Psychology of Marraige Roles (Why Complentarianism Doesn't Work Based on Gender)

[Victory-N-Christ]

I disagree. As has been noted, there is a LOT of overlap. Any seeming disadvantage can be eliminated by proper training.

The actual differences that should be recognized and exploited are individual. Even with the cultural biases in place there is a much larger difference from one man or one woman to another than there is between the averages of men and women.

From the very beginning God assigned gender functions. Wife=helpmeet. What does a helper do? They help whenever and wherever they're needed in the relationship.This includes a co-leadership when the husband=rule over thee) needs help.Men should just accept whatever help we can get or are offered from wives.To prevent them from helping is against God's order of things.IMHO.

 

[HereIStand]

What about the single moms who *have*to take the *lead* because their husband,boyfriend, baby daddy refuses to step to the plate?There are women who work because they don't have a choice. It's either that or welfare and some women don't want to fall into that trap.

Sure. Women should be work outside the home if they desire to or have to based on need. It is sad that a woman would be forced to because of her husband or boyfriend's refusal to share the work load.

 

[Victory-N-Christ]

Sure. Women should be work outside the home if they desire to or have to based on need. It is sad that a woman would be forced to because of her husband or boyfriend's refusal to share the work load.

Yes. That is a very sad thing but it's more common these days that women have to carry the financial burden of the family because their man won't step up or can't step up for some reason.

 

[Paidiske]

I don't know that I see it that way, myself.

I don't find it a burden to earn an income. I find it a source of resilience in our family, that if our circumstances change, both of us have the capacity to earn, and options open to us in which we may do so. I personally felt much more burdened and vulnerable when I wasn't working and totally reliant on my husband financially.

 

[Victory-N-Christ]

I don't know that I see it that way, myself.

I don't find it a burden to earn an income. I find it a source of resilience in our family, that if our circumstances change, both of us have the capacity to earn, and options open to us in which we may do so. I personally felt much more burdened and vulnerable when I wasn't working and totally reliant on my husband financially.

I call it a *burden* because it's a big responsibility to have to work when your mate refuses to lift a finger to help.I have a particular scenario in mind when saying this.I've witnessed some pretty sad things concerning marriage and how women are mistreated,used,abused in them. However I do agree with what you've said.

 

[Paidiske]

That makes sense, too.

So often I find myself thinking that part of the answer is that we need much better marriage preparation, but I'm not sure if even that has much affect on people who don't want to do the right thing.

 

[Victory-N-Christ]

That makes sense, too.

So often I find myself thinking that part of the answer is that we need much better marriage preparation, but I'm not sure if even that has much affect on people who don't want to do the right thing.

Amen to that.

 

[mkgal1]

From the very beginning God assigned gender functions. Wife=helpmeet. What does a helper do? They help whenever and wherever they're needed in the relationship

I love a good word study, and this was maybe one of my first.
Genesis 2:18 Lexicon: Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."

The Hebrew word used there is e·zer--have you looked up the other uses for that word? Here they are:
Strong's Hebrew: 5828. עֵ֫זֶר (ezer) -- a help, helper

According to this article--the two words (help meet)`ezer means "strength" or "power" .....which is much more egalitarian than it's typically presented.

 

[Victory-N-Christ]

I love a good word study, and this was maybe one of my first.
Genesis 2:18 Lexicon: Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."

The Hebrew word used there is e·zer--have you looked up the other uses for that word? Here they are:
Strong's Hebrew: 5828. עֵ֫זֶר (ezer) -- a help, helper

According to this article--the two words (help meet)`ezer means "strength" or "power" .....which is much more egalitarian than it's typically presented.

I like a good word study too. Thanks for reminding me about what ezer means. If we look at the Adam and Eve story with an open mind instead of trying to use it as a weapon to oppress or put women in their places( so to speak) we'll find the real potential for a beautiful marriage there or at least I did.

 

[mkgal1]

If we look at the Adam and Eve story with an open mind instead of trying to use it as a weapon to oppress or put women in their places( so to speak) we'll find the real potential for a beautiful marriage there or at least I did

I agree. If a person looks at the use of "ezer"....it's far from a place of "lower class" as in Psalm 33:20....God is our "ezer"....our "help and our shield". I consider that "my place" in marriage.
Psalm 33:20 Hebrew Text Analysis

 

[Fantine]

I have found that men and women are much more resilient than we think, and that when the need arises in families, both women and men can step up and assume whatever roles they need to assume. As children grow up in families with single parents (of either gender) who see their parent successfully master tasks that are both "male" and "female" their own ideas of what is traditionally "male" or "female" expands.

In life, "who does what" isn't as important as that the job gets done, and as long as the bases are covered and the participants are satisfied with the arrangement, anything should be acceptable.

That being said, I would like to compliment all the participants in this thread for their substantive and respectful discourse...