Scrupulous/ocd

[jelena.j4]

Hey, to whoever reading this, i struggle, A LOT, it is affecting my mental and physical health, so if you have any advice i would really need it.
This year i noticed i struggle with scrupulousity. I obsess over so many things and question is it a sin. I can't seem to realize difference between feelings and conscience so i worry have i commited sin against my conscience.
I started to worry am i eating too much and commiting gluttony and it lead me to lose bunch of weight (now i'm underweight), that lead me to not having period for months.
I worry am i commiting a sin if i sleep longer, study, when i am on my phone, showering, wearing certain clothes and so many more things.
It became so DRAINING, i don't know how long can i tolerate it. When i dont obey that small voice it feels like im commiting a sin.
I really really need help. :/
Im seeing therapist, she is not christian therapist just a regular one, i havent told her about this problem and i dont know should i tell her bc my thoughts are not allowing me.
Somebody, please give me advice. thanks

 

[Blaise N]

Hi my friend,

I want you to know that your not alone in your struggle.I myself have been fighting OCD since the age of 15,while also being a Christian.I want you to know that many historical Christians have experienced scrupulousity.Even the wise and history changing man Martin Luther himself struggled with it.I’m my struggle I’ve experienced every intrusive thought in the book and it’s still going.Please know that God will never leave or forsake you,and he loves you deeply.I want you to also know that I and fellow Christians I have befriended here have also been through mental health struggles so we know what it’s like.If you ever have any anxiety,any struggles,anything I will get in touch with my friends and myself and we will help you.God bless you!

 

[jelena.j4]

Thank you for answering, it's good thing to know that other people understand what im going through. I'm really gratefull for finding this forum.
I don't know what to do, should i cointinue to obey these thoughts in my head because idk is it my conscience.
And also i dont know should i tell this to my therapist because im thinking what if my story pushes her away from becoming a christian (i tend to overanalyze things :/)

 

[Tionbai]

Thank you for answering, it's good thing to know that other people understand what im going through. I'm really gratefull for finding this forum.
I don't know what to do, should i cointinue to obey these thoughts in my head because idk is it my conscience.
And also i dont know should i tell this to my therapist because im thinking what if my story pushes her away from becoming a christian (i tend to overanalyze things :/)

Hi, Jelena. How are you doing? It's been a month and a half since your post. Did you end up telling your therapist, and what are your thoughts?

I relate to a lot of what you're writing. I wonder if it's a kind of perfectionism involved, since (for me at least) there's this desire to always do the right or best thing. And so every option that is not the best option is a wrong option, and potentially a sinful option. In my mind, everything that is not perfect is sinful to some extent, because you're "missing the mark" from perfection. It is certainly exhausting, and it can't be right to think this way.

I am diagnosed with ADHD, and I take medication which really helps focus my thinking and helps with the OCD A LOT. But then there's a part of me that wonders if taking ADHD meds is sinful as well, so I frequently skip out on taking them, resulting in me binge eating and throwing up, or something else.

But remember that Jesus lived the perfect life for us so that we have salvation through our faith in Him. He is our perfect Hero <3 And he is the perfecter of our faith, and will certainly deliver us from this overthinking and lead us into peace with Him. I also believe that God can use our struggles for good, and the qualities that the devil is using against us will be a force for good if we let God have us and do with us as He will. He is all-powerful and worthy of our love, trust, and devotion.

I hope you're doing better, friend. I'm praying for you <3

Philippians 4:6: 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

 

[jelena.j4]

Hi, Jelena. How are you doing? It's been a month and a half since your post. Did you end up telling your therapist, and what are your thoughts?

I relate to a lot of what you're writing. I wonder if it's a kind of perfectionism involved, since (for me at least) there's this desire to always do the right or best thing. And so every option that is not the best option is a wrong option, and potentially a sinful option. In my mind, everything that is not perfect is sinful to some extent, because you're "missing the mark" from perfection. It is certainly exhausting, and it can't be right to think this way.

I am diagnosed with ADHD, and I take medication which really helps focus my thinking and helps with the OCD A LOT. But then there's a part of me that wonders if taking ADHD meds is sinful as well, so I frequently skip out on taking them, resulting in me binge eating and throwing up, or something else.

But remember that Jesus lived the perfect life for us so that we have salvation through our faith in Him. He is our perfect Hero <3 And he is the perfecter of our faith, and will certainly deliver us from this overthinking and lead us into peace with Him. I also believe that God can use our struggles for good, and the qualities that the devil is using against us will be a force for good if we let God have us and do with us as He will. He is all-powerful and worthy of our love, trust, and devotion.

