Reconnecting with old friend... but he is a ''homosexual Christian''

[Zoii]

Sounds like hes been consistent, positive and a good friend...while you....are you?

 

[Paul of Eugene OR]

From age 18-22 I was very involved in the 12-step groups Alcohol Annonymous and Narcotics Annonymous... I had not yet found God and I was a drug user back then and was trying to get sober. Anyway, I made lots of friends in these meetings and eventually met my sponsor who happened to be homosexual, but that didn't bother me, he had like 5 years sober and was helping me get sober, work the 12 steps, encouraged me, and helped me get on my feet... he even let me live with him when I was homeless living on the streets. He had a really good heart and he really loved my family and my family really liked him because they knew he was a good person that was trying to help me... he even used to listen to gospel music in front of me and I would laugh at him for it, thinking he was so weird for listening to Christian music

So he was my sponsor for like 4 years and he was like my best friend. But when I was 23 I found God and he was happy about that because he was a Christian too, but I made it clear to him that I thought homosexuality was a sin... and that really, really bothered him because he didn't want to give up homosexuality and he knew I was serious. He even went to a church in a gay area where they all loved God and praised God, but they were FIRM that homosexuality was NOT a sin and that they were fine to be homosexual.... and I didn't agree with that, but I wasn't rude about it, I only mentioned it to a few people respectfully. I even went with him to this church a few times just to check it out, and it wasn't all homosexuals but the majority were.

So fast-forward to today, 5ish years later. I stopped hanging out with him shortly after I found God and started pursuing my new Christian path without him. I haven't seen him in like 3 years now and I just started a facebook account where I have only Christian friends... he is the only person I have friend requested that I have ''question'' about whether he is a Christian or not and as soon as he accepted my friend request, a VERY uneasy feeling came into my spirit... my peace and joy immediately left and was replaced with fear and anxiety. Now I regret friend requesting him and I don't want to hurt his feelings by un-friending him. I don't know what to do. He always had a ''guilty conscience'' for his homosexuality around me towards the end and that fear and discomfort from him seems to rub off on me, and now i feel like i just opened up a very bad ''connection.''

I looked up to him for 4 years and he helped me with so much... we had a really good friendship but he was so wrapped up in homosexuality that I would be very surprised if he has come out of that lifestyle. He was living with his ''boyfriend'' last time i saw him. I know he has struggled with so much in his life and I still care about him as a friend but I feel like right now, as my soul and heart are healing through Christ, i don't need to be talking to someone that endorses sin like that... i am no longer a drug-user, i am focused only on God to heal my heart and my soul now.

What would you guys do? I feel really bad, his facebook page says ''I am loved by the Father'' on his title but based on his pictures, it looks like he is going to gay pride festivals and stuff like that... I don't know why i lost my peace and joy like that, it is really disturbing me. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Look, if you want to be like Jesus, you need to be friends with sinners, like Jesus was.

And its not as if you had any other choices for your friends. We are all sinners.

 

[RaymondG]

Sounds like hes been consistent, positive and a good friend...while you....are you?

He took all the help he could get until he didnt need him anymore....then dropped him like a baby who sticks their feet in your neck after lifting them up in the air.

The worse part is people say this is God given discernment. The spirit of God told him to do it!

 

[WilliamBo]

Oh wow, lots of responses. I will try to respond to everyone in a bit, please do not be offended if I don't get to you

 

[AlexDTX]

I have been thinking this over some more and have mixed feelings on the topic. On the one hand you want to show a genuine concern and keep a friendship with him so the love of Christ would be a reality in your friendship. On the other hand we are told that bad company corrupts good morals. When the Corinthian had an affair with the step mother, Paul told them to separate themselves from him so he would repent. Once he repented he was to be treated as a brother.

Jesus was sinless. His ability to be friends with sinners was different than ours since his ability to be tempted was less than ours. Many of us come from broken lives whether through divorce, being bullied, or abused by members of the family. We do not have the same strength as Jesus in our selves, even though Jesus offers us his strength, we have to accept it and lean upon it. I shared in a previous comment that the former president of Exodus International fell back into homosexuality himself and recanted his position to homosexuals are born that way. No doubt your friend believes God made him that way. Yet anyone who clearly reads the Scriptures and knows the heart of God knows that is not so.

At this point, all I can do is pray for the both of you.

