Romantic relationships in this and the next life

ImAllLikeOkWaitWat

For who can resist his will?
Aug 18, 2015
5,531
2,860
✟328,057.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I think if in the bible God said don't worry if you don't find your soul mate in this life(which you probably won't) I already have them prepared for you in the next life. If the bible said that then I think no one would ever worry about finding that special somebody because they are guaranteed to do so.

Of course a lot of people believe we won't have any romantic relationships in the next life. One reason is because jesus said we don't marry in heaven. One thing to keep in mind is maybe we don't marry in heaven but do on the new earth. Heaven and the new earth aren't the same thing.

If we don't marry in the next life then why do we desire it so much in this life? Why did God pair Adam with Eve and say its not good for man to be alone? If the point was to have this temporal pleasure with the opposite sex with no carry over into the next then what's the point of that?

If romantic relationships are good then surely they would carry over into the next life. CS lewis said something along the lines of if you have a need for something surely there's a way for that need to be fulfilled. Will our romantic desire cease to exist in the next life? If it is good then I don't see why it would. And if this is the case then no one should worry if they find him or her in this life.

The alternative is romantic relationships are just for this life and outside of this earthly life they cease to exist. I think a better argument is romantic relationships are for the earth and they will continue in the new earth.
 

Amittai

baggage apostate
Aug 20, 2006
1,426
491
✟41,180.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
We could have several probable "soul mates". At the end of the day it doesn't matter if we "find" them or not. (But it's far easier in practical terms, if one has the live-in staff.) As long as we don't hop from one to the next inappropriately.

Every couple needs good friends.

What seems like romance can sometimes be cloying.
 
Upvote 0

dayhiker

Mature veteran
Sep 13, 2006
15,557
5,288
MA
✟220,077.00
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
I never got the idea put forth by some that this essential part of us that wants intimacy would be torn out of us in the next life.

To me the message of the Trinity is that God isn't a monolith ruler from on high but that God is relational within his being foremost. Us being created in the image of God then means that our essence is relational as well and intimacy is part of that relationship stuff. Ya, there is the buddy buddy stuff as well.
 
Upvote 0

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,716
6,139
Massachusetts
✟586,471.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
your soul mate
Being concerned about finding your soul mate can be about self.

God wants us first to be concerned about what He wants and is doing . . . now.

But what He wants now includes how He has us relating with one another as His family >

"Do all things without complaining and disputing" (in Philippians 2:13-16)

"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

This way of loving makes us intimate with various other children of God, in what is true intimacy much more beneficial and enjoyable than human isolated romance with just some one person. And His love is so much more enjoyable than any sort of physical intimacy with pleasure. Not to mention > ones in worldly romance can be intimate, really, only with their own feelings they are having inside their own selves; they are not truly intimate with one another. Only in God's love can we be truly intimate . . . first with God, and this has us intimate with all our family of Jesus . . . all who are intimate with God and the way His love has our character become like Christ.

And so we are loving the way God's word says to love >

"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." (Ephesians 5:2)

And this makes us intimate spiritually with Jesus our Groom, plus with one another who love like this. And so we are not isolating with only some one person we use for pleasure and confuse this with love.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: Ronit
Upvote 0

SeekingGloryOnThisJourney

Well-Known Member
Apr 13, 2020
497
396
Massachusetts
✟29,918.00
Country
United States
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Single
Who but God knows?
Maybe we will see our husbands and wives in the next life, but have no romantic feeling. Christ said we will become “like the angels in heaven.”
But even if we don’t, seeing God’s full glory, who needs anything else?
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Ronit
Upvote 0

dayhiker

Mature veteran
Sep 13, 2006
15,557
5,288
MA
✟220,077.00
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
In Relationship
Politics
US-Others
I'm sorry .. but these types of thoughts, that I've heard from people for decades now, I find to be so heavenly/spiritually minded that they are no earthly good. We aren't some spiritually ethereal being, we are human beings designed to live on the earth!
 
Upvote 0

Sketcher

Born Imperishable
Feb 23, 2004
38,984
9,400
✟380,249.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
I think if in the bible God said don't worry if you don't find your soul mate in this life(which you probably won't) I already have them prepared for you in the next life. If the bible said that then I think no one would ever worry about finding that special somebody because they are guaranteed to do so.
I haven't read that in Scripture, and I have either read all of it, or most of it (reading the OT was fragmented). Where in Scripture did you find this?

