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Religious vs. non-religious kids

Discussion in 'Parenting Teens and Young Adults' started by stophurtingyourkid, Oct 24, 2012.

  1. stophurtingyourkid

    stophurtingyourkid Newbie

    My question is pertaining to young adults age 18 to 25. I want to know as a parent how you would explain the fact that ( as I see it and have witnessed) there are so many young people who have problems today. I have known many parents who are Christian and have raised their kids with such values yet these kids end up at the age of 18 or 19 or 20 with major problems. The problems range from pregnancy out of marrige or unplanned to drug abuse to rebelious behavior . If raising a child with good morals and values which are Christain is better than raising them without such a strong religious upbringing , than why do so many of these kids end up becoming drug addicts and parents and act out in many other rebellious ways as soon as they are over 18. Many even under 18 and still at home also exibit these behaviors and rebel against thier faith and the values that these parents have tried to instill in them. So why is raising a child with this belief system better? Please show me the proof.
  2. Willie T

    Willie T St. Petersburg Vineyard

    The answer: Jesus.
  3. Willie T

    Willie T St. Petersburg Vineyard

    But the answer truly IS Jesus. A child raised to understand and appreciate a relationship with the actual person of Jesus is far more likely to turn out "better" than one just subjected to some religious rules.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 27, 2012
  4. motherprayer

    motherprayer Elisha

    Sometimes good parents have bad kids. Sometimes bad parent have good kids. Sometimes bad parents have bad kids and sometimes good parents have good kids.

    That applies to both Christian and non-Christian parents.
  5. Eric Hibbert

    Eric Hibbert Guest

    The problem is that Christian parents tend to compartmentalize their faith and believe they can be Christians on Sunday, but live like the world Monday through Saturday.

    For instance, how many Christians do we see turning their children over to a wordly, humanistic, government school system for their education? They turn their children over to pagans for eight hours a day, five days a week, nine months a year, and then act surprised when their children become pagans.

    Dating is another example. Most Christian parents let their children date, unchaperoned, and unprepared. Most Christian parents wait until their children are twelve and thirteen, sit them down, and have "the talk" with them and then act like they've done their duty.

    The truth is, raising a child who understands the importance of Biblical manhood, womanhood, and intimacy is a full time job that starts when they're born. Godly marriage must be modeled for children. Children must be taught that marriage has a role in God's Kingdom to model the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the Church, and not just an excuse to sell cards on Valentine's Day.

    And any concept of Biblical manhood and womanhood is completely lost.

    Christian parents are rarely discerning about their children's friends or media influences.

    I don't blame the parents totally for this. In the 60's, the Church began to blur the lines between the Church and the world, believing that we can live with one foot in each and parents have bought into this. They send their children off to VBS and Sunday School, but ignore discipleship and mentorship in favor of entertainment. Our churches often accept children as members just because their parents are members.

    The problem is not Christianity. The problem is what we've been convinced Christianity is.

    Long story short, the Church has abandoned its children to the world.
  6. Angeldove97

    Angeldove97 We wait, and watch, and wonder.


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  7. stophurtingyourkid

    stophurtingyourkid Newbie

    BabyBear says Thank You !!

    Thats my doggie. I wanted to insert a pic of her but dont seem to know how. When I clicked on the insert image icon it wouldnt allow me to post a pic. Maybe someone can explain.
  8. If Not For Grace

    If Not For Grace Legend-but then so's Keith Richards

    a house should be built on a solid foundation. Almost every generation has a "straying" period with its young, just like the prodigal son story in the Bible. There is even a verse that talks about "raising a child up in the way he should go and when he is older he will return to it". It's childrens jobs to test what they have been taught-some "stray" futher than others, but w/o a foundation more would stay "strayed" those w/o the foundation have nothing to return to. I am one who strayed and retruned-it's the old "Mamma & Daddy were right" syndrome :)
  9. homeofmew

    homeofmew Master Trainer Supporter

    In Relationship
    By the time someone is 18 and definitely 21 you shouldn't be pushing you belief down their throat, they need to decide for themselves. They don't have a true relationship with god if they fake it to make YOU happy.
  10. wholehalfmom

    wholehalfmom Newbie

    Actually it doesn't apply to either. There is no such thing as good/bad kids/parents, there are just people, and all people struggle. Some have the inner will and external support to reach their full potential on their own and some do not, and those who do not should be helped, not vilified.
  11. Affliction

    Affliction Member


    Hi, my father prefers my sister over me because I have piercings and tattoos, enjoy going to concerts, and have a fairly open relationship with a girl who has the same lifestyle as me. My dad doesn't like who I am and barely talks to me simply because of who I am. Yeah, he's a bad parent.
  12. ProudMomxmany

    ProudMomxmany slightly insane mom of many

    I can't give you statistical proof, but I can give you my experiences as a mom of many, 8 of which are now adults. Not all 8 will be mentioned here, just the "problem children".

    #1 daughter - pregnant at 16, twins. Boys born prematurely, she and the FOB consider giving them up for adoption. They end up placing them in relative foster care (his parents) and go off and "do their thing" including drugs, alcohol and a variety of other things. Fast forward a couple of years. Daughter discovers she is pregnant again. They get clean and sober, get married. They regain custody of their boys. She goes to a community college for graphic arts. He is a teacher. She has a thriving free-lance business and they have 4 children. He started going back to church, she went (just to shut him up at first). They ended up rededicating their lives to Christ and dedicated the children. The children are now 14 (the twins), 10 and 9. The children are living in a Christian home.

    #1 son - the prototypical "angry young man". Moved out at 18 because he needed "freedom". Drugs, booze, etc. He hit bottom and realized this was not the life he wanted to lead. Enlisted in the Army. Married a girl who treated him like dirt. Divorced her (no children). Got out of the Army. Called mom (me) to find him a church (he had not attended church in about 6 years at that point). Mom gives him suggestions, he finds a place for him. Rededicated himself, was baptized and is attending Liberty University through their online program.

    Other children had their own struggles over the years, questioning faith, doing things that aren't exactly in line with the values we tried to instill in them. However, of the 8 adult children, 7 of them have either never rebelled or rebelled and repented. #8 (boy) is still out there working his stuff out. I am not blind to the idea that the 4 at home may rebel as they are 16, 14, 12, and 10. But, I have a feeling that their older siblings will step in if they do start going down the wrong road.

    A Christian parent is not a "failure" if their children choose to rebel. Children are not clones of their parents, and sometimes their own free will leads them down roads they shouldn't go. BUT, as parents, you keep praying, keep talking, keep loving. With my oldest, all I could do is keep thinking of the parable of the prodigal son. The end of that is that the prodigal comes home. I prayed for that for years!

    God doesn't promise us a struggle free life. He doesn't promise a pain-free life. He doesn't promise that our children won't rebel...heaven knows, he's had enough rebellious children of his own! He does promise that he answers prayer.

    Having 12 children, I've pretty much seen it all by now and I still have 4 at home. I'm not worried about their futures, they were dedicated to the Lord before their births.

    FTR: my children were all homeschooled. The one who had some learning disabilities was privately tutored by a special ed teacher.

    CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN Charlee. 8 /18 / 2017

    United States
    I've seen many of these religious people not setting good examples. So, Of course their kids aren't being godly and setting a good example. One of my aunts, used to get drunk, beat and choke her kids while she was drunk. Set many bad examples. Of course she went to church and so did her kids, but they are pretty screwed up from there abuse. I think if your religious, raise your to love god, set a good example. If your not, set a good example and don't be religious. I think it's has more to do with how well you raise them and being a role model.
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2013