Sex Before Marriage

[goodgirl]

OK... after yeeeeeeaaaaars of explaining to boyfriends why 'tis that I won't sleep with them until we're married, it occurs to me that I don't think I've ever actually seen this in the Bible.  I know there's that part that says something about not "being with a man as if he is your husband", but to me that means a lot of things...

 

So.  is there any reference to this, or is it just tradition?  And how much does it matter that the Bible was written in an age when girls married at 14-15? 

I really am a Christian and am not trying to cause trouble... just wondering if I've been unfair all these years.

 

[FOMWatts<><]

It is amazing how God puts things in your life that you will be given the opportunity to share with others. I have recently run into this VERY subject with a friend of mine. He sharply disagrees with the idea that sex is bad before marriage. Is it? I think it is Biblical to not have sex before marriage. Here is where I derive my beliefs:
1 Corinthians 7:

8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Paul tells us that it is better to marry than to burn with desire. What would make us burn with desire? I believe he is talking of the desire to be with a woman sexually. In the unit of marriage.

Another verse that helps me stand strong in my belief about this is:

1 Corinthians 6:

12"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything. 13"Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"--but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."[2] 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Our body is not our own, and since marriage is a Holy union in God's eyes then it is okay to become one in flesh with your mate. After all...what is sexual immorality as talked about in these verses? It is uniting yourself with someone in unnatural or unholy ways.

I do not believe you have been unfair to your past boyfriends...after all what if you touched one of them by not "giving it up", and they decided to wait until they were married...what a special gift you will be able to give to your husband and they too will have to give to their wives. I think you are a noble and much needed woman in this sinful world.

Just my thoughts and scripture references on the subject

FOMWatts<><

 

[seebs]

There is room for honest debate over whether this is glossed over because it's obvious, or because it's not there. There is a real problem with trying to understand whether or not something is "sexual immorality"; after all, the Bible rarely stops to give a list and say "these things are all sexual immorality, everything else is fine", or "only these things are okay"; rather, we're given examples, and we're expected to think it through.

I haven't reached any firm conclusions on this. Ask God; He'll know what to do.

 

[Anthony]

1CO 6:13-16
Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body?


GAL 5:19-21
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Throughout the Bible sex in an ummarried state is consider to be fornication or prostitution.

Sin is not an event, but rather a warning sign - - DANGER AHEAD

&nbsp;

 

[worshipGod_03]

A lot of people, Christians included, think that the Bible doesn't say specifically that premarital sex is wrong. Before I did my homework on this subject, I was challenged with the question of where does it say so in the BIble and I didn't know what to say.

Well the word fornication according to Webster's dictionary means "illicit sexual intercourse on the part of an unmarried person. " If an unmarried person has sex that is premarital counseling (duh).
Also the words sexual immorality shows up all over the Bible. All of this in negative connotation.

So the Bible really does have a lot to say about sex before marriage being wrong.

--Marli

 

[goodgirl]

well, the word "Fornicate" comes from the Latin "fornicatus", which means "to have sex with a prostitute".&nbsp; So that particular activity, I'm pretty clear on.

Thanks for the Corinthians stuff... I'd forgotten about the "permissible, but not necessarily beneficial" aspect.&nbsp; That's kind of how I view my relationship with Jesus -- he's the best relationship I've had, so if nothing else I wouldn't want to minimalize it in any way, or give the appearance of haggling or Clintonizing things.

however, not certain Paul's the authority on sex, since he was a tee-totaller and nobody really knows why.&nbsp; And of course at the time it was not condoned to have premarital sex, but whether that was biblical or social I'm not sure. &nbsp;

The only thing I'm really worried about is, lately I've been feeling so defensive about this issue that I think I've been harpooning relationships before they start... I know in some cases that my choice will be a deal-breaker, so I just bail from the outset. And I'm not sure if what I'm doing is right, or if I'm just following tradition without any real merit.&nbsp; &nbsp;

Anyhow... no major harm done so far, I don't think, but I worry about throwing away a perfectly good relationship over nothing.

 

[HesMyAll]

Actually the Bible says alot about premarital sex.&nbsp; The priests of the Old Testament were to only marry VIRGINS.&nbsp; God wanted the people to be pure.&nbsp; He puts great value on purity.

