Seeking to know God

lawofderp

Member
Sep 24, 2014
9
10
✟9,646.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Private
Politics
CA-Bloc
I was raised Catholic but religion was never a serious affair in my household. Only my grandmother really cared much about it. We went to Church on Christmas only, we even skipped Easter. Consequently, despite being baptized and confirmed, I never had any strong link to what is supposed to be my faith on paper. It's mostly a cultural thing where I live, so I suppose I'm the very definition of a cultural Catholic.

I don't really know how to say this, but the culmination of a few years' worth of thought and experience is leading me to believe that our society is heading down the drain. I used to believe in personal freedom and accountability, but now I recognize that most people don't know what to do with it and perhaps need to be held accountable by someone else than themselves to not self-destruct, and I think that'll be the end of us as a civilization. I include myself in those people. The more I look around me, the more I realize just how damaging and unhealthy the ideology I was fed during almost a decade in higher education is, not only to our society, but to us as human beings.

I have sinned. I have sinned a lot and done a lot of things I'm not too proud of, and I need help to stop, as it's like I'm addicted to licentiousness and it's sapped my willpower. I always was a staunch agnostic so in theory this should make me open to the idea of a God, but somehow, as much as I try, I just can't find it in me to give Him a chance. Every time I try by any manner, like putting a foot inside a church or reading holy texts, I feel hit by an overwhelming wave of doubt and I take a few steps back out of fatalism. It actually feels like my mind does not know how to have "faith" or maybe it just can't, as if it was a muscle or a bone and mine is torn or broken or simply non-existent. Maybe as if I were blind and couldn't see the divine all around me. I can see all that is bad, though. I can see our fall happening in real time. I can see the problem, but not the solution.

How can I open my eyes to God? I already have so much difficulty trusting flesh and blood humans that I won't even consider trusting in someone I can't see or feel, no matter how much I want to. I don't want to be part of the problem anymore. I don't want to keep on sinning and never feel whole no matter how much I try and slake my thirst. I feel inherently broken in more ways than one. But I don't even know where to start or what to do. How can a base sinner reacquaint himself with his God after years and years of his mind being warped by sin and outside influences?
 

paul1149

that your faith might rest in the power of God
Supporter
Mar 22, 2011
8,460
5,268
NY
✟674,364.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Others
Hi Law,

That was a beautiful post. I commend you for seeing so clearly the problem confronting our society, and the forces that have been leading it down the path of destruction and how they also are taking many souls down as well. This is exactly what is going on, and it is progressively gaining in scope and velocity.

somehow, as much as I try, I just can't find it in me to give Him a chance. Every time I try by any manner, like putting a foot inside a church or reading holy texts, I feel hit by an overwhelming wave of doubt and I take a few steps back out of fatalism. It actually feels like my mind does not know how to have "faith" or maybe it just can't, as if it was a muscle or a bone and mine is torn or broken or simply non-existent. Maybe as if I were blind and couldn't see the divine all around me. I can see all that is bad, though. I can see our fall happening in real time. I can see the problem, but not the solution.

The fundamental dynamic of Christianity is that we are broken sinners who cannot save ourselves. We need outside help on a level we cannot begin to attain to ourselves. Thus Christ had to do it for us, which He indeed has done in love.

And so you see that you do not have to do this yourself. You cannot do this yourself. You only need to turn your paragraph above into a prayer. Be honest and say that you feel very far away and that you don't have a clue how to proceed. Ask Him to do what needs to be done, since you can't. Since Christ paid such a high Price for you, you are called. And the Bible assures us,

Faithful, is he that is calling you, and He also shall bring it to pass. 1thess 5.24​

Ask God to reveal Himself. Ask confidently and expectantly.

All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matt 11:27-30​
 
  • Agree
Reactions: writewords
Upvote 0

Hakan101

Here I Am
Mar 11, 2010
1,113
74
Earth
✟1,715.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Engaged
I was raised Catholic but religion was never a serious affair in my household. Only my grandmother really cared much about it. We went to Church on Christmas only, we even skipped Easter. Consequently, despite being baptized and confirmed, I never had any strong link to what is supposed to be my faith on paper. It's mostly a cultural thing where I live, so I suppose I'm the very definition of a cultural Catholic.