Of course a lot of people believe we won't have any romantic relationships in the next life. One reason is because jesus said we don't marry in heaven. One thing to keep in mind is maybe we don't marry in heaven but do on the new earth. Heaven and the new earth aren't the same thing.
In that case, it would be before the resurrection of the saints (Mark 12:25). So the next life wouldn't have begun yet.

If we don't marry in the next life then why do we desire it so much in this life? Why did God pair Adam with Eve and say its not good for man to be alone? If the point was to have this temporal pleasure with the opposite sex with no carry over into the next then what's the point of that?

If romantic relationships are good then surely they would carry over into the next life. CS lewis said something along the lines of if you have a need for something surely there's a way for that need to be fulfilled. Will our romantic desire cease to exist in the next life? If it is good then I don't see why it would. And if this is the case then no one should worry if they find him or her in this life.
Paul in Ephesians 5:22-32 talks about how marital relationships on Earth are an allegory for the church's relationship to God in Heaven:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish
. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Marriage at its absolute best will reflect how God loves the church. It is a foretaste, an hors d'oeuvre. Heaven is the meal. But it will be different and greater in nature as well, since it won't be sexual. This will reflect our new bodies that we will get at the resurrection, as taught in 1 Corinthians 15:35-54. The fleshly body will be replaced with the spiritual body, and our sexual ways will go with the fleshly body. We won't have a sex drive anymore, but I believe we will have a stronger God-drive. We were created for relationship with God, and worship of God, which is still evident in this life, but will be clear as day in the next life. We may need God to fill our hearts now, but when we see him face to face, I believe that will be indescribably stronger. I personally believe part of the weeping and gnashing of teeth that will happen in Hell (Matthew 8:11-12) will be because of the pain of being rejected by God. The worst heartbreak on Earth won't be able to hold a candle to that.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dayhiker
Upvote 0

ImAllLikeOkWaitWat

For who can resist his will?
Aug 18, 2015
5,531
2,860
✟328,057.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Paul in Ephesians 5:22-32 talks about how marital relationships on Earth are an allegory for the church's relationship to God in Heaven:


Marriage at its absolute best will reflect how God loves the church. It is a foretaste, an hors d'oeuvre. Heaven is the meal. But it will be different and greater in nature as well, since it won't be sexual. This will reflect our new bodies that we will get at the resurrection, as taught in 1 Corinthians 15:35-54. The fleshly body will be replaced with the spiritual body, and our sexual ways will go with the fleshly body. We won't have a sex drive anymore, but I believe we will have a stronger God-drive. We were created for relationship with God, and worship of God, which is still evident in this life, but will be clear as day in the next life. We may need God to fill our hearts now, but when we see him face to face, I believe that will be indescribably stronger. I personally believe part of the weeping and gnashing of teeth that will happen in Hell (Matthew 8:11-12) will be because of the pain of being rejected by God. The worst heartbreak on Earth won't be able to hold a candle to that.

So your view is we marry Jesus in heaven? What about on the new earth? Why did jesus say we don't marry in heaven if your view is we actually do marry in heaven. You either have to disregard what Jesus said about marriage or accept there is marriage. What I have done is come up with a way in which what Jesus said could still be true yet deal with the romance problem. It seems some believe romance is bad and God is going to get rid of it in the next life. I'm not sure why.

You do say that our fleshly desires will go away with our new heavenly body but we also know that there will be feasts in the next life. Why are we allowed to feed our hunger drive and not our sexual drive if we have no longer have either?
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Sketcher

Born Imperishable
Feb 23, 2004
38,984
9,400
✟380,249.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
So your view is we marry Jesus in heaven? What about on the new earth? Why did jesus say we don't marry in heaven if your view is we actually do marry in heaven.
I actually did not say that. I said that the church is the bride of Christ, and we are all part of the church, and that marriage on Earth at its best is an allegory for what Heaven will be like. I did not say that we marry anyone in the literal sense. I believe both Mark 12:25 where Jesus says we will not marry or be given in marriage at the resurrection, and Revelation 19:6-9 which tells us of the wedding feast of the Lamb, but the saints are the guests of that feast who are blessed. Several verses earlier, there is song of praise of the downfall of the great prostitute, understood to be Babylon, understood to be allegorical for a major anti-Christian world power. So we would do well to not be over-literal when we hear about the church being the bride of Christ.

