- Nov 11, 2003
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- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
This is my first time writing a story, please dont go too hard on me 
Into the midnight moon a bent figure sat quietly on her old wooden porch. The constant chirp of the crickets supplied the only sounds in the almost silent street. Her maple eyes squinted as she blankly looked to the vast array of pale stars. She sit alone with nothing but the company of her old dull blade. A tear slide down her cold cheek as she felt her burden of painful thought. . All the dark insults, the will to look better, to be something other then herself. She ached over and over while tormented in every reconcieved memory.
Within my ruins I seek a higher place,
with an old familiar face,
without the transgression of what I feel of me,
a life calm as if carried by the sea.
She turned a bit to look at the kitchen light, barely being able to stare through the slits of the darkened blinds. Her mind contemplated her actions of the past while she slipped through the door to check on the time. When she crept into the light, the scarlet strips on her ghostly skin unveiled themselves. A tiny regret loomed in her heart, but a bitter voice pulled at her. One of old that conflicted within her troubled soul..Some being that shook her..
Lucifer: No regrets. Remember, you brought this onto yourself. There is no such as to regret or second guess this. You have sinned many times that now only your disappointments are inevitable. There are here, always present. Your no success to HIM nor able to accomplish anything HE sends to you. The real question is: Why does HE bother with you when you know upset is indeed to paths end trail. So much pressure put on you by him...Dont you wonder why? A REAL so called loving all powerful God would never let this happen...The obvious pain you feel is not a test...not a test to see your puny faith growth but mere pleasure for HIM as he is able to do all. Once you rid yourself off this mortal earth, you will no longer be a burden to carry. So dont ever forget..For I will never let you...
Her mind of regret slowly died off as she look at the microwave clock. Two-Thirty three.
She had not realized how long her parched hungry body had been sitting on the old wooden porch. Also a victim of starving herself, an act gone too far, as it was originally purposed as her mandatory punishment and diet plan. But she pay no attention to her heavy craving that longed for food to nourish herself. A body once slight of plump was now reduced to a rail thin figure.
She walk back to the old porch, alert to the still chirping birds that lurk and rustled in night blackened trees. Normally a person would be deep in slumbers dreams yet this young lady sit anxious in her heart with the plans she made before her. Pale fingers and other limbs shook as the weather adjusted down with a momentary breeze. Her light jacket do no good to her little body and she gasped as the wind barely hit her..She curled up in a ball and felt the tiny lines of cuts on her legs and it reminded her of the times when her mother would ask where the cuts came from and she would reply with the same as before, her cat. She hated to lie to her, but it was worth saving her the tears and hurt...She hated to hurt her dear mother.
Her father, a different story, never could bother with her, never asked if she wanted to do anything. If only I were born a male, then he would pay attention to me.Maybe that was true...He was your typical man, always working on cars and such....Being a boy would of been better off..She could then help him.....But alas...She was born female and not so interested in working on cars and those things...Her mother said he was such a selfish person. Whether or not this was true, she always would place the blame on herself. Maybe she was too lazy? She did have a job and was going to school like he asked yet he still didnt seem satisfied with it. Or was he just not happy with her as being his child? Was it the fact she is Christian and he didnt sustain any beliefs????She longed for him to come to Christ but he was just so stubborn .She just didnt know how to share the news with him. A brief memory played in her mind. Dad, what do you believe about God?............What kind of God would let people suffer so much? More tears rushed down her cheek as the memory brought further pain.
Would he miss her?
NO! This mission wasnt caused from her fathers lack of interest...Something deeper haunted within...She could never figure it out. Most ideas that came to her was that she really wanted to come home..Where she knew she belonged. She did not want to wait for her as she was so young and old age was far nor it seemed to her the rapture would come anytime soon. She had someone that loved her. But as much as he wanted to marry her one day was over rode by the sorrows. Same as she knew her God had to a plan for her but she just couldnt see it happening. A typical girl of no self esteem, she felt as if there was no way she would be meant to used. Many people knew of her talents but she saw her works as nothing but junk.
Her mind dwelled a bit and she noticed the sky was lightening a bit. Something of a morning twilight or thick shards slowly scrolling back to eternity The stars were one by one leaving to be replaced by time and light. Time was fading, slowly drawing out to her plans.
Almost time.
Almost there.
No.
A soft voice beckoned and her stomach jumped. God was calling her not to. He loved her. Still even as she knew it, she ignored the tiny voice and tried to concentrate on the coming time. It was not easy but little by little she managed to shut it out. Would she go to heaven after her plan? She had received Christ into her life long ago. Surely this was a forgivable sin?
It is almost time.
She weakened a bit by the deafening voice that called to her. She hated it but gave in so many times. He was the enemy, but at this time with blinded by distress, she could not tell if it was her or him doing the thinking. She stared at the sky once again. It was lighter, so light that sunrise was only too close .She sighed with the knowledge that she really would miss everything.
Her home, her love...her friends, the cat she had since she was nine years old, the ocean waves that her she loved since her time of being a baby..So many memories..
She looked at her knife.
Now.
The sun was coming up looking like a gold dipped half moon. It peaked out a bit and color was starting to come for the morning rise. A couple more minutes passed by and a speck of red hit the horizon. Soon after, the red was filling the sky as if raspberries exploded.
There lay a girl on her porch with her own red. Her wrist drew a deep river down to her arm. A void replaced the pupil in her once hazel eyes. No soul now lay in the still body of the young girl.