As for being unfair...if anyone was unfair it was the boy or boys who were pressuring you to have sex.&nbsp; All they cared about was having their physical lusts satisfied.&nbsp; Had they cared at all about you, you would not have had to defend your desire to abstain.

Remain pure until you are married; you'll never regret it, and your husband will feel that he is very much treasured in your eyes that you would save yourself for him.

 

[seebs]

Originally posted by goodgirl
well, the word "Fornicate" comes from the Latin "fornicatus", which means "to have sex with a prostitute".&nbsp; So that particular activity, I'm pretty clear on.

My understanding is that both are attempts to translate the Greek "inappropriate contentea" which has other implications as well, and varied in usage over time. I could be wrong, but you're obviously right that "fornicatus" is a more immediate ancestor to the English word.

 

[ChristianPilot]

Originally posted by goodgirl
And of course at the time it was not condoned to have premarital sex, but whether that was biblical or social I'm not sure.

This may be off topic, but I think it would help some.&nbsp; I don't think the Bible's morals have anything to do with the social status at the time it was written.&nbsp; Some of the people who wrote the Bible went to jail for what was written in it, why would they bend for society on one subject when they're going to jail for others?&nbsp; It doesn't make sense to me.

Now about premarital sex.

&nbsp;

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=fornication

Sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other.

1CO 6:13-16

Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord;...

That's all I need.

 

[MatthewDiscipleofGod]

A good link about the term fornication would be:

http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/fornication.html

And a good link about this topic in general would be:

http://www.christiananswers.net/q-sum/sum-f001.html

I had this question just like you when I first became a Christian. Didn't take long for me to be shown by God what he says on the subject.

 

[goodgirl]

&nbsp;&nbsp; I think just writing my orig. post helped seal things in my mind... as I was going home yesterday I was thinking, why should I even be worried about this?&nbsp; I wonder how many guys I know are eating themselves up thinking, "what if I really threw something terrific away, just because of this one leetle disagreement?"&nbsp; Ummm.. counting... none!!&nbsp; Which clearly says a lot about the chances for a long and wonderful relationship anyway.

I did read the recommended links and while I still have a couple of little questions as to the meaning of the cited scriptures, I think the bottom line is, I'm not exactly messing up my whole life here.&nbsp; I think God will forgive me if I'm making a mistake in waiting, right? hee hee.

p.s. I use the merriam-webster dict. and it says fornication means "to sleep with a prostitute."&nbsp; Oxford, which is the standard for all the uptight traditionalist types, says "to fornicate" means "to commit fornication."&nbsp; uhhhh, thanks? LOL no really... "Fornication" is described as unmarried sex, or (interestingly) idol worship -- as in spiritual adultery.&nbsp; Definitely something to think about!

 

[caley]

Originally posted by Hesmyall

As for being unfair...if anyone was unfair it was the boy or boys who were pressuring you to have sex.&nbsp; All they cared about was having their physical lusts satisfied.&nbsp; Had they cared at all about you, you would not have had to defend your desire to abstain.

That's what I was gonna say.

 

[ChristianPilot]

Just as a note, you probably know this very well and don't need my little lecture, but I figured I'd at it anyway.

In today's culture I think sex is something that's thrown around too much.
It was designed for married men and women (who are married to each other ). But it's used to sell things, to get things, to blackmail, to entertain. Just turn on the TV and you'll see. I gurantee you that while watching a commercial break you'll see at least one sexually charged commercial. And not just in the content in the commercial, but also scantly clad women/men prancing around the screen.

Anyway, my point is that marriage is something more special than what you see on TV. It's more special than what your boyfriends (or girlfriends for some of the guys out there) may try to make it out to be. As humans we're naturally inclined to do what we want and what makes us feel good. Instead of being guided by common sense and wisdom, we're sometimes guided by our own desires and inuendos.&nbsp; But God knows everything and he's given us a manual to guide us. Follow the Bible in all things as best you can and you CANT go wrong.

 

[DaveKerwin]

If you feel that sex is ok before marriage, then you are simply naive about what it is and what it does.

Don't do it.

Heed this warning.

 

[RevKidd]

Fornication = inappropriate contenteia / Transliterated Word NASB Greek Lexicon

&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; illicit sexual intercourse
<OL type=1>
[*]adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
[*]sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
[*]sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11,
[*]metaph. the worship of idols
<OL type=a>
[*]of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols
[/list]
[/list]

As you see, the word Fornication takes on many definitions.&nbsp;