sex question...*blush*

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KristiLee

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shyfaeryxx said:
Hi,
I was wondering, is masturbation really wrong if what you're fantasizing about isn't a real person & you'd never find it pleasurable in real life?? And you'd NEVER do what you're fantasizing about in real life? (Ecxept maybe to your future husband/wife). I mean, c'mon, what about those of us who have never dated in like 10 years, or worse, never? Don't we deserve any "sexual happiness" for ourselves, AND to help us from doing something stupid sexually (like hiring a prostitute or something)? :confused: Thanks~ :)

I found this on the web regarding masturbation and I found it very helpful. I hope it helps your struggle for answers. God bless!




What Does The Bible Say About Masturbation?

"What does the Bible say about masturbation?" is one of our most frequently asked questions. Many Christians have found it difficult to answer this question according to the Bible, because the Bible never mentions masturbation specifically. To understand how God feels about this subject, we must examine other verses that deal with issues such as lust, self-control and purity. Also, we must examine its fruit to see if it is from God. We have tried to address this issue by answering some of the most frequently asked questions. Our prayer is that God will use this page to bring freedom and deliverance.

"Does God care about what we do in the privacy of our bedrooms?"

Sex is God's invention. He is the mastermind behind it—and His creation is worth far more to Him than it is to us. This beautiful expression of love was created out of His own heart, as a gift to be experienced between a husband and wife. It is only in marriage that this manifestation of intimacy can be fully enjoyed in the depth for which it was created.

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4, NIV).

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4, KJV).

The more beautiful and unique something is (like sexual intercourse), the more power it holds over our lives, either for good or bad influence. That is why it so easy for the devil to corrupt the most precious of God's gifts. When we become more in love with the gifts than the One who endowed them, the things that were designed to bless us begin to destroy us instead. Yes, God cares about what we do with our bodies, in public or in private. He doesn't want us to abuse ourselves in any way.

In fact, an older definition of masturbation is "self-abuse." Although more modern dictionaries may no longer carry this definition, they are still linked together under self-abuse:

Self-abuse noun¹

1. Abuse of oneself or one's abilities.
2. Masturbation.

1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV) further confirms this, saying that unlawful sexual relations defile our own bodies. "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

"Isn't it still better to touch than to commit fornication?"

The easy answer to this question would be, "Yes, it is better to touch, because at best it corrupts only one person. It certainly is the lesser of two evils." However, why would a loving, holy, all-powerful God abandon you to a situation in which you have to choose any evil, whether it be "lesser" or "greater?" To really answer this question, we must again go back to God's original plan for sex.

First of all, masturbation will not truly relieve the sexual pressure that one may feel. It may for a short moment, but in the long run it only creates a deeper desire and capacity for sex, which will lead to more masturbation. If you let yourself become enslaved to a sexual high, you will find that you need to go to increasingly extreme acts to maintain the same degree of excitement. There are even ungodly sex therapists who recommend masturbation as a way of increasing sexual desire, not lessening it. This creates a vicious circle, like the junkie who craves a "fix," but is only temporarily satisfied. The more he indulges in his dependency, the more ensnared by addiction he becomes. This is the nature of all sin. That is why Jesus declared that all who sin become a slave to sin (John 8:34).

Furthermore, masturbation usually involves fantasy, visualization, and often inappropriate contentography. The Bible is very clear as to what God expects of us in these areas of fantasy and lust. It teaches that we must not look lustfully at each other and nor should we behave in such a manner as to entice others to lust after us.

"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust upon a girl. I know full well that the Almighty God sends calamity on those who do" (Job 31:1-3, The Living Bible).

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28 ).

While the above verses refer to men lusting after women, all women know that it can very easily be reversed to apply to themselves as well. Men may be more easily visually stimulated than women, but women can be just as vulnerable to sexual fantasy in the emotional realm. Both are sin in God's eyes, and both can be brought into subjection by controlling our thoughts through Christ's power.

All sexual immorality begins with a thought. A lustful thought not taken captive, will eventually lead to other perversions, because sin reproduces itself in increasingly greater measures. If we do not deal with our evil thoughts, they will take root in our heart.

