The way I tend to see it, is that there might be several people who share the necessary foundation with you, in order to build a relationship. But then the two of you will have to actually build it. And that this won't be possible without actual commitment, love and loyalty to each other. So to me, the concept of "the one" is something that can be created, but not something pre-made that you just stumble upon. Even basic friendship works the same way.
A few years ago I tried online dating for a little while, and I concluded that it was completely pointless. I wasn't really getting to know anybody through coffee dates, and I knew my coworkers far better after just two weeks working with them because our jobs were very challenging and required a lot of teamwork. Funnily enough I developed a small crush on a male coworker of mine, while we were in the midst of doing the careful tango that is trying to control and direct a large/strong dementia patient without being inhumane (yet still getting the job done). So there we were, in the bathroom of this nursing home, with gross bodily fluids from an old person on ourselves, smelling bad and looking pretty awful (us, not the patient), and getting slammed around in a situation that was rather stressful, gross and awkward all rolled into one, with a screaming naked person between us. I mean you all get the picture, my apologies for it. But it wasn't exactly a nice little coffee shop scene. But I observed that he had very high quality of character, that he was very patient, protective and compassionate, and that he could work well with me, being both respectful of me while still being a leader at the same time, so there in that place and situation of all places, I realized that I was really starting to like this guy. Of course, so did every other female caregiver in the place lol, so the competition was pretty fierce, but the point being that I realized that if I ever did have a relationship again, I wanted to build it, not find it. Build its foundation by first developing a camaraderie with a guy through shared efforts that reveal our nature.
