Pregnant at 18. Hailed by Abortion Foes. Punished by Christian School.

rambot

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What they see is that "the world will accommodate me."
Ive worked with plenty of pregnant teens but that group was feom a very high risk (none had parents and few had foster parents). None of them breathed a sigh of relief at getting pregnant nor were they "happy" to be pregnant. The few higher functioning, got good-things- in- their- life kids (loving parents, stable home). Those ones were freaking out becUse they understood and comprehended what a baby would do to them.

Given that this girl was pregnant, what should have been the correct path to take:

1) this one
Or
2) silent shameful abortion
?

We can. Mete out consequences for this but the article in the op raises the salient point that once a girl is pregnant... You should be dealing with "Now what?" not "Because we know about this there is a consequence"
 
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That's disgraceful of the school. A girl got pregnant at my school last year, decided to keep the baby. Now I know that some were judgmental but I think most were good to her. The school definitely was. She went to prom, graduation, you name it. Her baby was born with a defect, the intestines were outside of her stomach. There was a big fundraising effort to help her out.
 
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She doesn't want to discuss him. Maybe he's not even from that school.

That's good of her then. Just wondered if there was as much backlash towards him. Not that he'd deserve it either, she doesn't deserve how she's been treated.
 
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SoldierOfTheKing

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Given that this girl was pregnant, what should have been the correct path to take:

1) this one
Or
2) silent shameful abortion
?

How about humbly submitting to the school's discipline - without raising a stink about how "unfair" she thinks it is.
 
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Paidiske

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What would have been your suggestion?

I'd want to review their policies in full before answering in detail, but I would have thought that support rather than shame would have been important.

Hi all,

Now, as I see it, here's the question to be answered regarding the Amish and divorce as it pertains to this matter of the young woman and the school:

If an Amish couple were to get a divorce would it somehow be wrong to excommunicate them? Should the rule of Amish law specifically created to deal with the issue of divorce not be enforced if an Amish couple should get a divorce? Even if the wife and husband were exemplary Amish people in every other aspect of their lives. They helped out in the community and were always there for others who were struggling and were leaders in the Amish fellowship. Would it be against the will of God that they be excommunicated from their people?

For me, this issue has now been soundly discussed and so I'm out of here, although I will likely come back from time to time to see how things are going.

God bless you all,
In Christ, ted

For me, it would depend on the circumstances. Should an Amish wife be punished if she leaves the man who beats her? I'd say it would be wrong to excommunicate her in that circumstance.

Nothing occurs in a vacuum, and we need to weigh up the how and why of how a situation arises. In this instance of the young student, we don't know any of that.
 
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RDKirk

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I'd want to review their policies in full before answering in detail, but I would have thought that support rather than shame would have been important.

Why do you think it's shame? It's not as though they're parading her as a sinner?

I don't even look at this issue in a religious vein. I'm a military man. There are a number of circumstances in which a soldier might be told, "You don't fit our image right now" and wouldn't be in the parade. And that would be with people only two or three months older than this young woman.
 
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Paidiske

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Why do you think it's shame? It's not as though they're parading her as a sinner?

You don't think that's how it feels to her? She's being singled out and publicly shamed, is how I see it. I don't see that as a constructive approach to restoration.

I can't comment on military parades; I suspect my critique of them would go further to a critique of the military as a whole, let alone specific practices.
 
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rambot

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How about humbly submitting to the school's discipline - without raising a stink about how "unfair" she thinks it is.
So she should have told everyone she was pregnant then?
What obligation is it for the school to know?
 
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dmmesdale

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She is graduating with a 4.0 GPA, she broke the rules that she agreed to follow, what's the problem?

Personal responsibility does not end where one finds it convenient.
Professional educators should not have families and students in particular sign celibacy pledges in the first place. Sooner or later a female will and up pregnant and punishment will have to be dished out and nobody will be happy. The fact they had that policy means they really did not think it through. They did not see it coming? That is myopia. Her initial was far more severe but the father, who was a big shot in the school, intervened. Yeah Private schools, just keep having your students sign celibacy pledges. About 1 minute in. Disciplined because she was immoral according to the Principal.

So how much did they shell out in tuition and was it worth it? Better yet, how much taxpayer funds in the form of vouchers was spent on this? A for-profit private school?
 
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PloverWing

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I don't even look at this issue in a religious vein. I'm a military man. There are a number of circumstances in which a soldier might be told, "You don't fit our image right now" and wouldn't be in the parade. And that would be with people only two or three months older than this young woman.
You know, I think you have this exactly right. A pregnant single woman doesn't fit the image of the school, so they don't want her to be in their parade.
 
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rambot

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That's disgraceful of the school. A girl got pregnant at my school last year, decided to keep the baby. Now I know that some were judgmental but I think most were good to her. The school definitely was. She went to prom, graduation, you name it. Her baby was born with a defect, the intestines were outside of her stomach. There was a big fundraising effort to help her out.
See...to ME. That is the Christian response. THAT makes sense. It isn't about self preservation (and perception of the school), it's about wrapping and enveloping and love and recognizing the beauty of what will happen.

EDIT: In fact, what I find most intriguing about this whole story is how much I am starting understand the Pro-Life movement and it's nuances.
For example, once upon a time, I thought that the Pro-Life movement was a huge megolith with people who thought the same thing and who were motivated by the same thing. This story seems to make it pretty clear:
There are Pro-Lifers who maintain the focus on ONE thing: An unaborted fetus, coming to term, will become a baby child and we are trying to save that fetus.
Then it seems there is another group that is keen to focus on punitive and judgements around it. It is no longer about the joy of saving a baby. That is not the focus.
I think from now on, I'm going to call the first group "Pro-Lifers" and the second group "Pro-Judgers"; Not because they LIKE judging but because they are "professional" at it.

If that is NOT the focus of that work, then really, what IS the purpose?
 
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SeventyOne

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Have to wonder how many other girls at that school who get pregnant in the future will quietly get an abortion to avoid going through the humiliation they put this girl through.

According to the article, it was the family that sought outside advice that caused all this exposure concerning their daughter. I'm guessing as long as the other girls don't have the same family, they'll probably be alright.

This might even remind them to keep the legs closed as they promise to do before ever being accepted into the school.

It's not like the girl was kicked out of the school.
 
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RDKirk

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Have to wonder how many other girls at that school who get pregnant in the future will quietly get an abortion to avoid going through the humiliation they put this girl through.

False choice fallacy, repeated several times in this thread.

There are alternatives in adolescence to young woman other than pregnancy versus abortion. My daughter, for instance, neither became pregnant nor had an abortion.
 
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According to the article, it was the family that sought outside advice that caused all this exposure concerning their daughter. I'm guessing as long as the other girls don't have the same family, they'll probably be alright.

This might even remind them to keep the legs closed as they promise to do before ever being accepted into the school.

It's not like the girl was kicked out of the school.

So you think that if another girl got pregnant and didn't say anything about it, that school wouldn't take notice & do the exact same thing to her?
 
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False choice fallacy, repeated several times in this thread.

There are alternatives in adolescence to young woman other than pregnancy versus abortion. My daughter, for instance, neither became pregnant nor had an abortion.

Nope, not a false choice fallacy at all, just the honest logic of cause-and-effect.
 
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Nithavela

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This might even remind them to keep the legs closed as they promise to do before ever being accepted into the school.

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If that is NOT the focus of that work, then really, what IS the purpose?
 
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