Sex before marriage

[lilyandlove]

I've been troubled by this for a few weeks now. I lost my virginity a few weeks ago and I've been so panic. He is also a Christian (he is 25, I'm 23). When I was with him, I though he was the one that God sent to me and we are going to get married. He had many sexual experiences before. I was young and naive so I lost my virginity to him when he asked. He had no protections and I was so worried so I had to go to the pharmacy to buy PlanB by myself. He became different after that night. He doesn't care about me anymore. No texts, no phone calls. I start to regret because I know that sex before marriage is a sin. Now he is angry at me and breaks up with me because he thought I was being too emotional on sex before marriage and he thought sex without protection is fine. I am so broken now. What should I do to repent my sin? It looks like he never regrets to have sex with girls before marriage and that's what he is going to do with his next girl. Should I tell him that this is a sin? Should I go back to him and study the words of Lord with him?

 

[rob_aston]

Should I go back to him and study the words of Lord with him

you are not undone sister, and Jesus

 

[SnowyMacie]

The worst thing you can possibly do is go back to him or talk to him again, he was a player who is now showing is true colors. It's not your job to change him, that's the Holy Spirit's. The best thing you can do right now is to forgive yourself and forgive him, that's how you repent. I cannot stress this enough: you are not alone, you are no unwanted or impure, and God still loves you the same as he did before.

 

[lilyandlove]

The worst thing you can possibly do is go back to him or talk to him again, he was a player who is now showing is true colors. It's not your job to change him, that's the Holy Spirit's. The best thing you can do right now is to forgive yourself and forgive him, that's how you repent. I cannot stress this enough: you are not alone, you are no unwanted or impure, and God still loves you the same as he did before.

But I still feel that I was also wrong because I didn't say no. I feel sorry for him. And I want to get back with him.

 

[datboi]

Even though you've committed a sin, God is willing to forgive you should you ask for it. The Holy Spirit inside of you is causing the guilt that you feel. The guilt means that you truly feel bad for what you've done. Also keep in mind that you're human. We make mistakes. We get caught up in passion, and it's hard to say no.

Treat this as a learning experience. God still loves you the same. Also, even though you may feel like you love this boy, think about how he treated you. Do you want to cultivate a relationship with him knowing that he abandoned you after taking what you considered to be pure?

 

[AmyPerle]

Hello lilyinlove,

Just ask the Lord to forgive you, and He will.
Now, return with that Guy, as said by datboi, seems to not be a good idea. Why returning with him? He does not seem to care about anything about you, about your feeling. As you said he don't have any problem with sleeping with others girls, it is normal for him. So return with him, you will do the same thing again, because He don't see and understand love/sexuality as you do.
I feel the biggest problem here is not that you lost your virginity, but is that you want to return with him.
To answer your last question: Personaly yes, I will tell Him what I think about Him, pointing with some verse, and then I will shut the door, forgiving him in the same time. But I won't return with somebody like that. no way.. you deserve more than that.

 

[nuranoora]

Hey!! If you repent and keep your word that you won't do it again before marriage, God will forgive you. Just don't make the mistake again. Obviously, as harsh as this might sound, that guy doesn't care about girls he is with. And I don't even think calling him a "Christian" is a right thing to do. Real Christians don't do that! You dont play with someone's feelings just like that! If I were you I would never ever go back to him. Would I ever forgive him? Yes, but I wouldn't go back to him simply because I would feel in my heart that that person leads me in a wrong direction. You have to choose someone for yourself who will walk with you through a path of God, who will make you do good, who will be there for you in good and bad. Who will understand you, or at least try to understand you... But this guy you was talking about is just another player that's all. I think you should walk away of him, and you will see that you will find someone you really deserve and someone who is going to treat you better. Good luck and God bless. Nura Xx

 

[thehehe]

Firstly, I am sorry for you. It must have been a painful disillusionment, I truly hope you will soon recover.
You know, I don't think it is our work to tell other people they should stop something (not in this case at least). This boy surely already heard many things about sex before marriage, but he made his choice. He freely chose to behave like he did. You are not responsible of his choices. For me, you should let him go, walk alone and stop trying to contact him again.
Now it is time for you to concentrate on yourself. Please, stop worrying! You are certainly better than that, as you are made for love - so you can love again, and so does your body : all you need is to forgive - and to forgive yourself mostly. You do not have to feel guilty for your boy's behavior!
Moreover, don't worry about forgiveness, it always comes, and peace with it!
I think you have to find your value again, to realize who you are again, and to make peace with yourself, with some divine help of course.
Bless you on your path.

