Purity

[shout2thelord]

I found the silver ring thing thread interesting before there started to be some disscussion on the subject of purity but then it kinda stopped so i thought i would post a more specific thread. Also there are both christians and non christians in this forums now which would make it more interesting. So i was wondering how many people in the UK (on the forum) are waiting or have waited until they were married to have sex.
I thought about it a lot since a year ago i read Rebecca St.james book called wait for me and i think its really important. And am interested in other books like I kissed dating good bye cant remember who its by.
Rebecca talks about the importance of abstinence at all her concerts and encourages those who have already had sex to become a recycled virgin so to wait from now on.
so wondered what your thoughts are

 

[ShawnR]

Im glad to see Rebecca St. James name listed in this thread. and the author of the the second book is by "Joshua Harris".

 

[welshchick]

I am waiting until i'm married before having sex - i think its really important to.

 

[Tangnefedd]

I didn't wait until the ring was on my finger and don't have a problem with that!

 

[maoam_uk]

im waiting until im married to have sex. also im waiting till the wedding day to even kiss my wife, cos i made a promise to god tostay like this until marriage. and im happy with it and i know god will provide me my girl who'll be fine with that

 

[ab1385]

I don't know about it being more important than any other sin. But it is still a sin to have sex outside of marriage, so Im waiting.

 

[Kilted Stranger]

no it cant be any worse than any other sin, all sin is equal in the eyes of God, but the wages of sin is death... im going to try to keep it... im not sure if it will work though.

 

[Tangnefedd]

im waiting until im married to have sex. also im waiting till the wedding day to even kiss my wife, cos i made a promise to god tostay like this until marriage. and im happy with it and i know god will provide me my girl who'll be fine with that

I think any prospective wife might have a big problem with you not kissing her before marriage! I don't know what others feel about that, but it seems unnatural to me. Why would you make a promise like that to God, there is absolutely nothing wrong with kissing.

 

[shout2thelord]

I think that the boundaries outside having sex need to be set between the 2 people but i wouldnt want to go to far then u might as well just have sex. Maoam_UK i think its really cool that your gonna wait til your wedding day to kiss your wife it will be so romantic.

I think its really important to pray for your future husband or wife as well. I think God gave sex to us a s a gift and we need to be responsible with it. Now so many teenagers no about protection but they dont consider abstinence an option.

 

[Tangnefedd]

Maoam_UK i think its really cool that your gonna wait til your wedding day to kiss your wife it will be so romantic.

I suspect he will not get as far as his wedding night if signs of affection, like kissing, are not used during his wooing of a woman!!!

 

[Echolab]

I didn't wait and I regret it

 

[shout2thelord]

Maoam_UK i think its really cool that your gonna wait til your wedding day to kiss your wife it will be so romantic.

I suspect he will not get as far as his wedding night if signs of affection, like kissing, are not used during his wooing of a woman!!!

I think that he will. I dont think that relationships are just about kissing and the most important thing about a person is their personality because that will last longer than any physical attraction.

 

[StormeTorque]

We had a discussion about this at a Methsoc meeting, and it was surprising to find that most people in the group believed that it was acceptable to have sex before marriage in a committed relationship.

Heres a question though - if you consider sex before marriage a sin, what sexual acts that don't actually involve intercourse - is there definite scriptural backing on this, or is it up to the couple to decide how far is too far?

 

[shout2thelord]

good question strom torque i think really you have to set your own boundaries but u know when u act out of lust or if u are going to far because u would feel convicted. In her book wait for me Rebecca St.james said that one way of setting a boundary is by saing that u can touch anything that would be covered by a 2 peice bathing suit. but i think u cant set a general rule because its just legalistic u have to decide for yourself.

but i would still definately agree that sex before marraige is wrong.

 

[ChristsChick]

I think sex before marriage is wrong, I'm stil a virgin, but I've done a lot of things sexually I'm not proud of, and I sort of feel it takes away from my future husband that I've done that. When I think of the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with doing those sorts of things with other girls...I don't want to put him through that.

The boundary I use is if I wouldn't do it in front of my parents I'm not going to do it at all. But I agree everybody is different, so you just have to find something that works for you and stick to it.

 

[shout2thelord]

I think we know when something is wrong and if were passionate about living our lives for God then we wont really want to give in to sexual temptation but its easy to fall if u only take your eyes off God for a second - im learning this the tme i struggle most is when im not spending a lot of time with God.
I am also still a virgin but i have done things mostly before i was a christian that im not proud of and i based my relationships on physical looks rather than character. and i gave into the pressure from the world that told me if u dont have lots of relationships u wont never get married. well now i know thats not true and God doesnt want us to get consumed with that and if were living for him well know when weve found the right person

 

[shout2thelord]

(staff edit)
I dont think we should bring it up in this area because there isnt an age limit i guess it was mostly involved in touch and physically going to far without actually taking clothes off. If u have done this stuff before then u can probably work it out but im just thinking we should be responsible if younger members read this forum.

 

[traingosorry]

I also didn't wait and regret it . I wasn't christian at the time but in my heart I knew that what I was doing was wrong. Strangely enough, that in itself is part of what brought me to God, and I ended that relationship after 3 yrs because he wasn't willing to adjust to my love for another guy, God- it was a no-brainer decision for me.
I had a really hard time afterwards, feeling incredibly guilty ( I wish I knew then what I know now, that God does not wave his finger in your face and say *tsk tsk tsk* That is the devil, God has forgiven and forgotten the moment you sincerely apologize). I felt guilty also because I knew that one day I will have to explain this to my future husband who will also hopefully be a christian, and I am not sure where he will be in his spiritual walk and if he can forgive me. I agree with Christschick that I would not want him to have to go through any ordeal knowing this isn't something we are both sharing together for the first time, I would not want to cause him any pain from my past choices.

It's definitely something worth really thinking about before it gets out of hand.

 

[Tangnefedd]

(staff edit)

They taught the facts of life a bit differently in my day, I thought you had to have intercourse to lose your viginity, LOL!!!!

I think this topic is getting a bit OTT, I don't think it is really necessary to go into graphic detail what folk get up to in the bedroom, or backseat of the car, etc, I think we can use our imaginations!

 

[artybloke]

Quite agree, Tang. There are other websites for that kind of thing. Let's not go there.

Actually, I didn't wait and don't regret it. Afterwards, I stopped obsessing about it quite so much, and kind of got on with life.