Sexual Sin with My Boyfriend

[Kayla Karenina]

My boyfriend and I are both Christian (a faithful one - born and raised in a strong Christian family). However after dating, we find ourselves now keep on struggling with our sexual desire and sin. It started with a normal kiss and hug, then passionate kiss, and now dry humping and touching already.. We didn't have intercourse as we want to keep it for after the marriage. It's been very frustrating because we know it is sinful to keep on doing this but at the same time we couldn't escape from this sin. We prayed and tried some efforts to stay away from sinning again, but eventually did it again over and over again. This is so frustrating and I'm so guilty and afraid that God's anger and punishment will come to us.

Please help to pray for us, I'm so afraid that this went too far already and too late to repent :'(

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Johnny4ChristJesus]

My boyfriend and I are both Christian (a faithful one - born and raised in a strong Christian family). However after dating, we find ourselves now keep on struggling with our sexual desire and sin. It started with a normal kiss and hug, then passionate kiss, and now dry humping and touching already.. We didn't have intercourse as we want to keep it for after the marriage. It's been very frustrating because we know it is sinful to keep on doing this but at the same time we couldn't escape from this sin. We prayed and tried some efforts to stay away from sinning again, but eventually did it again over and over again. This is so frustrating and I'm so guilty and afraid that God's anger and punishment will come to us.

Please help to pray for us, I'm so afraid that this went too far already and too late to repent :'(

Get married. If you can't jump into marriage, then one or both of you isn't sure about this relationship and then you don't need to become another statistic. I see too many single pregnant moms with the dads no where to be found--and that isn't just the dads' fault.

If you want to stay in the relationship, but know you are taking it too far, then I would suggest making sure you don't put yourselves alone any more.

Trust me, with the progression you have described, you will eventually give in. Don't ruin the blessing you could have by jumping into something without genuine commitment.

 

[Sam91]

Hebrews 12:4

You will need to redefine the boundaries and put God before your lustful feelings. It will be better if you didn't give full on kisses and hugs etc. It might be better to meet in public and to avoid being alone, if you must keep it very brief.

It is the safer and wiser thing to do. The more you tease yourselves the stronger the desire will be. I think what you are doing is already sinful because you are already engaged in lust. Step back and purify your minds and hearts. Read the epistles, they have a lot to say about this.

I have just reread and notice your feelings of guilt. You'll only feel like you are able to repent when you have turned your back on the sin. To do that you'll feel better knowing it won't happen again and it won't if you cut off your opportunity to do so. Hence avoid being alone.

Blessings

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Mountainmanbob]

It's not good to unite with another unless we are married.

Whether married or not if we have sexual relationships the two become one. It's a terrible thing if the relationship does not last.

For we take a little piece of that person's heart with us and they tear out a piece of our heart and it goes with them as we go on our way.

Coming from an older guy -- many of these things (sins) will be remembered 50 years later.

M-Bob

 

[dqhall]

My boyfriend and I are both Christian (a faithful one - born and raised in a strong Christian family). However after dating, we find ourselves now keep on struggling with our sexual desire and sin. It started with a normal kiss and hug, then passionate kiss, and now dry humping and touching already.. We didn't have intercourse as we want to keep it for after the marriage. It's been very frustrating because we know it is sinful to keep on doing this but at the same time we couldn't escape from this sin. We prayed and tried some efforts to stay away from sinning again, but eventually did it again over and over again. This is so frustrating and I'm so guilty and afraid that God's anger and punishment will come to us.

Please help to pray for us, I'm so afraid that this went too far already and too late to repent :'(

Celibacy for a single. Fidelity for a married couple. You might have to start talking about marriage and family formation. To find if his intentions are honorable. Sex and marriage are for this purpose. Too many illegitimate children were born because a couple wanted sex, but had not committed to marriage. If a man makes a woman pregnant and does not marry her, he may be sued for child support. Some men were not able to pay child support.

 

[dqhall]

My boyfriend and I are both Christian (a faithful one - born and raised in a strong Christian family). However after dating, we find ourselves now keep on struggling with our sexual desire and sin. It started with a normal kiss and hug, then passionate kiss, and now dry humping and touching already.. We didn't have intercourse as we want to keep it for after the marriage. It's been very frustrating because we know it is sinful to keep on doing this but at the same time we couldn't escape from this sin. We prayed and tried some efforts to stay away from sinning again, but eventually did it again over and over again. This is so frustrating and I'm so guilty and afraid that God's anger and punishment will come to us.

Please help to pray for us, I'm so afraid that this went too far already and too late to repent :'(

You might have to tell your parents, if you want to get married. They might be able to counsel you. You may need their support. If you do not listen to them, they may be hurt, or worse they might disown you.

 

[RDKirk]

My boyfriend and I are both Christian (a faithful one - born and raised in a strong Christian family). However after dating, we find ourselves now keep on struggling with our sexual desire and sin. It started with a normal kiss and hug, then passionate kiss, and now dry humping and touching already.. We didn't have intercourse as we want to keep it for after the marriage. It's been very frustrating because we know it is sinful to keep on doing this but at the same time we couldn't escape from this sin. We prayed and tried some efforts to stay away from sinning again, but eventually did it again over and over again. This is so frustrating and I'm so guilty and afraid that God's anger and punishment will come to us.

