Hey guys! I was wondering if you all could give me some ideas. The youth in our church is really struggling to live for God right now. Most of the older teens/young adults are beginning to backslide, and the younger children have no desire whatsoever to live for God. Any ideas on how we can reach them?
Reaching young adults?
- Thread starter camcates21
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Okay, it sounds like you're trying to reach everybody - which is admirable, but problematic because not everybody needs the same things. So I'm going to break down your question to better help clarify the needs of each group and how they are different. I think understanding needs is the first step to reaching people. If you fill a need, they naturally desire to be with you and with Jesus by extension if you're pointing them toward Him as the one who really fills all our needs.
So how to reach...
Teenagers: The greatest need a teenager has relates directly to his/her identity. Teenagers are growing in independence and are naturally questioning everything they are taught. They question everything, because their brain is developing the ability to reason and use critical thinking and rational argumentation. They're really bad at it, because their brain isn't fully developed in that area yet... but they're trying really hard. This questioning of everything includes questioning themselves. They want to know who they are and who they want to become. They're in a constant state of identity crisis. That's why they try out pink hair one week and then turn around and try something entirely different the next week. They're trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be.
The best way to fill that need is to be real with them about who you are and who God is. They learn from seeing your integrity about who you are. Be open with them. The messages that speak to them strongest are about who God is, who Jesus is, and how God gives us our identity as sons and daughters - loved and saved through His grace no matter what mistakes we may make or who tries to tell us differently. Testimonies are huge to them! Tell them about how God has brought you to where you are and how God has defined who you are. And be patient with them as they are figuring things out for themselves. Help them make the connections they are trying to hard to make, but let them think and figure things out to the best of their ability first... then be there to offer help when it is needed and teach them how to do what you're doing to make the connections.
Young Adults: The greatest need for young adults - especially single young adults - is community and belonging. They (we - I'm included in this) have an almost desperate desire to be loved and to belong. They don't really fit into the old modes of their childhood anymore but aren't yet able to really identify with the older generations either. They're in a transitional part of life and they're always (typically) super busy and super broke. And super lonely and in need of safe spaces to hang out with other like-minded young adults. Honestly, this is the most difficult group to reach (from what I've studied and experienced) because this current young adult generation has a lot of baggage when it comes to church conformity and church attendance and church attitudes etc. I don't know what's best to help this group, because I haven't seen a lot of successful attempts yet... but the few I have seen included set times and spaces to connect that weren't directly related to a church service (although they could be at the church building) where there was a lot of time to just relax and hang out together. Messages that have been strongest received in my observation have been ones about belonging in the family of God. Messages that tell us we are not alone. Honestly, if you have any advice to give on this group - I'd love to hear it. I'm still brainstorming and working on figuring out this group and how to reach them now. I do recommend though reading You Lost Me by David Kinnaman. It's all about what perceptions young adults have of church and Christianity and why they have those perceptions and struggles. It could help.
Children: A child's greatest need is it's parents. A child's entire world is only as big as it's mom and dad... and as it grows that expands to it's immediate family and then to it's classmates (around middle school age). Children learn through watching and copying their parents. So if you want to engage and reach children, you must include and encourage their parents. The best children's programs I've seen are actually not children's programs... they're family programs, where the entire family - or at least that child and his/her parents - are doing activities together and learning from stories, songs, and object lessons. Kids need to experience things and they need the safety and security of their parents to really get into it. The safety/security part gets less as the child grows older (middle school age are often able to handle being away from parents) but it's still very important to older children that their parents experience things with them. It builds connection and relationship. The strongest children's messages are about family and how to be a family with God and how God takes care of us like our parents take care of us.
A few more key elements that apply to all young people of all ages:
1. Speak Christ's love - and live like you mean it!
2. Meet their needs - and show them how Christ meets their needs even when no one else can.
3. GET EVERYONE INVOLVED! I can't stress that one enough. Children learn by copying adults. Teens learn by watching and arguing with adults. Young adults learn by interacting in community with other adults. We all learn from each other, we all need to feel loved, and we all need the support of community. In church settings especailly there is often a divide between the older generations and the young people. Erase that divide if at all possible and whenever possible. Get the kids involved in doing and learning what the adults are doing (in terms of tasks and roles in the church). Get the adults mentoring kids. Encourage a sense of family among all the generations.
