Shallow

[ZooMom]

I miss my church. I probably shouldn't, and our new church is very nice, and the whole point is Mass, anyway...but I do. I miss it alot, and I do not feel comfortable yet in the new church. Mea culpa.

 

[isshinwhat]

Prayers. Some things are worth missing...

 

[ZooMom]

Thanks, Neal.

It may sound very strange, but I used to get a feeling when I would go into my church. Absolute peace. It was very tangible...very real. Just being inside the building made me feel so...safe, I guess. I don't know. I don't get that feeling at this church. It's a lot of little things, that don't really matter a great deal. The Liturgy is proper...the priest is wonderful (amazing homilies)...I guess we have just been spoiled at St. Mary.

 

[Chrystal-J]

I know how you feel. It took me a long time to find a church that "fit". I would be bummed if anything changed. Hopefully, you can feel that peace again soon.

 

[AMDG]

Not "shallow" at all, ZooMom. I have had the "opportunity" to miss so very, very many things, and there's really a feeling of "emptiness", like a hole in one's heart. I "offer it up". It seems to help me some.

 

[Fantine]

Have you changed churches because of a move to a different location? If so, you have so many things to adjust to at once.

When I moved to different states, I had pretty high expectations for my new church. I expected that it would help me find friends and adjust to my new community. And the less my new community was a good fit for my personality, the less my new church seemed to help.

What helped me? Realizing that even if my new location wasn't a good fit, there were probably lots of other people in the same predicament, and I just had to find them. And maybe I wouldn't find them in church. Eventually, even in my most difficult move (and most recent) I built a community of friends. My sister moved here recently, and she's been able to take advantage of all the legwork I did ten years ago--but still there are gaps. She's retired--I'm working. There are some interests we don't share. But still, it gave her a headstart.

And so, if you have moved, try to be gentle with your expectations of your church. Maybe what you really need is a neighbor to carpool with, or have coffee with, or to walk in the mornings with.

And you will find them. Prayers for you.

 

[ZooMom]

Thanks, everyone.

Fantine, yes, we just recently moved from NC to California. We know absolutely no-one out here, except one guy my husband works with, but his family is still back in NC.

It's not the people at church. Everyone is very friendly and very welcoming. The priests (we've met three so far who rotate through) are incredible. The Liturgy is celebrated properly and with due reverence.

No...my problem truly is shallow. The church is ugly, and the music is awful. There...I said it. The feeling that one is in a holy place is entirely absent for me simply because of the 'look' of the place. The music, both the hymns and the Liturgical responses, are played with the tempo and sound of a western saloon piano. The cantor's voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard, but I try my utmost to be more patient in that regard because it is a small parish and perhaps she is the only one who would take the job. And since I could hardly do better, I'm no position to criticize.

As a result of these superficial irritants, I have lost a good bit of joy in the Mass...and that is shallow. I am disappointed in myself for letting it affect me to the degree it has. My focus should be...and up to now I thought it was...solely on meeting my Lord in the Eucharist. Now I realize how much my surroundings allowed me that level of serenity that enabled me to do so.

The fault is mine.

 

[Starlightsobright]

The surroundings really do effect the experience I find. We have a Perpetual Adorational Chapel in our Parish and one ten minutes away. I find it so peaceful at the one further and it is the church that I made my Fist Communion in and went to the attached Primary School. Yet my Parish Church feels the most comfortable at Mass because of our wonderful Parish Priest who started PA at both churches.

 

[Chrystal-J]

The music, both the hymns and the Liturgical responses, are played with the tempo and sound of a western saloon piano.

I had to chuckle when I read that cuz when I first joined the church I'm at now, I was nearly blasted out of my seat by the very loud "Phantom of the Opera" type music our organist played. (He was a professional opera singer in Europe, before he moved here.) I was raise in a liberal "hippie" Catholic church that used guitars to sing rock-n-roll type music in church and I was used to that. So, it took a while to adjust to the new style of music. But, now I really like it, although it could be a tad softer. lol
I hope you're able to get used to your new church. It may just take some time to adjust. It took me a year or so to get used to change in church style from my old church to the one I'm at now. (From very liberal to very traditional.)
Hoping the best for you.
C J

 

[AMDG]

The church is ugly, and the music is awful.

