Responding to Death of Unsaved Family

[rapturefish]

I am a Christian who speaks in tongues and believes in a pentecostal-type faith, though still attending a Presbyterian church (another story). I recently lost my father, whom we prayed for for a long time and he died most likely unsaved. He left a big emotional and financial hole, lots of questions and few answers. His was a tragic story of a life without God, and we had hoped for so long it would have ended well.

How do you in your faith in the Spirit respond to such a hopeless story? What can you take from it that is purposeful or hopeful? I am now on the journey of grieving and I am honestly angry at what the evil one did in his life, and that his death has highlighted the poverty our family has lived under spiritually despite all the wonderful things of the spirit so far seen personally - it seems we still have some sort of spiritual blockage and seeing our family remain quite ineffective in terms of life purpose and going anywhere. I don't want to lose like this on these fronts, and I know there are answers out there. I hope there can be some different perspectives here that are helpful.

Kind regards,

Ben

 

[Instrument150]

I am a Christian who speaks in tongues and believes in a pentecostal-type faith, though still attending a Presbyterian church (another story). I recently lost my father, whom we prayed for for a long time and he died most likely unsaved. He left a big emotional and financial hole, lots of questions and few answers. His was a tragic story of a life without God, and we had hoped for so long it would have ended well.

How do you in your faith in the Spirit respond to such a hopeless story? What can you take from it that is purposeful or hopeful? I am now on the journey of grieving and I am honestly angry at what the evil one did in his life, and that his death has highlighted the poverty our family has lived under spiritually despite all the wonderful things of the spirit so far seen personally - it seems we still have some sort of spiritual blockage and seeing our family remain quite ineffective in terms of life purpose and going anywhere. I don't want to lose like this on these fronts, and I know there are answers out there. I hope there can be some different perspectives here that are helpful.

Kind regards,

Ben

First of all, take this sorrow into yourself and become it. Meditate on it. Explore all of the subtle reasons for it and do not hide from it. Because it is from our Father. His sorrow is so much more multiplied if this is the case, and He wants you to know. He wants you to feel it, you're made in His image and that's a lot more than visually speaking.

Second of all, this man is only your father in your current understanding of reality. Your bond to him is a product of your flesh, not that it is wrong for you to feel that way, after all, this design is from God too. Take solace in the fact the one day your understanding will go beyond that bond in the full realization of eternal family ... being presented here as a metaphor in our earthly families.

And when one of these family members chooses spiritual death, you have NOT lost a battle. Because should you ever have "won" that battle, then all the glory to you. And that is sin's very nature. That being the case, how is God glorified through someone experiencing spiritual death?

He isn't.

That's why it hurts. That's why they have to go live somewhere outside of our universe, where God refuses to allow his presence. Thus banishing them from the reality that is designed for his glorification.

 

[Korean-American Christian]

I am a Christian who speaks in tongues and believes in a pentecostal-type faith, though still attending a Presbyterian church (another story). I recently lost my father, whom we prayed for for a long time and he died most likely unsaved. He left a big emotional and financial hole, lots of questions and few answers. His was a tragic story of a life without God, and we had hoped for so long it would have ended well.

How do you in your faith in the Spirit respond to such a hopeless story? What can you take from it that is purposeful or hopeful? I am now on the journey of grieving and I am honestly angry at what the evil one did in his life, and that his death has highlighted the poverty our family has lived under spiritually despite all the wonderful things of the spirit so far seen personally - it seems we still have some sort of spiritual blockage and seeing our family remain quite ineffective in terms of life purpose and going anywhere. I don't want to lose like this on these fronts, and I know there are answers out there. I hope there can be some different perspectives here that are helpful.

Kind regards,

Ben

My dear brother Ben,

I will keep your family in prayer.

Because purgatory does not exist, we should strive to lead as many of our family members to Jesus Christ as we can (through the power of the Holy Spirit, of course).

