Self-esteem vs. pridefulness

[LovebirdsFlying]

Where do you draw the line? How can you tell one apart from the other?

I, for one, have trouble feeling good about myself when I do something well. In the past few years, since marrying the wonderful husband God has given me, I have learned to drive a car. Nobody had bothered teaching me before, even when I asked them to, because they assumed my anxiety was too great and I wouldn't be able to learn. I have also lost a considerable amount of weight, overcome disability enough to get a job, and even got promoted to supervisor. My next step is overcoming my fear of driving on the interstate. My job currently runs from 3:30 PM to midnight. I am taking advantage of the light traffic conditions to go ahead and ease myself into it. So, for the past few nights on the job, I have been taking the interstate home. Still getting used to the idea. After 7 years of being licensed, I'm just now getting to where driving, itself, feels natural to me.

What keeps echoing in my head is that none of this is any big accomplishment. People drive themselves to work every day, yes, even on the interstate, and they don't see it as anything worth celebrating or bragging about. They're just doing what needs to be done. As for losing weight, I shouldn't have gotten fat in the first place. All I'm doing is correcting wrongs. So I finally decided to cut the nonsense and act like a functional adult human being for a change. What do I want, a cookie or something?

I also have trouble giving orders and asserting authority, even when I legitimately should. Me, pull rank on an employee who wants to get away with coming to work late, and/or openly resists following directions? Yes, I've got that word "supervisor" in my job title, and yes, other supervisors are backing me up when I enforce the rule, but I feel like such a crud doing it. I don't want to be the meanie. Echo in my head goes like, "Well, listen to YOU, Miss High and Mighty. Who do you think you are, anyway?" I'm the supervisor, that's who I am. But I've been programmed for so much of my life to think this isn't my role. I'm the one who follows, not the one who leads. I've got to get over that, if I'm going to succeed in my job. And I'm determined to succeed.

So, those of you who do are in leadership roles, those of you who have climbed mountains and feel good about it, how do you answer it when the voices from your past get sarcastic with remarks like, "Well, don't break your arm patting yourself on the back!" Is it ever OK to tell yourself you did a good job, or that you deserve something positive that happened? Where does it cross into being prideful, and therefore a sin?

 

[Dansiph]

Where do you draw the line? How can you tell one apart from the other?

I, for one, have trouble feeling good about myself when I do something well. In the past few years, since marrying the wonderful husband God has given me, I have learned to drive a car. Nobody had bothered teaching me before, even when I asked them to, because they assumed my anxiety was too great and I wouldn't be able to learn. I have also lost a considerable amount of weight, overcome disability enough to get a job, and even got promoted to supervisor. My next step is overcoming my fear of driving on the interstate. My job currently runs from 3:30 PM to midnight. I am taking advantage of the light traffic conditions to go ahead and ease myself into it. So, for the past few nights on the job, I have been taking the interstate home. Still getting used to the idea. After 7 years of being licensed, I'm just now getting to where driving, itself, feels natural to me.

What keeps echoing in my head is that none of this is any big accomplishment. People drive themselves to work every day, yes, even on the interstate, and they don't see it as anything worth celebrating or bragging about. They're just doing what needs to be done. As for losing weight, I shouldn't have gotten fat in the first place. All I'm doing is correcting wrongs. So I finally decided to cut the nonsense and act like a functional adult human being for a change. What do I want, a cookie or something?

I also have trouble giving orders and asserting authority, even when I legitimately should. Me, pull rank on an employee who wants to get away with coming to work late, and/or openly resists following directions? Yes, I've got that word "supervisor" in my job title, and yes, other supervisors are backing me up when I enforce the rule, but I feel like such a crud doing it. I don't want to be the meanie. Echo in my head goes like, "Well, listen to YOU, Miss High and Mighty. Who do you think you are, anyway?" I'm the supervisor, that's who I am. But I've been programmed for so much of my life to think this isn't my role. I'm the one who follows, not the one who leads. I've got to get over that, if I'm going to succeed in my job. And I'm determined to succeed.

So, those of you who do are in leadership roles, those of you who have climbed mountains and feel good about it, how do you answer it when the voices from your past get sarcastic with remarks like, "Well, don't break your arm patting yourself on the back!" Is it ever OK to tell yourself you did a good job, or that you deserve something positive that happened? Where does it cross into being prideful, and therefore a sin?

