Rejoice with me, friends! (Breakthrough with my mom.)

[Amélie Unbound]

So, my husband has been asked to preach a sermon at church. Knowing my mom would be pleased, I called and told her. She got really excited and said she was so proud of my husband, and so proud of me for picking a good Christian man who the pastor thinks is on-base enough to preach a sermon at his church, that this is better than giving her a grandchild. Lots of her friends have grandchildren, but none of them have a son-in-law who has ever preached in church before.

While on the one hand, it kind of sucks that she puts us in the position of feeling that we have to win her approval with the things we do, at least she's finally acknowledging that having grandchildren is not the most important thing in the world. This is a first. I'm actually considering it a bit of a breakthrough in my relationship with her. She has said other things lately too that seem to suggest that she's finally coming to terms with our childfreedom. What a relief.

 

[invisiblebabe]

That's great! It seems she is starting to grow as a person. I'm happy for you!

 

[Rebekka]

Your post made me laugh, Orchard, because it seems so odd to compare the two (parenthood and preaching) and weigh them. But I'm very happy for you that your mum is starting to accept your choice!

And hurray for your husband!

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Your post made me laugh, Orchard, because it seems so odd to compare the two (parenthood and preaching) and weigh them. But I'm very happy for you that your mum is starting to accept your choice!

And hurray for your husband!

Thanks, Rebekka!

Yeah, I agree it's weird to compare the two, but I think it reveals her true motive behind her desire for grandchildren. She wants something to be proud of. Something to brag about to her friends. It's a bit sick, really, to want new human beings to be brought into the world just so you can feel superior, or perhaps just equal to, your friends. But, I guess that is a motivating factor for some people.

 

[bluebug83]

First, yay about your mom starting to accept your childfreedom, and congrats to your husband for getting to preach a sermon!

Although yes, I think it is odd that she considers it "better" than grandkids because nobody should think one accomplishment is "better" or "more honorable" than another. I think you hit the nail on the head with this:

Thanks, Rebekka!

Yeah, I agree it's weird to compare the two, but I think it reveals her true motive behind her desire for grandchildren. She wants something to be proud of. Something to brag about to her friends. It's a bit sick, really, to want new human beings to be brought into the world just so you can feel superior, or perhaps just equal to, your friends. But, I guess that is a motivating factor for some people.

 

[snoochface]

I'm so glad for the breakthrough, Orchard!

 

[Rebekka]

Thanks, Rebekka!

Yeah, I agree it's weird to compare the two, but I think it reveals her true motive behind her desire for grandchildren. She wants something to be proud of. Something to brag about to her friends. It's a bit sick, really, to want new human beings to be brought into the world just so you can feel superior, or perhaps just equal to, your friends. But, I guess that is a motivating factor for some people.

Yes, I recognize the need to brag about your children. I love my parents dearly, but sadly they brag about their children too, and are upset when they can't brag (for example they were ashamed of me not having a master's degree yet, while other people's children had theirs much earlier - well, they all had different lives, and people shouldn't compare themselves to others constantly ), and grandchildren are the most common thing to brag about when you're over 50 I think.

It really makes me sick, the whole competition thing.


Thank goodness my parents accept our childfreedom - but I don't know what they tell others who ask them if I have given them grandchildren yet (if they ask - I don't know).

 

[cherryblossom03]

Glad your mom is finally accepting y'all's decision!

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Thanks everyone!!

You will not believe what my mom has said now! Invisiblebabe, you're totally right, I think she is starting to grow!

She said, "You know, I was thinking... In a lot of ways, you have a similar personality to my friend Marg. And Marg and her husband don't have kids, and when I first met her, she explained to me why not. She explained that she doesn't have a maternal instinct, and she doesn't think she's cut out for motherhood, and she doesn't think she'd be a good mother. She thinks she's cut out for other things in life, and she's pursuing those things. I remember thinking how wise she was to recognize that about herself ahead of time. I have never had one negative thought about Marg not having children. She's a good woman, and a good friend, and I've always admired her for the way she lives her life. And it just hit me, I have been upset you for making the same decision that I have always admired Marg for. I need to think more about this. I think I might owe you an apology."



I don't know who this woman is or what she's done with my mother.


EDITED TO ADD: Of course, you'll notice she didn't actually apologize. Baby steps. lol

 

[snoochface]

Thanks everyone!!

You will not believe what my mom has said now! Invisiblebabe, you're totally right, I think she is starting to grow!

