Premarital sex

Status
Not open for further replies.

Jase

Well-Known Member
Feb 20, 2003
7,330
385
✟10,432.00
Faith
Messianic
Politics
US-Democrat
I'm not convinced the greek word "inappropriate contenteia", translated as fornication in modern day bibles refers to all premarital sex. I think it had more to do with the Greco-Roman hedonistic promiscuity.

I also find it completely illogical that an engaged couple having sex the night before they get a marriage license is a sin, but if they wait one more day and have a judge sign off on a piece of paper, suddenly it's no longer a sin.

What an arbitrary boundary of sin.
 
Upvote 0

rayodeluz

Inadaptado
May 25, 2010
334
21
✟15,583.00
Faith
United Ch. of Christ
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Green
I agree with the above posts. As far as "casual sex" goes, I can certainly understand the temptation to engage in it, and I'm not so naive to think it doesn't happen all the time, but I always advise against it. There's always the risk of an unwanted pregnancy, risk of disease, potential for some seriously hurt feelings if one partner believes it'll take the relationship to something serious while the other partner just wants the physical act, etc. There are practical reasons to avoid pre-marital sex. However, if a person chooses to engage in such activities then that's his/her own decision, and none of my business.
 
Upvote 0

non-religious

Veteran
Mar 4, 2005
2,500
163
50
Herts
✟11,017.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Married
Sex is, although not necessarily always, an intrinsic part of marriage. If one enjoys having sex and believes that sex is an important part of their life, then surely it would be advisable to know how their future, possible life partner, performs. I wouldn't want to use the analogy of taking a car for a test drive before purchasing, but there is some merit to that. Some people are not particularly fussed about foreplay or oral sex etc... I think it would be nice to know those things prior to marriage.
 
Upvote 0

mfaust

There's No Place like 127.0.0.1
Jul 21, 2011
176
16
44
Eugene, Oregon
Visit site
✟7,907.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I wasn't given much of a choice. My girlfriend got out the rope and handcuffs...


JUST KIDDING!
Seriously, I have to agree with everything that has been said above. There CAN be a good feeling about waiting for marraige and I wouldn't judge anybody for waiting but like Jase said... it is illogical for God to condemn the act unless a piece of paper has been signed first.
 
Upvote 0

jpcedotal

Old School from the Backwoods - Christian Style
May 26, 2009
4,243
239
In between Deliverance and Brother, Where Art Thou
✟13,293.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Constitution
Look around....to me, it is hard to argue with the fact that sex outside of marriage has done more harm to society as a whole and the family unit on a personal level than everything else combined.
 
Upvote 0
L

LawsonAlan

Guest
Look around....to me, it is hard to argue with the fact that sex outside of marriage has done more harm to society as a whole and the family unit on a personal level than everything else combined.

Like, for example, the fact that humanity still exists?

Sex has been around a lot longer than marriage.

If you went back in time and eliminated all that sex, we wouldn't be here.
 
Upvote 0

Kristos

Servant
Aug 30, 2006
7,379
1,068
Minnesota
✟37,552.00
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Married
I'm sure there have been threads on this before on here, but what our your thoughts on premarital sex?

What's the up side? You get to have sex without marriage...???

Because you don't want to make the commitment?
Because you just can't wait?
Because you want act like cave man?
Because it's just a mistranslation anyway so we might as well do what feels good?
Because you would never buy a car without taking it for a test ride?
 
Upvote 0

mfaust

There's No Place like 127.0.0.1
Jul 21, 2011
176
16
44
Eugene, Oregon
Visit site
✟7,907.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
It's not about an "upside"... that is just ridiculous.

If a couple is mature enough and actually LOVES each other... marriage is nothing more but an expensive piece of paper. My parents were NEVER married and lived with each other from their high-school days until my father passed away at the age of 63. They never married because they were committed and devoted to each other from the beginning. There was no "common-law" marriage in that state.

"Legal" marriage is not something people need to worry about IF they are mature about their relationship.

Oh... and they were practicing Christians.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Nilloc

Senior Veteran
Mar 6, 2007
4,155
886
✟28,888.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Libertarian
What's the up side? You get to have sex without marriage...???

Because you don't want to make the commitment?
Because you just can't wait?
Because you want act like cave man?
Because it's just a mistranslation anyway so we might as well do what feels good?
Because you would never buy a car without taking it for a test ride?
Because some people, such as myself, don't like marriage and wish to practice other types of romantic relationships.
 
Upvote 0

Jase

Well-Known Member
Feb 20, 2003
7,330
385
✟10,432.00
Faith
Messianic
Politics
US-Democrat
Look around....to me, it is hard to argue with the fact that sex outside of marriage has done more harm to society as a whole and the family unit on a personal level than everything else combined.

Do you have an example? Countries with far more liberal views on sex than we do have far less issues than we do as well. Repressed sexual views as those found in religiously conservative areas always have bigger issues than liberated places.
 
Upvote 0

sniperelite7

Junior Member
Jun 13, 2005
411
28
31
✟8,240.00
Faith
Christian
Politics
US-Others
You need marriage to have commitment?

If the commitment isn't there then you have no business thinking about getting married.

My uncle has burnt through two marriages. The last one was over financial issues.

I have a great uncle who has been with his partner for an incredibly long time, despite his partner having a stroke he still cares for him and takes care of him. But they aren't married, I doubt that they can get married in their state. They also are apparently sexual aberrations, God apparently hates their unsanctioned/contrary to nature union and they also can never love with the fullness that a married heterosexual couple can lov-oh wait.:idea:
 
Upvote 0

Nilloc

Senior Veteran
Mar 6, 2007
4,155
886
✟28,888.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Libertarian
Couple reasons:


(1) I’m a loner at heart and suffer from social anxiety disorder. The idea of having to spend so much time with a spouse, sleeping with them in the same bed every night, eating at least two meals together everyday for the rest of your life, having kids and raising them in this miserable world, having to be so close to someone and you have no home to go to be alone, etc . . . sounds like utter hell.