It is for this reason that God is so concerned with our thought life. Jesus came not only to deliver us from our "outward" sins, but also from wickedness that begins in the heart.

"Isn't God unreasonable to demand sexual purity after giving us sexual drives that seem to overwhelm us at times?"

Our loving God never demands from us what is impossible for us to do. We are so weak within ourselves that it may seem impossible, but He will equip us with His holy power to overcome any sin, if we ask in faith.

Of course, sexual urges in and of themselves are not wicked. They are natural. God created us that way. He desires that we get optimum pleasure out of them by using them the way they were created to be used. However, many desires for physical gratification (whether it be food, sex, etc.) stem from a deeper need that is unfilled deep inside us. Gorging our flesh can never fill a hunger that grows out of our spirit. Only intimacy with God can fill the deepest needs inside of us. No other created thing has that power.

God is no more unreasonable than any caring parent who lovingly disciplines their child. It is only because He knows what is best for us. He sees a mighty potential in each one of us that far supersedes our wildest dreams, and He loves us enough to do all He can to bring it to pass.

"I agree with all the theory, but living it out on a day to day level is another story."

This is the place where we need the empowerment of the Holy Spirit in our everyday lives. The Holy Spirit is not a vague "force," but the very power of God to comfort you and strengthen you against the sins that used to rule you before you were born again. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we have the very ability that Jesus had to resist temptation. He depended completely upon the Father and so must we.

Something you must know is that God is not the one who is tempting you in this area to "test" you. God is on your side and wants to set you free from these things, not lead you into them! "When tempted, no one should say "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed" (James 1:13-14).

God wants us to overcome every sin and temptation in our lives. Please slowly read the following verses and let their message seep deep inside your spirit.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

"For though we live in the world we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).

"In the same way count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master for you are not under law but under grace" (Romans 6:11-14).

"For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:15-16, King James Version).

"Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God" (2 Corinthians 7:1).

"Can I really be set free?"

"In (this) freedom, Christ has made us free—completely liberated us; stand fast then, and do not be hampered and held ensnared and submit again to a yoke of slavery—which you have once put off " (Galatians 5:1 Amp).

If you are in a real struggle with any form of sexual sin, we do not believe it was by accident that God led you to this teaching. He wants to set you free, starting right now! We would like to share several things that you can do to break loose from this stronghold:

1. Confess this sin first to God, then go to a committed Christian you trust, such as your pastor. Ask God to lead you to someone that you can be accountable with, who will be faithful to pray with you and for you. This will take humility on your part, but it will lead to life. James 5:16 says: "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." (You may not feel "righteous" but if you have admitted your sin to God and received His forgiveness, you are! That means your prayers are powerful and effective!)

We found a site that deals with people who have had problems in the past with inappropriate contentography. Now they hold each other accountable and share what God has done in their lives. If you think such a group may be of help to you, you might want to visit this link. inappropriate content Prayer Support (Christian support group)

2. Flee from and reject anything that aggravates this sin. For example, you may need to get off the Internet for a season or purchase software that blocks out inappropriate contentography. This may sound too drastic, but it certainly is mild compared to Jesus who said, "If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body, than for your whole body to go into Hell" (Matthew 5:30). His point was that we must be willing to part with anything that causes us to sin—even if it hurts temporarily.

3. You may need to seek healing and deliverance from qualified Christians who are anointed in this area of ministry. If you have been deeply involved in sexual sins, the devil probably has a stronghold in that area your life. If you can, find some people who can help you stand against the devil, for he is the one who seeks to lead you into temptation, and whispers lies of hopelessness and shame into your ears. If he drops a filthy thought into your mind just when you are trying to pray (he has used this tactic on even the holiest saints of God), tell him to leave in the name of Jesus! Recognize his voice for what it is, and submit yourself to God. As you do this and resist the devil, he will flee from you! He is deathly afraid of those who are submitted to God in brokenness and humility.

