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Say to someone who lost a loved one?

Discussion in 'General Struggles' started by blaah4Him, Dec 1, 2003.

  1. blaah4Him

    blaah4Him Newbie

    Well, one of my friends just lost his grandfather...and this has happened a lot, but I always get anxious over what I should say to someone who has just lost a loved one. I'm always afraid I'll say the wrong thing or offend them or something. What should one say, anyhow?
  2. mamaneenie

    mamaneenie Well-Known Member

    It depends on the situation. This is one I struggle with too. I think the best thing to do is tell them you care. Tell them you don't know what to say, sometimes the best thing to do is be there, even if you don't say anything.

    Make sure they are taking care of themselves. Sometimes when people are grieving they don't want to eat, shower, and do other things that they may normally do.

    Also, don't assume that in a few weeks time they are "over it" sometimes it takes a while to work through the grieving process, and the time it takes sometimes depends on how close they were to the person who died. Be available to talk, even if they still want to talk about it 6 months from now.
  3. Lyle

    Lyle I am last minute stuff

    Was this persons Grandfather a Christian?
  4. MsAnne

    MsAnne :)

    Personally, I would say avoid cliches. I lost my father, then within weeks lost my brother. If one more person came up to me and told me they "were in a better place", I was going to scream. Yes, they were both Christians. I KNEW they were in a better place, but that didn't ease MY pain any. I know the people who offered that phrase were at a loss as to what else to say, so I would just smile and agree with them.

    Other than avoiding cliches, I would say anything that comes from your heart would be welcomed. Thank you for your post. It's a good question.
  5. water_ripple

    water_ripple Well-Known Member

    Sometimes words are unfitting..Sometimes hugs and shared tears are the way that eases the time of the passing. In the face of sorrow the best way to uplift someone is to show them the love you have for them.
  6. Stanfi

    Stanfi Senior Veteran

    A hug and a caring smile goes a long way. Let's the person know that you are there. If they want to talk, just make sure you listen, and they know you are listening. As far as what to say all you can say is "I'm sorry for your loss". Nothing you can do will bring them back.