Praying over and over again to be saved

KGGG

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My name is Ken Gustafson and I live in Americus, GA. I go by the title “KGGG”I have doubted my salvation just about all my life. I have OCD. I have prayed the sinner’s prayer over and over again thousands, if not millions of times, but I can’t seem to get any assurance that I’m saved because every time I start praying, I get thoughts of reluctance, reservation and hesitation about wanting to be saved. I want to go to heaven and not he’ll, but I keep feeling that I’m not being sincere enough with God. My mother said that when I was a child (about 6 or 7), I prayed with her to ask Jesus into my heart. I know back then that I wanted to go to heaven, but I wondered if I was trusting in her faith instead of my own. She has tried to reassure me that I k ew what I was doing and that I wanted to be saved.
However, a few years later, I began to wonder if I wanted to be saved because I started having thoughts about wanting to get out of something that I couldn’t cancel (eternal security). I wish I had never had that thought come into my mind. I want to know that I’m saved and I want to be happy about and have no regrets about it (Who would want to regret their salvation, right?). But being that I have had thoughts of regretting being saved makes me wonder if I was really saved to begin with. I don’t want these thoughts in my head. I can’t seem to get the assurance of salvation even after praying to be saved over and over again because these thoughts come into my mind every time I pray. I feel that I haven’t had enough sincerity and desire to be saved. I keep trying to generate the right amount of sincerity to be saved, but I feel that I’m always falling short. Even when I think I am saved, I’ll get negative thoughts about being saved. I don’t want those thoughts on my head. As strange as this sounds, I would rather be a miserable Christian regretting my salvation than to not be saved at all.
I think that when I was nine years old, I had hangups about getting into something that I couldn’t cancel out of (eternal security). I wish those thoughts had NEVER entered my mind. I hope I truly was saved when my mother prayed with me at 6 or 7. I’d love to believe that. Back then, Zi didn’t have any thoughts of “reluctance” or “reservations” about being saved. Sometimes, I wonder if my heart is growing hard and I’m close to being beyond repentance like another person posted on this site.
Bottom line, I can’t get assurance of my salvation because I can’t seem to “mean it enough” due to what I explained earlier. Is there anyone out there who can help me or is going through a similar situation? This has caused me years of agonizing mental and physical pain. Thank God there have been intervals in my life where I haven’t thought about this and I’ve been able to have some peace, but not during the past few years. This is all I can think about. I did mention earlier that I have OCD and that probably plays a factor. Can someone help me? I want to know I’m saved and not have any regrets about it.
 

d taylor

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My name is Ken Gustafson and I live in Americus, GA. I go by the title “KGGG”I have doubted my salvation just about all my life. I have OCD. I have prayed the sinner’s prayer over and over again thousands, if not millions of times, but I can’t seem to get any assurance that I’m saved because every time I start praying, I get thoughts of reluctance, reservation and hesitation about wanting to be saved. I want to go to heaven and not he’ll, but I keep feeling that I’m not being sincere enough with God. My mother said that when I was a child (about 6 or 7), I prayed with her to ask Jesus into my heart. I know back then that I wanted to go to heaven, but I wondered if I was trusting in her faith instead of my own. She has tried to reassure me that I k ew what I was doing and that I wanted to be saved.
However, a few years later, I began to wonder if I wanted to be saved because I started having thoughts about wanting to get out of something that I couldn’t cancel (eternal security). I wish I had never had that thought come into my mind. I want to know that I’m saved and I want to be happy about and have no regrets about it (Who would want to regret their salvation, right?). But being that I have had thoughts of regretting being saved makes me wonder if I was really saved to begin with. I don’t want these thoughts in my head. I can’t seem to get the assurance of salvation even after praying to be saved over and over again because these thoughts come into my mind every time I pray. I feel that I haven’t had enough sincerity and desire to be saved. I keep trying to generate the right amount of sincerity to be saved, but I feel that I’m always falling short. Even when I think I am saved, I’ll get negative thoughts about being saved. I don’t want those thoughts on my head. As strange as this sounds, I would rather be a miserable Christian regretting my salvation than to not be saved at all.
I think that when I was nine years old, I had hangups about getting into something that I couldn’t cancel out of (eternal security). I wish those thoughts had NEVER entered my mind. I hope I truly was saved when my mother prayed with me at 6 or 7. I’d love to believe that. Back then, Zi didn’t have any thoughts of “reluctance” or “reservations” about being saved. Sometimes, I wonder if my heart is growing hard and I’m close to being beyond repentance like another person posted on this site.
Bottom line, I can’t get assurance of my salvation because I can’t seem to “mean it enough” due to what I explained earlier. Is there anyone out there who can help me or is going through a similar situation? This has caused me years of agonizing mental and physical pain. Thank God there have been intervals in my life where I haven’t thought about this and I’ve been able to have some peace, but not during the past few years. This is all I can think about. I did mention earlier that I have OCD and that probably plays a factor. Can someone help me? I want to know I’m saved and not have any regrets about it.