Where she passed on to, only the weeping lord would know.
Into the midnight moon a bent figure sat quietly on her old wooden porch. The constant chirp of the crickets supplied the only sounds in the almost silent street. Her maple eyes squinted as she blankly looked to the vast array of pale stars. She sit alone with nothing but the company of her old dull blade. A tear slide down her cold cheek as she felt her burden of painful thought. . All the dark insults, the will to look better, to be something other then herself. She ached over and over while tormented in every reconcieved memory.
Within my ruins I seek a higher place,
with an old familiar face,
without the transgression of what I feel of me,
a life calm as if carried by the sea.
She turned a bit to look at the kitchen light, barely being able to stare through the slits of the darkened blinds. Her mind contemplated her actions of the past while she slipped through the door to check on the time. When she crept into the light, the scarlet strips on her ghostly skin unveiled themselves. A tiny regret loomed in her heart, but a bitter voice pulled at her. One of old that conflicted within her troubled soul..Some being that shook her..
Lucifer: No regrets. Remember, you brought this onto yourself. There is no such as to regret or second guess this. You have sinned many times that now only your disappointments are inevitable. There are here, always present. Your no success to HIM nor able to accomplish anything HE sends to you. The real question is: Why does HE bother with you when you know upset is indeed to paths end trail. So much pressure put on you by him...Dont you wonder why? A REAL so called loving all powerful God would never let this happen...The obvious pain you feel is not a test...not a test to see your puny faith growth but mere pleasure for HIM as he is able to do all. Once you rid yourself off this mortal earth, you will no longer be a burden to carry. So dont ever forget..For I will never let you...
Her mind of regret slowly died off as she look at the microwave clock. Two-Thirty three.
She had not realized how long her parched hungry body had been sitting on the old wooden porch. Also a victim of starving herself, an act gone too far, as it was originally purposed as her mandatory punishment and diet plan. But she pay no attention to her heavy craving that longed for food to nourish herself. A body once slight of plump was now reduced to a rail thin figure.
She walk back to the old porch, alert to the still chirping birds that lurk and rustled in night blackened trees. Normally a person would be deep in slumbers dreams yet this young lady sit anxious in her heart with the plans she made before her. Pale fingers and other limbs shook as the weather adjusted down with a momentary breeze. Her light jacket do no good to her little body and she gasped as the wind barely hit her..She curled up in a ball and felt the tiny lines of cuts on her legs and it reminded her of the times when her mother would ask where the cuts came from and she would reply with the same as before, her cat. She hated to lie to her, but it was worth saving her the tears and hurt...She hated to hurt her dear mother.
Her father, a different story, never could bother with her, never asked if she wanted to do anything. If only I were born a male, then he would pay attention to me.Maybe that was true...He was your typical man, always working on cars and such....Being a boy would of been better off..She could then help him.....But alas...She was born female and not so interested in working on cars and those things...Her mother said he was such a selfish person. Whether or not this was true, she always would place the blame on herself. Maybe she was too lazy? She did have a job and was going to school like he asked yet he still didnt seem satisfied with it. Or was he just not happy with her as being his child? Was it the fact she is Christian and he didnt sustain any beliefs????She longed for him to come to Christ but he was just so stubborn .She just didnt know how to share the news with him. A brief memory played in her mind. Dad, what do you believe about God?............What kind of God would let people suffer so much? More tears rushed down her cheek as the memory brought further pain.
Would he miss her?
NO! This mission wasnt caused from her fathers lack of interest...Something deeper haunted within...She could never figure it out. Most ideas that came to her was that she really wanted to come home..Where she knew she belonged. She did not want to wait for her as she was so young and old age was far nor it seemed to her the rapture would come anytime soon. She had someone that loved her. But as much as he wanted to marry her one day was over rode by the sorrows. Same as she knew her God had to a plan for her but she just couldnt see it happening. A typical girl of no self esteem, she felt as if there was no way she would be meant to used. Many people knew of her talents but she saw her works as nothing but junk.
Her mind dwelled a bit and she noticed the sky was lightening a bit. Something of a morning twilight or thick shards slowly scrolling back to eternity The stars were one by one leaving to be replaced by time and light. Time was fading, slowly drawing out to her plans.
Almost time.
Almost there.
No.
A soft voice beckoned and her stomach jumped. God was calling her not to. He loved her. Still even as she knew it, she ignored the tiny voice and tried to concentrate on the coming time. It was not easy but little by little she managed to shut it out. Would she go to heaven after her plan? She had received Christ into her life long ago. Surely this was a forgivable sin?
It is almost time.
She weakened a bit by the deafening voice that called to her. She hated it but gave in so many times. He was the enemy, but at this time with blinded by distress, she could not tell if it was her or him doing the thinking. She stared at the sky once again. It was lighter, so light that sunrise was only too close .She sighed with the knowledge that she really would miss everything.
Her home, her love...her friends, the cat she had since she was nine years old, the ocean waves that her she loved since her time of being a baby..So many memories..
She looked at her knife.
Now.
The sun was coming up looking like a gold dipped half moon. It peaked out a bit and color was starting to come for the morning rise. A couple more minutes passed by and a speck of red hit the horizon. Soon after, the red was filling the sky as if raspberries exploded.
There lay a girl on her porch with her own red. Her wrist drew a deep river down to her arm. A void replaced the pupil in her once hazel eyes. No soul now lay in the still body of the young girl.
Where she passed on to, only the weeping lord would know.
