Question about sleepovers

[Joannee]

my daughter is 14 and she got invited to a sleepover next weekend. I really don’t feel like I should let her go. Am I just being silly?

 

[Chris V++]

My son had sleepovers starting at 9. We knew the parents.
At 14 I guess it would depend on if there is going to be adult supervision. Are her friends responsible?

 

[Joannee]

My son had sleepovers starting at 9. We knew the parents.
At 14 I guess it would depend on if there is going to be adult supervision. Are her friends responsible?

I don’t really think that her friends are a good influence on her

 

[Chris V++]

If you don't give them a little freedom there is the risk of rebellion, plus they can go really wild when they are finally on their own. Why aren't her friends a good influence?

 

[Joannee]

If you don't give them a little freedom there is the risk of rebellion, plus they can go really wild when they are finally on their own. Why aren't her friends a good influence?

They always try to get her involved in their shenanigans, and they get in trouble at school

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Don't let her go.

 

[Chris V++]

They always try to get her involved in their shenanigans, and they get in trouble at school

Oh that's a tough one. What are the shenanigans and what sort of trouble? I know school is a lot more strict than it was in recent years. Is the trouble at school for talking in the hallway or missing class, or do you mean more serious offenses like alcohol, drugs, vandalism, fighting?

 

[Joannee]

Don't let her go.

That’s what I’m thinking

 

[Joannee]

Oh that's a tough one. What are the shenanigans and what sort of trouble? I know school is a lot more strict than it was in recent years. Is the trouble at school for talking in the hallway or missing class, or do you mean more serious offenses like alcohol, drugs, vandalism, fighting?

They talk back to teachers, show up to class late, and stuff like that. I don’t want her around kids like that, even though I know they’re not bad kids at heart

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

even though I know they’re not bad kids at heart

Most kids are bad. TEST to see, by Scripture, constant prayer, to know.

 

[Joannee]

Most kids are bad. TEST to see, by Scripture, constant prayer, to know.

They’ve made fun of her in the past

 

[Chris V++]

They’ve made fun of her in the past

They sound like bullies. Does she want to go so she will stay on their good side?

 

[Joannee]

They sound like bullies. Does she want to go so she will stay on their good side?

They are a little, she says they always like fun at her and tease her but she says that’s just the way they are, apparently they do it to each other too. And no I don’t think so, I think she’s just fascinated by the idea of a sleepover

 

[Chris V++]

A sleepover is one of those childhood memories. What's the worst that can happen? Teasing and bullying are too different things. We tease people with like. It could be a sign of affection and not necessarily a bad sign. Also you should be happy she has friends, even if they aren't teacher's pets, as long as they aren't cruel and immoral.

 

[Joannee]

A sleepover is one of those childhood memories. What's the worse that can happen? Teasing and bullying are too different things. We tease people with like. It could be a sign of affection and not necessarily a bad sign. Also you should be happy she has friends, even if they aren't teacher's pets, as long as they aren't cruel and immoral.

I just don’t feel comfortable letting her sleep at someone else’s house. Especially with her friends, I wouldn’t even want to guess what they would plan to do

 

[Chris V++]

I just don’t feel comfortable letting her sleep at someone else’s house. Especially with her friends, I wouldn’t even want to guess what they would plan to do

I guess it depends on if there will be parents home and will they be supervised?
They will probably watch movies, gossip, listen to music, eat junk food. It's scary though, letting them venture out in the world on their own.

 

[Joannee]

I guess it depends on if there will be parents home and will they be supervised?
They will probably watch movies, gossip, listen to music, eat junk food. It's scary though, letting them venture out in the world on their own.

The parents will be there, but they usually let them do whatever they want. I wouldn’t be surprised if they went somewhere at night

 

[Chris V++]

The parents will be there, but they usually let them do whatever they want. I wouldn’t be surprised if they went somewhere at night

What do the parents let them do that is so bad? Where can they go at night? The mall? Maybe to an arcade or fast food restaurant?

Does she have a cell phone? You could always insist on her keeping you posted. Plus you can put tracker software on the phone to monitor her movements so at least you will always know where she will be.

 

[Joannee]

What do the parents let them do that is so bad? Where can they go at night? The mall? Maybe to an arcade or fast food restaurant?

Does she have a cell phone? You could always insist on her keeping you posted. Plus you can put tracker software on the phone to monitor her movements so at least you will always know where she will be.

If I did that I feel she would think I don’t trust her. And I really don’t want her going to any of those places with them at night.

 

[Chris V++]

If I did that I feel she would think I don’t trust her. And I really don’t want her going to any of those places with them at night.

Is it just this specific group of girls? Would you be ok with her roaming the mall at night with an unsupervised church youth group? Or are you worried about society at large?