 

[Halbhh]

That was the exact argument they had at this gay church- that the word for ''homosexual'' in the Bible actually meant ''rape,'' and that the original greek/Hebrew text didn't actually have a word for homosexual and that Jesus was silent on homosexuality. I really gave this church, my friend, and gay people i met at this church the benefit of the doubt BIG TIME, even sticking up for them against Christian friends I had that said they were completely wrong because I WANTED them to be right, i actually liked the people there, lesbians and all, many of the were good people. But I believe the Lord has revealed to me that declaring to be homosexual is wrong and perverted just like any other sin.

Not to get caught up in that local issue of wording there in that place, but the wording in the text when I looked at multiple translations is both "to lie with a man as with a woman" and also the word "sodomite" meaning a person actively doing that intercourse sodomy, and additionally as in 1 Cor 6 also that women can do this with men also, even married straight couples, and it's wrong for all people of any grouping, but not more wrong than other sins.... (Also notice that this is precisely one and only one specific act, and not other things...not relationships, not kissing, not even other intimate acts, when a person wants to actually pay attention to the actual text (and not a politicized paraphrase that adds meanings not in the source)).

But if we exclude people that have done any kind of sin in the last month from church, it will be pretty empty, we think here, because we have learned that even to fail to love one of our neighbors (people we encounter) is a 'sin of omission', also, so there is a lot of sin.

So, because of this, a church is somewhat like a hospital. (I noticed the pope also said that. good on him)

So, at our church we specifically welcome sinners, and even have the wording that "we are all sinners", even.

 

[tryintogrow]

Hospitals don't let contagious patients walk around playing doctor on each other.

 

[tryintogrow]

He took all the help he could get until he didnt need him anymore....then dropped him like a baby who sticks their feet in your neck after lifting them up in the air.

The worse part is people say this is God given discernment. The spirit of God told him to do it!

Please, tell us more about how you don't believe in judging people...

 

[Halbhh]

Hospitals don't let contagious patients walk around playing doctor on each other.

That's right. If a patient comes into our hospital here, our church, they will indeed be able to be seen by the Doctor, if they come to Him.

 

[salt-n-light]

Look, if you want to be like Jesus, you need to be friends with sinners, like Jesus was.

And it's not as if you had any other choices for your friends. We are all sinners.

Jesus was friends with the outcast to bring them to God.He spoke about the blessings and the judgments. Some of them believed some of them didn't. He hung with God's chosen people to reveal that the Messiah has come.He spoke about the blessings and the judgments.Some of them believed some of them didn't. He spoke to each set differently, so that no matter the audience, they will believe in God's salvation and fear the judgment of God if they reject.Some believed him, some didn't.The people that got it were his true friends, the people that didn't crucify Him.

In point, Jesus wasn't there to cater to their lifestyle. If he's gonna keep him around, and be a friend, lol prepare to have a friend like Jesus.

 

[RaymondG]

Please, tell us more about how you don't believe in judging people...

You are good at pointing out sin and causing division. To judge, in my book, is to call something good or bad, right or wrong. Stating what i see is not judgement or right/wrong. And no one will see things exactly alike...even if they are looking at the same tree, we could be at different angles and therefore see different pictures.....both true to the one looking.

I see nothing wrong with the actions of the OP. I wouldnt do it, simply because I wouldnt want someone doing it to me. But you are free to call others wicked and enforce separation from them base on whether or not you think they are sinning. But also be understanding when these same actions and treatments come back around to you.

 

[tryintogrow]

I am truly amazed that you can compare someone to an ungrateful baby while you say with a straight face that you're not judging him.

I think it's best that we part ways.

 

[disciple1]

From age 18-22 I was very involved in the 12-step groups Alcohol Annonymous and Narcotics Annonymous... I had not yet found God and I was a drug user back then and was trying to get sober. Anyway, I made lots of friends in these meetings and eventually met my sponsor who happened to be homosexual, but that didn't bother me, he had like 5 years sober and was helping me get sober, work the 12 steps, encouraged me, and helped me get on my feet... he even let me live with him when I was homeless living on the streets. He had a really good heart and he really loved my family and my family really liked him because they knew he was a good person that was trying to help me... he even used to listen to gospel music in front of me and I would laugh at him for it, thinking he was so weird for listening to Christian music

So he was my sponsor for like 4 years and he was like my best friend. But when I was 23 I found God and he was happy about that because he was a Christian too, but I made it clear to him that I thought homosexuality was a sin... and that really, really bothered him because he didn't want to give up homosexuality and he knew I was serious. He even went to a church in a gay area where they all loved God and praised God, but they were FIRM that homosexuality was NOT a sin and that they were fine to be homosexual.... and I didn't agree with that, but I wasn't rude about it, I only mentioned it to a few people respectfully. I even went with him to this church a few times just to check it out, and it wasn't all homosexuals but the majority were.