4. Don't give up! Deliverance might take time. Self-control takes effort. You may slip occasionally—or even a lot. But remember that God loves you and He will be faithful to perfect His character in you as long you keep submitting to Him. Eventually you will win—and not because of your best efforts, but because of God's mercy (Titus 3:5). Just as salvation is received in faith, so deliverance must be received in faith. This has nothing to do with our character, strength, or failings. The only thing it is dependant upon is you receiving it in humility. If you should fail, recognize it quickly, ask God to forgive you—and then receive His forgiveness! He is faithful to do that which He promised, not just in a select few mighty men and woman of God, but in all who are willing to come humbly before Him. That includes you! We want to encourage you to hold on to this scripture as your anchor:

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it" (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).
 
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woobadooba

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Snooz said:
If Jesus IS God,
then Why did he say the Father is greater than He ???

"You heard that I said to you 'I go away and will come to you.' If you loved Me, you would have rejoiced, because I go to the Father; for the Father is greater than I" (John 14:23)

So ??? Anything to say about that?

Jesus also said I and the father are one. Hence to see Jesus was to see the Father.

Also, your question informs me that you don't understand the nature of Christ. When Christ said that the Father is greater, He was in His human form, not crucified and resurrected at that point. So, when one looks at this fro the perspective that Christ gave everything up for the sake of humanity, He, as God/Man could say that the Father was greater than He. And that is the lesson that He sought to teach in this passage, the lesson that you haven't learned because you are resisting the Spirit.

The lesson that Jesus(God)gave everything up
for you, not so that you could continue to live in sin, but so that you could learn to live in Him, and be holy!

Did you not read the passage that I told you to read?
 
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woobadooba

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holo said:
A friendly advice, woobadooba,
you sometimes come off as incredibly arrogant with the way you're saying people don't have a "teachable spirit" and such, just because they think differently than you.

There are some things that we can flat out disagree on, and there is nothing to be said about that since such matters are usually of taste.

But when it comes to absolute truth, and you've studdied the stuff exhaustively, you've earned the right to tell the relativist that he isn't fostering a teachable spirit.

Moreover, if I tell someone to go look up a passage and he comes back at me with something that has nothing to do with that passage, and especially when he comes back at me with something that proves my point and disproves his own, that tells me one thing: That person didn't listen to what I said, nor did he follow my instructions.

Hence, he doesn't have a teachable spirit.

It's not a matter of arrogance, but fact.
 
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Snooz said:
Jesus is the SON of god, not god itself!!!!
Do you believe that Jesus is the Logos? Do you believe that the Logos was created?

Jesus has never claimed he created the world!!!
If Jesus is God's Wisdom, then yes, he played a role in creation. John 1:1-3 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made."

If Jesus IS God,
then Why did he say the Father is greater than He ???

"You heard that I said to you 'I go away and will come to you.' If you loved Me, you would have rejoiced, because I go to the Father; for the Father is greater than I" (John 14:23)
See this page on ontological equality and functional subordination.

Are you arguing for Arianism?
 
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Snooz

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woobadooba said:
There are some things that we can flat out disagree on, and there is nothing to be said about that since such matters are usually of taste.

But when it comes to absolute truth, and you've studdied the stuff exhaustively, you've earned the right to tell the relativist that he isn't fostering a teachable spirit.

Moreover, if I tell someone to go look up a passage and he comes back at me with something that has nothing to do with that passage, and especially when he comes back at me with something that proves my point and disproves his own, that tells me one thing: That person didn't listen to what I said, nor did he follow my instructions.

Hence, he doesn't have a teachable spirit.

It's not a matter of arrogance, but fact.


You must learn that if there are different kind of christians (protestant, catholics, orthodox...) it is because they have different view of Christianism!!

I think you should respect more the belief of other people!




Fact are that I believe in "the Father; the Son (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit":amen:

It is called Trinity

You're telling me "Jesus is God" and you are often saying "do not resist the spirit"

So do you believe in the Trinity ?
If you believe that "Jesus is God", then, there are no more trinity!!!


Think about it!!!
 
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Snooz said:
Fact are that I believe in "the Father; the Son (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit":amen:

It is called Trinity

You're telling me "Jesus is God" and you are often saying "do not resist the spirit"

So do you believe in the Trinity ?
If you believe that "Jesus is God", then, there are no more trinity!!!

I think we are talking past each other here. You are using God's name to mean the Father, YHWH. I agree that Jesus is not the same person as the Father (that is the mistake of oneness Pentecostals). But Jesus is the second person of the Trinity, not created or made (that is the mistake of Arians).
 