Please help to pray for us, I'm so afraid that this went too far already and too late to repent :'(

How close are you to marriage? Are you seriously talking about it? Are you prepared in other ways for it, such as finances, school, or employment?

Are both sets of parents involved in moving you toward marriage?

In other words, is marriage just something you've talked about, or is it actually a goal that you're taking real steps toward?

 

[Kayla Karenina]

Thank you everyone for your kind reply and support.

My boyfriend and I pretty much talked about marriage already (we start planning on our finance, talk about building a family and we met each other parents too a couple of times).

We realized that we are both an intimate person, in which setting boundaries have been very challenging.
But after all, I agree with everyone here that we need to stay away from being just the two of us alone to escape from this sexual sin.

I truly hope and pray that we can be set free from this struggle.

Please keep us in prayer, thank you everyone.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Thank you everyone for your kind reply and support.

My boyfriend and I pretty much talked about marriage already (we start planning on our finance, talk about building a family and we met each other parents too a couple of times).

We realized that we are both an intimate person, in which setting boundaries have been very challenging.
But after all, I agree with everyone here that we need to stay away from being just the two of us alone to escape from this sexual sin.

I truly hope and pray that we can be set free from this struggle.

Please keep us in prayer, thank you everyone.

Well God bless the two of you and we wish for you to know that most of us have been in a similar situation and we know it's not easy fighting the old Flesh. 67 years old here and still putting up the good fight. But, oh how I remember those Ladies. Now I got the MountainLady. Just the one I prayed so long for and (waited my best) on God's timing. Man there's another hard one. The sanctification process is not always an easy one but, so much relief when we come out on the other side.
M-Bob

 

[Kayla Karenina]

Well God bless the two of you and we wish for you to know that most of us have been in a similar situation and we know it's not easy fighting the old Flesh. 67 years old here and still putting up the good fight. But, oh how I remember those Ladies. Now I got the MountainLady. Just the one I prayed so long for and (waited my best) on God's timing. Man there's another hard one. The sanctification process is not always an easy one but, so much relief when we come out on the other side.
M-Bob

Thank you for your kind words, M-Bob.
I'm really thankful to find this forum and get the support as I feel so lonely in this journey, feel that it is so shameful to struggle with this and feel that nobody to talk to as people will just judge and talk on us.
Thanks again for the encouragement, fighting over the flesh desire everyday here.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Hope you guys might also consider Christian pre-marriage counseling someday? My wife and I did that before we got married with a very kind local pastor. Got some important issues out on the table. It was a real blessing for us.
M-Bob

 

[Kayla Karenina]

Hope you guys might also consider Christian pre-marriage counseling someday? My wife and I did that before we got married with a very kind local pastor. Got some important issues out on the table. It was a real blessing for us.
M-Bob

Yes, we actually plan to take the pre-marriage course at our church next year.
Some say that such course is just for engaged couples only who are closer towards their marriage (not really for couples like us that are not getting married that soon), is that true?

Personally we want to take the class sooner though we plan to get married in the next 2 years, so I wonder if it is too early for us to take.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

Some say that such course is just for engaged couples only who are closer towards their marriage (not really for couples like us that are not getting married that soon), is that true?

Probably so but, they may let you in early and maybe you could do it twice, do it now and do it again later right before you get married?

M-Bob
M-Bob

 

[FreeinChrist]

MOD HAT

This thread was moved from General Struggles to Struggles with Sexuality, where it is a better fit.

Please review the Statement of Purpose.

 

[Dave-W]

A few years ago my wife’s sister’s 2nd daughter was engaged to a great guy. But a few times when we were in their area they asked my wife and I to be with them rather than them being alone together. I do not know nor did I ask what was involved in that, but we were more than happy to honor them that way. You guys may need to ask friends or family to do that as well.

 

[eyeamnicegirl]

Thank you everyone for your kind reply and support.

My boyfriend and I pretty much talked about marriage already (we start planning on our finance, talk about building a family and we met each other parents too a couple of times).

We realized that we are both an intimate person, in which setting boundaries have been very challenging.
But after all, I agree with everyone here that we need to stay away from being just the two of us alone to escape from this sexual sin.

I truly hope and pray that we can be set free from this struggle.

Please keep us in prayer, thank you everyone.

I see from your profile that you are 28 years old??? Why not just get married, and enjoy your desire in a holy and proper way? It is sexual attraction that distinguishes between "just friends" and romantic love. If you wait until you can afford to get married, you will never get married. Forget the finances. If you want to marry him, and he wants to marry you, get married as quickly as possible, then live happily ever after. It is possible that the two of you could be married in a month IF you both want to get married; don't let the world tell you it has to be planned for a year in advance; you can put together a nice wedding in a month. If you don't care at all about the formality of a wedding, you two can go find a preacher and be married by this time tomorrow. If, for whatever reason, you don't want to marry him, or he doesn't want to marry you, the RUN as fast as you can away from this relationship, and never never look back.