This is a tough one I can see your dilemma. The only part that's black and white is you being a supervisor. It's ok to be assertive if you're in a position of authority. I did think of a Bible verse Proverbs 27:2 so I will say congrats on your accomplisments.

How did you lose the weight btw?

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

^^That's a great Scripture. Thank you.

Good old fashioned healthy eating plus exercise, is how I lost the weight. Not starvation. Just healthy eating. Non-starchy vegetables first, then low-fat proteins, then fruits. Starches and fats much farther down the list, but they don't have to be gone entirely. That's what somebody else here on CF taught me.

I found that the worst thing I can do to myself is to say, "No, I can't eat that. Ever. In any amount." Because then I'm going to want it more, and eventually I'll binge. My old cycle of starving myself until I couldn't stand it anymore, and then stuffing my face, was actually causing me to eat more in the long run. Spreading it out more evenly, and making sure I don't ever get too hungry, was decreasing my overall calorie intake. Up the exercise along with it, and the weight started coming off. I lost a total of 70 pounds, then unfortunately regained 15 after I started the office job. Couldn't exercise as much. But now that 15 is coming back off too. I want to keep going down. More to lose. Still in the "overweight" category, although no longer "morbidly obese."

 

[Dansiph]

^^That's a great Scripture. Thank you.

Good old fashioned healthy eating plus exercise, is how I lost the weight. Not starvation. Just healthy eating. Non-starchy vegetables first, then low-fat proteins, then fruits. Starches and fats much farther down the list, but they don't have to be gone entirely. That's what somebody else here on CF taught me.

I found that the worst thing I can do to myself is to say, "No, I can't eat that. Ever. In any amount." Because then I'm going to want it more, and eventually I'll binge. My old cycle of starving myself until I couldn't stand it anymore, and then stuffing my face, was actually causing me to eat more in the long run. Spreading it out more evenly, and making sure I don't ever get too hungry, was decreasing my overall calorie intake. Up the exercise along with it, and the weight started coming off. I lost a total of 70 pounds, then unfortunately regained 15 after I started the office job. Couldn't exercise as much. But now that 15 is coming back off too. I want to keep going down. More to lose. Still in the "overweight" category, although no longer "morbidly obese."

That's a good approach. It's easy to go to extremes and then cave. I usually last a week on reduced calories then cave and go right back to eating unhealthy. Exercise I can do but as they say you can't outrun a bad diet.

Do you have any advice on getting off to a good start?

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

That's a good approach. It's easy to go to extremes and then cave. I usually last a week on reduced calories then cave and go right back to eating unhealthy. Exercise I can do but as they say you can't outrun a bad diet.

Do you have any advice on getting off to a good start?

Filling up on a variety of healthy low-calorie vegetables leaves you less room for the junk. If you're not hungry, you don't crave as much.

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Where do you draw the line? How can you tell one apart from the other?

I, for one, have trouble feeling good about myself when I do something well. In the past few years, since marrying the wonderful husband God has given me, I have learned to drive a car. Nobody had bothered teaching me before, even when I asked them to, because they assumed my anxiety was too great and I wouldn't be able to learn. I have also lost a considerable amount of weight, overcome disability enough to get a job, and even got promoted to supervisor. My next step is overcoming my fear of driving on the interstate. My job currently runs from 3:30 PM to midnight. I am taking advantage of the light traffic conditions to go ahead and ease myself into it. So, for the past few nights on the job, I have been taking the interstate home. Still getting used to the idea. After 7 years of being licensed, I'm just now getting to where driving, itself, feels natural to me.

What keeps echoing in my head is that none of this is any big accomplishment. People drive themselves to work every day, yes, even on the interstate, and they don't see it as anything worth celebrating or bragging about. They're just doing what needs to be done. As for losing weight, I shouldn't have gotten fat in the first place. All I'm doing is correcting wrongs. So I finally decided to cut the nonsense and act like a functional adult human being for a change. What do I want, a cookie or something?