I don't really know how to say this, but the culmination of a few years' worth of thought and experience is leading me to believe that our society is heading down the drain. I used to believe in personal freedom and accountability, but now I recognize that most people don't know what to do with it and perhaps need to be held accountable by someone else than themselves to not self-destruct, and I think that'll be the end of us as a civilization. I include myself in those people. The more I look around me, the more I realize just how damaging and unhealthy the ideology I was fed during almost a decade in higher education is, not only to our society, but to us as human beings.

I have sinned. I have sinned a lot and done a lot of things I'm not too proud of, and I need help to stop, as it's like I'm addicted to licentiousness and it's sapped my willpower. I always was a staunch agnostic so in theory this should make me open to the idea of a God, but somehow, as much as I try, I just can't find it in me to give Him a chance. Every time I try by any manner, like putting a foot inside a church or reading holy texts, I feel hit by an overwhelming wave of doubt and I take a few steps back out of fatalism. It actually feels like my mind does not know how to have "faith" or maybe it just can't, as if it was a muscle or a bone and mine is torn or broken or simply non-existent. Maybe as if I were blind and couldn't see the divine all around me. I can see all that is bad, though. I can see our fall happening in real time. I can see the problem, but not the solution.

How can I open my eyes to God? I already have so much difficulty trusting flesh and blood humans that I won't even consider trusting in someone I can't see or feel, no matter how much I want to. I don't want to be part of the problem anymore. I don't want to keep on sinning and never feel whole no matter how much I try and slake my thirst. I feel inherently broken in more ways than one. But I don't even know where to start or what to do. How can a base sinner reacquaint himself with his God after years and years of his mind being warped by sin and outside influences?

The first step to coming to Christ is repentance. To repent means to change your mind, which leads to a change of heart. It sounds like you may be starting to do that already. I'm not talking about "saying the sinner's prayer" or "confessing sins", but you are realizing in your mind the destruction and hopelessness that godless thinking offers. And that this world is filled with souls who need Jesus, who is the one way, truth, and light. I believe we are in the last days of the world, the end of the age. In the entire chapter of 2 Timothy 3, Paul talks about the state of the world in the last days as a perilous one. Read the chapter slowly, and see if each verse does not fit this current world to a T.

Paul also says that "Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing the Word of God." We need to continuously connect with God's Word on a daily basis to grow our faith: studying it, understanding it and applying it in our lives. With this in mind, you can start growing your faith by studying God's Word and hearing it preached. The Holy Spirit will guide you, God knows what you need in your life and how best to mold you to His purpose.

Concerning your last paragraph, God knows your heart. He can see you are repentant and want to be reconciled to Him. The good news is when you have faith, you already are reconciled to God through Jesus' blood. His sacrifice gives us a clean slate, we are washed clean and imputed with righteousness. We are made blameless in the eyes of the Father. No matter what horrible things you have done, when you are covered by the blood of Christ, God sees you as righteous.

I hope this gives you some encouragement and an idea of where to start your walk with the Lord. It is really not an easy journey at all, but the fact you can see past the ways of the world and have a desire to return to God gives me encouragement that our commission to make disciples is not a fruitless one.
 
Upvote 0

FutureAndAHope

Just me
Supporter
Aug 30, 2008
6,362
2,910
Australia
Visit site
✟733,159.00
Country
Australia
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Hi I will walk you through a scripture that may help you. You said you wish to stop sinning, well here is what the bible says (in part).

2Pe 1:3-7 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

God through the Holy Spirit can cause us to "be partakers of the divine nature", he will "According as his divine power give us us all things that pertain unto life and godliness".

When you become a Christian God empowers you to live a Godly life, his Spirit dwelling in you will free you from the power of sin. The bible further more says:

1John 3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

When God's seed the Holy Spirit dwells in you, you will no longer sin, in a deliberate way.

For any mistakes and sins you may commit as a Christian, Jesus will forgive you, we will never be 100% perfect. The bible says:

1Jn 1:8-9 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1Jn 2:1-2: My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

Yet we see the verse that follows is:

1Jn 2:3-4 And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

1Jn 2:29 If ye know that he is righteous, ye know that every one that doeth righteousness is born of him.

You can be righteous, you just need God to fill you.

Jesus said:

Luk 22:40 And when he was at the place, he said unto them, "Pray that ye enter not into temptation".

Prayer as a Christian is your life line to Godly living. AS we are connected to Jesus, he will first cleanse you of your big sins, as we abide in him, he will purify us of our little ones. But as you ask Jesus into your life you will be changed.
 