God's free gift of Eternal Life is not received by saying a set prayer. The Bible plainly states that God's free gift of Eternal Life is received by believing in The promised Messiah (Jesus). Trust in Jesus for God's free gift of Eternal Life.

Assurance also like Eternal Life comes by not looking at yourself and something you have done. But assurance comes by simply believing God at His promise that all who trust in The Messiah has crossed over from death to life.

“Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.

So do you or do you not believe the promise of God if you do, then you have Eternal Life never to lose it.
 
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Tolworth John

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can’t seem to get the assurance of salvation even after praying to be saved over and over again because these thoughts come into my mind every time I pray. I feel that I haven’t had enough sincerity and desire to be saved. I keep trying to generate the right amount of sincerity to be saved,

Salvation is not dependant upon your ' feelings ' or upon your sincerity, but upon Jesus's love and mercy.

One thing is not mentioned in your post and that is how you seek to live.
Are you regular in attendance at church?
Do you seek to live to honour Jesus?

May I suggest that you do those two things and that you also check out the free web site:-
25 tips for successfully treating your OCD.
Please read and reread these tips, share them with family, friends, minister and doctor, particularly point 4.


Not every Christian has assurance of salvation, that doesn't mean they are not saved, just that they lack assurance.
 
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Leaf473

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Hi KGGG, and welcome to CF!

Yes, other people have similar thoughts. Other people have written posts here very similar to yours.

If you'd like to open a thread over here, people could talk more in depth with you :)
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
 
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KGGG

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God's free gift of Eternal Life is not received by saying a set prayer. The Bible plainly states that God's free gift of Eternal Life is received by believing in The promised Messiah (Jesus). Trust in Jesus for God's free gift of Eternal Life.

Assurance also like Eternal Life comes by not looking at yourself and something you have done. But assurance comes by simply believing God at His promise that all who trust in The Messiah has crossed over from death to life.

“Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.

So do you or do you not believe the promise of God if you do, then you have Eternal Life never to lose it.
 
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KGGG

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I believe that promise from God.For some reason though, these “barriers” come up in my mind when I pray, such as, “do I really want to be saved”. Of course I do, otherwise I wouldn’t have all this anxiety over it and I wouldn’t be bothered about having negative thoughts and feelings about salvation. I wish God would take these bad thoughts about salvation away from me. It’s because of those thoughts that I can’t be totally sure that I am sincere enough with God and that I’m truly saved. DO I HAVE ENOUGH SINCERITY TO BE SAVED? Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m not saved and my heart is growing hard and maybe God has taken His Holy Spirit away from me.
 
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Leaf473

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I believe that promise from God.For some reason though, these “barriers” come up in my mind when I pray, such as, “do I really want to be saved”. Of course I do, otherwise I wouldn’t have all this anxiety over it and I wouldn’t be bothered about having negative thoughts and feelings about salvation. I wish God would take these bad thoughts about salvation away from me. It’s because of those thoughts that I can’t be totally sure that I am sincere enough with God and that I’m truly saved. DO I HAVE ENOUGH SINCERITY TO BE SAVED? Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m not saved and my heart is growing hard and maybe God has taken His Holy Spirit away from me.
Yes, there are reasons why your mind keeps bringing up those questions.

If you'd like to open up a thread over here, people can go into a lot more depth with you :heart:
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, God’s love, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you.
 
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Christoph Maria

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up11_zpsb00daz00.gif



WELCOME to Christian Forums!


“And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.”

Deuteronomy 6:5
______________________________

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
Isaiah 41:10

_____________________________________________


And Jesus looking upon them saith, With
men
it is impossible, but not with God:
for with God all things are possible.
Mark 10:27


_____________________________________________

The Lord is not slow to keep his promise.
He is not slow in the way some people understand it.
He is patient with you.
He doesn't want anyone to be destroyed.
Instead, he wants all people
to turn away from their sins.

