Question for the guys, regarding chubby chicks

[leothelioness]

If you're trying to lose weight, and you can't, it's frustrating. If she really, really wants to lose weight and keeps hitting that wall, it could turn into a lot of self-pity. I don't know of a single man on this planet who finds wallowing in self-pity attractive. If a man likes the way his girlfriend or wife looks, and she's so stuck on what she doesn't like that his compliments aren't registering to her, that's very frustrating.

Okay, I thought you were saying that losing weight equates to image issues. Thanks for clarifying.

 

[Dionysiou]

women have to be lighter than me and not taller either. i dont want my women emasculating me.

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

Taller doesn't matter to me.

 

[MacFall]

By the way, the first time I fell in love it was with a girl who was overweight. She had big thighs, a big butt, and a bit of a soft belly, and I thought all three were lovely. She was athletic, though, and worked hard to be fit despite her natural body shape. It was that hard-working nature along with her sense of humor that hooked me.

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

Let's say there are two 'fluffy' ladies that you know.

One of them is content in her fluffiness, she's happy and confident and relatively healthy, but she's not interested in losing weight.

The other is the same size, but she's actively working on losing weight and getting healthy. She'll never be a modelesque gym rat, but she wants to look and feel healthier, and she's on her way. She's also a happy, confident person, but she's very much wanting to lose the weight that girl #1 doesn't mind having.

Do you view them differently? Are they both equally unattractive or undateable because of their weight? Do their motivations and attitudes affect how you'd feel about them?

I think I'll be parroting much of what others have already said. But I'd like to add...

...I had a significant attraction to a girl that was, shall we say "fluffy". She was maybe 30 pounds beyond a healthy bodyfat percentage for her frame. She was kinda short, so 30 pounds on her was more than it would be on a 6 footer. Her personality, her character... just her herself, was wonderful. Someone, somewhere will be a better man for having her as his wife. Did her weight cross my mind? Actually, it did. Why? Because as Luther said:

you can't marry the girl or date her based on what you think she will be in the future, you have to base it on how she looks now.

If I was going to choose to be with someone, it would be just that. A choice to be with and love that person. Not who I hope they will be or what I wish they would be. I was concerned that maybe she was a little careless about things in life. Maybe she vented her emotional frustrations out by eating? Who knows? I wasn't going to judge her over it. And even if that was the case, would it be better if she took her frustrations out in a gym and had a sculpted body? Same root problem, different poor external reaction. In fact, I know someone who is very fit and beautiful and about as bitter as a green persimmon.

Give me the lovely fluffy girls over the twiggy bitter ones any day.

However, the hefty girl who was uninterested in getting just a little healthier would worry me. The one who was taking charge of her situation would be attractive for her ability to get things done for herself. Prov 31:17 "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." Not that she has to be a plow horse, of course.

Have you seen Mischa Barton since she gained some weight? Fine looking woman, if you ask me...

I'd be a little worried why her weight was fishtailing all over, of course and do what I could to help her if she was any of my concern.

Hope this rambling is of some value to you.

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

She had big thighs, a big butt, and a bit of a soft belly

I just wanted to quote this to prove that at least one man here has enough brass to say that a woman had a big butt.

MacFall, this salute is for you.

ten-HUT *clicks heels*

 

[MacFall]

Well, I only said it to her once. She was touchy about it.

But I did say it.

 

[leothelioness]

Give me the lovely fluffy girls over the twiggy bitter ones any day.

Skinny girls are bitter now?

 

[b.hopeful]

Skinny girls are bitter now?

Fat girls are bitter now? To my knowledge, we've always been jovial.

 

[leothelioness]

I've just never heard anybody say that skinny girls are bitter. lol That's a new one.

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

Skinny girls are bitter now?

Nope, just making a comparison to show that I'm not just looking on the outside. Someone built like Heidi Klum with a bad attitude vs someone built like Caro Emerald who was darling... guess who I'd pursue?

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

Fat girls are bitter now? To my knowledge, we've always been jovial.

The only thing that went through my mind when I read this sentence was:

"Her eyes--how they twinkled! Her dimples, how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, Her nose like a cherry!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and when she steps on the mound, can that girl throw!"

With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore. I repent in dust and ashes.

 

[leothelioness]

Well, the way you worded it made it sound like all skinny girls were bitter. I was like

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

Well, the way you worded it made it sound like all skinny girls were bitter. I was like

Sorry.

I meant that if there was a choice between a... somehow I suspect that no matter what I say I'm getting flamed.

Noodles

Leo, I'm sure you're as sweet as summer wine and lovely as a flower garden.

 

[leothelioness]

Lol, that's okay. Just a misunderstanding.

 

[NoodlesNoodlesNoodles]

Lol, that's okay. Just a misunderstanding.

"[Your] beauty makes this [forum] a feasting presence full of light."

No bitterness. Really!

(With apologies to Shakespeare.)

 

[leothelioness]

I'm not sure if that's meant to be flattering or what.

 

[broken_one]

Yeah I really kind of am like reading these last two pages.

Let's settle down with the flattery here.

 

[Mobiosity]

That doesn't make dieting the problem. The problem is people thinking that they can diet for a short amount of time, and just start eating gargantuan portions once again, and downing Diet Pepsi as they sit and watch TV all day. If you choose to go on a low-calorie, moderate-exercise regime and are willing to continue it through as a lifestyle, you can be at a healthy weight. You may not get slender, as not everyone's bone structure allows that, but diet's are not the problem; people's lifestyles and habits and relationships with food as the problem.

I'm going out on a limb and assuming you've never been fat.

 

[Stravinsk]

I'm going out on a limb and assuming you've never been fat.

What Trashionista is saying is correct. And yeah, I used to weigh alot more than I do now. "Dieting" didn't help. A big change in the foods I ate, (and even how I combined them), did, though. "Dieting" is a temporary measure, by definition. Lifestyle change is what works for the long run.