I also have trouble giving orders and asserting authority, even when I legitimately should. Me, pull rank on an employee who wants to get away with coming to work late, and/or openly resists following directions? Yes, I've got that word "supervisor" in my job title, and yes, other supervisors are backing me up when I enforce the rule, but I feel like such a crud doing it. I don't want to be the meanie. Echo in my head goes like, "Well, listen to YOU, Miss High and Mighty. Who do you think you are, anyway?" I'm the supervisor, that's who I am. But I've been programmed for so much of my life to think this isn't my role. I'm the one who follows, not the one who leads. I've got to get over that, if I'm going to succeed in my job. And I'm determined to succeed.

So, those of you who do are in leadership roles, those of you who have climbed mountains and feel good about it, how do you answer it when the voices from your past get sarcastic with remarks like, "Well, don't break your arm patting yourself on the back!" Is it ever OK to tell yourself you did a good job, or that you deserve something positive that happened? Where does it cross into being prideful, and therefore a sin?

Well let’s see know.
Telling yourself bad things about yourself about a good act you did,
*you are equally self-absorbed.* (not saying you are, but I think a lot of people who try to humble themselves think less of themselves, when in reality we’re supposed to think of ourselves *less*..)
I always wondered how am I supposed to think of myself?
By knowing you are a working progress.
When you do a good deed, try to glorify God, thanking Him for giving you this moment! Thanking Him for giving you that strength, and for your development!
Also, congratulations!

 

[Endeavourer]

Lovebirds, those are wonderful accomplishments. Many kudos to you.

With respect to your hesitation to allow yourself to take supervisory actions, you are being paid by the company to oversee their investment in the department you are supervising. They are trusting you to help them get the best return on the money they are spending to pay people to get a job done. It's not really about you, it's about your responsibility to them to be a good steward of the department.

All of the best to you!!

 

[public hermit]

I, for one, have trouble feeling good about myself when I do something well.

Please don't, if you can help it. We were created to do things well. And, we were created to go through a process of learning how to do things well. We come into this world with different temperaments, experiences, and situations. Those who seem to do things with no afterthought have other areas where they struggle. The standard for what is good, and true, and beautiful about humanity by far exceeds anything any of us has ever done. Christ is the standard of what humanity will be, we are all trying to reach it. Someone who drives well, with no apprehension, may not be as conscientious or articulate as you. What matters is not so much, "Do they do things well without thinking?" But, "Do they think about what they don't do well?"

What keeps echoing in my head is that none of this is any big accomplishment.

Nonsense. It is a big accomplishment, because anything done well is done as it should be. You are taking your time, considering how to avoid mishaps. If only half the idiots driving these days would take so much in consideration! I guess my point is, you are not taking pride, you are realizing good things. Realizing good things is what we were created to do. If you feel good about that, it only makes sense. And, since we we're created to do these good things, God is glorified when we succeed and we acknowledge that with thanksgiving. Job well done!

I also have trouble giving orders and asserting authority, even when I legitimately should.

I can only share my experience. When I was (much) younger, I ran a telephone line construction crew. On a semi-regular basis, I would make sure when we pulled up on a job I would jump out the truck and begin to do the hardest task on that particular job. Usually it involved digging. So, I would jump out of the truck and start digging. Now, half the crew was just standing there with their hands in their pockets as the "boss" was sweating. I set a precedent which said, "It doesn't hurt my feelings to do the hardest part. What are you going to do?" So, when I asked them to do something, they would just do it. What could they say?

I don't know if you can translate that into your situation. If you can find a way to do something like that, it will deal with the question: Who am I to say, 'Do this'? You are the one because 1) you have already done it, 2) you have better things to do besides what they can do, and they know that.

I don't hold that pride is equivalent to the feeling of having accomplished something. Pride is a failure to acknowledge the Source, the Creator. Accomplishment is part of how we glorify God. It is half of acknowledgement.

 

[turkle]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling satisfaction with a job well done. Pride comes in when you compare yourself to others, positively or negatively. It doesn't matter that other people drive easily. It is an accomplishment for you, and that's what matters. Pride either elevates you above others or lowers you below. So the important thing is to stop the comparisons. That is difficult, our sin nature naturally wants to rank ourselves in some sort of pecking order. However, if we succumb to that temptation, even to say I'm not as good as others, we are falling into pridefulness.