2 Peter 3:9


_____________________________________________



.
 
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Mari17

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My name is Ken Gustafson and I live in Americus, GA. I go by the title “KGGG”I have doubted my salvation just about all my life. I have OCD. I have prayed the sinner’s prayer over and over again thousands, if not millions of times, but I can’t seem to get any assurance that I’m saved because every time I start praying, I get thoughts of reluctance, reservation and hesitation about wanting to be saved. I want to go to heaven and not he’ll, but I keep feeling that I’m not being sincere enough with God. My mother said that when I was a child (about 6 or 7), I prayed with her to ask Jesus into my heart. I know back then that I wanted to go to heaven, but I wondered if I was trusting in her faith instead of my own. She has tried to reassure me that I k ew what I was doing and that I wanted to be saved.
However, a few years later, I began to wonder if I wanted to be saved because I started having thoughts about wanting to get out of something that I couldn’t cancel (eternal security). I wish I had never had that thought come into my mind. I want to know that I’m saved and I want to be happy about and have no regrets about it (Who would want to regret their salvation, right?). But being that I have had thoughts of regretting being saved makes me wonder if I was really saved to begin with. I don’t want these thoughts in my head. I can’t seem to get the assurance of salvation even after praying to be saved over and over again because these thoughts come into my mind every time I pray. I feel that I haven’t had enough sincerity and desire to be saved. I keep trying to generate the right amount of sincerity to be saved, but I feel that I’m always falling short. Even when I think I am saved, I’ll get negative thoughts about being saved. I don’t want those thoughts on my head. As strange as this sounds, I would rather be a miserable Christian regretting my salvation than to not be saved at all.
I think that when I was nine years old, I had hangups about getting into something that I couldn’t cancel out of (eternal security). I wish those thoughts had NEVER entered my mind. I hope I truly was saved when my mother prayed with me at 6 or 7. I’d love to believe that. Back then, Zi didn’t have any thoughts of “reluctance” or “reservations” about being saved. Sometimes, I wonder if my heart is growing hard and I’m close to being beyond repentance like another person posted on this site.
Bottom line, I can’t get assurance of my salvation because I can’t seem to “mean it enough” due to what I explained earlier. Is there anyone out there who can help me or is going through a similar situation? This has caused me years of agonizing mental and physical pain. Thank God there have been intervals in my life where I haven’t thought about this and I’ve been able to have some peace, but not during the past few years. This is all I can think about. I did mention earlier that I have OCD and that probably plays a factor. Can someone help me? I want to know I’m saved and not have any regrets about it.
This is a very typical type of obsession for a Christian with OCD. Have you ever gotten treatment for your OCD, or been able to learn about effective treatment strategies (such as ERP - exposure and response prevention)? I've had OCD almost all my life and am willing to discuss the specific treatment of it more, if you'd like. I also encourage you to take a look at the following resources. The final link is to a closed (hidden from your public page) Facebook support group that I've found to be helpful. I'd encourage you to join it, if you're interested.
Scrupulosity.com: Faith-based Solutions for Religious OCD - Scrupulosity.com
OCD and Scrupulosity Archives - ACCFS
OCD & CHRISTIANITY – CHRISTIANITY
Christianity and Anxiety Disorders - Let's Talk | Facebook
 