So fast-forward to today, 5ish years later. I stopped hanging out with him shortly after I found God and started pursuing my new Christian path without him. I haven't seen him in like 3 years now and I just started a facebook account where I have only Christian friends... he is the only person I have friend requested that I have ''question'' about whether he is a Christian or not and as soon as he accepted my friend request, a VERY uneasy feeling came into my spirit... my peace and joy immediately left and was replaced with fear and anxiety. Now I regret friend requesting him and I don't want to hurt his feelings by un-friending him. I don't know what to do. He always had a ''guilty conscience'' for his homosexuality around me towards the end and that fear and discomfort from him seems to rub off on me, and now i feel like i just opened up a very bad ''connection.''

I looked up to him for 4 years and he helped me with so much... we had a really good friendship but he was so wrapped up in homosexuality that I would be very surprised if he has come out of that lifestyle. He was living with his ''boyfriend'' last time i saw him. I know he has struggled with so much in his life and I still care about him as a friend but I feel like right now, as my soul and heart are healing through Christ, i don't need to be talking to someone that endorses sin like that... i am no longer a drug-user, i am focused only on God to heal my heart and my soul now.

What would you guys do? I feel really bad, his facebook page says ''I am loved by the Father'' on his title but based on his pictures, it looks like he is going to gay pride festivals and stuff like that... I don't know why i lost my peace and joy like that, it is really disturbing me. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

You sin, why judge, it seems to me your paying back his good with evil, there's a lot of gay people in AA.
1 Peter chapter 4 verse 8

Love covers a great many sins.

 

[RaymondG]

I am truly amazed that you can compare someone to an ungrateful baby while you say with a straight face that you're not judging him.

I think it's best that we part ways.

You have so good points (not about the baby....dont know where that came from) about the judging. I will examine myself and make sure im remaining in the faith. Please carry on with the other posters.

 

[LoricaLady]

From age 18-22 I was very involved in the 12-step groups Alcohol Annonymous and Narcotics Annonymous... I had not yet found God and I was a drug user back then and was trying to get sober. Anyway, I made lots of friends in these meetings and eventually met my sponsor who happened to be homosexual, but that didn't bother me, he had like 5 years sober and was helping me get sober, work the 12 steps, encouraged me, and helped me get on my feet... he even let me live with him when I was homeless living on the streets. He had a really good heart and he really loved my family and my family really liked him because they knew he was a good person that was trying to help me... he even used to listen to gospel music in front of me and I would laugh at him for it, thinking he was so weird for listening to Christian music

So he was my sponsor for like 4 years and he was like my best friend. But when I was 23 I found God and he was happy about that because he was a Christian too, but I made it clear to him that I thought homosexuality was a sin... and that really, really bothered him because he didn't want to give up homosexuality and he knew I was serious. He even went to a church in a gay area where they all loved God and praised God, but they were FIRM that homosexuality was NOT a sin and that they were fine to be homosexual.... and I didn't agree with that, but I wasn't rude about it, I only mentioned it to a few people respectfully. I even went with him to this church a few times just to check it out, and it wasn't all homosexuals but the majority were.

So fast-forward to today, 5ish years later. I stopped hanging out with him shortly after I found God and started pursuing my new Christian path without him. I haven't seen him in like 3 years now and I just started a facebook account where I have only Christian friends... he is the only person I have friend requested that I have ''question'' about whether he is a Christian or not and as soon as he accepted my friend request, a VERY uneasy feeling came into my spirit... my peace and joy immediately left and was replaced with fear and anxiety. Now I regret friend requesting him and I don't want to hurt his feelings by un-friending him. I don't know what to do. He always had a ''guilty conscience'' for his homosexuality around me towards the end and that fear and discomfort from him seems to rub off on me, and now i feel like i just opened up a very bad ''connection.''

