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STAYING_STRONG4HIM

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I was driving home from a nice weekend with my family out at the beach. Its incredibly dark out and i had put my brights on (which I rarely put on ever) because it was so incredibly dark and in a deep wooded area. Well I forgot my bright lights (which really are not that bright) were on and this motorcycle coming from the opposite direction drove past us and I approached a stop sign. Realizing my brights were still on I turned them off. The motorcyclist turned around, turned his brights on behind me so it would blind me and then pulled up next to my car at the stop sign. Thinking he was just going to tell me that I had a brake light out or something I rolled my window down a bit. He started yelling at me saying he is legally blind in one eye an that having my brights on could have caused him to go off the road or hit the front end of my car. I apologized several times for having my brights on and he just kept yelling at me. I was seriously terrified. It was like I just froze. As I drove away and the motorcyclist went in the opposite direction I just began to cry so hard. A guy that is legally blind in one eye should not be driving at night. Now I keep having flashbacks of the rape and Im so terrified. No offense to you few good men out there but I really do not like men. Please I really need some comfort right now.
 

NoddaProbBob

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I'm sorry you had such a hard night.
HUGS!
Road rage is something I'm pretty terrified of. I admit, I am very sensitive to the brights as my eyes have become sensitive to reflectors and lights while I'm driving at night. But I would never, ever, think of turning around and yelling at someone for having their brights on like what happened to you. I think of giving the benefit of the doubt because I know I've left mine on before by mistake.
And I agree. He should not be driving at night if he is legally blind, on a motorcycle no less!
Its unfair how one situation turns into one huge trigger. I hope you're taking it easy.
Hugs!
 
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Darkhorse

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I've had similar kinds of things happen to me. It could have happened to any of us. It was nothing personal, but the darkness and isolation of the setting probably triggered your fears more than anything else.

I'm sure the biker being male contributed to your fear, but that was an unfortunate coincidence.

Are you getting some effective therapy? It really helps to have good professional input to keep things in perspective; it takes time and effort though, and there will be setbacks...

 
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paul1149

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Bright headbeams happen quite frequently. This guy has a short fuse. If he has vision / depth perception problems, he shouldn't be on a bike, especially at night. His bike is an idol he is not willing to give up, no matter how much danger he puts himself and others in.

But this confrontation affected you even more, because it hearkened back to your previous abuse.

Know that in all this, dear Abba has you in the palms of His hands, and He will not let you go. He is the Father of mercies, the God of all compassion. Don't allow mere man, whose breath is in his nostrils, to disturb the peace Christ has won for you. When He gives, it is not as the world gives. It cannot be taken away, so don't forfeit it. Hold on to it. Labor to enter His rest. Assure yourself and encourage yourself in the Lord, as David did (1Sam 30.6). Let Him be your strength, and He will perfect His power within you, and He will restore your soul.
 
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NightHawkeye

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Catherineanne

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How awful for you.

Being legally blind in one eye does not disqualify this person from riding his bike, but it also does not entitle him to verbally abuse you. Your action was inadvertant; his was deliberate and intended to cause you distress.

This is an assault, and of course it will bring back terrible memories for you. It is really terrible how these things always seem to come to spoil the few good days that we manage to have. I am really, really sorry.
 
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Catherineanne

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STAYING_STRONG4HIM said:
Still tryng to recover from this incident. I had two panic attacks, which has sucked so much energy from me as well as the heat. I have hardly slept. I'm just not doing well.
Click to expand...

You are not doing well because you have been emotionally assaulted. Is there a women's helpline you can call? You need to have people who understand the dynamics of this, rather than those who may be wellmeaning, but really, really don't.

Hang on in there; this will get easier, but it may take time. You need some people to listen to you, and not judge. Please remember, this was not your fault; everyone is entitled to make a mistake with their headlights without being verbally abused for it, particularly in the dark by a threatening stranger.

No wonder you are triggered; if this happened to me it would make me ill for six months at least.

 
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STAYING_STRONG4HIM

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It scared me terribly. I don't even want to go out anymore because I'm afraid I'm going to get yelled at by some driver. I just don't understand why I'm still here. I don't understand why I am alive. The guy who raped me could have easily killed me, but he didn't. And if I'm still alive then that must mean God till has a purpose for me yet, but what?
 
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Murmur

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I can understand where you're coming from... I was raped by somebody at my high school, but kept blaming myself after I repressed it for about 2 years.
You're totally right-somebody with only one eye should NOT be driving at night, especially a motorcycle!
I'm sure God has a purpose for you, and I know you're strong enough to get through this and discover this purpose. It's not going to happen overnight, but we both know that, right?
Stay strong, Sister. You are more than welcome to PM me if you would like!
 
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NightHawkeye

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Why, to live, Strong4Him. That's why you're here.

Beyond that is between you and God. Everyone has to come to terms with God individually. Perhaps you'll be asked to serve ... or want to serve. If so, God will let you know. Until then, live, listen to your heart, obey God's commandments and do your best.
 
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Catherineanne

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It is enough to know that there is a purpose. What it is may not be clear to either you or me until we stand before the Lord. In the meantime, take it one minute at a time. If you can't go out, then stay home. When you can get out again, maybe buy an attack alarm of some kind; the ones that make a loud noise. Then carry it with you, in case of further abuse like this. That way you can make the loudest noise.

Don't let those of dubious parentage win.

PM if you want to talk. I am a good listener. Be good to yourself, SS4H.
 
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TamaraLynne

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(((hug)))
 
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STAYING_STRONG4HIM

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Had a pretty bad flashback last night. Also discovered that I probably don't have enough of my anxiety medication to last me when I go on vacation next week, which is going to suck, but I'm going to have to make it work because there is nothing I can do about it. Hopefully all will go smoothly this next week and I will feel okay.
 
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Darkhorse

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Here's wishing you a good vacation from your fears, and anxieties, and pain, and all the other negative influences that make your life difficult. Although I don't "understand", God does, and I'm asking Him to help you. I know He will...
 
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