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scared I blasphemed, said something bad in a fight with my mother

Discussion in 'Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' started by curlycurl, Aug 23, 2020.

  1. curlycurl

    curlycurl New Member

    43
    +44
    Netherlands
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    Today my mother and i got in a fight, I was about something small but it escalated quickly because she was in a very mad mood and I’m unfortunately very easy to rile up. At one point she started to try to get through my door and was kicking it very hard and I was trying to stop her from getting through because she said she was going to destroy my room or she was probably going to hit me, when she was trying to burst through my door she had this crazy look in her eyes and looked really scary and i told her something among the lines of "you are crazy, you are possessed, it looks like there is a demon in you.

    Now i am a am fearfull and regret that i spoke those words because she is Christian, she has been more serious with her faith recently and I’m not sure if she is saved, she’s not baptized but I’m scared that I blasphemed the Holy spirit by saying that to her.

    I know a part of me said that because I know it would mean something to her as a Christian. I don’t actually believe she is demon possessed no matter how scary she looked at that moment and how cruel she was being towards me.

    I said something I know was wrong to cause a reaction in her or at least make her realize how crazy she was being, but I also did it to hurt her. I was already was annoyed with her because she was going on dates with a guy (which she claims aren’t dates) even though she is married and I was angry that she says she’s a Christian and does all kinds of sins but I know it’s wrong to judge her for that because I’m far from a perfect Christian either.

    I feel bad for what I did but I’m still very prideful and upset at her for hitting me and scaring my siblings, so i feel too stubborn to apologize for what I said, though I probably will try later once things cooled down, but I feel like the only reason id want to apologize for saying that is because I’m scared God wont forgive me if I don’t, because I still am very upset at what she did.

    Only a while after the fight I realized how bad it might be that I said that and my first reaction to the idea that I might have committed the unforgivable sin was “no I didn’t do it, because even though it was a awful thing to say, I didn’t say it to any works on miracles that she did, I said it about her scary anger, and I truly felt like she went crazy in that moment.

    But I fear that I’m making excuses. I hate feeling paralyzed by guilt and fear like I normally do when I think I have committed terrible sin but then I at least know that I’m not as hardened but like today and I think I haven’t done it, I have fear that I did do it and my heart is just hardened, especially because I’ve been backsliding into old sin since the last week.
     
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  2. Friedrich Rubinstein

    Friedrich Rubinstein Well-Known Member

    773
    +825
    Germany
    Christian
    Private
    I hope you and your mother will get along with each other in the future, but don't be afraid of not being forgiven by God :)

    Before I try to articulate myself in a proper way I'll just send you a link to a short 8-minute video which explains the unforgivable sin in a biblical way.
    Be sure that if you committed it you wouldn't even worry about it.

     
  3. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +29,461
    Anglican
    Married
    Hi, Curlycurl. What you said to her is neither blasphemy nor an unforgivable sin. That seems to be what's concerning you most at this time.

    Repairing your relationship with your mother however, would be worth trying and would possibly make your life easier. That is not in any way to say that what she's been doing is good or right.

    Still, it's better to mend wounds if possible, and I'd recommend that you tell her just what you told us here, that you are sorry for the exchange, that you didn't mean what you said about demons, but that you were carried away, etc.

    This scenario could be considered 'bending over backwards' in order to make peace, but sometimes it is the best policy, especially if you are hoping to get her to take your concerns about the dating and whatever else more to heart.
     
  4. ChristServant

    ChristServant Active Member

    337
    +302
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Single
     
  5. Hopeful37

    Hopeful37 Active Member

    345
    +210
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Private
    Thank u for the video encouragement.
     
  6. Mari17

    Mari17 Well-Known Member

    +383
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    What she did was definitely not kind or healthy behavior, and would be rightfully upsetting. However, I agree that it would probably be good to apologize for what you said. Have things gotten any better between you and your mother?
     
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