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Problems at church

rbs70

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Hi all
I'm thinking about quitting my church. I have been a member for over 12 years now and am starting to see things that I dont like.

I know you dont go to church to be seen but I like a church with a strong sence of faimly because mine is weak.
Well it started about 2 years ago I noticed people just started not being as friendly as before. At the time my famly was dealing with some very hard times....very hard... and the church was there but you got a waird feeling. My famly is very active in the church, my mom is a sunday school teacher, dad helps maintain it, and all of us help in the kitchen(head of the dinner commity...we are the dinner commity lol) This is also a point of stress too. People always coming in with stuff for the meal and telling us how what to do with it, how to do it, and that it must all be put out. We have very limited space and try to put some of everything out but still people get upset. Eveyones stuff is out just not in full quanitys. We do restock. The pastors wife and grown daughter are big on this. They make stuff and ask us to finish it for them. This cooking all goes on during church service.
Next my sister and I went to a diffrent school then most of the church so we never got reconised for any of our achevments(I know that also isnt part of church but the pastors grandkids and a select few members children get reconised for anything they do). At the end of sunday school we have the "Sports Report" where the pastors daughter brags about how good her kids did in this sport or another. Its the pastors grandkids so what can you do.

We also started an easter egg hunt at the church over 10 years ago this year. We loved to do it and the church normaly helps but this year we didnt get the donations like normal. $100 to do a job that takes at least two times as much. My mom always added to this every year and the church donated candy too. This year it was said that the church wanted recipts for every penny and didnt come out and say it but thought that we may skim some money off the top because we were going through a tough time right now. So mom got mad and turned it over to another lady and left instructions on how we do it. It turned out to be a dissaster and now the church blames us because we didnt go to the service. Honestly we didnt feel welcome. We also didnt go to easter service.
The pastor of this church has been my pastor all my life and this is his second church during that time. He is very well liked. I used to like him but he isnt the type of person I could ask a question and not be thought less of. I dont feel like I'm wanted there. I do have some good friends there but I like a church that does things and this one has no activitys outside of sunday mornings. I myself havent been to church in over 6 weeks. I just dont have the disire to go back. I go to a baptist church on wedsday nights. The pastor there drove my school bus gowing up. its a nice church but I think it also suffers from lack of activiy. I heard a radio program that discribed the churches in revaltions and the luke warm church sounded like mine to a T. It got me thinking today.

What do you think? Should I leave this church and fined another or try to repair the damage at this one?
The church is gray and has about 40 members, and shrinks every year. We just lost a good friend about a month ago. He died in church!! very sad but when it came time for the dinner after the funeral we were told to get the menu ready but the pastor's wife went back and undid what we were told to do. I and my father were going to help in the kitchen like normal but she also told us that we were not needed at 3 of the ladys from church were going to do it. Needless to say we didnt go to the dinner.
Any thoughts
Brian
 

mmreed

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I think if you feel that unwelcomed, you need to find a new home. Church should be a family, and one you feel at home with.

Im going through similar struggles... Ive attended a few, and each seemed to have thier own social structures just like high school! You had the popular group - those that the pastor seems to favor and talk to... you have the snobby...those who seem to eye up everyone and evaluate them... then you have the drifters...those that kinda fade in and out and never feel right there...

I would like to find a home where I dont feel like I have to meet certain criteria...where I can be me...

Im still searching ....
 
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chilibowl

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I completely know, exactly, how you feel, The only difference is the actual circumstances but the rest/results are the same.. I haven't been to church for quite sometime as well, regulary anyway.. I've tried several new churches and I can't seem to find what I'm looking for either, and I know "Change" isn't on my old churches itenerary.. I tried to effect change in my own little corner of the church, and it was very sucessful and the churches "Singals minstry" (At the time) began to grow when the rest of the church continued to hemerage, when they saw the growth they bogged it down with there "Commities and well meaning decons" and stiffled what was there... From this I learned if a church is dying there is a reason... "There outside the will/blessing of god" You have to deside if god has called you to be a "Remnant" or a result/casuailty of a luke warm church... If you have a desire or a concern to help rebuild when they repent (if that is truly a possiablity) or if your completely burnt out and broken... I was Broken and very depressed over the condition of gods church at concord street... I lement still.
When I left I was completely disenfranchised over "Religion"... don't let it get that far... It's very hard to pick up and follow any christ centered "Religious" belief system after that.. All you'll look for is what a "church lacks" like your baptist church and not see what they do have...
So if you can't help, leave now cause if you wait till later then you won't ever be back!

GLGB
 
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mmreed

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I think many problems arise from the church trying to be something it is not - a social club.

I am seeing that many churches offer bingo, luncheons, dinners, singles events, game nights, etc... yet they rarely offer core religious services such as focused bible study, learning classes, etc...

And it seems that many of the non-denominationals are very charismatic and cater to youth... to the point that the services seem like a rock and roll concert, or a stage production.

I think there is a need for a resurfacing of teaching, learning, and fellowship....

I want to attend a church that feeds my thirst for learning about God as #1...not to play bingo and occasionally learn about God.
 
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P

Perfection2

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I would stay out of this church and go somewhere else. Stay out of the church activities, and go do some volenteer work at another place that does appreciate the work that is delivered. If someone is not satisfied with what you do , you should say' then do it yourself' and leave in an angry matter because

Clearly if you do your best for something, and it isn't appreciated. Then it's better to leave the honour for yourself then to engage even further and make things even more worse. So just back out and go to that place where you are 'appreciated'.
 
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