She said, "You know, I was thinking... In a lot of ways, you have a similar personality to my friend Marg. And Marg and her husband don't have kids, and when I first met her, she explained to me why not. She explained that she doesn't have a maternal instinct, and she doesn't think she's cut out for motherhood, and she doesn't think she'd be a good mother. She thinks she's cut out for other things in life, and she's pursuing those things. I remember thinking how wise she was to recognize that about herself ahead of time. I have never had one negative thought about Marg not having children. She's a good woman, and a good friend, and I've always admired her for the way she lives her life. And it just hit me, I have been upset you for making the same decision that I have always admired Marg for. I need to think more about this. I think I might owe you an apology."



I don't know who this woman is or what she's done with my mother.


EDITED TO ADD: Of course, you'll notice she didn't actually apologize. Baby steps. lol

WOW!!! Those are at least toddler steps for your mom!!

And you're still standing upright?

 

[Amélie Unbound]

WOW!!! Those are at least toddler steps for your mom!!

And you're still standing upright?

lol Barely.

Seriously, you have no idea, this is SO out of character for her. Something is happening with her. God is doing something, I think.

 

[mina]

That's great!

 

[Rebekka]

That's wonderful, Orchard!!!

 

[Rembrandtfan]

Thanks everyone!!

You will not believe what my mom has said now! Invisiblebabe, you're totally right, I think she is starting to grow!

She said, "You know, I was thinking... In a lot of ways, you have a similar personality to my friend Marg. And Marg and her husband don't have kids, and when I first met her, she explained to me why not. She explained that she doesn't have a maternal instinct, and she doesn't think she's cut out for motherhood, and she doesn't think she'd be a good mother. She thinks she's cut out for other things in life, and she's pursuing those things. I remember thinking how wise she was to recognize that about herself ahead of time. I have never had one negative thought about Marg not having children. She's a good woman, and a good friend, and I've always admired her for the way she lives her life. And it just hit me, I have been upset you for making the same decision that I have always admired Marg for. I need to think more about this. I think I might owe you an apology."



I don't know who this woman is or what she's done with my mother.


EDITED TO ADD: Of course, you'll notice she didn't actually apologize. Baby steps. lol

Sometimes it's hard to actually say "I apologize" when we know we are really wrong and we are ashamed, it's just so awkward. But I hope she does, for your sake. It will help you both to connect. Sounds like she has come a long way and that is awesome.

Congratulations to you and your husband for his opportunity to preach.

 

[Epoh99]

She said, "You know, I was thinking... In a lot of ways, you have a similar personality to my friend Marg. And Marg and her husband don't have kids, and when I first met her, she explained to me why not. She explained that she doesn't have a maternal instinct, and she doesn't think she's cut out for motherhood, and she doesn't think she'd be a good mother. She thinks she's cut out for other things in life, and she's pursuing those things. I remember thinking how wise she was to recognize that about herself ahead of time. I have never had one negative thought about Marg not having children. She's a good woman, and a good friend, and I've always admired her for the way she lives her life. And it just hit me, I have been upset you for making the same decision that I have always admired Marg for. I need to think more about this. I think I might owe you an apology."



I don't know who this woman is or what she's done with my mother.


EDITED TO ADD: Of course, you'll notice she didn't actually apologize. Baby steps. lol

Wow, Orchard! It's so neat to see God work. God's timing is best and who knows what He has for the future. Thanks for sharing with all of us.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Just to update you all, my mom has really come around in the past few months, and seems to have truly accepted our childfreedom. It's been months since she's made any negative comments. She even mentioned the other day that whenever she hears about school violence on the news, she feels thankful that she doesn't have grandchildren, because she'd be worried sick about them every day if she did. She said with the state the world is in today, it's almost cruel to bring a child into the world. She said, "I think you two actually have the right idea."

God has truly done a work in her. It's quite amazing; I can barely believe it.

Now, if only we could see some progress with MIL!

 

[Rebekka]

Just to update you all, my mom has really come around in the past few months, and seems to have truly accepted our childfreedom. It's been months since she's made any negative comments. She even mentioned the other day that whenever she hears about school violence on the news, she feels thankful that she doesn't have grandchildren, because she'd be worried sick about them every day if she did. She said with the state the world is in today, it's almost cruel to bring a child into the world. She said, "I think you two actually have the right idea."

God has truly done a work in her. It's quite amazing; I can barely believe it.

Now, if only we could see some progress with MIL!

Wow, that's amazing!

And I love your new name, although it will take me a while to get used to it!

(the map in your character's hand is so cool! In what section can you buy it?)

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Thanks Rebekka!

I think the map was in the Library category.