Upvote 0

dhornace

Active Member
Sep 2, 2015
93
58
37
Montana
✟8,546.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
I was raised Catholic but religion was never a serious affair in my household. Only my grandmother really cared much about it. We went to Church on Christmas only, we even skipped Easter. Consequently, despite being baptized and confirmed, I never had any strong link to what is supposed to be my faith on paper. It's mostly a cultural thing where I live, so I suppose I'm the very definition of a cultural Catholic.
?

I for one am really glad you posted this. Reading the responses here has really helped me along my way. Thank you
 
Upvote 0

faroukfarouk

Fading curmudgeon
Apr 29, 2009
35,902
17,177
Canada
✟279,058.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
I for one am really glad you posted this. Reading the responses here has really helped me along my way. Thank you
Some Scripture reading every day can be really good.

John chapters 1 thru 3; chapter 14 and Psalm 46 are good passages to read trustingly.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dhornace
Upvote 0

Aidan K

Baha'i
Jan 18, 2014
214
82
✟8,290.00
Faith
Other Religion
Marital Status
Single
You may have difficulty trusting God but He trusts in you. He knows you by name since before you were born and will welcome you home when you breath your last. Sometimes we cannot hear God guiding us because of the noise coming from "stuff" in our lives. If one day you have the opportunity to sit in a calm secluded environment and tell God that you're unsure of His presence but that you are willing to be open to Him, then He will make His presence felt. the Lord Jesus asked God to make His presence felt when He said in total despair "My God my God, why have You forsaken me?"
 
Upvote 0

dhornace

Active Member
Sep 2, 2015
93
58
37
Montana
✟8,546.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Some Scripture reading every day can be really good.

John chapters 1 thru 3; chapter 14 and Psalm 46 are good passages to read trustingly.
I read thru what you suggested, I think I took away more in chapter 14 than anything since it was a culmination of the first three chapters. I read Psalm 46, then I began reading quite a few of them. I really connected with a lot of them. I never really read a lot of those before and it really allowed me to appreciate them. Of David, Psalm 35 really stuck out to me. I read it three times and the words grew deeper and deeper.
 
Upvote 0

faroukfarouk

Fading curmudgeon
Apr 29, 2009
35,902
17,177
Canada
✟279,058.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
I read thru what you suggested, I think I took away more in chapter 14 than anything since it was a culmination of the first three chapters. I read Psalm 46, then I began reading quite a few of them. I really connected with a lot of them. I never really read a lot of those before and it really allowed me to appreciate them. Of David, Psalm 35 really stuck out to me. I read it three times and the words grew deeper and deeper.
What you are doing is excellent; it's good to come to conclusions about God and His beloved Son the Savior - Who died at the Cross to save sinner - as a result of our own reading of God's Word, rather than because of what other ppl say or than before we have read it for ourselves. We may be in for some wonderful surprises!

On the Psalms, many of them are Messianic, which is to say that hundreds of years before the Lord Jesus came into the World, the Psalms spoke of Him and His sufferings at the Cross. Isaiah 53 is similar; another wonderful chapter.

God bless His Word to you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dhornace
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

terryjohn

Newbie
Sep 26, 2014
203
31
✟8,626.00
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
The original post is a good prayer. What you say is a common experience for some of us who have come to experience God in mighty ways. It is a fearful thing to want to fall into the hands of the living God, for things could never be the same again. I to wrestled with God, needless to say once i submitted it was my greatest victory. The problem i had was what would i do if God revealed Himself to me? I knew that to whom much is given much is required.
 
Upvote 0

joshua 1 9

Well-Known Member
Supporter
May 11, 2015
17,420
3,592
Northern Ohio
✟314,577.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
How can I open my eyes to God? I already have so much difficulty trusting flesh and blood humans that I won't even consider trusting in someone I can't see or feel, no matter how much I want to. I don't want to be part of the problem anymore. I don't want to keep on sinning and never feel whole no matter how much I try and slake my thirst. I feel inherently broken in more ways than one. But I don't even know where to start or what to do. How can a base sinner reacquaint himself with his God after years and years of his mind being warped by sin and outside influences?
The Bible says to seek and you shall know God. "You shall seek me, and shall find me: when you shall seek me with all your heart." In my case I wanted to know God so He revealed Himself to me. Then God took me to Jesus and Jesus (the word) showed me the Holy Spirit. Then the Holy Spirit taught me about Jesus and Jesus taught me about the Father. I read the Bible and allowed the Holy Spirit to help me to understand what I was reading. In none of this did I trust others. Although I was interested for people to share with me what God was doing in their life.
 
