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Scared, Hopeless, is it too late for me?

NoahSK

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I’m lost. I have no joy in life anymore. I’ve always been a Christian, my parents raised me as such, but I’m not so sure I was ever saved. I began to watch inappropriate content and stuff when I was around 11 or 12, and it changed me. I became obsessed with sex and other sinful things of this world, and I didn’t really make time for God. I believed in the Bible and God and Jesus, but I didn’t really want to serve Him. I thought that I was saved, and that God would just forgive me of whatever. Now I know that this is wrong, and I realized that, after learning that not everyone who calls Lord Lord will go to the kingdom of heaven. I began to try to really know God, and I thought I had really found and accepted Him. It was the happiest I had ever felt. I would still have times if doubt, and I wanted to be sure of my salvation. I began looking at my life, but didn’t really see any fruits being produced, and I still had the desire to sin, though I attempted to suppress it. I didn’t feel I was changing. I constantly prayed, in tears, for God to change me, soften my heart. Then there were times when the doubt would set in. I would suddenly find it hard to believe in God and Jesus, no matter how hard I tried. The harder I tried to believe, the more I doubted. The more I tried to believe, the more I seemed to fall into unbelief. I didn’t want to stop believing, it just happened, against my will. I wanted so much to believe, I begged for God to let me believe, with tears. I was afraid I had fallen away. Then, when I suddenly would believe again, I would fear that I had fallen away and couldn’t come back (Hebrews 6). I feared I had fallen away and couldn’t come back to repentance, like Esau, though I sought it with many tears. This has been going on for several months, and I have cried more times in this period than I ever had. Am I too far gone? Is there even a sliver of hope for me? Does God want me? How can I be saved? How am I supposed to believe to receive salvation? What do I do? My parents have repeatedly told me that I wasn’t too far gone, and that this was all just because of my OCD. But OCD shouldn’t make me question my faith so much that I have to force myself to believe. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m so confused. My greatest fears are that I will go to Hell when I die, that there is no hope for me, that I am beyond saving, that God doesn’t want me, and that I will eventually fall away, which I don’t want to do.
 

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I’m lost. I have no joy in life anymore. I’ve always been a Christian, my parents raised me as such, but I’m not so sure I was ever saved. I began to watch inappropriate content and stuff when I was around 11 or 12, and it changed me. I became obsessed with sex and other sinful things of this world, and I didn’t really make time for God. I believed in the Bible and God and Jesus, but I didn’t really want to serve Him. I thought that I was saved, and that God would just forgive me of whatever. Now I know that this is wrong, and I realized that, after learning that not everyone who calls Lord Lord will go to the kingdom of heaven. I began to try to really know God, and I thought I had really found and accepted Him. It was the happiest I had ever felt. I would still have times if doubt, and I wanted to be sure of my salvation. I began looking at my life, but didn’t really see any fruits being produced, and I still had the desire to sin, though I attempted to suppress it. I didn’t feel I was changing. I constantly prayed, in tears, for God to change me, soften my heart. Then there were times when the doubt would set in. I would suddenly find it hard to believe in God and Jesus, no matter how hard I tried. The harder I tried to believe, the more I doubted. The more I tried to believe, the more I seemed to fall into unbelief. I didn’t want to stop believing, it just happened, against my will. I wanted so much to believe, I begged for God to let me believe, with tears. I was afraid I had fallen away. Then, when I suddenly would believe again, I would fear that I had fallen away and couldn’t come back (Hebrews 6). I feared I had fallen away and couldn’t come back to repentance, like Esau, though I sought it with many tears. This has been going on for several months, and I have cried more times in this period than I ever had. Am I too far gone? Is there even a sliver of hope for me? Does God want me? How can I be saved? How am I supposed to believe to receive salvation? What do I do? My parents have repeatedly told me that I wasn’t too far gone, and that this was all just because of my OCD. But OCD shouldn’t make me question my faith so much that I have to force myself to believe. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m so confused. My greatest fears are that I will go to Hell when I die, that there is no hope for me, that I am beyond saving, that God doesn’t want me, and that I will eventually fall away, which I don’t want to do.
 