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its not that easy, we cant say Jesus is a different person because He is the same person... and we cant say Jesus and God are the same because clearly they are different, and then theres the holy spirit which gets left out so often.
 
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To the OP:

Is touching yourself a sin?

Not expressly, but the more you walk with Jesus the more you understand that He will teach you that it is in fact wrong, but until Jesus lays that burden upon you, its really just up to you to decide for yourself, cuz theres no way to solidly biblicaly prove taht touching yourself is a sin that if someone wants to try to explain away they can.
 
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woobadooba

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"You must learn that if there are different kind of christians (protestant, catholics, orthodox...) it is because they have different view of Christianism!!"

So what are you saying, that they are all right and should therefore be tolerated? How can they all be right while stating that each one is wrong?

"I think you should respect more the belief of other people!"

Some people believe that it is ok to run planes into buildings and kill innocent people in the name of God. Should I respect that?





"Fact are that I believe in "the Father; the Son (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit":amen:

It is called Trinity"

Finally, you got something right!


"You're telling me "Jesus is God" and you are often saying "do not resist the spirit"

So do you believe in the Trinity ?
If you believe that "Jesus is God", then, there are no more trinity!!!"

Why do you think it is called the trinity? It is called the trinity because they are all God! You know, the triune Godhead!

How long have you been a Christian?

Think about it!!![/QUOTE]
 
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holo

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woobadooba said:
Hence, he doesn't have a teachable spirit.

It's not a matter of arrogance, but fact.
But keep in mind that the problem doesn't necessarily lie with the other person - it could be your choice of word, for example.

I disagree with a whole lot of catholic teachings, and I'm sure I have extremely good arguments, but still, I can't seem to convince them. That does not in any way mean that they have an "unteachable spirit." It means they disagree, they decide to trust someone else's opinion over mine, etc etc.

Therefore it's so important that we are humble all the way and don't assume we know the full truth about everything.
 
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woobadooba

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holo said:
But keep in mind that the problem doesn't necessarily lie with the other person - it could be your choice of word, for example.

I disagree with a whole lot of catholic teachings, and I'm sure I have extremely good arguments, but still, I can't seem to convince them. That does not in any way mean that they have an "unteachable spirit." It means they disagree, they decide to trust someone else's opinion over mine, etc etc.

Therefore it's so important that we are humble all the way and don't assume we know the full truth about everything.

I agree with you on the humilty, but though we may not know the whole truth about everything, God has certainly planted it in the conscience of man to know the whole truth about some things.
 
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Snooz said:
Trinity is that the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit are all DIVIN

but you can't say that Jesus (the Son) IS the Father...nor that Jesus IS the Holy Spirit!

Uh... yes you can. Didn't you read the verse he showed you before where Jesus said that he and the Father are one?
 
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trubeliever

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God_follower said:
To the OP:

Is touching yourself a sin?

Not expressly, but the more you walk with Jesus the more you understand that He will teach you that it is in fact wrong, but until Jesus lays that burden upon you, its really just up to you to decide for yourself, cuz theres no way to solidly biblicaly prove taht touching yourself is a sin that if someone wants to try to explain away they can.

I kind of agree and kind of don't. Masturbation either IS or ISNT a sin. Now the first thing is that sin means different things to different people. Unfortunately... To me personally it means something that by doing I am slapping Jesus in the face and saying "ya... tnx for dying for me sure... i no you died for my sins, so here is another one just for YA:D" it is something that really hurts my relationship with God and that pushes me away from Him whether i believe it, notice it, or deny it. Masturbation is one of these things. And after praying about it, God has revealed to me that it is a sin. And to finally realize that it is for a fact, gave me the strength to stop. I do agree that it is something that is not specifically talked about in the Bible so ppl can twist and turn verses to fit what they believe, which doesnt work. I believe that it is possible to convince someone that it is tho. But yes the best way is to pray about it and let God reveal to you the truth, for He is Truth.

God Bless

TB
 
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We actually talked about this (not masturbation) but "lust" and all those things in general. Here is a verse that is really powerful (I thought) . . . .