I hope you're doing better, friend. I'm praying for you <3

Philippians 4:6: 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Hello, thank you so much for asking means a lot.
Well i still haven't told a therapist since i'm changing her and going to another one but i will tell for sure. It's kinda getting easier to know wich voice is from scrupulosity and wich one from God. I still struggle with perfectionism and doubting is something sin. I should be taking medication for depression but my head is like "is it sinful". It gets hard to live with thoughts like this but i have hope i will heal. I would recommend to you youtube channel MarkDeJesus he has a lot of helpful advices.
I have also struggled with binge eating and eating disorder so if you need help with it we can always talk about it.

 

[Tionbai]

Hello, thank you so much for asking means a lot.
Well i still haven't told a therapist since i'm changing her and going to another one but i will tell for sure. It's kinda getting easier to know wich voice is from scrupulosity and wich one from God. I still struggle with perfectionism and doubting is something sin. I should be taking medication for depression but my head is like "is it sinful". It gets hard to live with thoughts like this but i have hope i will heal. I would recommend to you youtube channel MarkDeJesus he has a lot of helpful advices.
I have also struggled with binge eating and eating disorder so if you need help with it we can always talk about it.

I see, thank you for responding! It's great to hear that you find it's getting easier to separate the voices. And thank you for the recommendation!

One thing to maybe keep in mind is that with non-believing counselors, it will be hard for them to understand the things regarding our faith. To them, "The Holy Spirit" living inside of us and speaking with us can sound schizophrenic, and also our convictions regarding God's Law and morality I have found they criticize and try to "help" us out of. Because to them, they will see us wanting to obey God's law as part of the problem. It totally depends on their own moral code of course, but unbelievers will generally want to "free us from the shackles of harmful religion".

I find this can be a challenge with believing counselors too though, as they will want to save you to understand things from their own theological lens. I guess it is a challenge no matter what, and people, in general, will want to save you out of complete ignorance.

I pray that God leads you to a great counselor for you, and helps you to lean on and trust in Him <3
Also that you find people in your life, including a counselor, that is helpful to talk to, and can give good advice.

God bless you <3

 

[jelena.j4]

I see, thank you for responding! It's great to hear that you find it's getting easier to separate the voices. And thank you for the recommendation!

One thing to maybe keep in mind is that with non-believing counselors, it will be hard for them to understand the things regarding our faith. To them, "The Holy Spirit" living inside of us and speaking with us can sound schizophrenic, and also our convictions regarding God's Law and morality I have found they criticize and try to "help" us out of. Because to them, they will see us wanting to obey God's law as part of the problem. It totally depends on their own moral code of course, but unbelievers will generally want to "free us from the shackles of harmful religion".

I find this can be a challenge with believing counselors too though, as they will want to save you to understand things from their own theological lens. I guess it is a challenge no matter what, and people, in general, will want to save you out of complete ignorance.

I pray that God leads you to a great counselor for you, and helps you to lean on and trust in Him <3
Also that you find people in your life, including a counselor, that is helpful to talk to, and can give good advice.

God bless you <3

Thank you, God bless you too

 

[Unqualified]

I have found that my conscience is a little out of whack, over developed. It is always hounding me not to do things and to do other stuff to spare peoples feelings and not make them mad. But it’s all imaginary- no people, no complaints, no idea why. So I can’t let it rule in my life or I’d be stifled in some ways.

Conscience can get messed up from outside sources. Read Bible, obey bible. Don’t get worried about the little stuff. We can’t be perfect we need joy for strength and to enjoy the ride in life. Don’t strive for perfection but holiness to God. If you get too keyed in to a perfectionist attitude you will have no peace.

 

[jelena.j4]

I have found that my conscience is a little out of whack, over developed. It is always hounding me not to do things and to do other stuff to spare peoples feelings and not make them mad. But it’s all imaginary- no people, no complaints, no idea why. So I can’t let it rule in my life or I’d be stifled in some ways.

Conscience can get messed up from outside sources. Read Bible, obey bible. Don’t get worried about the little stuff. We can’t be perfect we need joy for strength and to enjoy the ride in life. Don’t strive for perfection but holiness to God. If you get too keyed in to a perfectionist attitude you will have no peace.

How can i fix my conscience because it seems to be working too much and it leads me to obsess over small things

 

[Unqualified]

How can i fix my conscience because it seems to be working too much and it leads me to obsess over small things

Maybe you can’t fix it. But you can take those thoughts captive as in 2cor10:3-5 and they won’t affect you as much. It’s a miracle of God, what he has given us. Pray about how to use it. It’s the least told story of how to control your mind and let God and his word bein control. But it takes a little work.