Rumbling Future

[Umber]

I got my GCSEs today; I wasn't all too pleased.
I mean, all my targets are A*s, and it would be pretentiious to think I'd get all A*s, even though my friend did. I did better than most of my friends did. I got 4 A*s, 4 As and 2 Bs.

And I felt...OK, I suppose. I went back to a friend's house with a load of people. And then 2 of their girlfriends turned up, and I started feeling down (as I do whenever anything suggesting even mild ysexuality appears; I'm asexual). And then I got home, and I looked on a forum I'm a member of, and other people have done so much better than me.
And I realise then, that although my intelligence is all that I have, I can still do no better (indeed, worse) than others who have more than that, who have girlfriends and social lives and happiness.

And then I had a family meal and my parents were "so proud of me", but I wasn't. I'm due counselling tomorrow. I want to die.

I've hit rock bottom before I've even got back to school. Is this how it's to end? With me messing up my projected "perfect score" before I've even got into the application process?

Things will only get worse. I've tried to get help, and it's blown up in my face, what is there left.

 

[Judy02]

I got my GCSEs today; I wasn't all too pleased.
I mean, all my targets are A*s, and it would be pretentiious to think I'd get all A*s, even though my friend did. I did better than most of my friends did. I got 4 A*s, 4 As and 2 Bs.

And I felt...OK, I suppose. I went back to a friend's house with a load of people. And then 2 of their girlfriends turned up, and I started feeling down (as I do whenever anything suggesting even mild ysexuality appears; I'm asexual). And then I got home, and I looked on a forum I'm a member of, and other people have done so much better than me.
And I realise then, that although my intelligence is all that I have, I can still do no better (indeed, worse) than others who have more than that, who have girlfriends and social lives and happiness.

And then I had a family meal and my parents were "so proud of me", but I wasn't. I'm due counselling tomorrow. I want to die.

I've hit rock bottom before I've even got back to school. Is this how it's to end? With me messing up my projected "perfect score" before I've even got into the application process?

Things will only get worse. I've tried to get help, and it's blown up in my face, what is there left.

Firstly wanted to say manny congratualtions on the GCSE results!! Uv done extremely well and I'm not just saying that, 4 A's and 4 A*'s is very impressive! I'm sure academic intelligence is far from all u have, thats ur depressed state of mind talking! And it's not true. Often depression really can cloud our judgement, and we're likely to jump straight to negative assumptions. Keep doing what u feel is helping u - u WILL get better. Keep praying and doing what helps u, and things can only get better, im sure ur making progress all the time.

I know depression affects people in different ways, but its doubly impressive u did so well, considering uv also been battling with depression. I failed some of my university exams this year, coz I've just found it so hard studying with depression so you've done so well!

Don't beat yourself up too much, and become a perfectionist. School's can be incredibly fickle sometimes, and put far too much emphasis on whether u get an A or a B. You only need about 5 GCSE's at grades A - C to progress onto A level or for a job at minimum anyway. You've well exceeded that. You're doing really well for yourself - my GCSE results weren't as good as yours and I got into a red brick university!

Keep fighting, and ul get better, u just need God and the determination! Praying for you xx

 

[AllTalkNoAction]

. .. And I realise then, that although my intelligence is all that I have, I can still do no better (indeed, worse) than others who have more than that, who have girlfriends and social lives and happiness. . . . .

There is another life and another happiness that few people live by . . . the one Jesus and his followers live.

Get spirituality Umber, seek the kingdom of God and you will have God's family and a love, joy, peace and wisdom they don't have.

 

[pockleberry]

Hey it's nice to know that someone feels the same way as me. You got alot better than me but I didn't expect to get grades like that...I got 4 A's 5 B's and 2 C's. I've had everyone telling me how good they are 'considering' which makes me feel like if I hadn't have had depression then they would be expecting alot more from me. I started getting very down and mad at myself for not doing better and even considered suicide...but then I remembered something someone said to me 'Your results don't change who you are or your leval of intellegence they just refelct how you did on a certain day' It's not always easy to accept but GCSE results won't make much difference to the rest of your life so don't give up on yourself now because you have so much potential to go on and do amazing things. However hopeless life might seem there is always a way to get through it.

This might not help you much if you don't believe me but having a girlfriend or a good social life doesn't make you any more or any less of a person.

 

[Judy02]

This might not help you much if you don't believe me but having a girlfriend or a good social life doesn't make you any more or any less of a person.

haha nope! Like everything, I can think of pros and cons to everything in life, and a number of great advantages to being single. E.g. more freedom, not having to consult someone else on how u live ur life affects them, being able to do what u want, when u want as an adult. When u go out with someone, ur commitments become divided as there's always someone else to consider. Arguments in a relationship, may also bring about more stress and depression sometimes. Obviously, there's some good things about being in a relationship as well but it helps to get it into perspective. It's not always good. It can be helpful to enjoy the good things a single life brings. Even Paul in the bible said people who are married - their priorities become divided, and highlighted some of the advantages of being single.

Also, maybe God wants u to get better from depression first, have some time devoted solely to God and yourself and get yourself feeling better first, before being occupied with a girlfriend. Despite what society have told us in the past, not being in a relationship doesn't make u any less of a person. Try to look at how ur benefitting at the moment, without being tied into a relationship too? xxx

 

[Umber]

Get spirituality Umber, seek the kingdom of God and you will have God's family and a love, joy, peace and wisdom they don't have.

I have a spiritual sense, and God is not part of its equation, as I am not part of God's equation.

Pockleberry, in a sense just getting enough to carry on into Sixth form is good enough, really. And standardised testing will never be a true measure of intelligence. ^__^
But it does indicate your level of academic attainment, and I'm worried that my application to some Universities may be compromised by my grades.

I don't want a relationship, believe you me. I'd never be able to sustain it, esp. as I live 25 miles from anywhere.
But it would be nice, I suppose, to know that there is mutual attraction between myself and someone else. =_=