... killed myself?
I've struggled with major clinical depression and chronic generalized anxiety disorder longer than I can possibly remember. I can't do anything. I'm not in the right mental state to work or drive (quoted by my feelings and my own psychiatrist). I've tried EVERYTHING to even lessen them, but I just get worse and worse every year.
I'm literally dead inside and I don't even have a speck of motivation to do anything anymore. I'm plain, absolutely miserable. I can't even begin to explain to you what I go through every day.
I mean, I love God. I've accepted Jesus into my heart, I've accepted Him completely as my one and only Lord and Savior. I put God FIRST ALWAYS. I go to Him first always. I accept that I sin, and I always ask for forgiveness.
I just can't live like this anymore. I want to be at peace and happy in Heaven with Him SO BADLY, I want to be happy for once in my life.
Please, seriousness. I don't want to go to hell. I just want to die and be happy with God.
Hi Eunoia, I am so very sad for you that you are struggling so with life these days. Praying for you now!!
You need to hang on to the great promises and love of God to see you through all of this Sister. Life is not easy in general, but it can be particularly hard for Christians because we all have a common "enemy" who hates us and works to see us harmed or destroyed (if that was possible), simply because we belong to the Lord now.
Here are some quotes that I try to remember in difficult times, and/or times where I'm not sure what my next "move" should be, etc. Hopefully at least one or two of them will be an encouragement to you
"Two words will help you cope when you run low on hope: accept and trust." ~Pastor Chuck Swindoll
"When we talk about perfect trust, we're talking about what gives us roots, character, the stability to handle the hard times. Trusting God doesn't change our circumstances. Perfect trust in Him changes us." ~Pastor Chuck Swindoll
"Be obedient even when you do not know where obedience may lead you."~Sinclair B. Ferguson
God has promised to give us no more than He knows we can handle, that He will be there for us, especially in the difficult times, that He will strengthen us/carry us when we trust Him/wait patiently for Him, and that His plan for our future is a glorious one, that He will see us prosper, not be harmed.
Isaiah 40
31 Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 41
10 Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Jeremiah 29
11 I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
1 Corinthians 10
13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you will be able to endure it.
Finally, here are a few more, by missionary and author, Elisabeth Elliot, who has certainly known suffering:
"You are loved with an everlasting love. And underneath are the everlasting arms."
"Sometimes life is so hard you can only do the next thing. Whatever that is just do the next thing. God will meet you there."
"The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances."
"Leave it all in the Hands that were wounded for you."
"Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering…. The love of God did not protect His own Son…. He will not necessarily protect us – not from anything it takes to make us like His Son."
In Christ,
David
p.s. - in the worst of times especially, I try to find things to thank Him for as often as I can. It helps me remember how truly blessed I am, even in the midst of such times
Philippians 4
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