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Ignatius the Kiwi

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Consider how many times you've typed "I" in your post and then perhaps consider that your problem is that you are thinking too much about yourself than you are of others.

When left alone to your own mind I think we tend to fall into something of an abyss that is only relieved when we are distracted with other objects besides our thoughts of self-depreciation. If we aren't prideful but instead self-doubting we might create fictions which we think are true but aren't. You aren't the judge of all things, God is and you should trust in the judgement of your parents who are thinking only of the best for you it seems.

Is there nothing you can look back on and say, you've changed and this change has made you in some way better?

Find other things to attach your thoughts to instead of worrying about yourself all the time. Be that God, other people or certain activities and hobbies. God will be the one to judge you at the end, so why worry so completely about things outside of your knowledge? You should know Christ has died for you and that's enough.
 
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Dansiph

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I’m lost. I have no joy in life anymore. I’ve always been a Christian, my parents raised me as such, but I’m not so sure I was ever saved. I began to watch inappropriate content and stuff when I was around 11 or 12, and it changed me. I became obsessed with sex and other sinful things of this world, and I didn’t really make time for God. I believed in the Bible and God and Jesus, but I didn’t really want to serve Him. I thought that I was saved, and that God would just forgive me of whatever. Now I know that this is wrong, and I realized that, after learning that not everyone who calls Lord Lord will go to the kingdom of heaven. I began to try to really know God, and I thought I had really found and accepted Him. It was the happiest I had ever felt. I would still have times if doubt, and I wanted to be sure of my salvation. I began looking at my life, but didn’t really see any fruits being produced, and I still had the desire to sin, though I attempted to suppress it. I didn’t feel I was changing. I constantly prayed, in tears, for God to change me, soften my heart. Then there were times when the doubt would set in. I would suddenly find it hard to believe in God and Jesus, no matter how hard I tried. The harder I tried to believe, the more I doubted. The more I tried to believe, the more I seemed to fall into unbelief. I didn’t want to stop believing, it just happened, against my will. I wanted so much to believe, I begged for God to let me believe, with tears. I was afraid I had fallen away. Then, when I suddenly would believe again, I would fear that I had fallen away and couldn’t come back (Hebrews 6). I feared I had fallen away and couldn’t come back to repentance, like Esau, though I sought it with many tears. This has been going on for several months, and I have cried more times in this period than I ever had. Am I too far gone? Is there even a sliver of hope for me? Does God want me? How can I be saved? How am I supposed to believe to receive salvation? What do I do? My parents have repeatedly told me that I wasn’t too far gone, and that this was all just because of my OCD. But OCD shouldn’t make me question my faith so much that I have to force myself to believe. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m so confused. My greatest fears are that I will go to Hell when I die, that there is no hope for me, that I am beyond saving, that God doesn’t want me, and that I will eventually fall away, which I don’t want to do.
John the Baptist doubted Jesus and he's known as the greatest man who lived.

Luke 7:20-28 King James Version
20 When the men were come unto him, they said, John Baptist hath sent us unto thee, saying, Art thou he that should come? or look we for another?

21 And in that same hour he cured many of their infirmities and plagues, and of evil spirits; and unto many that were blind he gave sight.

22 Then Jesus answering said unto them, Go your way, and tell John what things ye have seen and heard; how that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached.

23 And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.

Luke 7:28 King James Version
28 For I say unto you, Among those that are born of women there is not a greater prophet than John the Baptist: but he that is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he.

Also David committed adultery and murder and was a man after God's own heart.
 
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NoahSK

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Yes, but I’ve been researching things about Hebrews 6 and it says that if we fall away, we can’t come back. There have been times when I’ve began to strongly doubt God’s existence, to the point where it seems hard to believe, and where I had to literally look up proof of the resurrection to take the doubts away. I don’t know if the problem is doubt or unbelief.
 