**********
My father's mother and my father's brother were atheists when they passed on.
Two of my father's brother's are JW's. I pray that they will repent and turn to Jesus Christ for eternal life.
**********

May our Lord Jesus Christ be with your family as you grieve

 

[RGW00]

I am a Christian who speaks in tongues and believes in a pentecostal-type faith, though still attending a Presbyterian church (another story). I recently lost my father, whom we prayed for for a long time and he died most likely unsaved. He left a big emotional and financial hole, lots of questions and few answers. His was a tragic story of a life without God, and we had hoped for so long it would have ended well.

How do you in your faith in the Spirit respond to such a hopeless story? What can you take from it that is purposeful or hopeful? I am now on the journey of grieving and I am honestly angry at what the evil one did in his life, and that his death has highlighted the poverty our family has lived under spiritually despite all the wonderful things of the spirit so far seen personally - it seems we still have some sort of spiritual blockage and seeing our family remain quite ineffective in terms of life purpose and going anywhere. I don't want to lose like this on these fronts, and I know there are answers out there. I hope there can be some different perspectives here that are helpful.

Kind regards,

Ben

That story is very unfortunate and disheartening to hear. I can't begin to tell you how I feel because I have never lost someone like that. But to look at it from my standpoint, it's okay to be angry with Satan for what he did. As long as that anger doesn't make your beliefs hang in the balance of God. That anger could lead to anger at God because He allowed it to happen.

The hopeful thing you can take away from this is because this stood out to you in your life. Sadly, it happened in this way but God is showing you examples of people that have fallen and He is trying to tell you to hold fast to His promises.

God makes everything happen for a reason. This could be a trial for you and your family that He is giving to you to become stronger through Him, to test your faith through what seems a hopeless effort. I hate to say this but that was his choice to not follow God, no one else's. The opportunity, it sounds like, was presented to him multiple times and he never allowed it to enter his soul.

Anger is not a sin, but taken too far or being angry at the wrong things can lead to sin. Jesus turned the tables of the church in the Temple and was very angry with them.

Pray to God and ask you to not let that anger at Satan affect your life with Him and He will provide. Continue to grieve through God, and God will make you feel better about the situation. Prayers for you and your family and my deepest condolensces.

 

[tryintogrow]

I am now on the journey of grieving and I am honestly angry at what the evil one did in his life, and that his death has highlighted the poverty our family has lived under spiritually despite all the wonderful things of the spirit so far seen personally - it seems we still have some sort of spiritual blockage and seeing our family remain quite ineffective in terms of life purpose and going anywhere.

Your family sounds a lot like mine. I know exactly what you mean. Principalities set up shop over a family, and it's extremely difficult to remove them.

To make any change in your family, you will need to build a coalition. Work on one or two family members who know Jesus. Join with them to make a new family. Reject the old family traditions -- out loud -- and begin a new lineage. Support each other, encourage each other, and pray together. Then work on bringing in another family member. As the new family grows, it will overpower the old one.

Leave your father in God's hands and stop trying to figure it out. Trust that God is in control. There are people in front of you today, alive and well, who need your help.

 

[GandalfTheWise]

I recently lost my father, whom we prayed for for a long time and he died most likely unsaved. He left a big emotional and financial hole, lots of questions and few answers. His was a tragic story of a life without God, and we had hoped for so long it would have ended well.

God sees things we do not. One of my cousins lost one of his sons in a car accident. The son had taken his own course in life and they hadn't seriously spoken in the final month or so. Someone (a prison chaplain if I recall correctly) approached my cousin at the funeral and told him about how the son had just recently become a Christian a short time before the accident. This happened a long time ago so I'm a bit vague on the details (which I heard second hand), but the gist of it is accurate.

...his death has highlighted the poverty our family has lived under spiritually despite all the wonderful things of the spirit so far seen personally - it seems we still have some sort of spiritual blockage and seeing our family remain quite ineffective in terms of life purpose and going anywhere. I don't want to lose like this on these fronts, and I know there are answers out there. I hope there can be some different perspectives here that are helpful.

