Question for the guys, regarding chubby chicks

Inkachu

Bursting with fruit flavor!
Jan 31, 2008
35,357
4,217
Somewhere between Rivendell and Rohan
✟62,966.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Let's say there are two 'fluffy' ladies that you know.

One of them is content in her fluffiness, she's happy and confident and relatively healthy, but she's not interested in losing weight.

The other is the same size, but she's actively working on losing weight and getting healthy. She'll never be a modelesque gym rat, but she wants to look and feel healthier, and she's on her way. She's also a happy, confident person, but she's very much wanting to lose the weight that girl #1 doesn't mind having.

Do you view them differently? Are they both equally unattractive or undateable because of their weight? Do their motivations and attitudes affect how you'd feel about them?
 

Luther073082

κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον
Apr 1, 2007
19,202
840
41
New Carlisle, IN
✟31,326.00
Faith
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I've already found my wife but take this for what its worth.

Here is the thing. . . you can't marry the girl or date her based on what you think she will be in the future, you have to base it on how she looks now.

So physically all else being equal they are of equal attractivness.

Now personality speaking the girl #2 has an ambition that is attractive.

The thing I worry about with #1 would be that she will never care how she looks or what weight she is. While she may be physically attractive now. How will she look in several years while she is busy not caring?

With 2, you know she at least cares to keep herself in decent shape and hopefully wouldn't just completly let herself go.
 
Upvote 0

ZealouS

Senior Member
Sep 25, 2004
1,337
51
39
Utah
Visit site
✟9,269.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
The lack of motivation in the first girl would turn me off. I can totally understand and identify with someone who has made some bad decisions regarding their health, but to not recognize those bad decisions and at least try to correct them would bug me big time.
 
Upvote 0

kevlite2020

rawr means I love you in dinosaur!
Sep 11, 2008
10,781
2,265
39
Florida
Visit site
✟28,200.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Haha, Kev! Sorry, should I edit my wording? Some overweight women HATE to be called "chubby" or "fat" or "chunky" or "big"...never know which term to use.

lol, that was me not having a good answer but I wanted to say something, so that's all I had :p Fluffy always makes me giggle for a description for overweight...

Anyways, yeah if they look good, they look good. I'm kind of with Kirk. Can't base attraction on what they might eventually become. Although having the motivation to try and cut down their weight may be an attractive quality. Hopefully that makes sense.
 
Upvote 0

penNpaper

Keep on moving
Nov 14, 2006
14,239
624
Youngstown
✟25,973.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Let's say there are two 'fluffy' ladies that you know.

One of them is content in her fluffiness, she's happy and confident and relatively healthy, but she's not interested in losing weight.

The other is the same size, but she's actively working on losing weight and getting healthy. She'll never be a modelesque gym rat, but she wants to look and feel healthier, and she's on her way. She's also a happy, confident person, but she's very much wanting to lose the weight that girl #1 doesn't mind having.

Do you view them differently? Are they both equally unattractive or undateable because of their weight? Do their motivations and attitudes affect how you'd feel about them?

I'm a "fluffy" dude and I'm trying to lose weight to be more healthy but I'm not going to judge nor be like "she is off the list" because of waist size. I accept peeps as they are :) that is plain rude :) accept peeps because they have awesome personalities than what their physical looks are :)

God Bless,
Drew
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

MacFall

Agorist
Nov 24, 2007
12,726
1,170
Western Pennsylvania, USA
✟25,688.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Others
I would prefer the second. In fact, the only thing that makes the difference to me where weight is concerned is whether a woman takes care of herself. I have no problem with "overweight" women as long as they really try to be healthy. And if "overweight" is healthy for them, fine. The BMI would call Marilyn Monroe fat.

But I have to say I'm very turned off when girls overeat, absolutely REFUSE to do any form of exercise, and then call me shallow because I'm not attracted to them. Not referencing anyone here, but I know a few people offline who are like that. And there are real-life Peter Griffins and Homer Simpsons as well, of course.
 
Upvote 0

Balugon

o( ' . ' )o
Jul 18, 2005
6,087
872
The Looking Glass
✟32,104.00
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Single
I want to have someone I know has an awesome personality and character first, and that can come through friendships. If I happen to find that she is amazing, perhaps it wouldn't matter what she looked like on the outside. I mean, if I am absolutely enthralled with what is on the inside, perhaps the outside would become a trivial matter.

That said, all other things being equal, I would prefer the woman who is trying to lose weight. Currently I want a woman that is roughly in the medically mentioned healthy weight range, and so out of the knowledge that Woman B is working on getting closer to that point, it makes me more satisfied because one of my desires is being honored/closer to being achieved.

But hey, if Woman A is overweight, but is entirely healthy, and God wants her to focus on more important things than her weight at the moment, then the more power to her. Overweight/chunky women used to be the bee's knees. It's society that has chosen to shift the focus to slender women being what is attractive, and unfortunately sometimes even to the point of it being physically dangerous for women to try to achieve the standards that have been getting set up.
 
