Senate Candidate Expects His Wife to Fix Him Dinner Every Night

[Paidiske]

Paul told the men to love their wives, but he told the
wives to honor or respect their husbands. Why was that, anyone?
Ephesians 5

In the culture of that day, telling men to love their wives was shocking. Telling wives to honour their husbands was telling them not to take advantage of their new equality.

Today, when we are socially and culturally equal, the advice we give should be geared to men and women in our culture, where the needs are different.

What I'm saying is that men and women don't have fundamentally different needs as human beings, but our culture profoundly shapes how we interact.

 

[Archivist]

What do you think flaming entails?
"He is single basically because his attitude toward women [stinks]."
While the [stinks] was implied, he wasn't giving the guy a compliment.
And his being single had nothing to do with the OP, much less why.

He is a candidate which makes him a public figure. Saying such things about him isn't flaming. Public figures are held here and elsewhere to a different level.

 

[MoonlessNight]

I don't think that noting that someone's attitude towards women may contribute to his lack of success in relationships, is egregious inflammatory comment.

It's hard to think of a more weaselly word than "egregious."

 

[Paidiske]

Take it up with whomever wrote the rules, Moonless. I'm just clarifying what they actually say.

 

[Go Braves]

How about, "I will love, honour, and cherish her; I will work together with her to work towards our shared and individual life goals, aspirations and dreams; I will respect her as a person in her own right, with her own needs and wants, and seek to make sure that our relationship is not one-way but genuinely mutually supportive?"

That's what I want in a husband; it's what I observe most women want in a husband.

That's what most decent folks want in their spouse. That's what I'll do for my girlfriend when we get married. I know she'll do the same for me. Bet you have a happy, healthy marriage, with that attitude of yours. Good.

 

[pat34lee]

He is a candidate which makes him a public figure. Saying such things about him isn't flaming. Public figures are held here and elsewhere to a different level.

A different standard then. Whose?

 

[pat34lee]

What I'm saying is that men and women don't have fundamentally different needs as human beings, but our culture profoundly shapes how we interact.

I think we have very different needs from our spouses.
Our brains are wired so differently, it's a wonder we are
able to communicate together.

 

[Go Braves]

What do you think flaming entails?
"He is single basically because his attitude toward women [stinks]."
While the [stinks] was implied, he wasn't giving the guy a compliment.
And his being single had nothing to do with the OP, much less why.

Well it doesn't entail what you think it does.

I didn't name-call, on account of how that's childish & not the way a grown Christian man ought to behave. I didn't cuss, for the same reason. The Senate Candidate chose to publicly make the comments he did, so folks in the public get to air their views on it. His intent for making the comments is pretty obvious.

Not giving him a compliment doesn't = flaming him. Being critical doesn't = flaming him. Shoot, there's hundreds of posts on this forum that are far harsher about Obama, Hillary, plenty of other politicians, that are allowable. This General Politics section would be totally futile if there was so much sensitivity that folks couldn't give their honest opinions about politicians we're talking about.

Now, I didn't say that he's single because his attitude stinks, but if that's the word you want to use, OK. Him still being single that late into his life when he's got plenty of other things going for him, that has got EVERYTHING to do with the OP. What folks say, what attitudes they carry around with them, that's got consequences. The Bible tells us again & again, we reap what we sow.

 

[Archivist]

A different standard then. Whose?

Paidiske has already explained what the rules are on CF. As to the general rule regarding public figures, I suggest you read NY Times v. Sullivan.

In either event what was said here was not flaming.

 

[Paidiske]

I think we have very different needs from our spouses.
Our brains are wired so differently, it's a wonder we are
able to communicate together.

He plays it for cheap laughs, but what he's saying has no real basis.

 

[pat34lee]

The Bible tells us again & again, we reap what we sow.

It also says the rain falls on the just and the unjust.
This from 53 year old who has never been married.
There can be many reasons other than his attitude
and what he expects of a wife.

 

[pat34lee]

He plays it for cheap laughs, but what he's saying has no real basis.

Actually, it does. I just like how that guy says it.

Do men and women have different brains?

Brain Differences Between Genders

Now, back to my 'nothing' box.

 

[FireDragon76]

My girlfriend and I are equals in our relationship. Neither of us is the head. Having said that, the friends I have who do see the husband as the head see it as a relationship where husband and wife talk things through and the husband makes the final descusion after respectfully listening to his wife.

