Said something really really bad by accident

[curlycurl]

Im sorry i keep coming back to this but i cant imagine God will forgive me for this.
I had a few really bad thoughts about the holy spirit so I started to insult myself because I wanted to punish myself and I accidentally slipped up while speaking and said something really bad about the holy spirit o accident, a really insulting thing, out loud, if someone was next to me they would've heard it.
I feel like I've really crossed the line this time this time.
How can God forgive me when I said such things out loud.
I can't do this anyone, I started to do a little better the last few days because I was distracting myself with things like making art and talking to my friends but I felt like I was starting to stray away from God so i started to focus on God and then the bad thoughts happened again.
I don't know what to do anymore.
This is really bad.
I feel like this is worse than just thinking those bad thoughts.
Help.
All the other people with ocd just think those thoughts but I feel like I am the only one who said it out loud. How could I let this happen.
Has one else ever said something about the Holy spirit out loud and then found their way back to God? I need to know of it's not too late

 

[Tolworth John]

How can God forgive me when I said such things out loud.

First of all do you see a therapist about your OCD?
You need to talk about coping with your OCD urges.

Second, God knows you and it might surprise you but he loves you as you are. He knows about OCD, what it makes you do.
He knows that it is an illness and he no more blames you for your illness than he blames someone for not going to church because they are sedated and being ventilated due to corvid19.

God does not accuse you because you have OCD..

So thank and praise him for his great understanding and his amazing love for you.

 

[Brightmoon]

Obviously you worry too much . God knows you’re ill and you apologized .

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Im sorry i keep coming back to this but i cant imagine God will forgive me for this.
I had a few really bad thoughts about the holy spirit so I started to insult myself because I wanted to punish myself and I accidentally slipped up while speaking and said something really bad about the holy spirit o accident, a really insulting thing, out loud, if someone was next to me they would've heard it.
I feel like I've really crossed the line this time this time.
How can God forgive me when I said such things out loud.
I can't do this anyone, I started to do a little better the last few days because I was distracting myself with things like making art and talking to my friends but I felt like I was starting to stray away from God so i started to focus on God and then the bad thoughts happened again.
I don't know what to do anymore.
This is really bad.
I feel like this is worse than just thinking those bad thoughts.
Help.
All the other people with ocd just think those thoughts but I feel like I am the only one who said it out loud. How could I let this happen.
Has one else ever said something about the Holy spirit out loud and then found their way back to God? I need to know of it's not too late

Having similar issues.
I was praying and an image of my friend came up and I called them “god”.
I was certain that was it.
I didn’t mean it.
I started to cry.
Still handling this situation, sometimes I think “it wasn’t truly me, it was evil within me that I truly do not desire with my Soul”
Other times I think “it’s got to be me, my heart must be twisted and this is what it really thinks.”
I’ve never been so depressed from images and words in my entire life.
But I’m still clinging to God no matter how many corrupt things come out of me.
He won’t let go, so don’t let go.
It’s not to late. As long as you keep believing you are indeed still His, I promise.

 

[Job405]

Having similar issues.
I was praying and an image of my friend came up and I called them “god”.
I was certain that was it.
I didn’t mean it.
I started to cry.
Still handling this situation, sometimes I think “it wasn’t truly me, it was evil within me that I truly do not desire with my Soul”
Other times I think “it’s got to be me, my heart must be twisted and this is what it really thinks.”
I’ve never been so depressed from images and words in my entire life.
But I’m still clinging to God no matter how many corrupt things come out of me.
He won’t let go, so don’t let go.
It’s not to late. As long as you keep believing you are indeed still His, I promise.

I can't cry to save my life, I am emotionally numb. The fact that you can cry is a good sign that it's not over for you.

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

I can't cry to save my life, I am emotionally numb. The fact that you can cry is a good sign that it's not over for you.

My friend, even if I say something even worse, I do not always cry, sometimes I just get really angry at myself. It’s not over for you friend. Keep the faith

 

[Mari17]

Im sorry i keep coming back to this but i cant imagine God will forgive me for this.
I had a few really bad thoughts about the holy spirit so I started to insult myself because I wanted to punish myself and I accidentally slipped up while speaking and said something really bad about the holy spirit o accident, a really insulting thing, out loud, if someone was next to me they would've heard it.
I feel like I've really crossed the line this time this time.
How can God forgive me when I said such things out loud.
I can't do this anyone, I started to do a little better the last few days because I was distracting myself with things like making art and talking to my friends but I felt like I was starting to stray away from God so i started to focus on God and then the bad thoughts happened again.
I don't know what to do anymore.
This is really bad.
I feel like this is worse than just thinking those bad thoughts.
Help.
All the other people with ocd just think those thoughts but I feel like I am the only one who said it out loud. How could I let this happen.
Has one else ever said something about the Holy spirit out loud and then found their way back to God? I need to know of it's not too late

I've heard this a lot from people with OCD....so it's not just you! I agree with Tolworth John - I believe God understands that we have a mental disorder, and He is merciful on us even if we mess up. One thing those of us with OCD forget is that He is GRACIOUS. He has grace upon us! We tend to think that everything rests on our own perfectionism, but it doesn't. There is great freedom in realizing this!

 

[Mari17]

I can't cry to save my life, I am emotionally numb. The fact that you can cry is a good sign that it's not over for you.

Too much worrying and analyzing can make us mentally numb. It's definitely not over for you. As your OCD gets better, so will your mental and emotional health, and your positive feelings will bounce back!