That's what I've learned. If you want resources and reading materials etc. feel free to PM me and I'll give ya a list of what's been helpful for me.
So how to reach...
Teenagers: The greatest need a teenager has relates directly to his/her identity. Teenagers are growing in independence and are naturally questioning everything they are taught. They question everything, because their brain is developing the ability to reason and use critical thinking and rational argumentation. They're really bad at it, because their brain isn't fully developed in that area yet... but they're trying really hard. This questioning of everything includes questioning themselves. They want to know who they are and who they want to become. They're in a constant state of identity crisis. That's why they try out pink hair one week and then turn around and try something entirely different the next week. They're trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be.
The best way to fill that need is to be real with them about who you are and who God is. They learn from seeing your integrity about who you are. Be open with them. The messages that speak to them strongest are about who God is, who Jesus is, and how God gives us our identity as sons and daughters - loved and saved through His grace no matter what mistakes we may make or who tries to tell us differently. Testimonies are huge to them! Tell them about how God has brought you to where you are and how God has defined who you are. And be patient with them as they are figuring things out for themselves. Help them make the connections they are trying to hard to make, but let them think and figure things out to the best of their ability first... then be there to offer help when it is needed and teach them how to do what you're doing to make the connections.
Young Adults: The greatest need for young adults - especially single young adults - is community and belonging. They (we - I'm included in this) have an almost desperate desire to be loved and to belong. They don't really fit into the old modes of their childhood anymore but aren't yet able to really identify with the older generations either. They're in a transitional part of life and they're always (typically) super busy and super broke. And super lonely and in need of safe spaces to hang out with other like-minded young adults. Honestly, this is the most difficult group to reach (from what I've studied and experienced) because this current young adult generation has a lot of baggage when it comes to church conformity and church attendance and church attitudes etc. I don't know what's best to help this group, because I haven't seen a lot of successful attempts yet... but the few I have seen included set times and spaces to connect that weren't directly related to a church service (although they could be at the church building) where there was a lot of time to just relax and hang out together. Messages that have been strongest received in my observation have been ones about belonging in the family of God. Messages that tell us we are not alone. Honestly, if you have any advice to give on this group - I'd love to hear it. I'm still brainstorming and working on figuring out this group and how to reach them now. I do recommend though reading You Lost Me by David Kinnaman. It's all about what perceptions young adults have of church and Christianity and why they have those perceptions and struggles. It could help.
Children: A child's greatest need is it's parents. A child's entire world is only as big as it's mom and dad... and as it grows that expands to it's immediate family and then to it's classmates (around middle school age). Children learn through watching and copying their parents. So if you want to engage and reach children, you must include and encourage their parents. The best children's programs I've seen are actually not children's programs... they're family programs, where the entire family - or at least that child and his/her parents - are doing activities together and learning from stories, songs, and object lessons. Kids need to experience things and they need the safety and security of their parents to really get into it. The safety/security part gets less as the child grows older (middle school age are often able to handle being away from parents) but it's still very important to older children that their parents experience things with them. It builds connection and relationship. The strongest children's messages are about family and how to be a family with God and how God takes care of us like our parents take care of us.
A few more key elements that apply to all young people of all ages:
1. Speak Christ's love - and live like you mean it!
2. Meet their needs - and show them how Christ meets their needs even when no one else can.
3. GET EVERYONE INVOLVED! I can't stress that one enough. Children learn by copying adults. Teens learn by watching and arguing with adults. Young adults learn by interacting in community with other adults. We all learn from each other, we all need to feel loved, and we all need the support of community. In church settings especailly there is often a divide between the older generations and the young people. Erase that divide if at all possible and whenever possible. Get the kids involved in doing and learning what the adults are doing (in terms of tasks and roles in the church). Get the adults mentoring kids. Encourage a sense of family among all the generations.
That's what I've learned. If you want resources and reading materials etc. feel free to PM me and I'll give ya a list of what's been helpful for me.
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