That comment reminds me of a person who called into the Sacred Heart radio station I was listening to. He asked if there was a "nuncio for some really bad music" that he could write to. I'm sorry for his discomfort, but the way he put it, made me laugh. Anyway the two people he spoke to recommended www.adoremus.org for finding out what the documents about music *really* say. They also suggested nicely talking to the priest, but thought that he probably knew about it already, and then suggested the book, Why Catholics Can't Sing. It's supposed to be a funny book and humor usually defuses....

BTW, I have chosen to go to an earlier Mass because in the later Mass, the piano player plays all the songs with a cha-cha beat (ever hear "Cry of the Poor" in cha-cha?). Yes, our surroundings sort of reflect our experiences. Don't be upset about it. I bet God made us like that.

 

[Fantine]

Wow, what a big move--3000 miles. Our longest move was 1000 miles.

Lots of luck as you all get adjusted to your new home.

There might be different music at different Masses. Usually early a.m. Masses have very subdued music (I realize how hard it is logistically to get to early Masses with little kids--at least it always was for me.)

I understand the "ugly" aspect all too well. The adoration chapel where I used to live was so subtly beautiful and peaceful. Serene blue colors. Comfortable chairs and kneelers. One stained glass window behind the monstrance.

The adoration chapel where I live now is completely cluttered with statues, candles, doilies. There are so many distractions to compete with Jesus. The wooden folding chairs are more reminiscent of PTA meetings than church. There are people who come in groups. There are people who bring their young children. It's like a circus.

There is another church that has an adoration hour each day. Much more peaceful and prayerful. The attendees sit quietly and pray quietly.

 

[Starlightsobright]

We sometimes have no musicians at our Parish and our Acolyte who has served for most of the 50 years it has existed will sing the hymns. He looks at everyone like a parent when you're not behaving and so people even harmonise on the "Aves".

 

[isshinwhat]

We lived in a liturgical desert for almost 3 years. You have my prayers, Sandy. In your free time (Ha!) do you think you could maybe try to foster some of the things in the parish that you miss in your old one?

 

[ZooMom]

Fantine, unfortunately there is only one Mass available once a week, because there is no priest in residence at our parish. The next closest parish is about 40 minutes further away (it already takes almost 30 minutes to get to the one closest to us), and their situation is the same as ours. No priest. I am still pretty amazed that there aren't more Catholic churches around here, since the population is heavily Hispanic/Latino. But there aren't...LOTS of 'free worship' churches. Whatever that is.

Neal, I would love to do so...but I don't think they will tear down the building and start over just for me. What makes it even more disappointing is that the original church was one of the gorgeous old mission style buildings...but it got too small or whatever and now they use it for faith formation and such...and they built the new modern monstrosity next door to it.

As far as the music...I doubt I could get anywhere with that, either. As I said, the parish is relatively small, and I'm sure that if someone with more talent were available and willing, they would have the job. God bless the cantor...she truly does her best.


But, we are very fortunate that the actual celebration of the Mass is beautifully done, no hanky panky, liturgical 'dancers', or any of that nonsense. In fact, if I close my eyes through the whole Mass, I could pretend I'm in St. Mary's...except for the music. Really...I had to warn the kids the first time we took them, and threaten dire consequences if they started laughing. It was that bad.

 

[D'Ann]

Sandy,

Send me a pm about where abouts you moved to in California. I grew up in California and when Bob and I married, we moved up to the midwest (MN), where we both have lived close to 30 years. He grew up here in MN.

Depending on where you live, there are a few really good Catholic Churches... at least, they were there when I was growing up.

I don't know what to say about the music... my condolences.

Hopefully, it will all work out right in the end.

God's peace,

Debbie