- Aug 16, 2022
- 7
- 4
- 36
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Separated
I hope I have posted in the correct area. I would really value a sounding board for some concepts I'm finding it difficult to discern.
I am separated from my husband and he has filed a petition for divorce. It's not fully completed yet. However, he has said he wants to carry it through to its end.
My husband wants us to divorce but doesn't know what the future holds. For now, he doesn't want us to make a go of it. He didn't rule out a future reconciliation between us and said couples reconnect after being with other people but he's certain he never wants to marry again. He said no amount of preaching will convince him otherwise and that marriage is a piece of paper.
He believes that if I do not want to be in a relationship with him because of divorce, then it's not love. He believes that we should be together for love, not because the law says we're married.
I am finding this problematic because even if we were to reconcile in the future, he would not want to be married to me. If I was not a Christian, I think I could tolerate this and believe that it didn't matter what our legal status is. However, I can't unravel the values I've been taught from my upbringing and what I believe in the Bible about marriage. I feel devalued at the idea of going from marriage to divorce then an undefined relationship with none of the protection or sanctity.
I can't entertain the idea of him being with other people then reconciling in the future. I know people reconcile in a situation like this but for me I see it as purposely polluting the waters and I can't see any way back to him if he pursues this option. Perhaps he will think again that I don't really love him if this is my opinion.
My husband is a skilled talker so I find it difficult to distinguish truth after conversations with him. I would really like to read what other Christians think about my husband's proposals for life after divorce: possible but not guaranteed reconciliation with no marriage prospects.
I hope that makes sense.
Thank you.
I am separated from my husband and he has filed a petition for divorce. It's not fully completed yet. However, he has said he wants to carry it through to its end.
My husband wants us to divorce but doesn't know what the future holds. For now, he doesn't want us to make a go of it. He didn't rule out a future reconciliation between us and said couples reconnect after being with other people but he's certain he never wants to marry again. He said no amount of preaching will convince him otherwise and that marriage is a piece of paper.
He believes that if I do not want to be in a relationship with him because of divorce, then it's not love. He believes that we should be together for love, not because the law says we're married.
I am finding this problematic because even if we were to reconcile in the future, he would not want to be married to me. If I was not a Christian, I think I could tolerate this and believe that it didn't matter what our legal status is. However, I can't unravel the values I've been taught from my upbringing and what I believe in the Bible about marriage. I feel devalued at the idea of going from marriage to divorce then an undefined relationship with none of the protection or sanctity.
I can't entertain the idea of him being with other people then reconciling in the future. I know people reconcile in a situation like this but for me I see it as purposely polluting the waters and I can't see any way back to him if he pursues this option. Perhaps he will think again that I don't really love him if this is my opinion.
My husband is a skilled talker so I find it difficult to distinguish truth after conversations with him. I would really like to read what other Christians think about my husband's proposals for life after divorce: possible but not guaranteed reconciliation with no marriage prospects.
I hope that makes sense.
Thank you.