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Separation/divorce Thoughts

Discussion in 'Prayer Wall' started by lonelyandscared, Jan 11, 2003.

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  1. lonelyandscared

    lonelyandscared GOD CAN DO GREAT THINGS!

    I have spent a while today researching the whole range of feelings and emotions associated with the shock of separation and preparing for divorce. If anything, in our American culture the swapping of values for materialism is having HUGE impact upon those institutions such as family and marriage and values that provide the very strengths upon which to support them. It's no wonder there is a 50 to 70 percent divorce rate! When marriage gets to be a challenge the couselors preach individuation, self actualization and the need to address personal feelings to facilitate a less painful divorce and the lawyers kick in to destroy the other partner in the relationship to facilitate a greater yield of the marital assets. What ever happened to the Christian power of love, commitment, forgiveness, respect, and the willingness to work together to build and save marriages? The churches want to keep their hands clean so they refer those in difficult times to counselors. Few, very few, resources are available for Christian couples in times of stress to obtain real Christian support and guidance! So, the divorce rate continues to rise and a lasting family and marriage is rapidly becoming a thing of the past. And yet, divorce is second only to the death of a spouse as a stressor. IF the churches and if Christians in our culture are truly concerned with high divorce rates, the drop in church roles, the decline of faith and values in our society, rising crime rates, rapidly declining tithing and contributions then PERHAPS it is time that the churches...and I mean ALL of them..actually do that which was an integral part of the Christian model..providing teaching as to the foundational values of marriage, provide intercession for those in difficult times, be willing to get involved...actively involved..when a marriage is foundering, expect certain levels of Christian adherance to Christian principles within the church community and be willing to admonish, support and counsel when there are obvious breaches. If we lose Christian marriages and the basic values and commitments that are the foundation of those marriages then we make ourselves vulnerable to and fully deserving of whatever the world throws at us. Rather than homes, families and relationships we will have only ouselves to blame when life is little more than working to make money to purchase, purchase, purchase and relations and institutions will perish as the individual is interested only in self and possessions. Anything as long as we FEEL good for the moment. At that point self replaces spouse, family, and God and nothing is permanent, nor needs to be, as long as there are good lawyers and counselors and self becomes God.

    I did find the web site below for those currently trying to deal and understand some of the issues that you are suddenly encountering. ANY additional Christian reference sites on coping with separation and divorce would be appreciated. http://www.divorceinfo.com/grieving.htm
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. carmen

    carmen Active Member

    Great post really reveals how the church and families are under attack.
    Thanks for posting will put that in favorites and have a good look later.
  3. Blessed-one

    Blessed-one a long journey ahead

    thanks for posting it, even though it may not be relevant to me now.... :)
    i appreciate your thought in wanting to help others in similar situations.

    will continue to pray for you and your wife.
  4. Jesus_humbleservant

    Jesus_humbleservant New Member


    Dear Lonely and Scared,

    My upcoming divorce is this very Monday, February 24th and I am scared to the point that my nerves are basically shot!  I did not want this divorce but I had no choice.  After being in a loveless, non-Christian law bound union I was dying a slow death on a daily basis.  It nearly took my soul as well.  I prayed and prayed and agonized and agonized for years over what I should do until that fateful day came and the Lord shown the way with a powerful sign straight from his divine hand.  I filed and the rest as they say will be history very soon.  After 12 years with one person my new living status is going to be difficult even so.  I am not the least bit happy or ecstatic about the events of a divorce.  It was because of my first divorce that I left my home church that I was raised in.  Being only one of two persons divorced in the church I and my toddler daughter were treated as though we had leprosy.  The men ignored us and the women would not even associate with me.  After most of the congregation had known me since I was a child they scoffed at me now.  That was one of the most hurtful ordeals that I had to live with in my entire life up to that point.  I left and never looked back.  It was my humble opinion that the people I thought I had known as Christians were not behaving in a Christian manner at all.  Both of my divorces are and were legal by Biblical laws, as well.  I knew that God supported me and that was all that was and is important to me.  

    Anyway, I agree with everything you shared 200%.  What is going to become of our American families and most importantly our children if all that they are taught is to concentrate soley on self and self-satisfaction without giving anything in return.  The most dangerous aspect of all of this is that everything in the beginning starts with the home base, which should be the foundation and a stable one at that for the sake of our children.  With the way that relationships and the few families out there are today what kind of leaders are being produced for the next generation that follows?  I am almost scared to even think that far into the future.  Therefore, I pray and pray a lot.  We can not control the situation but prayer can influence and change things that man can't.  

    Thank you again and may our Lord bless you,

  5. Hopeful

    Hopeful Active Member

    thanks for the post l&s, i pray that God will be with you, and Jesus_humble servant, rest assured that only the will of God will come to pass in our lives, :hug: :pray:
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