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Severe debt causing severe anxiety.

Discussion in 'Anxiety, Panic & Agoraphobia' started by Andben, Oct 5, 2017.

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  1. Andben

    Andben New Member

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    Ive posted here a few times about my anxiety, it’s been horrid ever since it began end of last November.

    There are a lot of underlying reasons that I have anxiety, I believe the worst is the severe Debt. Some of you may know but when you are 30k in debt (credit card and personal loans) and have another 5k soon coming from a bad business venture you can imagine the stress it can cause. I make only about 42k a year, before taxes. Not to mention I have to pay rent and my car payment. $1100 together. I did make about 10-15k more when I had a second job reselling clearance items which promptly came to an end after the initial panic/anxiety attack last November.

    You can imagine how I feel. Like a failure. I failed myself and God. I try not to believe the words of the enemy, but they are true.

    I just don’t know what to do, I’m going to see a therapist soon for the anxiety/ocd. The hardest thing is going to bed, it’s so hard with these thoughts... I think how will I ever sleep thinking of all these things. Not to mention the horrible sensirometer Ocd. The only good nights of sleep are when I fully ignore the issue. Clearly not something I can do forever.


    If anyone else has any advice or comments, it would be most welcome. Right now I’m just praying for peace and a sound mind to get through this mess.
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2017
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  2. Catherineanne

    Catherineanne Well-Known Member

    +4,395
    United Kingdom
    Anglican
    Widowed
    You have a job; you have had two jobs before. You can do this! You are a long way from being a failure; you have a home, a car and a job. You have the ability to sort this one out.

    First thing if you have not already done so, is to cut up those credit cards; they are not doing you any favours. Second is to talk to your bank and credit card company about a repayment plan. They may be able to help you work out a budget that will work for the future. Your bank may even be able to loan you the money to repay all the other debts, on a lower rate of interest than you are currently paying; it does no harm to ask.

    Next, look at all your outgoings and try to trim every single one. Change suppliers if you can, to save money. Stop buying takeaway food of ANY kind, stop buying coffee out of the house. Use a water bottle, fill it from home and take it with you. Take home prepared sandwiches. Don't buy newspapers or magazines. Don't buy processed foods; cook your own. Don't buy any new clothes for a while. Ask family for gift vouchers or cash for Christmas and birthdays; use them to buy clothes, and make those clothes last.

    Google money saving ideas and use them; you can do this!

    Every single dollar you save will help you to reach your goal, and you can save every single day. You can do this; start today. When you feel discouraged just imagine how you will feel the day you finish repaying all those debts; you will get there one day; it will take time but the sooner you start the sooner that day will come.

    The anxiety will ease when you start to take back control. Step one is to cut that credit card into a thousand pieces.
     
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  3. Serving Zion

    Serving Zion Seek First His Kingdom & Righteousness

    +879
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    Heavenly Father, look at our poor brother here, he's got himself in such a mess, and you know how he got there Father, but it's really bad for his health and we know that the stress can cause serious damage. But we know that the whole world belongs to you and every one that is in it. We just know that you are able to do anything, but we also know that we have a hand to play too. So we thank you that our brother has lasted to the present day, so that he is able to still ask for help! We thank you for the lessons he has learned, and we thank you that he still has a place to sleep. We ask you to bless our brother with peace of mind to know that you don't judge him as being a failure, and to give him a new understanding of faith to know that you have made him become what he has become this day so that he can learn some very valuable lessons. Heavenly Father, we just really need to figure out how to lift our brother out of this place, so we ask that when he goes to see the therapist, he will already have come to trust that you are healing him, because through his trusting in you he will have shaken off some of the worry. We ask that the therapist will be able to build upon this change by helping to understand his core functionality that is causing this defectiveness, so that he can learn some strategies for reinforcing healthy philosophy. Lord, we ask for clear thinking so that he can make good decisions about how to climb out of this place, and we know that you have another job lined up for him so that he can work toward clearing it all up quicker, so we thank you for that too. But right now, what our brother needs is good sleep, to be free from the racing thoughts. So we ask for your divine power to just place a calm peacefulness upon his mind this night, knowing that we have prayed together and brought our matter before you. Lord God, I just thank you for our brother, that he is able to come forward and ask for help from the brethren. Jesus said that wherever two agree in request, you will do it for us. So we ask for a good night's sleep and a freedom from the anxiety of the financial situation he is in, and we look forward to coming together again tomorrow to brainstorm some more and try to figure out a constructive solution. So we thank you Lord God that you care for us, and we leave the matter in your care in Jesus' name, Amen.
     
  4. Larnievc

    Larnievc Well-Known Member

    +2,341
    Atheist
    Married
    UK-Labour
    First things first.

    Do you have your spending under control?
     
  5. Living Soul

    Living Soul Member

    160
    +126
    United States
    Christian
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    I think the first thing you need to do is sit down and write out a budget to figure out what your finances truly look like. Eliminate all of your unnecessary expenses immediately. Contact all of your debtors and negotiate a realistic payment plan. Pay off the debt with the highest monthly payment first. Then once it's paid off, put that money to the next one down the list, until all of your debt is paid.

    This might take a while to dig yourself out of, but the most important thing is...do not take on any more debt until they are all paid off...and preferably just never take on debt again, if possible.
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2017
  6. Andben

    Andben New Member

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    +70
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    Thank you all for the responses, I really appreciate it.

    Lack of a budget has really been a main factor in this. I have resolved to create a strict budget and adhere to it. But it will be very hard for the next year. After that I should get some breathing room as one of my loans(15k, 5k left, $486 monthly) will be paid a year from today. I already got multiple debt consolidation loans over the years so you can see how bad the issue was for me.