Upvote 0

Steven Wood

Not my will but Thy will be done
Jul 17, 2015
392
153
46
Arkansas, United States
✟18,151.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
I was raised Catholic but religion was never a serious affair in my household. Only my grandmother really cared much about it. We went to Church on Christmas only, we even skipped Easter. Consequently, despite being baptized and confirmed, I never had any strong link to what is supposed to be my faith on paper. It's mostly a cultural thing where I live, so I suppose I'm the very definition of a cultural Catholic.

I don't really know how to say this, but the culmination of a few years' worth of thought and experience is leading me to believe that our society is heading down the drain. I used to believe in personal freedom and accountability, but now I recognize that most people don't know what to do with it and perhaps need to be held accountable by someone else than themselves to not self-destruct, and I think that'll be the end of us as a civilization. I include myself in those people. The more I look around me, the more I realize just how damaging and unhealthy the ideology I was fed during almost a decade in higher education is, not only to our society, but to us as human beings.

I have sinned. I have sinned a lot and done a lot of things I'm not too proud of, and I need help to stop, as it's like I'm addicted to licentiousness and it's sapped my willpower. I always was a staunch agnostic so in theory this should make me open to the idea of a God, but somehow, as much as I try, I just can't find it in me to give Him a chance. Every time I try by any manner, like putting a foot inside a church or reading holy texts, I feel hit by an overwhelming wave of doubt and I take a few steps back out of fatalism. It actually feels like my mind does not know how to have "faith" or maybe it just can't, as if it was a muscle or a bone and mine is torn or broken or simply non-existent. Maybe as if I were blind and couldn't see the divine all around me. I can see all that is bad, though. I can see our fall happening in real time. I can see the problem, but not the solution.

How can I open my eyes to God? I already have so much difficulty trusting flesh and blood humans that I won't even consider trusting in someone I can't see or feel, no matter how much I want to. I don't want to be part of the problem anymore. I don't want to keep on sinning and never feel whole no matter how much I try and slake my thirst. I feel inherently broken in more ways than one. But I don't even know where to start or what to do. How can a base sinner reacquaint himself with his God after years and years of his mind being warped by sin and outside influences?
You've already started. I can't tell you how disgusted I've been with what I've seen around me and I've felt the same way. I even got to the point of shutting myself off and working form home and yet not seeking GOD. A few months back with no warning I felt an overwhelming pull to the Lord and my eyes were opened like never before. Soon I found that many others like me all over felt the same pull with no real reason. They started fearing death, or noticing the overwhelming evil in the world, or just started having questions about GOD and never had before in their lives. I truly think this was a great awakening. I haven't gone back to church, church was one thing that steered me out in the first place but I have joined forums and studied again on my own. If I may suggest and I do not mean to offend but if you fell out of church and if you're having trouble connecting now you might try to broaden your studies past Catholicism. I pray each day for wisdom and that Jesus open my eyes and heart before I study his word and I study many things. Last of all I say to you take heart. Even though everything around you is terrible and heart wrenching it's been foretold and part of GOD's plan. I'm just glad that you noticed it before it was too late to change things for yourself. GOD bless you.
 
Upvote 0

aiki

Regular Member
Feb 16, 2007
10,874
4,348
Winnipeg
✟236,528.00
Country
Canada
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Married
I was raised Catholic but religion was never a serious affair in my household. Only my grandmother really cared much about it. We went to Church on Christmas only, we even skipped Easter. Consequently, despite being baptized and confirmed, I never had any strong link to what is supposed to be my faith on paper. It's mostly a cultural thing where I live, so I suppose I'm the very definition of a cultural Catholic.

95% of the Catholics I know are just as you have described yourself.

I don't really know how to say this, but the culmination of a few years' worth of thought and experience is leading me to believe that our society is heading down the drain. I used to believe in personal freedom and accountability, but now I recognize that most people don't know what to do with it and perhaps need to be held accountable by someone else than themselves to not self-destruct, and I think that'll be the end of us as a civilization. I include myself in those people. The more I look around me, the more I realize just how damaging and unhealthy the ideology I was fed during almost a decade in higher education is, not only to our society, but to us as human beings.

Interesting. Most people are too crowded by the myriad of distractions in western culture to think carefully about the fundamental character and ultimate course of their life. It is no small feat that you have been able to step out of the current of western culture and perceive its slow but certain self-destruction.