(2) In order to be married, you either have to get a marriage license from the state or have someone of authority in a church deem you wed. Church and State: two entities I have *ahem* an extreme dislike for, especially the latter.

(3) While I do like kids, I’d never have any of my own. As Michael Scott once said: “Why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle?”

(4) Hinted at in number 1, but I’ll develop further here: the idea of having to live with someone is not appealing. Nor having to share all your stuff and spend every free hour together. A committed loving sexual relationship with a girlfriend is appealing to me though.

(5) Marriage seems to be an ancient way to define a woman as man’s property. It wasn’t about love; it was about creating social order just to survive. Since women are recognized as people and not property, unwanted pregnancies can be avoided by birth control, and neither offspring, nor shared residence are necessary for survival, it seems the reasons marriage were created for in the first place are obsolete. That’s not to say people still can’t marry; they of course can and I don’t care, but it’s not something I’ll be partaking in.

Would you say that you are a hedonist?
Since pleasure is subjective, I’d say everyone’s a hedonist.


Have you read "The Picture of Dorian Grey"?
Nope, I’ve wanted though. I don’t know anything about it, but my sister’s told me it’s good.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Kristos

Servant
Aug 30, 2006
7,379
1,068
Minnesota
✟37,552.00
Faith
Eastern Orthodox
Marital Status
Married
Couple reasons:

(1) I’m a loner at heart and suffer from social anxiety disorder. The idea of having to spend so much time with a spouse, sleeping with them in the same bed every night, eating at least two meals together everyday for the rest of your life, having kids and raising them in this miserable world, having to be so close to someone and you have no home to go to be alone, etc . . . sounds like utter hell.

(2) In order to be married, you either have to get a marriage license from the state or have someone of authority in a church deem you wed. Church and State: two entities I have *ahem* an extreme dislike for, especially the latter.

(3) While I do like kids, I’d never have any of my own. As Michael Scott once said: “Why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle?”

(4) Hinted at in number 1, but I’ll develop further here: the idea of having to live with someone is not appealing. Nor having to share all your stuff and spend every free hour together. A committed loving sexual relationship with a girlfriend is appealing to me though.

(5) Marriage seems to be an ancient way to define a woman as man’s property. It wasn’t about love; it was about creating social order just to survive. Since women are recognized as people and not property, unwanted pregnancies can be avoided by birth control, and neither offspring, nor shared residence are necessary for survival, it seems the reasons marriage were created for in the first place are obsolete. That’s not to say people still can’t marry; they of course can and I don’t care, but it’s not something I’ll be partaking in.

Since pleasure is subjective, I’d say everyone’s a hedonist.

Nope, I’ve wanted though. I don’t know anything about it, but my sister’s told me it’s good.

From what you have described here you are not really looking for "committed loving sexual relationship", more like you are looking for someone to satisfy your selfish sexual desires and then go away until you want them again. This is doesn't sound very committed. It definitely doesn't sound loving. I suppose it is sexual in the physical sense of the term, but there is more to sexual intimacy than the physical.

I think that hedonism is only relative if you view morality in general as relative.

Maybe before you read Dorian Grey you should read "The Abolition of Man" by CS Lewis. Just a thought in case you are honestly looking for the "right" answer here...
 
Upvote 0

Nilloc

Senior Veteran
Mar 6, 2007
4,155
886
✟28,888.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Libertarian
From what you have described here you are not really looking for "committed loving sexual relationship", more like you are looking for someone to satisfy your selfish sexual desires and then go away until you want them again. This is doesn't sound very committed. It definitely doesn't sound loving. I suppose it is sexual in the physical sense of the term, but there is more to sexual intimacy than the physical.
Not at all. I would never sleep with just anyone just because they were hot or I wanted to relieve myself. I'd never have sex with anyone unless I truly loved and cared for them.

I'm an introvert and introverts need time alone to recharge, otherwise the situation gets uncomfortable and the people I'm with begin to get on my nerves. I love my parents and sister more than anyone, but I can't always be with them. We can spend a Sunday together, but then I have to go to my room and either read a book, watch a movie, or something to relax and spend time alone.

That's the kind of relationship I want with a female. Someone I love and care for, we spend time together, sometimes spend the night, but then after that, we return to our separate residences to recharge. Would you say that a man and woman dating could not love each other just because they don't live together?
I think that hedonism is only relative if you view morality in general as relative.
All definitions I've ever heard for hedonism is that involves pleasure; I've never heard it mention morality. Since what is pleasurable is subjective to the individual and every individual is always trying to accomplish whatever goals they have, everyone is a hedonist.
Maybe before you read Dorian Grey you should read "The Abolition of Man" by CS Lewis. Just a thought in case you are honestly looking for the "right" answer here.
I like C.S. Lewis (never read that one though), but you could just summarize for me what he says since it's unlikely I'll be that anytime soon.
 
Upvote 0

non-religious

Veteran
Mar 4, 2005
2,500
163
50
Herts
✟11,017.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Married
[Kristos]What's the up side? You get to have sex without marriage...???

Because you don't want to make the commitment?
Because you just can't wait?
Because you want act like cave man?
Because it's just a mistranslation anyway so we might as well do what feels good?
Because you would never buy a car without taking it for a test ride?

How about sex being a wonderful expression of love between two consenting adults?

or

How about sex being an act in which two consenting adults want to indulge their particular desires?

The key word in both those examples is consenting. There is nothing remotely cave man(ish) about it. And I personally always test a car before purchasing, it would be unwise not to :)
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums
Status
Not open for further replies.