    Before I stopped the second job, I was just barely able to pay everything. The main issue now is too many liabilities and not enough monthly income to satisfy them which leads to more credit card spending for necessities. I will have to sell all of the extra things I don't really need and I might be able to keep everything current. Over the last year, I tried to distract myself from the anxiety by getting new things in hopes to see some relief, unfortunately, it was very self destructive.

    But, the cards are shredded now and the spending is done forever. I dont know what it is but its like I was addicted to buying things. I have had a serious problem with this for the last 5 years. Unfortunately getting new cards became like a hobby.

    It looks like this will take years to pay off, I have a hard time thinking about that because I have this all or nothing mindset for some reason. If I cant see a light at the end of the tunnel it becomes very hard for me to focus on that thing. I just need to dig down and push forward without looking back and rethinking of it continually.

    I am really praying I will have the motivation to get the accomplished and become mentally healthy again. I get these thoughts "you'll never get better until the debt is gone, which will be never" , so sick of it. If I can achieve mental clarity I can deal with this debt, thats what im praying for, no anxiety and mental clarity.
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2017
  7. Catherineanne

    Catherineanne Well-Known Member

    +4,395
    United Kingdom
    Anglican
    Widowed
    Well done for getting rid of those cards. That is 50% of the problem sorted already; you may have debts to pay but you won't accrue any more major expenses. And a year is a very short time; if one debt disappears in a year then that is a real result; something to look forward to.

    The clarity and lower anxiety will follow from taking control, and you are doing that, so well done you!

    Perhaps something to remember is that the richest person in the world is not the one with the most money; it is the one with the fewest needs.

    I would have a talk with your bank if your income does not cover your outgoings sufficiently. I am sure they will do their best to help. And perhaps find a new hobby, rather than credit cards. Perhaps collect something else inexpensive, like stamps or something.

    Something I did not mention before is frittering money; set aside a very small sum each week; perhaps just start with a dollar or two; take your time to work out what to buy with that money, and at the end of a week of saving and being careful treat yourself to a coffee, or an ice cream, or whatever you like. Take a walk in a park and enjoy that treat. Don't leave it until the debts are all gone to reward yourself for sorting this one out; you are sorting it out already.

    You can do this!
     
  8. Blessed Each Day

    Blessed Each Day Active Member Supporter

    356
    +469
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Obviously the spending is a problem, as has been stated, but you place too much stress on yourself. You're working, you've got money for food, water, shelter, and the necessities (I know it doesn't seem like much in our consumer-first world) but you've got it good! Those loans are secondary, the lenders will work with you, because they are usually more than willing to make a deal that works for you so they can get their money, and that doesn't work if you can't pay. You've already consolidated, so keep on the way you're going. God provides us with all we need, and the first step for you is trusting He will provide for you, and then being committed to the budget you've set for yourself (as boring as it may be along the way, but it's your path to financial freedom!) Don't let that make you anxious, let God take care of the anxiety, you've got a life to live!
     
  9. Andben

    Andben New Member

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    True, I need to just let it go and just live my life. I think I might need to find someone that does therapy, these deep set thinking patterns are hard to get out of once you've been dealing with them for a year.

    Its almost like i've become good at worrying and making up issues in my head to be anxious over. If that makes sense.

    But thanks for the advice!
     
  10. Blessed Each Day

    Blessed Each Day Active Member Supporter

    356
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    United States
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    Yeah, I know that first sentence of your reply is a lot easier said than done, but once you let God handle it, it really is a burden off your shoulders. Yes, I think they're called cognitive behavior therapy sessions or something like that, but they even have those online now (go figure.) I know exactly what you mean as well, and once you have it, it becomes a habit, but my prayers are with you to be strong, and let God help you to always remember what really matters in life, "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth" (Colossians 3:2).
     
  11. Basil the Great

    Basil the Great Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,192
    Christian
    Private
    US-Green
    Well, I only wish that our "fearless leaders" in Congress would be as concerned about the U.S. National Debt. as you are about your personal debt. I recall when I was fighting depression around 1990, I ran up credit card debt to $8,880. Once I made the decision to get out of the mess, the first thing that I did was to cut up all the credit cards. If at all possible, please do so. Then carefully consider the entire picture and all possible options. I do not know if bankruptcy is a viable option. I did not have to do so, but some people have little choice. It may not be a good option, but sometimes it is the only realistic option. Regardless, please do not let this matter destroy your health. God bless you. I will say a prayer for you tonight.
     
  12. Angeleyes7715

    Angeleyes7715 Well-Known Member

    +852
    United States
    Apostolic
    In Relationship
    I can't get a job above 38k a year with a b.s. in biochemistry and tons of internships and a publication, I can't even get a job that requires a bachelor's degree, and I'm being sued for 7000. I owe 26k in student loans and about 6000 in medical debt and owe 5000 to my grandfather still and live with my mother....I mean you could be me. But honestly, you are definitely not a failure. Just the salaries and things you mentioned are impressive to me. Your salary seems okay compared to a lot of people in this economy so maybe just decreasing your spending and style of living would help you. Look into minimalism get roommates etc etc. If you're stuck in a car payment that I can't help you with. That's how I got sued (evil auto loan companies). I just know I'll always get my cars off Craiglist for cheap now. I haven't had a problem with that so far and don't have car payments.

    Let's see, can you make more passive income? Start an online course or be a YouTuber? Save a chunk of money and then try lending club? Idk was just thinking of anything really.

    Sorry if I'm not much help. I'm in debt too and it stinks but I think your situation sounds hopeful. It doesn't sounds as bad as you think it is.
     
  13. Angeleyes7715

    Angeleyes7715 Well-Known Member

    +852
    United States
    Apostolic
    In Relationship
    Two last resorts bankruptcy and debt consolidation.... Just some last thought options.
     
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