I have sinned. I have sinned a lot and done a lot of things I'm not too proud of, and I need help to stop, as it's like I'm addicted to licentiousness and it's sapped my willpower. I always was a staunch agnostic so in theory this should make me open to the idea of a God, but somehow, as much as I try, I just can't find it in me to give Him a chance.

You may not realize it but what you've written here is very much in accord with what the Bible teaches. No man can come to faith in Christ except God draws him to do so. Our entering into a relationship with God is entirely God's doing. He saves us; we cannot save ourselves. We humans, unaltered by God's transforming power, are incorrigibly self-centered. The prospect of having to yield the center of ourselves, of our life, to our Maker, runs right against the grain of what as sin-cursed, selfish creatures we are inclined to. It is no wonder, then, that you cannot find within yourself the willingness to open and submit your life to your Creator.

Every time I try by any manner, like putting a foot inside a church or reading holy texts, I feel hit by an overwhelming wave of doubt and I take a few steps back out of fatalism. It actually feels like my mind does not know how to have "faith" or maybe it just can't, as if it was a muscle or a bone and mine is torn or broken or simply non-existent. Maybe as if I were blind and couldn't see the divine all around me. I can see all that is bad, though. I can see our fall happening in real time. I can see the problem, but not the solution.

Well, the Bible says we have an Enemy, the devil, who works to hinder our connecting with God. He may be working within you to keep you from finally stepping into the relationship for which you were made.

The idea that a person cannot have faith is, well, silly. It isn't that you don't have faith - you most certainly do - but that you are unwilling to exercise it toward God. Every time you see a doctor, or have your dentist work on your teeth, or use snail mail, or deposit your money in a bank, or use public transit or a taxi you exercise faith. The question is, then, why, when you exercise faith in all these other things, are you not willing to exercise it also in God?

How can I open my eyes to God? I already have so much difficulty trusting flesh and blood humans that I won't even consider trusting in someone I can't see or feel, no matter how much I want to.

And this is why God must do the saving of us. We all have similar impediments to trusting in Christ. And the older we get, the more of these impediments we erect. But God is, well, God. It is certainly not beyond His power to persuade you to a different attitude. Have you asked Him to do so?

How can I open my eyes to God? I already have so much difficulty trusting flesh and blood humans that I won't even consider trusting in someone I can't see or feel, no matter how much I want to. I don't want to be part of the problem anymore. I don't want to keep on sinning and never feel whole no matter how much I try and slake my thirst. I feel inherently broken in more ways than one. But I don't even know where to start or what to do. How can a base sinner reacquaint himself with his God after years and years of his mind being warped by sin and outside influences?

How can you open your eyes to God? It seems, at least to some degree, that your eyes have already been opened to Him. You would not be here asking such a question if this were not so. Again, I would urge you to ask God to continue to convict you of your sin and desperate need of Him. Plead with Him to give you the faith to believe.

Jeremiah 29:13
13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

James 4:8-10
8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you...

Selah.
 
Upvote 0

lawofderp

Member
Sep 24, 2014
9
10
✟9,646.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Private
Politics
CA-Bloc
About a year and a half later, I have finally begun down the path.

You might be wondering why it took so long. Truth is, coming from a purely materialist life, this isn't easy. Then again I was always told being a Christian isn't easy, so you guys should know. A few years ago, I thought that people who said that were being ridiculous. After all, what is so hard about comforting oneself with fairy tales and taking one's morality verbatim from a book? What is so hard about not thinking for yourself? But today (and even at the time of this original post) I realize that being free to do what one wants is to be a slave to one's passions, and that is a meaningless life indeed. My solution to that was to sequester myself in my home, which wasn't a healthy way to deal with this conundrum. I have developed anxiety issues in so doing. Today I realize that the teachings written in that book lead one to the truth, and it is that truth that sets one free. Since I have realized this, I have felt a marked decrease in my anxiety levels. I think that's a sign I'm looking towards the right direction.

This original post was perhaps a way to test the waters, but I guess that at the time I found them a bit too cold (or hot?) to my liking. I could blame myself for not daring to jump in anyway but that seems a bit counterproductive at that point. Rest assured that I have read every reply in this topic with interest, multiple times, and I believe that they did their work subconsciously.

I don't think I can call myself a Christian right this minute, but I do trust that the path forward will be shown to me. Over the coming days I will take some meaningful steps forward, including my first reading of the NT in full alongside the Catechism, as well as preparing for penance by writing my sins on paper. I have also been recommended books that I will peruse with interest. Once I have acquired a solid base and begun a real practice then I will be happy to join all of you here.