Ultimately, the main thing each of us can do individually is focus on our own spiritual walk with God; live our own life walking with Him, and let His love and power can flow out from us to others. I knew one large family growing up that was fairly far from Christian as far as I could see. One of them became a Christian, and over the next 10 to 15 years or so, both parents and 6 of 8 (I think it was) kids were as of the last I heard about 5 years ago.

Hang in there. I don't mean this to sound trite, but God loves each member of your family and will individually work on them even if it doesn't seem obvious.

 

[paul1149]

How do you in your faith in the Spirit respond to such a hopeless story? What can you take from it that is purposeful or hopeful?

For me the answer began with understanding that God is both perfectly just and perfectly merciful. He knows the reasons why people don't believe. Recall that Jesus said it would go better for Sodom than it would for Capernaum in the judgment, because Capernaum had seen greater works and still had not repented. God is the only one who knows the secret motivations of the heart, and that is what counts to Him, not appearances.

We also don't know exactly what transpires in the final moment of death. I believe many a reconciliation takes place.

In my case, I also had a dream with revealed to me that a departed loved one who I could not get along with, and who seemed to have only a formal religion, truly did love me and was safely with Him.

Once we are convinced that God is exactly the one we want judging our loved ones, and will do a far better job than even ourselves, we can surrender our grief to Him in full confidence that "the Maker of the whole world will do what is right". Then we will be able to face our new life in Christ with nothing holding us back. Of course, we have to forgive any offenses our loved ones had committed against us, if we want to be free.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

My deepest condolences for you and your family.

I lost my dad earlier this year and like you he not only was a staunch atheist throughout my life but also into my adulthood.

As others have said here, getting another family member who believes to keep unsaved family members in prayer is the way forward for those others in our families who are still unsaved.

Prior to my dad's death I was reminded of the verse - nothing is impossible with God and I felt the need to rely on the Word of God and trust in this alone in my focused prayers for my dad.

I was present when he gave up his spirit and I believe with confidence that he made his decision minutes before giving up his spirit.

Prayers for you, friend - the next few months will see a roller coaster of emotions but take comfort in the fact that as you mourn, the Lord will be a strong comfort to you

 

[rapturefish]

Thank you everyone for your replies. They are diverse and give me much to reflect on, I appreciate your thoughts and well wishes. It's not easy and will continue to be so for who knows how long, but it is a journey with the same God who has never failed me.

 

[lismore]

I recently lost my father, whom we prayed for for a long time and he died most likely unsaved.
Ben

Hi Ben

I had a great-uncle who died, most people believed unsaved. When I knew him I thought there was no way in the world he was a believer. Later by chance I discovered that in his younger days he had been an elder in the Presbyterian Church in the 1930s and had (unknown to any relatives) attended an AOG church in the 1980s in his latter days. My point is that only the Lord knows who are his.

God Bless You

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

I am a Christian who speaks in tongues and believes in a pentecostal-type faith, though still attending a Presbyterian church (another story). I recently lost my father, whom we prayed for for a long time and he died most likely unsaved. He left a big emotional and financial hole, lots of questions and few answers. His was a tragic story of a life without God, and we had hoped for so long it would have ended well.

How do you in your faith in the Spirit respond to such a hopeless story? What can you take from it that is purposeful or hopeful? I am now on the journey of grieving and I am honestly angry at what the evil one did in his life, and that his death has highlighted the poverty our family has lived under spiritually despite all the wonderful things of the spirit so far seen personally - it seems we still have some sort of spiritual blockage and seeing our family remain quite ineffective in terms of life purpose and going anywhere. I don't want to lose like this on these fronts, and I know there are answers out there. I hope there can be some different perspectives here that are helpful.

Kind regards,

Ben

God is merciful, and we don't know what took place between your dad and God during that inbetween time of life and death.