- Feb 3, 2019
- 1
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- 27
- Country
- South Africa
- Faith
- Christian Seeker
- Marital Status
- Single
Hi guys, I'm a 22 year old male. My name is Joha. The following is a short summary of my thoughts during the church service on Sunday morning. Please can you offer some solutions to me? :
Why do I go to church?
I go to church because I have responsibilities.
I go to church to protect my reputation.
Those are not the right reasons.
Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite.
Am I a true worshiper of God at church?
Not at all.
I go because I grew up going.
I go out of habit.
My parents are very committed to Christ.
That makes it difficult to not go to church.
It's something we as a family have done for the past 13 years. We go to church Sunday morning and Sunday evening. Twice every Sunday! As youngsters we never really had a choice. We had to go wherever our parents went. Nowadays it feels like I can't just decide that I'm not going to church, I will hurt people with such a decision. Mostly my parents. But damn. I'm 22.
I once walked out of church during evening service, it felt like my spirit was at war whilst sitting there. I was constantly arguing in my head as to why I was really there. I saw no reason. I couldn't sit there pretending any longer. I felt completely out of place. I got up and walked home. Why would I do such a thing?
Because I'm not a believer.
It's never clear to me. Why would I keep going to church?!
I don't grow in faith although I've heard the clear word of God for the past 13 years! Twice on most Sundays!
I never serve God. I'm lost. I choose not to follow God. I don't pray. I don't attend Bible studies, and never have! Once again. Why and what am I doing at church beside pretending.
The only benefit is gaining a good reputation.
When will I change. When will I truly serve God?
I need a break. I need to get away. I need to understand myself. I need to see clearly. My spirit is drifting in the wind. This way, that way, never in The right Way.
Why do I go to church?
I go to church because I have responsibilities.
I go to church to protect my reputation.
Those are not the right reasons.
Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite.
Am I a true worshiper of God at church?
Not at all.
I go because I grew up going.
I go out of habit.
My parents are very committed to Christ.
That makes it difficult to not go to church.
It's something we as a family have done for the past 13 years. We go to church Sunday morning and Sunday evening. Twice every Sunday! As youngsters we never really had a choice. We had to go wherever our parents went. Nowadays it feels like I can't just decide that I'm not going to church, I will hurt people with such a decision. Mostly my parents. But damn. I'm 22.
I once walked out of church during evening service, it felt like my spirit was at war whilst sitting there. I was constantly arguing in my head as to why I was really there. I saw no reason. I couldn't sit there pretending any longer. I felt completely out of place. I got up and walked home. Why would I do such a thing?
Because I'm not a believer.
It's never clear to me. Why would I keep going to church?!
I don't grow in faith although I've heard the clear word of God for the past 13 years! Twice on most Sundays!
I never serve God. I'm lost. I choose not to follow God. I don't pray. I don't attend Bible studies, and never have! Once again. Why and what am I doing at church beside pretending.
The only benefit is gaining a good reputation.
When will I change. When will I truly serve God?
I need a break. I need to get away. I need to understand myself. I need to see clearly. My spirit is drifting in the wind. This way, that way, never in The right Way.