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anna ~ grace

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Yes, but I’ve been researching things about Hebrews 6 and it says that if we fall away, we can’t come back. There have been times when I’ve began to strongly doubt God’s existence, to the point where it seems hard to believe, and where I had to literally look up proof of the resurrection to take the doubts away. I don’t know if the problem is doubt or unbelief.
That's total apostacy, friend. Not doubts, struggles, or spiritual tiredness. All of us walk away from God to some extent, daily. All of us can come back. The only exception is our refusal to.
 
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NoahSK

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What's the difference between apostacy and what I'm experiencing, which is what I would describe as unwanted, unwarranted, totally random unbelief? I didn't want to stop believing, but the doubts came and they flooded my mind and I couldn't shake them.
 
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anna ~ grace

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What's the difference between apostacy and what I'm experiencing, which is what I would describe as unwanted, unwarranted, totally random unbelief? I didn't want to stop believing, but the doubts came and they flooded my mind and I couldn't shake them.
Unwanted and totally random. That is the difference. Your will is not consenting of itself to these thoughts, inclinations, and difficulties. You are having negative thoughts which you dislike deeply, and are fighting.
 
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com7fy8

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I’m not so sure I was ever saved.
Hi, Noah . . . welcome to Christian Forums; we are so glad to have you.

One scripture which helps me is how Paul says Christians "first trusted in Christ" > in Ephesians 1:12.

I now understand we have done well if we have trusted in Jesus for all He has done for us on the cross, to get us forgiven and reconciled to God and adopted to be God's own children. And this gives us a clean slate, a new beginning, a fresh start.

However, now that we have begun with Jesus, we still can have sin problems. But a major difference is we now admit they are sin and problems. Plus, we trust and depend on God who is the only One who is able to change us so we get more and more free of our sin trouble, and we grow to become like Jesus and love the way Jesus is about family love but also caring for any and all evil people, with hope for them to join us.

So, yes you have sin trouble, but keep in mind and feed on all the Bible says we can share with God, instead. Wherever you see God's word speaking strongly against sins of unbelief and lusts and arguing and self-righteous anger and unforgiveness and complaining > see also how God's word feeds us so much about all the good which God wants us to have, instead.

Trust God to truly correct you, then, and trust Him to share with you in all His word says He is committed to sharing with us. And be humble to realize how our Heavenly Father cares more about you, than you might care about your own self >

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

So, yes, Noah, you are right about how you have been wrong, but God the One so right is committed to blessing you and truly correcting us to become like Jesus and share with Him and one another in His family caring and sharing love.
 
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GodsGrace101

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Yes, but I’ve been researching things about Hebrews 6 and it says that if we fall away, we can’t come back. There have been times when I’ve began to strongly doubt God’s existence, to the point where it seems hard to believe, and where I had to literally look up proof of the resurrection to take the doubts away. I don’t know if the problem is doubt or unbelief.
Try reading the parable of the Prodigal Son instead.
Luke 15:11-32

Apparently you don't understand Hebrews 6. It has nothing to do with you, but with the Jews of that day...Look it up carefully. Some statements in the N.T. REALLY WERE only for Jews. Hebrews 6:4-6 is one of them.
 
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NoahSK

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Thank you, all of you, for these kind words of encouragement and hope. If it isn't too late for me now, when would it be too late for me, so I can avoid that point? That is one of the most gripping fears I have; getting to the point of no return, beyond any hope of salvation and fellowship with God.
 
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Blade

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Ok.. one LIE from the enemy is "you sinned so much or you keep sinning and theres no hope for you.. or why is God not talking to you? You cant feel hear Him..He left you or He is mad at you" on and on.

So.. if you have ANY of those kind of thoughts then FLIP THEM! Well GOD your FATHER (get that word? YOUR) never ever ever talks to you like that. See He never left you. He is happy with you. Oh yes we sin and it does not please Him for He hates sin. SIN not you. See once you made JESUS lord of you life.. you believe in JESUS as John 3 16-17 said. The Father NOW sees you 100% holy pure righteous.

You are RIGHTEOUS not YOUR righteousness but CHRISTS! You BELIEVE in Christ.. so God sees you know through Christ as finished. He does not see sin.. He cant it can not ever be in Heaven. This is why the WORD OF GOD says we SIT in heavenly places? We can BOLDLY come before Him. If we are STILL full of sin we do not sit in heavenly places and we never come boldly before Him.