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Michie

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My name is Ken Gustafson and I live in Americus, GA. I go by the title “KGGG”I have doubted my salvation just about all my life. I have OCD. I have prayed the sinner’s prayer over and over again thousands, if not millions of times, but I can’t seem to get any assurance that I’m saved because every time I start praying, I get thoughts of reluctance, reservation and hesitation about wanting to be saved. I want to go to heaven and not he’ll, but I keep feeling that I’m not being sincere enough with God. My mother said that when I was a child (about 6 or 7), I prayed with her to ask Jesus into my heart. I know back then that I wanted to go to heaven, but I wondered if I was trusting in her faith instead of my own. She has tried to reassure me that I k ew what I was doing and that I wanted to be saved.
However, a few years later, I began to wonder if I wanted to be saved because I started having thoughts about wanting to get out of something that I couldn’t cancel (eternal security). I wish I had never had that thought come into my mind. I want to know that I’m saved and I want to be happy about and have no regrets about it (Who would want to regret their salvation, right?). But being that I have had thoughts of regretting being saved makes me wonder if I was really saved to begin with. I don’t want these thoughts in my head. I can’t seem to get the assurance of salvation even after praying to be saved over and over again because these thoughts come into my mind every time I pray. I feel that I haven’t had enough sincerity and desire to be saved. I keep trying to generate the right amount of sincerity to be saved, but I feel that I’m always falling short. Even when I think I am saved, I’ll get negative thoughts about being saved. I don’t want those thoughts on my head. As strange as this sounds, I would rather be a miserable Christian regretting my salvation than to not be saved at all.
I think that when I was nine years old, I had hangups about getting into something that I couldn’t cancel out of (eternal security). I wish those thoughts had NEVER entered my mind. I hope I truly was saved when my mother prayed with me at 6 or 7. I’d love to believe that. Back then, Zi didn’t have any thoughts of “reluctance” or “reservations” about being saved. Sometimes, I wonder if my heart is growing hard and I’m close to being beyond repentance like another person posted on this site.
Bottom line, I can’t get assurance of my salvation because I can’t seem to “mean it enough” due to what I explained earlier. Is there anyone out there who can help me or is going through a similar situation? This has caused me years of agonizing mental and physical pain. Thank God there have been intervals in my life where I haven’t thought about this and I’ve been able to have some peace, but not during the past few years. This is all I can think about. I did mention earlier that I have OCD and that probably plays a factor. Can someone help me? I want to know I’m saved and not have any regrets about it.
Welcome! You may be interested in this forum as well to assist you in your struggles. :)

 
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Paul4JC

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My name is Ken Gustafson and I live in Americus, GA. I go by the title “KGGG”I have doubted my salvation just about all my life. I have OCD. I have prayed the sinner’s prayer over and over again thousands, if not millions of times, but I can’t seem to get any assurance that I’m saved because every time I start praying, I get thoughts of reluctance, reservation and hesitation about wanting to be saved. I want to go to heaven and not he’ll, but I keep feeling that I’m not being sincere enough with God. My mother said that when I was a child (about 6 or 7), I prayed with her to ask Jesus into my heart. I know back then that I wanted to go to heaven, but I wondered if I was trusting in her faith instead of my own. She has tried to reassure me that I k ew what I was doing and that I wanted to be saved.
However, a few years later, I began to wonder if I wanted to be saved because I started having thoughts about wanting to get out of something that I couldn’t cancel (eternal security). I wish I had never had that thought come into my mind. I want to know that I’m saved and I want to be happy about and have no regrets about it (Who would want to regret their salvation, right?). But being that I have had thoughts of regretting being saved makes me wonder if I was really saved to begin with. I don’t want these thoughts in my head. I can’t seem to get the assurance of salvation even after praying to be saved over and over again because these thoughts come into my mind every time I pray. I feel that I haven’t had enough sincerity and desire to be saved. I keep trying to generate the right amount of sincerity to be saved, but I feel that I’m always falling short. Even when I think I am saved, I’ll get negative thoughts about being saved. I don’t want those thoughts on my head. As strange as this sounds, I would rather be a miserable Christian regretting my salvation than to not be saved at all.
I think that when I was nine years old, I had hangups about getting into something that I couldn’t cancel out of (eternal security). I wish those thoughts had NEVER entered my mind. I hope I truly was saved when my mother prayed with me at 6 or 7. I’d love to believe that. Back then, Zi didn’t have any thoughts of “reluctance” or “reservations” about being saved. Sometimes, I wonder if my heart is growing hard and I’m close to being beyond repentance like another person posted on this site.
Bottom line, I can’t get assurance of my salvation because I can’t seem to “mean it enough” due to what I explained earlier. Is there anyone out there who can help me or is going through a similar situation? This has caused me years of agonizing mental and physical pain. Thank God there have been intervals in my life where I haven’t thought about this and I’ve been able to have some peace, but not during the past few years. This is all I can think about. I did mention earlier that I have OCD and that probably plays a factor. Can someone help me? I want to know I’m saved and not have any regrets about it.
You did your part, now let God do the rest. God bless you.
 
