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Serious Issue(Please try not to flame me)

Discussion in 'Struggles with Sexuality' started by Ultima4257, Mar 21, 2010.

  1. Ultima4257

    Ultima4257 Regular Member

    411
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    Hey everyone,

    I am not sure how to put this, so I'll just say it. I am a guy, and I am really struggling with sexual fantasies pertaining to rape. Now let me just say first that I have not physical done this act, it is only a fantasy. I know that I am scum and very much in need of some healing, so you can flame me if you want, but trust me there is nothing that you could say that I haven't said to myself already. My question is, what really causes these desires. I am trying to find the root of it so I can deal with it, so any help would be appreciated.
     
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  2. RuthD

    RuthD blah blah blah Supporter

    +14,126
    United States
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    I think it would be better for you if you change the type of fantasies you have. Maybe more wholesome ones. Best of luck to you. I am praying for you.
     
  3. Kristen.NewCreation

    Kristen.NewCreation Well-Known Member

    +3,938
    United States
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    Have you considered talking to a counselor about the root of your fantasies? I can imagine that it's uncomfortable to be going through what you are going through at this time. There is some research that suggests that what we put into our mind is what comes out of it, so as the previous post suggests, trying to replace the fantasy with something positive is a good suggestion.

    Something that has worked for me when having thoughts that are thoughts I wouldn't want is to pray at that time, and to stop the thought by confronting it inside my head.
     
  4. Criada

    Criada Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,795
    Christian Seeker
    Married
    Firstly, you are NOT scum!!!
    You are being tempted, and temptation is not sin. You obviously know that acting on these fantasies would be very wrong, and entertaining them when they occur is a bad idea as well. There are things you can do to distract yourself, but you may need some professional help to learn to do that.
    I know that talking to a counsellor must seem very scary... but they are used to dealing with this kind of thing, and they won't judge or condemn you. Admitting here that you have this problem must have taken a great deal of courage, and it's a huge first step to finding help.
    No one is judging you.. we all have our own issues and our own temptations... so please, don't condemn yourself.
    God loves you, very, very much, and with His help you can deal with this and move on.
    Praying for you :hug:
     
  5. Inspired

    Inspired only hurts when I breathe

    +193
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    In this fantasy you would be in total control. Is it possible you feel like you don't have control in other places in your life? If you aren't acting on it, you're not scum. Counseling would be a good idea though, they can help you realize the root cause, once that is done and you can address that and move on.
     
  6. Saucy

    Saucy Fear is faith in the enemy. Supporter

    +15,206
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    There is something deep inside of you that inspires these thoughts. Truth is, every single person on earth has a deep, dark desire that they could never tell anyone without others looking at them like they are scum. The bible says that our righteousness is as filthy rags. That's as good as we can ever be...filthy. The only way to take control of these desires is to die to self, give yourself fully over to God and let Him shine through you. Yes, it's very hard to do, but it can be done. Prayers and best wishes to you!
     
  7. Havard

    Havard Junior Member

    18
    +0
    Christian
    The root of your desires is sin, and Christ has already dealt with that. You have to accept that and let him change you. Your desires will not disappear straight away, because of the sin we are born into, but I believe that with enough patience in God they will disappear.

    I've been struggling for a long time with a fetish. It makes me want to use people in a realisation of what I fantasise, and I would never actually do it, just as you would never actually commit rape. Still, my mind is polluted with fantasies and for a long, long time I was trying to understand why I can't shake the desires. However, I didn't get anywhere and I'm still sinning in my mind today. I came to realise that I can't do anything on my own to remove the cause of my thoughts, because that cause is our human nature to sin, which only God can remove. I have to accept that I'll keep failing, and accept that I am forgiven for every failure. This makes me feel more patient that God will change me in time, even though I will mess up along the way. Accepting weakness is the first step, and he who does that is more justified than he who doesn't (Luke 18: 9 - 14).

    This doesn't mean just sitting back and doing nothing. Just don't dwell on the cause. Focus on the solution and let God guide you to it, accepting that it will take time. Opening up is definately the first step. In a case like this, the solution which seems scariest is probably the best and probably the one God wants you to take. A counselor would be a good idea for you (and for me, for that matter).
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2010
  8. Holygeneral79

    Holygeneral79 Junior Member

    60
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    Single
    Trust me, there's not limit to what the human mind can think of when it is deprived of the truth. You need to put the word of God in that mind so that it cleans the impurity. Just because you fantasize about rape doesn't make it any more scum-like than fantasizing about any other sexual thing; sin is sin. Pray for the cleansing of your mind and heart and read the Bible to put God's words in your head, instead of sexual fantasies.
     
  9. circa02

    circa02 Regular Member

    +37
    Non-Denom
    Single
    It could very well be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Rape fantasies are a very common obsession, I have it also, along with other evil ones. For years I felt so guilty, even to the point of being suicidal. But eventfully God let me know, in no uncertain terms, that it wasn't really ME, and that he didn't hold it against me. I suggest you look into OCD, you might have it and just not have been diagnosed yet. If you truly don't want those thoughts, then it's not four fault.
     
  10. brandon.j

    brandon.j The Pro Security/Network Eng become Psych Major

    24
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    US-Constitution
    What your facing is a paraphilia condition known as Raptophilia which is persistent rape fantasies. It's a mental illness and you can get help. I'm working my was to becoming a clinical psychologist and I've done a lot of study in the area because of a friend that confided in me her paraphilia and being too afraid to seek help.

    I highly suggest you visit a mental health professional. There are a lot of studies that show that self control is in finite supply and there are many cases where it got to the point where individuals can't control themselves anymore.

    God Bless and my prayers will be with you
     
  11. brandon.j

    brandon.j The Pro Security/Network Eng become Psych Major

    24
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    Single
    US-Constitution
    double post, please ignore
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2010
  12. Elvenkind

    Elvenkind Newbie

    156
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    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    That was the first thing that crossed my mind too when I read about the fantasies.

    And I guess it is a desire for sex, but only you can know why rape is something that turns you on. Do you have problems finding a relationship where normal sex could be possible? Do you have some kind of hatred for women, a bitterness from wanting sex, but not getting it, and then wanting a kind of revenge? Is it something you would actually want to do in reality, or just something in your fantasies? Can you feel satisfied without bringing rape into your fantasies? When did it start? How did it start? Or has it always been there? Maybe if you talk more about it someone can see something you can't see. Confessing is good when it comes to sins that traps us, and it is said that the truth shall set us free.
     
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