[move][glow=royalblue]But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh.[/glow] Gal.5:16-17[/move]
 
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woobadooba

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trubeliever said:
I kind of agree and kind of don't. Masturbation either IS or ISNT a sin. Now the first thing is that sin means different things to different people. Unfortunately... To me personally it means something that by doing I am slapping Jesus in the face and saying "ya... tnx for dying for me sure... i no you died for my sins, so here is another one just for YA:D" it is something that really hurts my relationship with God and that pushes me away from Him whether i believe it, notice it, or deny it. Masturbation is one of these things. And after praying about it, God has revealed to me that it is a sin. And to finally realize that it is for a fact, gave me the strength to stop. I do agree that it is something that is not specifically talked about in the Bible so ppl can twist and turn verses to fit what they believe, which doesnt work. I believe that it is possible to convince someone that it is tho. But yes the best way is to pray about it and let God reveal to you the truth, for He is Truth.

God Bless

TB

What you say about people having different views of sin is quite true, and yet unfortunate at the same time.

Some would tell you that it is a sin to eat fish or to wear a ring on your finger. But those are issues that we need not address in this thread.

Nevertheless, the Bible makes it clear that "sin is the transgression of the law." So, we can know what sin is by looking at the opposite of the law.
(Now when I speak of the law I am referring to the moral code, not the ceremonial code.)

But what is the law, but a transcript of the character of God! In other words, the law is not contrary to the character of God, but is an emanation of His virtue. And so, if you really want to know what sin is, just look at the character of Christ, and anything that is the opposite of His character is sin, since He is the fullness of that which is good!

And this brings me to the next point, that the Bible also says that "whatsoever is not of faith is sin." And that "Faith is a gift from God."

Now, with these concepts in mind, is it an act of faith to touch as a means to ease ones emotional prowess, or is it an act of the carnal nature?

You see, the carnal nature always tries to substitute God's power for something else, which means it takes matters into its own hand(no pun intended)for relief.

And because it is a substitute for Jesus, who said that we should cast our cares on Him, it isn't of God, but something that belongs to the carnal nature, since it is a substitute for God in some way.

Hence, anything that is of the carnal nature is contrary to the law. And that which is contrary to the law is contrary to the character of Christ, and must therefore be sin because it isn't of faith.

If we just think these things through it isn't difficult to figure out. It is only difficult for those who love their sin more than they love their God, and that is what it really comes down to.

Homosexuals are trying to do the very same thing that some are doing in here to justify their sin. They use the same pattern of arguments that you will find in here among those who support masturbation. Yet, the interesting thing is that these people who support masturbation probably don't support homosexuality; but they use the same arguments to support one of the two, or even both.

How can they use the same arguments and yet disagree on one or the other? Can we see the word 'Contradiction'?

It's not that they don't have the ability to see the truth, it's that they aren't willing to do so because if they do they know that the truth will condemn their practice. A practice, by the way, that they are more dependant on to meet their needs than they are dependant on God to fulfill their happiness of heart.

Moreover, these people are the type that think if they just ignore the truth that they will not be held accountable for violating it.

But one day they will say, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers." Matt. 7:22-23

Notice how these people did works that were of God, yet Jesus never knew them. To know in this sense is actually a word that denotes the idea of marriage, wherein a woman and a man become one flesh, they come to know each other. In relation to Christ, to know Him is to become one flesh with Him(in a spiritual sense), which means those who know Him will walk even as He walked, they will talk even as He talked, and they will overcome the world.

This happens because they give Him 100%. They take what He gives and they give what He takes. They hold nothing back. And they most certainly do not try to substitute His care with something else.

There are a lot of evil things that the Bible doesn't speak of, but the principle is always present therein, to be holy because God is holy!

And God has given us through the example of Christ, the common sense to know what is contrary to His character.

Hopefully, these people will see that masturbation is not of God, but of the carnal nature, and will cease from doing it.

You can present them with the most sound arguments, but as long as they resist the Spirit, and thereby prove themselves to be unteachable, they will never really hear what you are saying in the name of Christ.

And they don't hear it because, like the saying quoted above wherein Jesus said, "I never knew you", they don't know Him! And because they don't know Him they can't hear His voice!
 
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