A sincere thank you for your guidance all these months ago.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

zippy2006

Dragonsworn
Nov 9, 2013
6,776
3,377
✟242,011.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Single
About a year and a half later, I have finally begun down the path.

You might be wondering why it took so long. Truth is, coming from a purely materialist life, this isn't easy. Then again I was always told being a Christian isn't easy, so you guys should know. A few years ago, I thought that people who said that were being ridiculous. After all, what is so hard about comforting oneself with fairy tales and taking one's morality verbatim from a book? What is so hard about not thinking for yourself? But today (and even at the time of this original post) I realize that being free to do what one wants is to be a slave to one's passions, and that is a meaningless life indeed. My solution to that was to sequester myself in my home, which wasn't a healthy way to deal with this conundrum. I have developed anxiety issues in so doing. Today I realize that the teachings written in that book lead one to the truth, and it is that truth that sets one free. Since I have realized this, I have felt a marked decrease in my anxiety levels. I think that's a sign I'm looking towards the right direction.

This original post was perhaps a way to test the waters, but I guess that at the time I found them a bit too cold (or hot?) to my liking. I could blame myself for not daring to jump in anyway but that seems a bit counterproductive at that point. Rest assured that I have read every reply in this topic with interest, multiple times, and I believe that they did their work subconsciously.

I don't think I can call myself a Christian right this minute, but I do trust that the path forward will be shown to me. Over the coming days I will take some meaningful steps forward, including my first reading of the NT in full alongside the Catechism, as well as preparing for penance by writing my sins on paper. I have also been recommended books that I will peruse with interest. Once I have acquired a solid base and begun a real practice then I will be happy to join all of you here.

A sincere thank you for your guidance all these months ago.

I'm glad to hear that you're doing well, and I think it is an excellent idea to read the New Testament and the Catechism. I would also recommend Augustine's Confessions, a classic. Don't forget to pray!
 
Upvote 0

ToBeLoved

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Jan 3, 2014
18,705
5,790
✟322,365.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
About a year and a half later, I have finally begun down the path.

You might be wondering why it took so long. Truth is, coming from a purely materialist life, this isn't easy. Then again I was always told being a Christian isn't easy, so you guys should know. A few years ago, I thought that people who said that were being ridiculous. After all, what is so hard about comforting oneself with fairy tales and taking one's morality verbatim from a book? What is so hard about not thinking for yourself? But today (and even at the time of this original post) I realize that being free to do what one wants is to be a slave to one's passions, and that is a meaningless life indeed. My solution to that was to sequester myself in my home, which wasn't a healthy way to deal with this conundrum. I have developed anxiety issues in so doing. Today I realize that the teachings written in that book lead one to the truth, and it is that truth that sets one free. Since I have realized this, I have felt a marked decrease in my anxiety levels. I think that's a sign I'm looking towards the right direction.

This original post was perhaps a way to test the waters, but I guess that at the time I found them a bit too cold (or hot?) to my liking. I could blame myself for not daring to jump in anyway but that seems a bit counterproductive at that point. Rest assured that I have read every reply in this topic with interest, multiple times, and I believe that they did their work subconsciously.

I don't think I can call myself a Christian right this minute, but I do trust that the path forward will be shown to me. Over the coming days I will take some meaningful steps forward, including my first reading of the NT in full alongside the Catechism, as well as preparing for penance by writing my sins on paper. I have also been recommended books that I will peruse with interest. Once I have acquired a solid base and begun a real practice then I will be happy to join all of you here.

A sincere thank you for your guidance all these months ago.
Please remember a few things.

First, God calls us to be in the world, but not of the world. There is nothing wrong with being out in the world, as a matter of fact, we are told to be a light and a light that is covered, bears no light. Shutting yourself up in your home might be seen as protecting yourself from the world, but faith is really built when we struggle and make those hard choices, choosing God over and over again.

Fear and isolation are Satan's tactics. God's Word says that 'perfect love casts out fear'.

Second, do not let other people define you as a Christian. Christ died to reconcile you back to God. Immanuel, God with us. Keep your focus on God, not other people. Serve God.

You will be fine. God loves you already. God has never, not loved you.

As a Christian you are a follower and servant of Christ. If that is what you are, rejoice in the great God you have found, that has made you a co-heir with Christ to the Father.

God calls you His beloved.
 
Upvote 0