With regard to your supervisory position, it is also pride that makes you want to avoid being the bad guy, because you don't want criticism. That makes it about you instead of about doing a good job for your employer. You were promoted to the position because someone believed you could do it. It is entirely possible to talk to employees about things that need correction without being a jerk. Kind words go a long way, but don't become a pushover. If you compliment people when they are doing well, they are more apt to receive correction when you give it. A good supervisor does both, gains the respect of their employees, and manages their area well for the company.

 

[Behold]

Where do you draw the line? How can you tell one apart from the other?

I, for one, have trouble feeling good about myself when I do something well. In the past few years, since marrying the wonderful husband God has given me, I have learned to drive a car. Nobody had bothered teaching me before, even when I asked them to, because they assumed my anxiety was too great and I wouldn't be able to learn. I have also lost a considerable amount of weight, overcome disability enough to get a job, and even got promoted to supervisor. My next step is overcoming my fear of driving on the interstate. My job currently runs from 3:30 PM to midnight. I am taking advantage of the light traffic conditions to go ahead and ease myself into it. So, for the past few nights on the job, I have been taking the interstate home. Still getting used to the idea. After 7 years of being licensed, I'm just now getting to where driving, itself, feels natural to me.

What keeps echoing in my head is that none of this is any big accomplishment. People drive themselves to work every day, yes, even on the interstate, and they don't see it as anything worth celebrating or bragging about. They're just doing what needs to be done. As for losing weight, I shouldn't have gotten fat in the first place. All I'm doing is correcting wrongs. So I finally decided to cut the nonsense and act like a functional adult human being for a change. What do I want, a cookie or something?

I also have trouble giving orders and asserting authority, even when I legitimately should. Me, pull rank on an employee who wants to get away with coming to work late, and/or openly resists following directions? Yes, I've got that word "supervisor" in my job title, and yes, other supervisors are backing me up when I enforce the rule, but I feel like such a crud doing it. I don't want to be the meanie. Echo in my head goes like, "Well, listen to YOU, Miss High and Mighty. Who do you think you are, anyway?" I'm the supervisor, that's who I am. But I've been programmed for so much of my life to think this isn't my role. I'm the one who follows, not the one who leads. I've got to get over that, if I'm going to succeed in my job. And I'm determined to succeed.

So, those of you who do are in leadership roles, those of you who have climbed mountains and feel good about it, how do you answer it when the voices from your past get sarcastic with remarks like, "Well, don't break your arm patting yourself on the back!" Is it ever OK to tell yourself you did a good job, or that you deserve something positive that happened? Where does it cross into being prideful, and therefore a sin?

Biblical self esteem is to see yourself as God sees you.
Worldly self esteem is related to worrying about how others see you, and the amount you perform for them, is according to how much you need the world's approval.

Self Confidence is different then self esteem. Self Confidence is built not on the perception of others, but built on personal accomplishment that is generally related to setting a goal and achieving it, and doing this as a lifestyle.

 

[KimmyO]

Wow, I am proud of you, you have overcome a lot and are moving forward even as feeling fear, that is bravery! Many have also Not overcome these things and you are! Woot! I'm celebrating with you! Be proud of yourself, the only time it is wrong is when it stomps on others or becomes your whole focus. You might have wrongly learned that as a child, but you get to choose now what you believe and how you feel about yourself. To learn to drive a car in midst of anxiety and no support is awesome. To lose weight is terrific! I'm still battling that one. You are a supervisor, that is awesome! The thing is you can't be a friend and a supervisor at the same time. You can be friendly and sweet, but must take on the role of supervising or they will run you over. YOu have found ways to overcome many things, finding a way around hurdles and that is a great trait in you! Many stay stuck and don't go around the hurdles. Speak the positive things to yourself to counteract the negative you've heart or think to redirect your mind.
For the many who have done these things, there are very many who haven't and can't seem to and you found a way. Wahoo!! =) Accolades to you dear! It doesn't matter what those under you think, they will what they will, but they will respect you if you respect yourself and your position and lead them. Yes, you deserve accolades and something positive for doing well, reward yourself and don't feel bad about it. You are a child of the King, you are a princess and loved dearly! If someone says you shouldn't be proud, tell them you're sad they aren't able to be proud of you or of themselves. Praise God in your praises and thank him for helping you.