 

[Journey.In.Grace]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I was in my very first physical relationship last year, and all he wanted was sex. He did not hesitate to try sexual advances on me. We did not last long.

I am sorry to say but it looks like the guy only wanted the sex, and was not a Christian as he claimed to be. He doesn't show regret, he changed differently and stopped talking to you -- all the signs of a guy using an innocent young woman. This happens so often, even among Christian's; we must be constantly on our guard and listen to the Holy Spirit as it tries to warn us about these things. Under no circumstances should you go back to that low life. If he does not think it was wrong, especially to not use protection, then he is not going to think sex before marriage is a sin. Let him go and leave him be, and turn to God. Only He can make it better.

Pray. Open your Bible. Those are the two things you can start with that will lead you closer to Him. Ask for His forgiveness, because He WILL forgive you. He loves you so much! He just wants you to be near Him and to follow the path He has set for you. And all of this can begin when you pray to Him seeking for forgiveness and read His word. I promise you; it will get so much better when you are with the Lord. The pain you feel is nothing compared to the joy you will feel with Him.

I will be praying for you, sweet one! <3

 

[Sketcher]

But I still feel that I was also wrong because I didn't say no.

You were, but there is a next step. Confess it to God, and renounce it. Jesus died on the cross to forgive your sin. Return to Jesus, and follow him.

I feel sorry for him. And I want to get back with him.

Don't.

 

[EyesOfKohl]

I've been troubled by this for a few weeks now. I lost my virginity a few weeks ago and I've been so panic. He is also a Christian (he is 25, I'm 23). When I was with him, I though he was the one that God sent to me and we are going to get married. He had many sexual experiences before. I was young and naive so I lost my virginity to him when he asked. He had no protections and I was so worried so I had to go to the pharmacy to buy PlanB by myself. He became different after that night. He doesn't care about me anymore. No texts, no phone calls. I start to regret because I know that sex before marriage is a sin. Now he is angry at me and breaks up with me because he thought I was being too emotional on sex before marriage and he thought sex without protection is fine. I am so broken now. What should I do to repent my sin? It looks like he never regrets to have sex with girls before marriage and that's what he is going to do with his next girl. Should I tell him that this is a sin? Should I go back to him and study the words of Lord with him?

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

You have taken the first step, because you have realised the mistake/sin you have committed within your heart.

The next step is to open your heart to God and ask Him for forgiveness.

All of us make mistakes of different magnitudes, what is important is that we learn from them to improve ourselves through our journey in life.

IMO, you shouldn't continue friendship with him. He sounds like a player who has hidden intentions if he carries on with behavior like this. But I think you should confront him of his sin as well and tell him what he is doing is wrong. That way, you have set both yourself and also tried to set him right.

 

[PrettyChillAtheist]

I'm not here to give spiritual advice but I can give advice on this guy.

He's an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. Forget about him. People like that don't deserve the time and effort that being mad at them brings.

 

[PeachieKeen]

I am very sorry this happened to you. You made a wrong choice, but please do not be tempted to believe that more wrongs will repair the first. You are covered by grace, so run free from the person who wronged you.

 

[Adstar]

I've been troubled by this for a few weeks now. I lost my virginity a few weeks ago and I've been so panic. He is also a Christian (he is 25, I'm 23). When I was with him, I though he was the one that God sent to me and we are going to get married. He had many sexual experiences before. I was young and naive so I lost my virginity to him when he asked. He had no protections and I was so worried so I had to go to the pharmacy to buy PlanB by myself. He became different after that night. He doesn't care about me anymore. No texts, no phone calls. I start to regret because I know that sex before marriage is a sin. Now he is angry at me and breaks up with me because he thought I was being too emotional on sex before marriage and he thought sex without protection is fine. I am so broken now. What should I do to repent my sin? It looks like he never regrets to have sex with girls before marriage and that's what he is going to do with his next girl. Should I tell him that this is a sin? Should I go back to him and study the words of Lord with him?

Go to God in prayer and aknowledge your transgression against His will and thank Him for the Atonement that He has provided for the forgivness of your sin through the LORD Jesus Christ...

Believe Jesus and trust in the Atonment He secured for you..

Try to learn from your error and seek to avoid it into the future..

Oh and PS: I just looked up what PlanB is... It is an abortion pill.. So potentaily your taking that pill is far more serious to God then your act of fornication..

 

[.Mikha'el.]

ON!

Thread closed for staff review.

OFF!

 

[mnorian]

Mod hat on

Thread was permanently closed
For
SOP violation
Carry on. ​