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SeventhFisherofMen

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My name is Ken Gustafson and I live in Americus, GA. I go by the title “KGGG”I have doubted my salvation just about all my life. I have OCD. I have prayed the sinner’s prayer over and over again thousands, if not millions of times, but I can’t seem to get any assurance that I’m saved because every time I start praying, I get thoughts of reluctance, reservation and hesitation about wanting to be saved. I want to go to heaven and not he’ll, but I keep feeling that I’m not being sincere enough with God. My mother said that when I was a child (about 6 or 7), I prayed with her to ask Jesus into my heart. I know back then that I wanted to go to heaven, but I wondered if I was trusting in her faith instead of my own. She has tried to reassure me that I k ew what I was doing and that I wanted to be saved.
However, a few years later, I began to wonder if I wanted to be saved because I started having thoughts about wanting to get out of something that I couldn’t cancel (eternal security). I wish I had never had that thought come into my mind. I want to know that I’m saved and I want to be happy about and have no regrets about it (Who would want to regret their salvation, right?). But being that I have had thoughts of regretting being saved makes me wonder if I was really saved to begin with. I don’t want these thoughts in my head. I can’t seem to get the assurance of salvation even after praying to be saved over and over again because these thoughts come into my mind every time I pray. I feel that I haven’t had enough sincerity and desire to be saved. I keep trying to generate the right amount of sincerity to be saved, but I feel that I’m always falling short. Even when I think I am saved, I’ll get negative thoughts about being saved. I don’t want those thoughts on my head. As strange as this sounds, I would rather be a miserable Christian regretting my salvation than to not be saved at all.
I think that when I was nine years old, I had hangups about getting into something that I couldn’t cancel out of (eternal security). I wish those thoughts had NEVER entered my mind. I hope I truly was saved when my mother prayed with me at 6 or 7. I’d love to believe that. Back then, Zi didn’t have any thoughts of “reluctance” or “reservations” about being saved. Sometimes, I wonder if my heart is growing hard and I’m close to being beyond repentance like another person posted on this site.
Bottom line, I can’t get assurance of my salvation because I can’t seem to “mean it enough” due to what I explained earlier. Is there anyone out there who can help me or is going through a similar situation? This has caused me years of agonizing mental and physical pain. Thank God there have been intervals in my life where I haven’t thought about this and I’ve been able to have some peace, but not during the past few years. This is all I can think about. I did mention earlier that I have OCD and that probably plays a factor. Can someone help me? I want to know I’m saved and not have any regrets about it.
"and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

salvation is not a car lease or some contract where you are stuck, that mentality only applies to things that are burdensome. What has happened is the enemy has tried to twist a good thing and make it seem bad. You must realize you are free, free to choose to be with Jesus. Talk to Jesus like your friend, tell Him your thoughts. When you have those bad thoughts tell Jesus and He will rid you of them. It may not immediately go away permanently but it can. Keep chipping away keep praying, they will go away and if they come back keep pressing forward. You need to have your mind continually washed by Jesus to help rid yourself of those thoughts, it's not a burdensome thing rather than just a washing of your mind until one day you no longer have those thoughts and if you do you know how to combat them.

The best way to combat negative thoughts is first with truth. Find scripture to help combat the thought that you don't want salvation.

Let me just help you now to think of it differently. So your initial thought is "what if i can't get out of salvation" Salvation is not some trap to get out of, it is something you are freely given. Ok so why would you not want salvation? Like really why? Is it purely because you don't want some form of commitment? It could be you're just thinking of salvation as something unwanted that you can't get out of. Is it repetitive thoughts that bother you? Just tell Jesus that when you have those thoughts please help you to be rid of them, and forgive you for having them. Find imagery and ways to think differently. Just talk to Jesus and really think about a different way of thinking of salvation. Jesus wants you to not worry about how you think of salvation. Rather Jesus wants you to know He is with you and knows how you feel and think and still wants you to have salvation. Just try and think of it differently, really try it will get easier. Do not give up :)
 
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YahuahSaves

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every time I start praying, I get thoughts of reluctance, reservation and hesitation about wanting to be saved.

I think that when I was nine years old, I had hangups about getting into something that I couldn’t cancel out of (eternal security).
These two statements jumped out at me when reading your post.

It sounds like you had some idea that eternal security means you'll be trapped. I understand the symptoms of OCD because I've had them.
Believe when I say (and the scriptures say), salvation is about freedom.

Fear and paranoia can play a huge part in these kinds of thought patterns and it is not of God.

2 Timothy 1:7


7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

2 Corinthians 10:5

5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.

John 8:31-32

31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
 
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