That's what traditional relationships in marriage used to mean. Even back in the day, the idea of the man demanding unquestioning obedience was understood as insensitive, and was never considered particularly Christian outside of sects and cults that were usually reacting out of fear to some new political or historical development.

 

[FireDragon76]

The point here is about having freedom to discern one's own calling, gifts and passions; not have a path imposed externally, whether by parents or spouse or society more broadly.

I was raised with the pressure of high expectations and it was damaging, so I understand what you are saying.

I know in my church there are some people whose adult and teenage children are struggling with depression and highly medicated, and yet distant from the church congregation in which they grew up, and I have to wonder if it isn't because our churches have failed to articulate a way other than mindless conformity. They may think of themselves as good and nice people, but even good and nice people can put enormous pressure on other human beings to live up to standards that ultimately fail to respect people as individuals. When authority is in the mix, it's even worse.

 

[Paidiske]

Actually, it does. I just like how that guy says it.

Do men and women have different brains?

Brain Differences Between Genders

Now, back to my 'nothing' box.

Even the articles you've linked admit that these are generalisations, not hard and fast rules. There are men who think more like a stereotypical woman, and vice versa. The difference between the sexes (on average) is much less than the diversity across each sex.

This kind of stereotyping is both untrue (of many) and damaging, and needs to be challenged, not perpetuated.

 

[Go Braves]

It also says the rain falls on the just and the unjust.
This from 53 year old who has never been married.
There can be many reasons other than his attitude
and what he expects of a wife.

The man who never gets married may feel that it's unjust. Doesn't mean that it is. Might be, might not. Could be that God is being just, protecting ladies from a marriage to somebody who won't treat her right. A wise man is going to think through why he's unmarried well beyond the normal marrying age, what to change about that. A stubborn man will just feel like a victim, change nothing of himself, keep being single till he dies. Nobody is entitled to marriage. Especially not a happy marriage. That is something that's earned from the 2 working on it.

Pat, I knew you'd never been married, but I don't know the rest of the deal with you. All I can see here of you is your attitude from your posts. We see a lot more of this senate candidate. Like I said before, this fellow Sykes has got the looks, money, education, job, all that, that would make him a 'catch' to many ladies. It's pretty reasonable to think his attitude is a factor in why he's not married at his late age.
I don't know if all this stuff he's saying is sincere or just an act to appeal to the Breitbart base. It's why I said it's pretty insulting not just to ladies but on account of how it's enforcing a bad stereotype Republicans have gotten the past few years.

 

[Go Braves]

He plays it for cheap laughs, but what he's saying has no real basis.

I didn't watch the whole video on account of how it's 13 minutes long. I did Google the man speaking. He said more marriages would be better if both were nice to each other. That I agree with. Have a feeling you're right that what's said in the video was for laughs.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

On another note, my wife expects me to make dinner every night. So, there's that.

Between consulting adults who cares who cooks dinner? Personally, I hate my cooking so yes, my wife cooks 19 out of the 20 meals here.

I know several politicians and the gentleman's wife will be going out to eat (many fine meals) out so let's not cry for her.

My wife and I have made a deal, she cooks dinner and I herd the goats.

M-Bob

 

[Archivist]

Between consulting adults who cares who cooks dinner? Personally, I hate my cooking so yes, my wife cooks 19 out of the 20 meals here.

I know several politicians and the gentleman's wife will be going out to eat (many fine meals) out so let's not cry for her.

My wife and I have made a deal, she cooks dinner and I herd the goats.

M-Bob

And as long as that is willingly agreed to by the parties that isn’t any problem. The issue here is not only the man saying that he expects his wife to cook and have his dinner on the table at a certain time, but that he also expects his daughters will do the same thing for their husbands.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

The issue here is not only the man saying that he expects his wife to cook and have his dinner on the table at a certain time, but that he also expects his daughters will do the same thing for their husbands.

True, more in the Good Old Days were raised this way. Such as my sister in Alabama. A very successful Lady who was taught by my father and step mom to take care of her husband -- which she does -- and he spoils her. Kind of works both ways in a loving home.

Note -- they have very large yards to mow in Alabama. Does my sister help Stan mow the grass -- NO.
I think that she prefers cooking.

MB