I looked up to him for 4 years and he helped me with so much... we had a really good friendship but he was so wrapped up in homosexuality that I would be very surprised if he has come out of that lifestyle. He was living with his ''boyfriend'' last time i saw him. I know he has struggled with so much in his life and I still care about him as a friend but I feel like right now, as my soul and heart are healing through Christ, i don't need to be talking to someone that endorses sin like that... i am no longer a drug-user, i am focused only on God to heal my heart and my soul now.

What would you guys do? I feel really bad, his facebook page says ''I am loved by the Father'' on his title but based on his pictures, it looks like he is going to gay pride festivals and stuff like that... I don't know why i lost my peace and joy like that, it is really disturbing me. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

I think it is just fine to be friends with someone who is gay - after all we are
all generally so imperfect ourselves. Now I would say it's not a good idea, though, if one has a temptation in that area, but apparently you do not at all. You have expressed your feelings about his life style in terms of the Bible and apparently did so in a kind and not offensive way, so you have done your best and I think need to do no more.

However....it is very concerning that in this case the Holy Spirit is apparently sending out warning vibes, so to speak. He knows what we cannot know. Something is wrong there. Who knows, it may not even have to do with the fact that the guy is gay. There may be some other serious concern that you are clueless about. I would listen to the Holy Spirit and be nice to this person, but over time respond less and less to him until there is no contact. The Holy Spirit is always right!

 

[Joy]

Yea, I definitely DON'T want to make him feel even worse. I feel I am not strong enough to be able to minister to him in love and truth yet but i WANT to... it was the opposite for a long time with HIM ministering to ME, so it's a strange situation, especially with him being 15 years older than me. I know he is convicted, especially after a super close friend of his becomes a Christian and plainly lets him know he doesn't accept homosexuality. I don't want to argue with him, I'm just going to unfriend him for now and see if i can help him in the future when I am stronger spiritually

I believe you have done the right thing at this time. You are wise not to enter what could be challenging situation when you are not spiritually strong. I pray the Lord will strengthen you at this time and give you His peace about this situation.

 

[sethrak]

Haven't read the thread, you've said this fellow helped you stop boozing your live away~ Have you been able to reciprocate by pointing the way, away from filthy sin to a Christian life. Sounded like you think or thought of him as a Christian, I got that impression, you called him one~but```does he dress like a~or a man~does he look up to Christ`know what Christ Loves or hates~have you had influence on this person~or is he a confirmed homosexual ```

 

[Jim Langston]

From age 18-22 I was very involved in the 12-step groups Alcohol Annonymous and Narcotics Annonymous... I had not yet found God and I was a drug user back then and was trying to get sober. Anyway, I made lots of friends in these meetings and eventually met my sponsor who happened to be homosexual, but that didn't bother me, he had like 5 years sober and was helping me get sober, work the 12 steps, encouraged me, and helped me get on my feet... he even let me live with him when I was homeless living on the streets. He had a really good heart and he really loved my family and my family really liked him because they knew he was a good person that was trying to help me... he even used to listen to gospel music in front of me and I would laugh at him for it, thinking he was so weird for listening to Christian music

So he was my sponsor for like 4 years and he was like my best friend. But when I was 23 I found God and he was happy about that because he was a Christian too, but I made it clear to him that I thought homosexuality was a sin... and that really, really bothered him because he didn't want to give up homosexuality and he knew I was serious. He even went to a church in a gay area where they all loved God and praised God, but they were FIRM that homosexuality was NOT a sin and that they were fine to be homosexual.... and I didn't agree with that, but I wasn't rude about it, I only mentioned it to a few people respectfully. I even went with him to this church a few times just to check it out, and it wasn't all homosexuals but the majority were.

So fast-forward to today, 5ish years later. I stopped hanging out with him shortly after I found God and started pursuing my new Christian path without him. I haven't seen him in like 3 years now and I just started a facebook account where I have only Christian friends... he is the only person I have friend requested that I have ''question'' about whether he is a Christian or not and as soon as he accepted my friend request, a VERY uneasy feeling came into my spirit... my peace and joy immediately left and was replaced with fear and anxiety. Now I regret friend requesting him and I don't want to hurt his feelings by un-friending him. I don't know what to do. He always had a ''guilty conscience'' for his homosexuality around me towards the end and that fear and discomfort from him seems to rub off on me, and now i feel like i just opened up a very bad ''connection.''