Upvote 0

Keri

Well-Known Member
Jan 1, 2006
21,131
4,240
✟51,653.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
In Relationship
I would prefer the second. In fact, the only thing that makes the difference to me where weight is concerned is whether a woman takes care of herself. I have no problem with "overweight" women as long as they really try to be healthy. And if "overweight" is healthy for them, fine. The BMI would call Marilyn Monroe fat.

But I have to say I'm very turned off when girls overeat, absolutely REFUSE to do any form of exercise, and then call me shallow because I'm not attracted to them. Not referencing anyone here, but I know a few people offline who are like that. And there are real-life Peter Griffins and Homer Simpsons as well, of course.


THANK YOU! I hate that mindset, from a male or female.
 
Upvote 0

~Beauty_from_Pain~

By His grace, For His glory
Jul 29, 2005
31,005
722
USA
✟41,978.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Republican
M21-EWE%27S-NOT-FAT,-EWE%27S-FLUFFY-thumbs.jpg


Glad to hear that some guys do think there is a difference. That's always been the hardest for me-to be lumped into the category of those who are overweight because they don't really care, or if they do care, they are unwilling to do anything about it. I am very health conscience-if you came to my house, you would be bored at the food choices (and teenagers would wilt away). But I don't know if I will ever be the "right" size. So I have tried to just be as healthy as I can, and the guy that marries me (if that happens) will love me for me, will find me attractive, and will understand that "ewe's not lazy, ewe's not unhealthy....ewe is just that way. lol
 
Upvote 0

b.hopeful

Sharp as a razor, soft as a prayer
Jul 17, 2009
2,057
303
St.Louis metropolitan area
✟11,162.00
Faith
United Ch. of Christ
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
FWIW....when I got married 16 years ago I was @20 lbs. overweight and my dh was at an ideal weight for his frame. FF to today and I'm the exact same size I was the day I married...even after 3 pregnancies and my dh is very close to 100 lbs. more than when we married.

Technically I would consider myself of the first mindset...I'm not fretting over this extra weight. I have never been on a diet. I've never taken a diet pill. I don't go to the gym. The extra weight has never stopped me from participating in anything. I eat healthy enough, I am active enough...I gained 15 lbs with each pregnancy and lost it during delivery...I'm not going to fret about some extra pounds.

That doesn't mean I don't care if I get so heavy I have to alter my life around accommodating my weight. I took fluffy to mean a little extra weight...not the fast track to obesity.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Amber.ly

Predictably eccentric and honestly hypocritical
Mar 1, 2010
6,591
1,799
Gone- PM if you need me
✟22,486.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Let's say there are two 'fluffy' ladies that you know.

One of them is content in her fluffiness, she's happy and confident and relatively healthy, but she's not interested in losing weight.

The other is the same size, but she's actively working on losing weight and getting healthy. She'll never be a modelesque gym rat, but she wants to look and feel healthier, and she's on her way. She's also a happy, confident person, but she's very much wanting to lose the weight that girl #1 doesn't mind having.

Interesting answers so far.

I'm girl #1 and better for it. I've been the same size since I was 16 and while I'm a curvy size 12, I feel much healthier and happier than any woman who is any size and on a diet. I know so many females who are constantly dieting and ruining meals with talks of calories counts and fat content. And their main goal in life is either to get to the gym or making excuses for why they didn't go to the gym. No thanks. Their end results are nice but getting there is just not worth it. Even after a woman gets to her ideal body, she is always worried about losing it or trying to go even farther.

I would rather be healthy (physically and mentally) as I am than work to look like something that is just a culture standard.

Sorry for the rant. But I couldn't help myself ^_^
 
Upvote 0

CoachR64

Awesome, with a side order of amazing
Jul 2, 2007
7,292
673
45
Oklahoma City, OK
✟25,977.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
#1 would be a turn off. I am a big guy and have no problem admitting I am over weight But I am actively looking to get healthier and admire and respect that in a significant other. My girlfriend is not a petite tiny girl, but she has already lost a significant chunk of weight and is working on losing more.... I am not attracted to her because of what she could look like in the future, I am attracted to her now. What I think is awesome is she wants to be healthier and help me get healthier for a future long life together.

Coach
 
Upvote 0

Themistocles

Newbie
Sep 13, 2009
434
49
✟8,301.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
It would probably depend a lot on the definition of "fluffy". If it's girls who are above, say, 29 BMI or something (I know, I know, it's only a rough measure of health) then I'd prefer the second one. I'm an active person and there's a point, weight-wise, where even participating in that active lifestyle would be impossible. I want to bike across country at some point. If I were married I'd like, obviously, for my wife to come along. I don't see how this would be possible if she were quite heavy and uninterested in dropping some weight. On the other hand, if we were talking about a girl who just tipped over the normal range- 25 or so- I'd probably prefer a girl who was reasonably secure in her weight. There's nothing wrong with being quite skinny; there is something wrong with the drive to become quite skinny. When you're "basically" normal there's something insecure and unnattractive about an attempt to meet society's arbitrary standards.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums