suffered trauma as a child and it has little to do with the husband?

Remember women do not need sex this is why their drive is much lower than mens. Women NEED affection as opposed to men (married) who NEED sex.
Scripturally, the woman is taken to have the higher drive.
Places that track such things say the number of men and women complaining of a lack of sex from their spouse is about equal.
 
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A Realist

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I know historically what it meant. Hillel and Shammai (first century BC) had that discussion and Shammai said 2 weeks max and Hillel (grandfather of Paul's mentor Gamaliel) said one week max.

But that still does not stop this passage from being used in a patriarchal manner to force a wife to have sex.

I can see where you're coming from, and do agree that it can be unfortunately used in that manner.
What brought this up for me was this thread:

Another sexless unconsummated marriage

with all of the people berating the wife (who is not here to defend herself) and suggestions that the OP divorce her for not living up to her marriage vows.
Yeah, I saw that. I also saw that the OP has only 3 posts since the thread was originally created.

Honestly, I feel threads like that are trolling threads. There are folks in these forums that create threads like that for the specific purpose of showing how ignorant, uninformed, and idiotic some Christians can be.
 
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Yeshua HaDerekh

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But where does that leave the wife who does NOT want to have sex? Is it not forcing her to do so against her will?

Would that not be the very thing that #metoo is dealing with?

that is a decision between the husband and wife.
 
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Dave-W

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Honestly, I feel threads like that are trolling threads.
So we just jump to a conclusion that someone is trolling.
I have come across enough people that are frustrated out of their minds that I do not dismiss it so easily.
 
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Dave-W

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Dave-W

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Only if the husband is abusive.
So if the husband is NOT abusive, then it is OK to refuse for months and years?

My point here is forcing someone to have sex with you (either by this scripture or other means) is inherently abusive.
 
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archer75

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Hi Dave,

There can be many reasons why a wife doesn't want to have sex with her husband.
  • loss of respect (the husband has disrespected himself or her too many times)
  • She can be no longer attracted to her husband because he lacks self control, discipline, internal strength, motivation, vision, leadership etc
  • lack of affection and care
Remember women do not need sex this is why their drive is much lower than mens. Women NEED affection as opposed to men (married) who NEED sex.

God is obviously not telling you to rape your wife neither does a man ever want to feel as if he's raping he's wife. As men if your wife was attracted to you and no longer isn't, then the first place you should start looking is at you.
What about a woman who gets married saying she intends to have a sexual relationship and then admits she was lying?
 
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FireDragon76

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But where does that leave the wife who does NOT want to have sex? Is it not forcing her to do so against her will?

Would that not be the very thing that #metoo is dealing with?

Christian marriages should be rooted in love, not legalism. If people have to start asking whose turn it is to be considerate, I think something has gone badly amiss.

I don't see this particular passage as justification for sexual abuse.
 
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Dave-W

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What about a woman who gets married saying she intends to have a sexual relationship and then admits she was lying?
OR - as in my case, she tries to normally sexual, but all of a sudden on the honeymoon she is blown over by tons of PTSD flashbacks from childhood abuse.
 
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