So.. this is what you do. You get up dust off... and keep going. That's what ever you did.. you tell Jesus your sorry you repent.. you try not to do it again. And then you BELIEVE He forgives you. Or its like slapping Him in the face. See it says.. He is FAITHFUL and just to forgive us our sin and cleans us from all unrighteousness.

We all sin and fall. We all get stuck in some kind of sin. See you have a NEW SPIRIT..that spirit that GOD made in HIS righteousness can not sin. This body that is FLESH LOVES TO SIN! Sorry this is battle you will have till Christ comes and we then become as He is.

So forgive your self. KNOW the enemy can NEVER tell the truth. Greater is HE that is in you then he that's in the world. You keep your mind on Him and He will keep you in perfect peace. delight your self in the lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Actnoalge Him in all your ways and HE will direct your path. The peace of GOD which passeth all understanding shall keep and guard your mind in Christ Jesus. Jesus gave you HIS peace not as the world gives. We put on the WHOLE armor of GOD..

In all I posted just above is His word. Its ALL HIM! Do you see? Your not in this alone.. He is not against you.. I don't care what you did. HE IS NOT AGAINST YOU HE IS FOR YOU! So... your going to just have to BELIEVE! He LOVES you so much! So rejoice.. Christ came and as John or the sweet sweet Holy Spirit said "behold the lamb of God that TAKES AWAY the sins of the world
 
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anna ~ grace

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Thank you, all of you, for these kind words of encouragement and hope. If it isn't too late for me now, when would it be too late for me, so I can avoid that point? That is one of the most gripping fears I have; getting to the point of no return, beyond any hope of salvation and fellowship with God.
As long as you are alive, friend, there is hope.
 
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NoahSK

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I keep fearing that I will some day walk away from the faith and never come back. I sometimes have thoughts that enter my head, horrible thoughts. For example, I keep having thoughts that I should fall away, or it would be easier if I just gave up. Sometimes I get the thought that if none of it was real, I wouldn't have to worry. These thoughts worry me. I try to shake them, but they keep coming stronger, and I almost find them comforting. What is the condition of my heart that I would have these thoughts?
 
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NoahSK

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Thank you all, again. I really wish I could shake these doubts. The more I tell myself "You believe, He is real, stop believing the lies," the more the doubts and questions and 'what ifs' set in. I know that I want to believe, so I'm just going to rest in the fact that Jesus is with me, despite my apparent failure to believe. It's almost like I want to believe, but a part of me is saying that it makes no sense.
 
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andy b

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Brother you are what you are don't sweat it so much and enjoy life a bit .....if I think about anything for more than two seconds it makes no sense ...but we didn't just pop up out of no where and the disciples went from being cowards to martyr's for no reward..be strong but keep it real
 
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The Righterzpen

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Thank you all, again. I really wish I could shake these doubts. The more I tell myself "You believe, He is real, stop believing the lies," the more the doubts and questions and 'what ifs' set in. I know that I want to believe, so I'm just going to rest in the fact that Jesus is with me, despite my apparent failure to believe. It's almost like I want to believe, but a part of me is saying that it makes no sense.

He is faithful to complete the work that He started. Philippians 1:6

A bruised reed He will not break and a smoking flax He will not quench. Matthew 12:20

Those who truly fall away aren't worried about it, because they come to find no value in being redeemed.
 
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NoahSK

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He is faithful to complete the work that He started. Philippians 1:6

A bruised reed He will not break and a smoking flax He will not quench. Matthew 12:20

Those who truly fall away aren't worried about it, because they come to find no value in being redeemed.
This helps. My parents say something similar. Whenever I have strong doubts, I honestly break down in tears. My parents tell me that if I didn’t believe, I wouldn’t be this worried about it. They tell me that it is the OCD causing me to doubt, not myself. Recently, I’ve been praying for God to lift the doubts and help me believe. I’m going to keep praying and trusting that He will not ignore me. Thank you all.
 
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