You either have to disregard what Jesus said about marriage or accept there is marriage.
Umm, what? Jesus didn't say there was literal marriage in Heaven, he said it won't take place there. So "accepting" that literal marriage takes place in Heaven would be disregarding what Jesus said. Which would mean I would have to disregard what Jesus said, or I would have to disregard what Jesus said, which makes no sense.

It seems some believe romance is bad and God is going to get rid of it in the next life. I'm not sure why.
Some may believe that, but they're often the people that either say that sex even between legitimately married people is sinful or at least has to be endured rather than enjoyed. I don't let that kind of thinking guide me.

You do say that our fleshly desires will go away with our new heavenly body but we also know that there will be feasts in the next life. Why are we allowed to feed our hunger drive and not our sexual drive if we have no longer have either?
Another allegory. I don't know if we will have or need literal food in Heaven, either as we know it, or if we will "feed" on something else. I make room for either to be true.
 
Upvote 0

Sketcher

Born Imperishable
Feb 23, 2004
38,984
9,400
✟380,249.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
@Sketcher Seems you'd rather be right than discover the truth with me so I'm going to bow out of this conversation.
Think hard enough and long enough about what I have said, and you may find it's not the case at all.
 
Upvote 0

Sir Robbins

Waiting for Fall
Sep 28, 2012
857
336
Saint Augustine, FL
✟52,747.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Celibate
Politics
US-Libertarian
since I won't be having one in this life and "my understanding" is one will not exist in the next, I guess I am just bummed out about the fact that I'll miss something that most people get to experience :sigh::sigh::sigh:
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Jamdoc

Watching and Praying Always
Oct 22, 2019
7,496
2,334
43
Helena
✟207,195.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
I think if in the bible God said don't worry if you don't find your soul mate in this life(which you probably won't) I already have them prepared for you in the next life. If the bible said that then I think no one would ever worry about finding that special somebody because they are guaranteed to do so.

Of course a lot of people believe we won't have any romantic relationships in the next life. One reason is because jesus said we don't marry in heaven. One thing to keep in mind is maybe we don't marry in heaven but do on the new earth. Heaven and the new earth aren't the same thing.

If we don't marry in the next life then why do we desire it so much in this life? Why did God pair Adam with Eve and say its not good for man to be alone? If the point was to have this temporal pleasure with the opposite sex with no carry over into the next then what's the point of that?

If romantic relationships are good then surely they would carry over into the next life. CS lewis said something along the lines of if you have a need for something surely there's a way for that need to be fulfilled. Will our romantic desire cease to exist in the next life? If it is good then I don't see why it would. And if this is the case then no one should worry if they find him or her in this life.

The alternative is romantic relationships are just for this life and outside of this earthly life they cease to exist. I think a better argument is romantic relationships are for the earth and they will continue in the new earth.

Unless you mean Jesus by that soulmate then no.
Unfortunately, whether you find a "soulmate" in this life or not, Matthew 22:30 states that there is no marriage in heaven, the institution that God said was "very good" He has decided to do away with in eternity and as far as I can tell, your intimate relationship is with Him.

I have to admit, it's emasculating to think about that a man's only intimate relationship will be with another male being with a beard.
 
Upvote 0

Jamdoc

Watching and Praying Always
Oct 22, 2019
7,496
2,334
43
Helena
✟207,195.00
Country
United States
Faith
Baptist
Marital Status
Single
Who but God knows?
Maybe we will see our husbands and wives in the next life, but have no romantic feeling. Christ said we will become “like the angels in heaven.”
But even if we don’t, seeing God’s full glory, who needs anything else?
Adam walked with God and God still decided that it is not good for the man to be alone.
I am baffled at why He would change that, and why if the eternal plan was for man to have an intimate relationship with God, as His bride, why was it Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve? It confuses everything as a male Christian, that we're told male male intimacy is an abomination, woman was created for man, and then ultimately true intimacy is male male for those male christians. It doesn't seem right.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dayhiker
Upvote 0

ReesePiece23

The Peanut Buttery Member.
Sep 17, 2013
5,796
5,265
33
✟288,577.00
Faith
Christian
I have to admit, it's emasculating to think about that a man's only intimate relationship will be with another male being with a beard.

I'm fairly certain that the old algorithm will be abolished in lieu of a more dynamic one. The whole point of death is to level up, evolve and improve.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: public hermit
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums