The iron age views of women as property, sex for breeding only, and property rights / lineage belong in the trash heap. I'd say the same for the idolatry of purity teachings of Bill Gothard and related who have destroyed many a marriage. This doesn't mean that errant "christian" sexual ethics like above can't work for a few, as they do for some, but not nearly as many as their proponents would like to think. I've run into far too many marriages that followed that junk that ended in divorce, or they settle for a sense of regret on the part of one or both partners for what might have been. Josh Harris, a naive protege of Gothards teaching made a movie a few years back to apologize for all the damage his book did. Granted, he was 21, so what did he know, but still...
We were created in the image of God, which includes desire. Consider our animal ancestors, the Bonobo for example who clearly engage in sex for purposes far beyond mere reproduction. Denying our anthropology to worship an idol of purity easily becomes a form of gnosticism. Granted, some folks are asexual, either biology, medical cause or were effectively made so due to abuse and/or errant "christian" sexual teachings such as the above, but this is not active denial.
Widowers/widows are in an odd spot, as many are outside the domain where reproduction is a factor. thus the iron age issues of property rights/lineage and related BS, such as church scandals, etc which primarily drive an idolatry of purity no longer apply, short of some gossipy church lady poking around where she has no business being. And at the same time, the desire for physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, and in some cases super high libido remain. For some widowers, its even trickier to navigate as an oldster in a nursing home than when they were a young teenager. In this, I think a healthier Christian sexual ethic would be better for all of Christianity, as contrasted with the "christian" falsehoods that are spun to prevent unwed motherhood and resultant scandal.
Otoh the severe changes in brain chemistry due to the loss of ones spouse, and the potential for things to go sideways shooting up multifold makes this not nearly as simple as it should be.
