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Seriously, how important is physical attraction in a relationship.

Discussion in 'Christian Teens' started by Joey16Vargas, Jun 14, 2020.

  1. Joey16Vargas

    Joey16Vargas New Member

    I've heard over and over again “outer beauty fades, inner beauty is what matters” - yeah sure that sounds pretty catchy, but let's be real for once, if you're not so good-looking, not many people will want to know if you have inner beauty- but I was wondering how this can apply to the situation I'm in. I created a facebook account to get an information about college, then a got a friend request, it's a girl, we chatted exactly a week ago (june 7), everything went awesome, we chatted for like 7 hours, everything was fine. Last tuesday I talked to her again, but this time there was no answer, I felt down. Last friday I talked to her again, but strangely this time she didn't even get the message (we both were online, I don't know what happened), and I don't if I should try to make contact with her again. We both live in the same town, actually a bit close from one another. My problem is, I REALLY struggle with self-appearence. I'm not even close of being as tall as I'd wish (I'm only 5'6 ), I have acne scars all over my face because of a brutal 5-year war against it (please, please leave that part alone, it hurts when people recommend something about it), I'm not really muscular -but I'm back to the gym to modify it- and I'm an introvert, I'm not the guy who speaks all the time, I only speak when I'm comfortable in a situation. She's a really devout christian, plus very smart, and extremelly beautiful. So I don't know if I may be good enough, if I ever should message her again, I'm afraid she feels like I'm going too strong, and I don't want that.
    Could you please give me an advice? Thank you

    PS sorry if this was too long
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  2. Conclusive

    Conclusive New Member

    I am not one to give advice in this situation, but the silence of the forum dictates that I share at least something... For starters I wouldn't attempt to quantify attraction based on your frequency of online messages. To some extent analyzing these instances in depth can give some clues, but overall you are just being given an invitation to overthink things. The point I'm making is this, online conversations are not the do all to end all. You two don't really even know each other that well so who is to say that you have already blown your shot. If you are interested in her and think she is worth pursuing than do just that! Go out and meet up with some other mutual friends (or any larger group of friends) so you can find out what she is really like. I try to imagine that the online world doesn't have a complete say in real life and most of the time it really doesn't. Facebook belongs to the online setting, sporadic behavior is allowed because of it's online nature, and decisions are made irregularly.

    As to how you might actually meet in person... Invitations to group events seem less threatening and stressful. Especially if you have good relationships with other younger Christian individuals who would be willing to make a new friend. You can't discredit your ability to be something more with anyone based on appearance as in the end, character makes a much bigger imprint. You have to make your character/individuality (whatever it's called) stand out more than your appearance. You could offer to pick her up as a means to introduce yourself more formally...

    No matter the occasion, no matter the decision, best of luck on your future endeavors. Don't be held back by your lack of confidence in your appearance, hold true to your integrity and to your morals and let that be the displayed feature in your life. You don't have to take my, "advice" at face value but I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone as an introvert (I am in the same boat). -God bless