I looked up to him for 4 years and he helped me with so much... we had a really good friendship but he was so wrapped up in homosexuality that I would be very surprised if he has come out of that lifestyle. He was living with his ''boyfriend'' last time i saw him. I know he has struggled with so much in his life and I still care about him as a friend but I feel like right now, as my soul and heart are healing through Christ, i don't need to be talking to someone that endorses sin like that... i am no longer a drug-user, i am focused only on God to heal my heart and my soul now.

What would you guys do? I feel really bad, his facebook page says ''I am loved by the Father'' on his title but based on his pictures, it looks like he is going to gay pride festivals and stuff like that... I don't know why i lost my peace and joy like that, it is really disturbing me. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

A few biblical points you seem to be lacking.

1. We should hate the sin, not the sinner. We are told in the bible not to hate anyone, therefore everyone is our neighbor, including your gay friend. He therefore falls under, love thy neighbor as thyself. Unfriending him because he is gay is in no way a loving thing to do.

2. We are to live in the world, not a part of it. The only way your friend is going to become truely saved is through hearing the word. How is he going to hear the word if you turn your back on him?

3. Paul and I do not completely agree on this. Paul says not to even eat with the unrighteous.

1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

That description would certainly include your friend. You could, it seems, with a clear conscious separate yourself from your friend I do not believe this is what Paul was talking about.

If a known Christian is found associating with immoral people they might conclude that the Christian found nothing wrong with the immorality. However, I do not find that case here as your purpose is to lead them to righteousness, not party with them, and all your Christian friends should understand.

I studies this topic because I also have a friend who was gay and considered themselves as a Christian. After a few years associating with me, however, He has changed his tune, now he says he is going to hell because he is disobeying the word of God, He has come to the truth. Unfortunately he still hasn't repented, perhaps in time.

Good luck teaching him.

 

[sethrak]

Hate the sin, yep~someone who has lied, or stolen or yes so they did that in their life~love them now
But a thief, a rat that steals for a living or regularly~or a lying, thief or man who would rape when it suits him or a snibbling sex punk who might enlist young into his filth~

There are degrees of sin and while there in thankfully forgiveness is it for one who has intent to do this to you to steal from you, or rape her or perform mutual masturbation and penetration with another man or child as their way of life.

A tax collector was considered a sinner but Jesus ate with them~a adulterous woman was saved from stoning and was told to sin no more,,,,not go back to your sin and give my best wishes to the fellow you were caught with.

It is good to think kindly but we don't have a right to give away what is not ours to give~or read into the Bible or teaching what was never there.

 

[WilliamBo]

If you love him enough to care for his fate, his destiny; then at some time soon you need to tell him
that he is being lied to about the hope of his salvation.

Oh yes I absolutely do plan on doing that, but like paul said in the NT, something like ''snatch others from the flames of judgment, but do it with GREAT CAUTION, hating the sins that contaminate their lives.''

Is he living out a homosexual lifestyle? Or is he confessing that he struggles against it?

Forgive me...

Yes, he has a boyfriend I think, goes to gay clubs and festivals, and has many gay friends. He doesn't say he ''struggles'' with it, he just says hes ''gay''

Wow, this post is for me! I thought the same exact thing! I was an empath, or have intuition. Its a perversion of discernment. It takes away the Holy Spirit and makes it look like you have the power. Wow. wow.Humbling myself Lord.

Great, I'm glad you got something out of it. Yea, I used to go to psychics and they told me I had ''psychic'' abilities and I was what they call an ''empath.'' It's having great ''empathy'' [not ''sympathy'', that's different], meaning you can feel peoples emotions and thoughts when you are around them. It is a very stressful trait as I get so overloaded with ''absorbing'' everyones emotions around me

If God were to tell you to go out into the world and preach the gospel, will you tell him "No I cant be seen around those wick people" ????

When you were in your "sin" Should people have shunned you and not allowed you entrance into their church because they did want to sit with a wicked person?

I see what you're saying but there is a difference between protecting myself while I am spiritually weak/vulnerable and what you are saying. I am not a strong Christian and need to stay away from bad influences until I am strong enough to be a positive influence to them